Ratch: Doing a medical exam every month will keep me updated on your positions. This way we can catch any problems early on. Who's first?

OP: I'll go.

Ratch: Sit down.

OP: *sits*

Ratch: *scans him*

Ratch: You look exhausted. Have you slept?

OP: No.

Ratch: Does this have anything to do with last night?

OP: My life is a train on fire with blown tracks that somehow continues to move I am going to stand outside at two in the morning and scream if I want to.

Ratch: Next.

Arcee: *sits down*

Arcee: *rotates shoulder* It hurts when I do this.

Ratch: then don't do that

Arcee: you know what

Ratch: Next.

*Bulk and Wheeljack walk over*

Ratch: Why two?

WJ: Threesome.

Bulk: *shoves*

Bulk: He's my moral support. Medical exams scare me.

Ratch: Well having both of you crammed in here is making me feel claustrophobic.

WJ: What does that mean?

Bulk: That he's afraid of Santa Claus.

Ratch: no-

WJ: HO HO HO!

Bulk: Stop it Wheeljack, you're scaring him!

Ratch: NEXT.

BB: *sits down*

BB: :I still can't talk.:

Ratch: I still can't help you.

BB: Figures.