Universe: G1
Characters: Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, Wheeljack, Ratchet, and more.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Transformers foul langauge
Plot: It started out as a simple prank...amazing how the Ark is brought together out of drastic fear of the two highest commanding officers unholy wrath.

Think I'm overreacting?

Letting Blaster demonstrate below,

12

Any wise person would not decide to cause any trouble while your leader strictly orders it in his absence. However, any risky person would see this as a perfect opportunity to get away with trouble as the main obstacle on a regular day would be gone. Two obstacles to be exact. Optimus Prime and Prowl, the Commanding Officer and the Second in Command. Two people you really don't want to screw with. They had complete control on what to do with you if you messed up. In simpler terms, your life is left in the merciful hands of two people known for, when poked correctly, having the sickest of tempers when one of their comrades is messed with. Although considering who the risky person is, he doesn't really care.

Continuing with the point, said risky person did also have other general concerns to worry about. For example, the Third in Command. Again though, in this situation, the Third in Command is more likely to be the risky person and cause deep trouble for himself than a regular soldier. But there is also, The Weapons Specialist. Now that was a guy you never wanted to screw around with because, hence the title, had access to every weapon on base. Including unfinished ones. And then there's the Chief Medical Officer. In a typical army, no one would be quite concerned about what he would do if you made trouble. Of course, there would be the occasional nagging of "you're an idiot", but nothing too worrisome. However, since this is no typical army, considering they could act worse than the Decepticons sometimes, the Chief Medical Officer was feared. Very feared.

For good reason.

We'll just keep it at that. And now lastly, the Security Officer. He is the one that oversees everything. Anything he finds wrong, he reports it. And guess where that report goes to? The Second in Command. Well...in a typical army it would go to the Third in Command but we have already discussed that this is definitely not one. Because the Third in Command is Jazz. And Jazz would rather let that report sit on his desk until the Security Officer forgot about it and then slam-dunked that report in the trash. And the Second in Command knew that. So it did not go to Jazz, it went to him.

There was also the Head of the Science Department but that's a waste of time to even discuss. His lab was almost equally feared as the CMO's medbay and that meant no one dared go near. So Wheeljack never really saw over any mechs that caused trouble. If he did, he probably wouldn't know what to do.

So in conclusion, the only real people he had to concern himself with were Ironhide, Ratchet, and maybe Red Alert. All of these people were problems when the risky person wanted to pull a prank when Optimus Prime and Prowl were gone. But let's face it, the risky person is named "the risky person" because he's arrogant, action-seeking, a prankster, and that's Sideswipe. And Sideswipe didn't give a slag cause he did these things on a daily basis. However...his pranks usually didn't backfire. When they did, it surprised him and he did his best to fix it. Hopefully, he can fix this in time...but if he did, you wouldn't be reading this would you?

So now, Sideswipe was doing what exactly the risky person should not do. A prank when Optimus Prime instinctively told him not to do while he was gone. Whether it was because he didn't hear him or that he did he just didn't care, he was doing it. Because no matter how much trouble he could be in, he had the excuse to end all frustration and consequences.

"I was bored."

He truly believed that could save him. Long enough anyway. Or at least make them lighten up the punishment because Sideswipe knew how they worked. Optimus Prime really did care about the team he ordered around. They were like a family to him and he wished to get to know them. And as much as a pain Sideswipe could be, he learned a few things Sideswipe couldn't help. Like stir trouble. Yes, it was fun and games but when it came down to it, Sideswipe just was plain energy. He had to burn it off somehow. He was built for action and when there was no action...you can see where that leads. Prowl knew it too but he was more strict about it. He knew Sideswipe couldn't help it but he was a grown mech, surely he could find other ways to be active without having the Ark almost split in two. But what fun would that be?

So here he was, the little devil tinkering away with something he shouldn't be. His golden brother keeping a look out. Sunstreaker didn't join on many pranks but he did see in the sense that it was, in fact, the perfect opportunity. Even though they had no idea what was to come.

"Are you almost done? You take any longer and I might see dust on my plating," Sunstreaker huffed. A black leg tried to kick at him but he easily stepped to the side.

