(Warning. This chapter contains a very brief mention of suicide, but no discussion.)

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Jay was shaken up for a long time after what happened at the police station, understandably so as well.

The man was a terrorist, who took life for no good reason, and was a person the world was better off without, but at any rate... sudden death happening mere inches from your face could cut pretty deep.

Considering Jay's already weakened mental state, it affected him very very deeply.

When they got back to the Bounty, Jay had headed straight to bed. He laid there for hours, staring at the ceiling, wishing that sleep would come and whisk him away on an adventure, far far away from his current predicament, though alas, it never did.

Finally, when the windows grew dark as evening came, he gave up, and forced himself to leave the soft and comforting terrain of his bed.

He needed to talk to somebody, he needed to get his worries out, and, ultimately, needed a shoulder to cry on.

Whether he would end up actually crying or not, Jay knew that any form of support would be excellent right now.

And he knew exactly who he wanted to talk to.

Cole.

He found him outside, after a little bit of searching. Stood, solitary, looking over the edge of the Bounty.

It was evening, but the constant moonlight lit up the landscape, reflecting on the body of water below and dancing away in every direction.

It was pretty, in an odd sort of way.

"... hey, Cole..." Jay spoke, alerting him of his presence.

His eyes lit up slightly, as if he was thrilled to have somebody else on deck.

"... hey Jay. You feeling better?"

"Not really, but... I just... I wanted to talk to you."

"Hmm? About anything in particular?"

"Yeah, but, more for the company than anything else."

Cole smiled, the dimples on his cheeks growing more prominent.

"Well, I'm not complaining. C'mere bluebell, don't stand so far away."

Jay obliged, walking closer and joining him at the edge, looking down over the water far below.

"... I hope you aren't blaming yourself for feeling bad.

"What do you mean?"

"... back at the station. He just... died. Right in front of you. Nobody with half a heart would be ok after that."

Jay shrugged, hugging himself.

"... I guess... I'm not that ok, right now."

"I don't know what else to say other than, well, I'm here for you. If you need anything particular right now, if I can give it, I will. Just say the word."

Jay bit his lip, and then started talking.

"... what... what's worrying me most right now... is how he died, and how the rest of them supposedly died too. Nothing ingested as far as we know, nothing sharp... so... how did it happen? How did he die so suddenly?"

"What are you getting at here?"

"It, seems really, really far fetched but... what if this Dei Noctis thing... what if it actually exists?"

Cole looked to his friend, and was briefly taken aback at the look of absolute fear on his face.

"... what if it's actually real...?"

Jay tensed up when Cole placed his hand on his shoulder, but relaxed again when he gave him a supportive squeeze.

"At this point, Jay, I don't know either. But, what I do know, is that I'll stick with you no matter what. Even if we need to fight some nasty god together... you're my best friend. You'll never fight alone as long as I'm around."

"Mmh... thanks Cole... it means a lot..."

A gust of wind flickered across the ship, seeking out the bare skin of Jay's arms.

He shivered, hugging himself closer in an attempt to preserve an element of warmth. It hardly worked.

"You shouldn't come out here at night with only a t-shirt on, you know."

"Yeah, I know, I just-"

He didn't have time to finish his sentence, before Cole was unzipping his own hoodie and placing it around his shoulders.

"Hey! That's-" Jay started.

"I'm not that cold, don't worry about it."

Usually, he'd complain and put up a right fuss, but Cole's hoodie was really warm, and he did seem to be unaffected by the cold, even with just a tank top on underneath.

"... all of this is probably keeping you warm." He smiled, poking his prominent bicep with a shaking finger.

"Hmm, you calling me fat?" He joked.

"What? No! I was saying you're muscly!"

"I'm kidding Jay, chill out!" He replied with a laugh, sighing and looking down at the waters below once more, his tranquil expression returning.

"... so, what's going on with Nya?"

The question came out of nowhere and took him aback.

"... Nya? Oh! I-"

"You don't need to say if you don't want to."

"No, it's... it's ok."

He took a breath, and pulled Cole's jumper tighter around his shaking form.

"... we're on a break, or, that's what she said at least. Not into the idea of dating a trans guy... or, not yet. It kinda just felt like she was making things up to make me feel better..."

Cole scratched his forehead and blew a strand of hair out of his face.

Jay felt his anxiety starting to bubble up, as thoughts he didn't want to have came into the limelight.

"... you're asking because you wanna know if she's available... aren't you..." he whispered, trying to hide the upset in his voice.

Cole though, was surprised, and gave him a look of confusion.

"What? No? Jay I, I was never really interested in Nya, you do know that, right?"

"... but -"

"- Yeah, all that stuff with the perfect match machine... I... I guess I was just thrilled a girl was showing interest in me for the first time. I... I never actually liked her that way. I'm sorry... I caused you so much grief over that, for nothing."

"... it's ok."

"No, it isn't. I don't think I've ever properly apologised for all of that, and, I should've."

Cole got up from his leaning position, and addressed him directly.

"... I ruined your relationship with Nya, I got in the middle of it, I confused her more than she already was - making everything a million times worse - and above everything else, I upset you... and hurt you... and betrayed your trust... my best friend... and I don't know how you've been able to forgive me for that... but... I really really am sorry."

