View Steve Rogers

I sat on a hard uncomfortable Holtz chair as I had so many times in the past and waited. I was waiting for the doctor's examination to be approved for the army. I was optimistic, even though I had been turned down five times, I kept trying. Bucky had tried to talk me out of it but he couldn't, I was desperate to go to war. Not because I wanted to kill, no, I hated killing. I wanted to go to war because I had no right to do any less than any other man in New York. It didn't matter that I suffered from asthma and weighed half as much as all the other men around me.
"Steve Rogers," I heard the deep voice of the man who stamped the admission slips. I slapped my paper together and got in line. It wasn't long before it was my turn. My optimism collapsed when I saw the disparaging look of the man in front of me.
"I'm sorry kid." he actually managed to sound regretful, while inside he was probably laughing his head off at my puny body.
"Please at least give me a chance!" I tried again. But a red glowing 4F was already pressed on my writing. Which meant I was unfit for war. Disappointed, I grabbed the letter and left the building. Frustrated, I tore up the note. I made my way to the cinema, I loved the cinema it always cheered me up a bit when I was angry or sad about something. As I walked the 500 metres through the busy streets of Brooklyn, I was already thinking about where I lived, where I "came from" to be able to apply for the army again. The fact that Bucky had already been ordered to march again three days ago didn't exactly improve my mood. He had only just returned from Italy three weeks ago. Tomorrow morning he would be gone and I wouldn't see him again for a long time, if he ever came back at all. He had assured me so often that he would come back in good health that I almost believed it, as I said, almost. I knew so many women whose husbands never came back. Certainly I'm not comparing myself to a woman here, but I couldn't go on living without Bucky. For a year now we had successfully kept our relationship a secret. It is always said that such a thing is wrong, but tell me how can something be wrong when it feels so right.

I had arrived at the cinema by now and let my eyes wander over the few display boards. There was nothing special, I had seen it all before, so I just decided to watch a film again. As far as I could remember, it was about a war hero who is wounded in the war and tries to get back to his life. I bought a ticket and dropped into my seat. For once, I did without popcorn today. Before the film started, a short film about the war raging in the world was shown. The whole hall was silent, everyone listening devoutly, all but one person.
"Turn that bullshit off!" came from two rows behind me.
I decided to ignore it, as hard as it was, people like that made me furious.
"Show the film already!"
I couldn't contain myself any longer and shouted to the back "You better show some respect!"
In retrospect, that wasn't very clever, because when I took a quick look behind my shoulder, I saw that the man I had just challenged was about two heads taller than me. He was staring at me as if he wanted to eat me. I swallowed hard and turned around again. I didn't notice much of the film because I spent the whole hour and a half thinking about how to get home without getting a black eye.
As soon as the credits rolled, I got up and almost ran out of the cinema. But of course the troublemaker had kept a close eye on me and was catching up fast. I barely got two blocks before he had grabbed me by the arm and flung me into a side alley.
"You should get where your place is on the food chain kid!"
I picked myself up again and raised my fists, at least trying to look like I knew what I was doing. The man opposite me grinned and lashed out with his right hand. Surprisingly, I managed to block his punch, but let my guard down and he hit me full force in the face. I fell back into the dirt and groaned slightly in pain. There was a metallic taste in my mouth. With difficulty I picked myself up for the second time and grabbed a dustbin lid which I held in front of me like a shield. Again the troublemaker just laughed. "You really don't know when you've lost, do you, kid?"
"I can do this all day!" What I said wasn't true, but I hadn't been afraid of guys like him for a long time. If I were afraid of everyone who looked at me cross-eyed, I would die of panic.
My opposite couldn't hold back his laughter, I saw a good chance and attacked him. In later life, it was a mistake. He snatched my shield from my hand and pushed me back into the dirt, then kicked me in the ribs. Sharp pain went through my upper body, I was sure that at least one rib was broken. I curled up into a ball and just waited for him to lose the fun of me and leave.
"Hey you better pick on someone your own size!"
I couldn't help but smile. As I always did when I heard Bucky's voice. I turned with difficulty onto my side and could just see Bucky kick the troublemaker in the back and he made a hasty exit.
"Steve what are you always doing?" with a worried look on his face Bucky approached me.
"I'm fine Bucky, I had him where I wanted him." I grinned at him, covering my aching ribs, I didn't want him to worry too much.
He held out his hand and gently pulled me up. Only now did I notice that he was wearing his uniform, in which he looked stunning by the way.
"Yeah, right." he grinned back and then blew me a kiss on the cheek at the speed of light. We both couldn't bring ourselves to do more out of fear.
Afterwards, he buddily put his arm around my shoulders and we walked out of the alley.
"I don't want you to go." his uniform had reminded me that he had to go to England tomorrow, a fact I had successfully suppressed until now.
" I know I don't want to leave either, but I'll be back. Besides, I have a surprise for you tonight." he grinned at me.
Involuntarily I had to laugh back, but still I couldn't let go of the thought of how often Bucky repeated that nothing would happen to him. Almost as if he had to convince himself of that.