"Quit whining. You think this is easy? There's almost fifty hundred wires in here tangled and I can't tell the difference," Sideswipe's muffled voice replied in frustration. Sunstreaker rolled his optics.

"You chose what the prank was." He snorted. Sideswipe attempted another unsuccessful kick.

"Which wire was it again?" Sideswipe asked as he shifted underneath the console. He was currently laying down on his backside. Half of his body inside Teletran as he tinkered. So far the only thing that worked was turning off Teletran. Technically, they didn't turn it off. Sunstreaker punched a nice hole in the screen and it short circuited. Now Sideswipe could put in his prank so when the handy dandy Wheeljack came to fix it, the prank would begin. That was the plan anyway. But...

"Slag if I know," Sunstreaker snorted. With this rate, the plan will probably never succeed. Sideswipe sighed.

"This isn't working. I'm just going to-." Sideswipe paused after he pulled a green wire out. It had suddenly got dark. Very dark. His headlights that were shining brightly from his chest almost didn't make him notice but how everything past the wires went dark... "Scrap. What happened?"

"You bolts for brains! You cut the main power line!" Sunstreaker snarled.

"Actually I ripped it out." Sideswipe corrected proudly. Sunstreaker grabbed his twin's legs and pulled him out from underneath. Sideswipe kicked in protest and then found a digit shoved into his face.

"Fix this," Sunstreaker growled.

"I don't know how!" Sideswipe snapped. "Think if I knew what all those fragging wires did we'd be done by now!" Sideswipe slapped away his brothers pointing finger.

::Sideswipe.:: A deep voice began on the comm. Sideswipe fell back on the ground with a groan. Great. Ratchet. Just what he needed right now.

::Yes, your Ratchetness?::

::Would the lights going out have anything to do with you?:: Ratchet asked calmly.

::Hm, don't believe so Ratch',:: He offered cheerfully. ::Can you ask Wheeljack to fix it though? Sunny and I were in a middle of game.:: Sideswipe lied smoothly. Sunstreaker stuck his chin up slightly.

::Oh, were you?::

::Uh, yeah?::

::No pranks?::

::No.::

::How thoughtful.:: Ratchet scoffed.

::Well as much as it is tempting, I don't want Prime on my aft after a long meeting with Prowl.:: Sideswipe told him.

::I bet you'd love it if I believed that,:: Ratchet snorted. ::But why don't I go down there and give it a look myself.::

::Because he's the Engineer...?:: He offered weakly.

::Yes. Yes he is.::

::Could you make sure he gets it done quick? And safely? I was beating Sunny too.::

::Was not.:: Sunstreaker snapped, hoping it sounded more convincing.

::Hm.:: Ratchet stressed. ::Sideswipe?::

::Yes?::

::If I find out you had anything to do with this, I will personally reformat you as a toaster and sell you online.::

Click.

"Great. Ratchet's suspicious." Sideswipe huffed as he picked himself off the floor. Sunstreaker almost laughed.

"No bro, you're as good as dead. He knows."

"Well, it's not like your entirely innocent either! You're helping me!" Sideswipe crossed his arms. Sunstreaker frowned.

"Keeping watch?"

"It's called an accomplice. You think Bluestreak got off the hook with that excuse? Think again," Sideswipe smirked. "He only got a lesser punishment because he's Blue for Primus's sake." Sunstreaker glared in defeat. Now he was stuck in this with him. The same person that got them into this mess in the first place. How could this turn into anything good?

"So now what, genius? Wheeljack is on his way, not guaranteed to be alone." Sunstreaker snipped with annoyance. Sideswipe placed his servos on his hips confidently.

"You'll see."

...

Sunstreaker, did not, in fact, see. He heard. Wheeljack thankfully came alone. The only way they knew was because Wheeljack audio fins lit up when he was talking. And he was talking. A lot. Which was concerning since he thought he was alone. Wheeljack was fixing the power box installed inside Teletran. The box Sideswipe thought was for the audio and comm system. Earning a death glare in the dark and a nice punch in the side from Sunstreaker, Sideswipe had learned quickly that was not indeed the audio or comm system.