"... Cole, I-"

"I haven't been the friend I should have been, so now, more than ever, I'm determined to be here for you and help you. I don't care if Kai is also my friend... he's being... awful right now. I've always been closer to you anyway, and, I'll be here for you no matter what."

Drip. Drop.

Tears started to grow and fall in Jay's tired eyes.

"... hey, d-don't cry!" Cole exclaimed, stepping forward and reaching out for him.

"... I should say sorry too... I acted like it was all your fault... that Nya was considering you over me... that wasn't your fault at all... I'm sorry I was so rude to you..."

"Jay, you don't need to say sorry for anything-"

"Yes I do! I was horrible to you when it wasn't your fault at all! I-It was probably all my fault anyway, I was the one who drove her away, it was me it was all me!"

"... what do you mean?"

Jay covered his eyes with his hands, not wanting Cole to see his distraught face.

"... why would she ever choose me... if you were an option...? You're just... better, in every way..."

Cole took him by the shoulders, and pulled him into a tight embrace.

"... no... that's not true... Jay, you're smart, and funny, and kind, and cute... girls love nice guys like you..."

"... Nya didn't... doesn't..."

"... maybe Nya's not seeing how amazing you really are..."

Cole looked up at the sky, holding Jay very close and making sure he was ok. He was nearing tears himself.

"... Jay... can you answer a question for me?"

He didn't reply verbally, but clearly nodded.

"... when you told me about how you grew up... you told me... that something happened."

Another nod, though, less distinguishable this time.

He didn't want to say it, because he knew what the answer would be, no matter how much he didn't like it.

It had been on the back of Cole's mind for a while now, jumping out and demanding answers at the most inconvenient of times.

He didn't want to say it, knowing it had a high possibility of upsetting Jay, which wasn't a good idea consider how upset he already was. But... he had to know. He had to get it out.

His mouth grew very dry, and he held Jay closer.

"... you... you tried to kill yourself, didn't you." He whispered.

No response.

"... please... just nod or shake..."

Jay hesitated, but forced himself to give Cole a little nod. Small, but, it was there.

"... please don't ever do it again... please..."

"... I won't... I promised myself... I'd never try it again... I could never do that to my parents again..."

Cole fought back his own tears, and breathed deeply.

"I'll always be here for you, Jay..."

In that moment, Jay had no doubts that he was telling the truth. The absolute sincerity in his voice was so raw and real that... there wasn't a single second thought. Jay knew that he had a friend he could count on.

It meant the world to him.

"... thank you..."

Cole smiled, and pulled away from the hug.

"You should try to get to bed, you're gonna be exhausted."

"... surely it isn't that late?"

"It's about quarter to ten, you know..."

Cole laughed at the surprise on his face.

"Well done Bluebell, excellent timekeeping."

"Hey..." he smiled, rubbing his eyes, "I'm tired, gimme a break..."

"I'll escort you inside, it's getting really dark out here and, I should head to bed too. Is Lloyd not asleep yet?"

"He wasn't there when I got up to come and find you, but he might be there now? I, I don't know."

Jay kept trying to rub his eyes, to get rid of the redness and dried tears that gave away his breakdown on deck, Cole passed him a spare tissue he had in a pocket on his tracksuit bottoms.

They started to head inside, and as they did, the wind started up again, hurrying them inside the warmth of the building.

"Oh, in case you were wondering, your box of stuff, I took it upon myself to hide it again, so, Kai doesn't go snooping. I was gonna tell you sooner but, being honest, I completely forgot."

"... oh... I... thank you! I... god I completely forgot about it as well!"

"It's alright. I shoved it under my bunk, and, I think it'll be safe there for now. Kai won't go looking for it there at any rate, unless you wanna move it?"

"... can I keep it there for now? Is that ok?"

"Of course. It's not like I was using the space under there for anything anyway."

"Thank you Cole... honestly, I mean it."

They reached the crossroads on the corridors where they had to part ways, and Cole gave Jay one last tight hug, before bidding him good night and heading to bed himself.

Jay turned and went to Lloyd's room himself, and realised halfway that he still had the hoodie around his shoulders.

Part of him said to go and give it back straight away, but... another said that it would be rude to disturb him again, especially as he might already be getting ready to go to sleep.

He decided that he'd give it back in the morning, and carried on his route.

Lloyd was indeed in the room when Jay got back, seemingly asleep, so Jay got ready for bed as quietly as he could, and made a point to slip off his binder as well.

Sleep was surprisingly easy to achieve, considering how much he was struggling earlier. Just a few minutes of casual thought before he drifted off into the aether of dreams, content and restful.

Completely by chance, Jay had carefully dumped Cole's hoodie somewhere near his bed, and as his body caught up on much needed rest, it worked its way into his hand again.

The next day, he woke up very embarrassed and gave it back to Cole as soon as he saw him.

Neither of them talked about their conversation on the deck, but it was ripe in both their minds. Jay's especially.

It was reassuring, to have a genuine ally.

It was reassuring, to have Cole.