"... I always knew that I wasn't a girl... and from the moment I understood my body... I was begging... for it to be different.

I think I was four or five when I first told my mum. She wasn't unsupportive or anything... she just... didn't understand.

I told her I wasn't a girl. I told her I didn't understand why my body was... like it was.

She thought I was playing around. Having fun.

She dismissed me."

---

"Ma? Ma? Why does Pa say I'm his little girl?"

"Oh Sophie sweetheart, it's because you are! You're our baby girl, and we love you."

"... I'm not a girl... am I? Am I Ma? I'm not..."

"C'mere you silly sausage... you'll always be my little Sophie. Even when you're all grown up..."

"... but I'm not a girl... I... I don't wanna be like this..."

"Come on Sophie, the joke's over. Let's get you back inside. It's getting dark..."

---

"... after that, I didn't have the courage to talk about it again. I was so afraid that I'd just be brushed aside like the first time, so... I tried to ignore my feelings.

I kept telling myself that I was a normal girl. That I didn't mind being called... S... Sophie. And... that I liked my body as it was.

I kept it up for years... till I was about 12.

Makeup, long hair, dresses. Everything typically feminine that I could get my hands on.

It didn't work.

I broke down one day. I cut my hair short with a blunt pair of scissors, and my parents were sort of horrified. I'd been growing it for so long... I said I wanted to grow it forever and never cut it but... in the space of five minutes, most of it was scattered across the bathroom floor."

---

"Sophie! What did you do?!"

"I HATE ALL THIS, I HATE IT I HATE IT I CAN'T STAND ALL THIS STUPID GIRLY STUFF! I HATE IT!"

"Oh Sophie... it's alright. You don't have to like traditionally girly things... have you been doing all this to make us happy?"

---

"I didn't tell them the truth. That I had finally accepted that my feelings wouldn't go away, although I didn't even know what it was yet. I felt like a freak... so... I just played along..."

---

"... I... I thought you wanted a normal girl... Ma..."

"No no no! There's no such thing as a 'normal' girl! We love you no matter what sweetie! Whether you like pink frilly stuff or more... boyish things. You didn't do too well with your hair... do you want me to neaten it up for you?"

---

"They meant well. Had I just been a girl who didn't like feminine things... they would have handled the situation perfectly. But... I was a closeted boy stuck in a girl's body... and no amount of jeans and hoodies and short haircuts could make me feel better about that.

I maintained my pixie cut, I never wore anything with a single frill every again, and I stopped shaving. I got very interested in engineering, and I spent hours with my dad learning all about it. I thought that... maybe that was all I wanted.

Then... a few months passed... and it was obvious that it was not.

I couldn't take it anymore. All the dysphoria, the self hatred, the knowledge that my body would always be biologically female drove me round the bend and I... I...

I...

Something happened. My parents were terrified... scared to the extremes that they'd lose their only child... they took me to the hospital as soon as they found me and... the doctors saved me.

I remember my dad's face when I woke up. Mum had gone away to talk to the doctor about something, and... dad stayed with me. To keep an eye on me.

I remember his face.

He was... crying. And... he hardly ever cries. He looked so heartbroken and guilty... and when Mum came back she looked exactly the same... and I promised myself... I'd never do that ever again. I couldn't put them through that.

It wasn't fair to the parents who had tried their best.

I came out after that. I ended up sobbing into mum's shoulder after she asked me why I'd done it..."

---

"I... I-I've tried to tell you! I'm not a girl! I'm not! And I hate it! I hate that I'm like this! My body is all wrong and I can't fix it!"

---

"It turned out... the doctor listened in. She knew exactly what condition I had, so took my parents to the side, and explained what the word Transgender meant. They didn't really understand at first, but they were so supportive after that.

To be honest, I didn't even know what it was till she told me. The only education I had was the books I could salvage from the scrap yard, and as you can imagine, there weren't any specialising in trans issues.

It just... felt so amazing, to know that what I had been feeling my whole life was... real. An actual thing.

Something that had a name...

I was so so pleased... that I wasn't just some freak with a messed up head.