Sunstreaker and Sideswipe went further behind the corner as the lights came back on. Sideswipe did a fist bump of victory quietly. Although, that victory was cut short. As Wheeljack was also excited. He got ready to get out but the poor mech forgot half his body was still inside Teletran, and his helm hit all the working wires underneath.

His body fell with a thud.

"Uh, what's wrong with Jacky?" Sideswipe asked.

"I don't know. Maybe you should check it out," Sunstreaker said and shoved him forward out into the open. Sideswipe whipped a glare at him and then with a sigh, went over to the, what seemed to be, unconscious Wheeljack. Sideswipe kneeled down and shook his leg.

"Uh, Wheeljack? You okay, man?" He asked. He didn't receive a response. Sideswipe grabbed his legs and pulled him out from underneath. His helm wore a nice thick cloud of smoke and his optics were shut. Sideswipe turned his face to his hidden brother who poked his helm out to see. "He's out."

"Great. Now what?" Sunstreaker growled in growing annoyance.

"Well, we can't take him to Ratchet. Then he'll kill us for sure. Maybe Hoist knows what to do with him." Sideswipe shrugged.

"Hoist is out driving with Beachcomber. Try again." Sunstreaker said as he walked over and stared down at him.

"Well, not First Aid! He'll tell Ratchet the second he sees him! And Jolt...well he never leaves that medbay," Sideswipe's jaw went firm as he thought. "I think...I think we're gonna have to try to wake him ourselves."

"And make things worse? No. Let's go to Jazz, he'll know what to do." Sunstreaker nodded. Sideswipe sighed.

"Alright. Jazz it is," Sideswipe stood from his kneeling position and hooked his arms under Wheeljacks. "Grab his legs and let's get out of here." Sunstreaker grabbed his legs and hauled them up and then the two scampered away as fast as they could to Jazz's office.

...

So Jazz wasn't in there. No big surprise. He's never in his office. But that was also the point. Jazz was in the rec room and they couldn't take an unconscious Wheeljack there. Unless they wanted death. And at the moment they were trying to cheat death through Jazz.

Jazz was commed and he immediately came to his office. And the twins were not pleased with Jazz's first response.

"Ya really screwed ya selves over dis time." Jazz gave a cheeky grin. The twins glared.

"Yeah well, now you're involved. We can't let Ratchet know cause then-."

"He'll ask why ya were there and catch ya. Yeah ah got it." Jazz nodded and strode over to Wheeljack. The twins backed up and let him examine.  "Well ah ain't no medic but if ah bot gets knocked out from electricity he ain't wakin' for hours." Jazz shrugged. Sideswipe groaned.

"Great," Sideswipe ran a servo down his face. "We can't hide him forever. Ratch' will notice. Or Perceptor. Whichever first." Jazz stroked his chin thoughtfully.

"Why don't ya just put em back where he was? Let Ratch' find em." Jazz offered.

"Can't. Then he'll see the giant hole Sunny punched into the screen." Jazz stifled a laugh at that.

"Ya punched ah hole in Teletran? Yeah, ya dead mechs." Jazz shook his helm. "What were ya tryin' to accomplish anyway?" He asked with a smug smile.

"Not the point." Sunstreaker snapped.

"I'm serious about this, Jazz. I don't know when Prime and Prowl are coming back and I can't be caught like this. Prime would skin me alive then throw me at the hands of Prowl." Sideswipe worriedly spoke as he grabbed his horns.

Jazz raised his servos defensively.

"Okay, okay." After a moment Jazz finally snapped his fingers. "Why not take em to his lab and put em there?" Jazz asked. The twins exchanged a look.

"That could work. But we can't let Perceptor see us." Sideswipe nodded slowly. Eager for anything because he was getting desperate.

"Alright let's go for it mechs," Jazz nodded and opened the door. The twins grabbed Wheeljack and started their way out. Jazz followed them close behind. They almost dropped Wheeljack as they heard a scream.

"Scrap." The three mechs spoke in unison. 

