"No!" Tears welled up in my eyes. I felt like I was drowning. Andrea couldn't be dead "It's not true Kili, tell me it's not true!" I sobbed.
I felt him take me in his arms "I'm so sorry."
I let out a strangled cry and tears flowed inexorably from my blinded eyes. I clung to Kili, resisting his grip at the same time as I cried. My heart felt as if it had been broken into tiny splinters, I screamed again and again, for there was no other way to get rid of my pain, which seemed to be eating me up from the inside. Kili just held me tight and prevented me from falling out of bed. When there were no more tears left and I was exhausted, I just leaned against Kili and sobbed quietly. Slowly the exhaustion, the sadness overcame me and I dozed off more and more until I fell asleep leaning against Kili.
I felt a weight on my stomach when I woke up. I opened my eyes, but when I opened them and saw nothing, it all came back to me. The past day flashed back into my mind, the death of my youngest daughter. Tears formed in my eyes again, I moved my hands to what was lying on my stomach. When I felt half-length hair and a jewellery clasp, I realised it was Kili. I took a deep breath and wiped the tears from my cheeks.
Kili's head started to move and straightened up, even though I couldn't see anything, I knew exactly how he was looking at me worriedly.
"How?" that was the first thing I said since I had found out about Andrea's death, I needed to know what had happened.
Kili took my hand again "A Nazgul, she was in his way as he flew towards Thèoden."
My lip began to tremble.
Kili sobbed softly before continuing "There was nothing left of her but her sword."
I gasped, two tears running down my cheeks "We can't even give her a burial." I burst out. I clung to Kili's hand, which was the only thing keeping me from being lost in my broken world.
I felt Kili place his hand on my cheek "The funeral is in a two hours."
I took a deep breath in and out "then help me get dressed." I sat up a little and put my legs out of the bed.
Kili's hand gently held me back "Are you sure, you haven't been awake from your faint for very long."
I pressed my lips together resolutely "I must say goodbye to her Kili." carefully I stood up, struggling to keep my balance.
But Kili was there in a moment and put one arm around my waist, with the other he took my hand "All right, but take it easy." he led me a few steps "We are in front of a sink." he took my hands and placed them on the edge.
Soon after I heard water splashing, I reached out and splashed some of it on my face. The water washed away the salty traces of tears. Kili handed me a rag to dry myself in.
Kili took my hand again and led me somewhere else "Be careful, there are four steps coming up" he warned me.
I just nodded, it required the utmost concentration from me to walk straight. When we got to the steps I descended each one with extreme caution and very tentatively, though Kili's words guided me. "Wait here a moment." Kili placed my hands on something wooden, an armchair or something similar. I heard him take a few steps away and then open something with a creaking sound. Only a few seconds later he came back and pressed something soft into my hands.
I fumbled for something, it had to be something to wear. He quickly helped me put it on, it was a blouse, a pair of trousers that got wider and wider towards the bottom and a bodice that went almost to my neck. Then he helped me into my boots and put my hair up, with dwarves it didn't matter if you were a dwarf or a dwarfess, anyone could do hair. The last thing he did was to pass my arms through the sleeves of a knee-length coat. When he was done I took his hands in mine "Thank you." I breathed, for the fear of him leaving me was still deep inside me.
He pressed a kiss to my hands "I would do anything for you."
I smiled slightly, searched his face with my hands and pressed my lips briefly to his.
When we separated again, he took my hand, "Ready?" he murmured.
I took another deep breath and then nodded, afraid to go out among people, afraid that I would lose Kili, because then I wouldn't know my way around. I heard a door creak open and Kili led me through. Voices rang out at me. As far as I could tell from the sounds, we were in one of the many corridors of the palace in Minas Tirith. Many people Kili led me past, many whispering, thinking I couldn't hear them, but I did.
"That she's still alive...", "Poor thing..."
All these noises made it even more difficult for me to keep my balance. I breathed a sigh of relief as we came out into the open. I literally drew in the fresh air, listening to the birds chirping. A sweet scent hit my nose, I flared my nostrils a little, it had to be flowers. "What does it look like here, describe it to me." I asked Kili.
He led me down some steps "Directly in front of us is the tree of kings, it is blooming again. There are two pyres set up in the large square." he whispered something, there were already many there, I realised. The closer we came, the more the sadness pressed on my heart, suddenly Kili stopped "We are here." he informed me.
I swallowed again tears rose to my eyes.
"Let us begin!" I winced slightly as I suddenly heard Aragorn's voice "Much we have won in this battle. Sauron has suffered a deep wound." he paused for a moment "Never shall we forget those who laid down their lives for this victory. Today we remember Thèoden of Rohan and Andrea Durin's daughter."
Two tears rolled silently down my cheeks.
Aragorn raised his voice a little "May they wait for us in the halls of our forefathers."
I heard a torch flare up "No!" I cried, I took a few steps forward and miraculously found my daughter's pyre alone. I placed my hands on the wood "I'm so incredibly sorry." I breathed, tears running down my cheeks "I'm sorry I couldn't save you. The memory of you will never fade, I carry it in my heart forever." I wiped my tears away. With a twisting motion I let a fireball form in my hand "Find peace in Durin's halls, my daughter." I murmured, then shot the fireball in front of me and only seconds later I heard it crack as the fire ate through the wood on which lay nothing but Andrea's sword, which the Nazgul had spared.
I fell to my knees in front of the burning wood and just felt the fire in my face. Next to me, Thèoden's pyre was lit, I heard quiet sobs, it was from Èowyn, losing her uncle must have been a terrible shock. Only marginally did I hear the crowd disperse after a while. One by one everyone left, I still sat in the same spot listening to the wood burn. Until the wood suffered the same fate as Andrea. It crumbled to dust and nothing was left of it but the memory.