I went through testing after that. It took months. They wanted to make sure that I actually was trans, and my parents weren't forcing it into me. Can you believe that? Yes, maybe once in a blue moon a parent will force their kid to be 'trans' because they wanted a boy or a girl and got the opposite. But... it's just not common. They asked all these stupid things, like if they bathed with me when I was a baby. Why would that effect me at all? I don't care what my parents have in their pants?! But we had to do it... and we got through it. I was put on hormone blockers, then after that... testosterone.

But even that couldn't fix what puberty had done to me already. I started my period when I was eleven. Unlucky, huh? Testosterone helped with the fat distribution, and my voice broke and got way lower. It doesn't get rid of breasts though. I have to bind, almost constantly.

I... I haven't taken my binder off for quite a while, actually. It's really bad... I could be permanently damaging my ribs but, I couldn't risk Nya seeing.

Back to the story... that all happened.

Then... I came to choosing a name.

If I was going to live as boy... I couldn't keep going by such a girly name.. I really needed a new one. I couldn't use my old one, which I absolutely hated. I still hate it.

... and by that I don't mean I hate the name. It's a lovely name, really... but... I hated it on myself. It was just that it was a feminine name... I really wanted a new one.

Many names... I went through hundreds. Hours and hours pouring through various websites of baby names for boys.

There were a lot of options... a hell of a lot. Despite the amount... Jay stuck out to me. It sounded right... it sounded like me...

So I chose Jay.

It took my parents a while to get used to it, but as you've seen, they're accustomed now.

That's... pretty much it. Honestly, not very dramatic. Not what the media paints it as.

It was traumatic when I was younger, but... it was... anticlimactic. I built up a fear of being rejected by my parents my entire life, and it turned out, they didn't care what my gender was. They loved me no matter what.

A couple more years passed, and Sensei Wu found me, told me I was the Master of Lightning. That really was a crazy day, huh?

After talking to my parents about it, and after they gave consent, I went with him. Even Sensei doesn't know about my... situation. I never told him.

Anyway... he gave me the education I had missed out on, or where my parents couldn't fill in. Maths, Language, all that stuff. I am very grateful for what he did for me... and then of course, I met you and Zane, and we started our Ninja training.

You can probably fill in the story from there, yourself..."

Cole was silent for a number of moments. After such as expanse of new information to process, his ability to form sentences was temporarily disabled.

"... Cole?" Jay asked, looking up from his sheets at last.

"I... I don't know what to say, Jay. Just... thank god your parents were accepting."

"I'm very lucky that I do have them for parents. I know that a lot of other trans people can't even come out, because their parents would disown them without a second thought. Disgusting, isn't it."

Cole massaged his temples, trying very hard to formulate words.

"... is there anything I missed out? Any questions left unanswered?"

"... yeah... there is one." he replied, looking up and meeting Jay's sapphire orbs with his own hazel ones.

"... by... 'Something happened'... do you... do you mean what I think you mean?"

Jay bit his lip and shrugged.

"... t-that's the one thing I'm not really comfortable talking about... actually..."

"... oh... alright."

"... anything else?"

"No, I don't think so. I just... ugh. I don't know what to do Jay. I don't know how to help you."

"Honestly, what you're already doing is perfect. You're being supportive, and understanding, and you're listening. That's the best I could ask from somebody."

Cole sighed, then smiled.

"Hey. C'mere bluebell." He spoke, leaning in for a tight hug. Jay happily accepted.

"Oh Jesus, you could probably crush me if you wanted to." Jay chuckled, wondering how Cole was still so ripped after not working out for months now.

The black ninja was the one who pulled away, then yawning and stretched his arms.

"... I'll stay here with you till Zane and that lot get back. He really wants to know what's been going on, if that's ok."

"That's fine. And, thank you."

They chatted like the brothers they always had been. Jokes, laughter, and the occasional splash of seriousness.

Cole, really didn't care that Jay was trans. All he cared about was making sure he was safe and happy.

Jay was so glad that Cole didn't care that he was trans. It was calming, and it made him feel safe, to have someone who would always be there for him - through thick and thin - no matter what.

Cole really was a good friend.