That didn't stop the poor mech from screaming. 

"It's not what it looks like!"

"You killed Wheeljack!" 

"No, he's just unconscious!"

"How can I believe you?!"

"Bee, would we really kill Wheeljack?" Sideswipe gave a deadpan look. Bumblebee shifted and shook his helm. 

"No...but why's he like that?!" Bumblebee protested, a look of horror spread across his face. 

"He just electrocuted himself, that's all," Sunstreaker told him calmly.

"Oh...then what are you guys doing with him?" Bumblebee asked with a frown. 

"We're-."

"Bee? You okay? I heard screaming and-WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE ALLSPARK!?"

"Mechs?" Jazz smirked. He earned a squeak. "Run." 

And that they did. They dropped Wheeljack and made a run for it, a fuming Ironhide chasing them. Bumblebee walked over and looked down at Wheeljack then back up at Jazz. Jazz sighed. 

"I'll explain." Jazz reassured. "After we stop Ironhide from killin' them." Jazz snorted. "Mind helpin' me move him back into my office?"

Bumblebee nodded uncertainly.

...

After successfully hiding Wheeljack in his office, Jazz made a sprint to find the three. As funny as it would be, Ironhide could compromise the whole thing. Ironhide could also kill the twins cause he thought they killed Wheeljack. And the base needed the twins. And Jazz didn't really want to explain what happened to Optimus or Prowl. Eventually though, Jazz had caught up to them. Ironhide Sideswipe in a choke hold and Sunstreaker, although very dented, was trying to pull him off.

"Ironhide!"

"What!?"

"Let go of em! He ain't killed no body!" Jazz put his servos on his hips.

"You expect me to believe ye?" Ironhide snarled. Sideswipe was kicking and grabbing at Ironhide large arm.

"Don't make meh pull it." Jazz rose an optic ridge. Ironhide looked up with confusion.

"Pull what?"

"As Third of Command of the Autobot Army ah order ya to release Sideswipe." Jazz said firmly. The three mechs gawked at him. And the panting Bumblebee who finally caught up was starting to open his jaw in surprise.

Jazz never pulled rank.

Ironhide had to believe it was serious then. He released Sideswipe none too gently. Sideswipe grabbed his throat and wheezed. Ironhide frowned.

"So ye gonna explain to me what the pit is going on here?!" Ironhide crossed his arms. Jazz looked to the twins.

"Twins, ah think ya got some explaining to do." Ironhide and Bumblebee looked toward them and Sideswipe shrunk slightly.

"Hehe...so it's actually a funny story," he began.

...

So the five of them ran back to Jazz's office and grabbed Wheeljack. They hurried to his lab and Jazz managed to hack in. They hid underneath some tables and saw Perceptor working. He was mixing a few chemicals but they didn't really bother themselves too much. Perceptor was busy and that's what mattered. The twins tip toed over to the left corner near the entrance with Wheeljack. Jazz gave silent orders as this was his specialty after all. Bumblebee kept an eye on Perceptor even though he was told Perceptor would never look. The twins eased Wheeljack down. However, the doors opened and they panicked. Sideswipes hand slipped but he managed to swipe Wheeljacks audio fins just in time before it hit the ground. They group silently cursed and shrunk down, hoping to not be seen. Jazz felt his optics widen behind his visor as he saw the visitors.

"Aw, lugnuts." Ironhide grumbled.

The visitors were none other than the Dinobots. A small group of the Autobots that were very close to Wheeljack. And when the Dinobots wanted to be, they could be very, very, very intimidating and vicious. Mainly Grimlock.

Bumblebee whimpered slightly.

This was not according to the plan. Jazz wanted to facepalm. How could he not think of this?

"Oh hello, Grimlock. What are you bots doing here?" Perceptor voice greeted.

"Me Grimlock look for him Wheeljack. Me Grimlock no see him Wheeljack today." Grimlocks gruff voice echoed.

"Last I heard, he went to fix the lights." Perceptor told him.

"But lights fixed. Where him Wheeljack?" Grimlock asked.

"I don't know, Grimlock. You'll have to wait." He said. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker had been paying so much attention to their new fear that they didn't notice their servos were slipping. And Wheeljack fell from their grasp.

A loud thud echoed throughout the room.

Jazz facepalmed.

Grimlock and his brothers looked toward the source. Perceptor optics widened and he threw his jar of chemicals in shock.

"What you do to him Wheeljack!?" Grimlock roared.

"It's not what it looks like! He just-." Sideswipe stopped as he saw it was no use. This was Grimlock were talking about. He wouldn't understand. Especially right now, he was too peeved. The Dinobots transformed and Grimlock roared his massive fire. Luckily, the other three mechs involved were safely hidden from sight but the two mechs saw their life flash before their eyes. And they ran.

Again.

They went through the labs doors and outside. The Dinobots chasing after.

"I think we're gonna have to get Ratchet..." Bumblebee said in concern for the twins.

"Let's get Percy over there on our side first." Jazz said as he stood up. "Hey Perceptor, this is all just one big misunderstanding and-." Perceptor merely fell backwards and hit the ground. Ironhide stood and ran over to him. Bumblebee cautiously poked his helm out from the hiding spot as he watched.

"Is he okay?"

"He glitched." Ironhide said as he knelt down with a grunt. "What's this liquid he's laying in?" He asked. Jazz made his way over and peered down at the red and yellow liquid. Jazz's optics widened.

"Don't touch it! Ah think that's..." Jazz looked to the glasses of beakers on the table. He peered close and shook his helm. "It's Nitric Acid. It's burning him! We need to get him out of that and-."

"I'm calling Ratchet and that's final!" Ironhide bellowed and opened his comm.

...

Red Alert watched with wide shock eyes at the security office.

"Why aren't we doing anything!?" He asked grabbed the red mech near him. Inferno sighed and patted his friends helm.

"He's got this under control. Right?" He asked. From the other side of Red Alert sat Ratchet with a smug grin. His pedes were propped up on the desk and he was watching the feed with glee.

"Yes. I do."

"You call not doing anything, under control?" Red Alert snapped. He gestured to the feed where Sideswipe was currently hanging from Swoops jaws and Sunstreaker was almost burnt to a crisp from Grimlock and Scorn. And yet the golden warrior was still running.

"I'm teaching them a lesson." Ratchet smiled. He knew when exactly Optimus and Prowl would be back. He had to fix some of this before they came back and got things from really getting out of hand.

"Remind never to get on your hit list.." Inferno muttered.

"Aren't you going to save them?"

"Eventually. But I really do need to go help Perceptor." Ratchet said and put his pedes down as he stood. "Thank you mechs," he nodded his helm as he left.

"Anytime." Inferno offered. Red Alert shuddered.

"I can't wait until Optimus returns." He said as he watch the feed with a terrified expression. Inferno rubbed his back with a sigh.

"It'll be okay, Red."

...

How Ratchet managed to get everyone involved into his medbay seemed to be a miracle. Bumblebee would have laughed how Grimlock pouted like a puppy when Ratchet yelled for him to drop 'it' meaning drop Sunstreaker but this was very serious. Jazz and Ironhide had their arms covered in a protective covering as they carried Perceptor to medbay and Ratchet followed. Bumblebee stood by Ratchets side the whole time as he fixed Perceptor. First Aid and Jolt were working on the double with him. Ratchet would have kept the twins out longer but he was starting to get some complaints and confusion. Comments like,

::Ratchet? I know your like really the only guy in charge right now and second to Wheeljack, they're your Dinobots but...why did I just see Sideswipe and Sunstreaker running for their lives from the Dinobots?:: That one came from Bluestreak.

::I don't know if you paid them or what but props to you Ratchet, I've never seen them run that fast.:: that came from Cliffjumper.

That was definitely not what he needed so he brought the Dinobots in finally and stopped them from tearing the twins apart. Sunstreaker was scorched and dented while Sideswipe had several claw marks from a very proud Swoop. They sat off to the side, waiting to be treated with aching curcuits and plating. The medbay doors were shut and locked as the Dinobots had developed a crowd. Mechs were trying to see inside to see what was going on Sideswipe was really having enough. Although it wasn't him that snapped.

::GET AWAY FROM MY DOORS THIS INSTANT OR I'LL DISMANTLE ALL OF YOU!!:: Ratchet shouted in pure anger. :: DO YOU REALIZE THE MESS I HAVE TO CLEAN UP HERE!?:: He bellowed. His helm whipped toward the twins and gave them piecering glare with those bright blue optics of his. Bumblebee, who stood close to Ratchet, took a good step back. ::And you two will NOT be seeing the light of day until Prime gets-.::

::You were involved too Ratchet. I'm gonna have to show this feed to Prowl...and well...it shows you coming here and-.::

::Red? Shut it.:: Ratchet snapped.

"You were at the security office watching!?" Sideswipe chimed in pure disbelief and anger.

"Don't you even start! You made this happen!" Ratchet snarled as he grabbed his wrench carefully. He waved it warningly at the red pit spawn. "If you could have not messed with anything today, none of this would have happened!!"

"Me!?"

"Yes you!" Ratchet growled. "All because you were feeling risky today weren't you!?" Ratchet smacked his helm with the wrench as he scolded him. "Optimus Prime and Prowl are coming back from their meeting and will be back in one earth hour! You have that much time to fix all the damage the Dinobots did! And I have one hour to fix Perceptor and the pair of you! Are you pleased now? Did you fufil your need of ANNOYING THE SCRAP OUT OF ME TODAY!?" Ratchet whacked him one more time for good measure and stormed back to Perceptor. Sideswipe rubbed his new dent with a glare.

"No," he answered childishly. He hung his helm and leaned back into his seat with a wince. He hadn't really meant this to happen. It was just a simple prank and look where it got him. Sideswipe sighed. He was in deep slag this time. Maybe Prowl would finally have his end and court martial him. Or Optimus will finally kill him for his trouble.

::Um, Ratchet?:: then an idea struck.

::What!?:: Ratchet snapped.

"Hey, Ratchet! You don't want to get caught as much as I do, right?" Sideswipe offered.

"What are you implying?" He snarled impatiently.

"Just destroy the tape! We'll fix up around base, have First Aid and Jolt fix him then bam! We're home free." Sideswipe grinned. As Sunstreaker tenderly looked at him with a look of pure astonishment he ground out,

"That's probably the best idea you made all day." Ratchet hummed.

"Fine. You two make sure he stays stable," he pointed at the medics. He then looked at the twins. "Work fast. I'll be back." He said as he headed to the Security office. The twins stood with a groan of pain and agnoy before retreating out the doors.

...

"It's nice to be back at base, wouldn't you say Prowl?" Optimus asked as he rolled his stiff shoulders. Prowl offered a curt nod of agreement. The two coming close to the crashed Ark in the mountian.

"Yes sir. Although I do have to return to my work." He sighed lightly.

"Why don't you take the rest of the day off?" Optimus asked kindly. Prowl shook his helm.

"I couldn't. Someone has to do it and the faster it gets done, the less there is." Prowl said with a small shrug.

"Well alright...but I'm sure there is isn't much work for..." Optimus trailed off as he watched Ratchet chase Red Alert down the hall.

"You can't erase tapes!! It isn't right!!" Red Alert cried over his shoulder, a black tape box in his servo.

"Give that slagging tape, now!!!" Ratchet shouted.

"No!" He said defiantly as they rounded the corner. Jazz following pursuit with a camera and a cackle of laughter. Bumblebee not so far behind.

"Guys! Please! We can reason this out!" He tried in hope. Ironhide next to a broken Teletran as he tried to get the dang thing to work.

"Great Primus how hard did Sunshine hit ye!?"

Prowl and Optimus exchanged looks with a shared sigh. 

"No, Optimus. I believe I have lots of work waiting for me." Prowl muttered. Their helms turned to a wobbling Wheeljack as he held his helm. His optics traveling everywhere until he saw Optimus and Prowl.

"Oh hey guys!" He said cheerfully before he fell forward and onto his faceplates.