Doubt or Faith?
After school, Raf met up with Aurora at the back of the school at the edge of the tree line so they had some privacy from prying eyes and ears.
"So Aurora, why were you distracted today? Did something happen?" Raf saw Aurora fidget in place, but didn't make eye contact. He sighed, and Aurora looked up quickly, seemingly really frightened.
"Aurora, what's wrong!?" Raf closed what little space they had between each other, and held her close. He felt her tremble ever so slightly.
"S-sorry Raf ... I ... I was just thinking over my day. It was a bit overwhelming ... at some points than others." Raf began rubbing her back.
"It's alright, Aurora. I'm here. Do you want to talk about it?" He waited for a moment for a reply. She didn't say a word, but nodded into Raf.
"Alright then," Raf shifted so that their back were toward a tree on the edge of the treeline facing away from the school, while Aurora gave a surprised yelp as she was seated on his lap, "I'm ready." Aurora sort of squirmed a bit until Raf started petting her, being very mindful of her horns. Aurora leaned back, cuddled onto Raf, and then sighed.
"Where do I start?" Raf thought for a second.
"How about when you woke up this morning." He felt Aurora stiffen. "It was one of the overwhelming times, am I right?" He received a nod.
"Aurora you don't-"
"It's fine, Kuya Raf," she paused, collecting herself for her unpleasant tale, "I woke up being frantic, and panicked. Last night, my dreams were Ate 'Cee's memories. Her emotions in them were extremely intense. I was overwhelmed with so much of her negative memories that I wanted to kill myself."
"What!?"
"Yeah, I thought you would say that. Ate's memories of watching those she cared about die before her eyes played as I slept. Her emotions were so extreme, and painful that I was overwhelmed. Her lost was so great, that if I think about it without realizing that these emotions were not mine, I would want to die. I lived through a lot of pain for four years. Adding to that is just too dangerous for my fragile mental state. Don't worry about it though. I just don't really try, and think about it much."
"If you have any problems with them you can always come, and talk to me about them. I may not be one who understands what it feels like, but I am here to listen to you for anything."
"I know. That's why I consider you my Kuya, Raf." Raf took a moment to think of what Kuya ment.
"You think of me as a brother." Aurora looked up at him in the eyes.
"Of course. You are my Kuya, Raf. You are probably the closest thing I have to a Kuya, other than Kuya 'Bee."
"Right, I sort of forgot that you lost your- never mind. I'm glad you think of me as your Kuya. But, is it true that you don't remember a thing before M.E.C.H.?" Aurora looked down at her lap, playing with her hands.
"Not a thing. I don't even know if I have any living relatives, much less my own name."
"What if I told you I can look into your past for you." Her head shot up.
"Really!? You would do that for me!?"
"Yeah! I would do anything for my little sister." Aurora was bouncing on Raf's lap.
"I always tried to remember my past, but couldn't. Not because I was too young, but because I was experimented on. It blocked all of my previous memories before being taken in by M.E.C.H."
"Well then, I'll try, and get as much information regarding your family. Your real family."
"Oh! But you are my family! Even if you're not blood related, you are apart of my family, nonetheless. Please, don't tell me you don't want to be my Kuya."
"What!? No! I want to be your Kuya."
"Then don't doubt the faith I have in you as my Kuya. I know you already have older siblings, and are a Kuya to them, but it doesn't mean you can't have one more!"
"Aurora, calm down, and think this over. I never doubt for a second of not being your family." Aurora thought for a moment, and stiffened.
"S-sorry, Kuya Raf. I was remembering a time I was at M.E.C.H., and had a similar conversation with someone."
"With who? What was it about?"
"200."
"200?"
"Oh, right! Test subject 200 of Project Aurora. When I was six, I met a 16 year old boy who was also a test subject. I told him he was my Kuya as well, but he doubt that I actual thought of him as one. He actually refused the title on my seventh birthday. I told him that I hate him, and that I wished he would died. I didn't want it to actually to happen, but they killed him that day. Gone ... I didn't even tell him goodbye." Tears streamed down her eyes. Raf turned Aurora around to face him, and wiped them away.
"Aurora, it's okay. I'm sure he knew you didn't mean it. If anything, 200 wants you to life."
"Why!?"
"To live the life he couldn't live to see. Every test subject wanted to escape that hell hole to live a normal life. If you lose sight in living, live for those who lost their lives to what you survived." Aurora looked lost, but nodded.
"I suppose you're right. Thanks Kuya. I needed this. I was beginning to doubt the reason I was allowed to live for so long."
"Have faith that you survived for a reason."
"Right. Thanks Kuya. I must go now." Aurora got up from Raf's lap, and started to walk back to school.
"Aurora, where are you going!?" Aurora used her C.L. ability to text Raf about the meeting she has with her teachers, and continued on her way.
Aurora's P. O. V.
I walk through the halls to Ms. Obsidian's room, where the meeting was to be hosted. I ignored the stares and whispers of the lingering students that were waiting for a ride, or waiting for their friend. I was surprised as I entered the room. Not only were my six teachers there, but also Cade, and in the corner was his fuming cousin, Zak Arias.
"Well hello there, Aurora. Glad you came. I'm sure you know who these two students are, right?" I nod.
"Of course, Ms. Obsidian. Mr. Barri Cade has the black hair, while is uncanny look-a-like cousin Mr. Arias Zak in the corner-"
"SEE! DEMON, I SAY!!!" Everyone in the room turned to glare at him.
"Mr. Arias, that is in no way-" I stopped Ms. Obsidian with my hand.
"It is alright, Ms. Obsidian, I don't mind."
"But-" I shook my head.
"He is one of the few that I can tolerate. Even if you see him as a problem, I see he has the will of understanding. Zak is just one who is good at hiding it. Right, Cade?" I look to Cade to see him nod.
"I didn't think you would have such faith in me, much less my cousin." I walked up, and took a seat next to Cade with his cousin on the other side.
"I have many faiths in this world, Barricade. Many doubts accompany those faiths, but I hold on till the very end. Some may say that I have foolish faith, but I know that faith is worth giving to those who just might surprise you," I chuckle, and give Cade a closed-eyed smile, "Much like you." I look to see Cade's face turn red.
"I see," I look to Mr. Titan, my english teacher, "then would you like to start this meeting?" I nod.
"However, you know as well as I do, that my situation as well as these meeting might never really come to an end. We as a whole can only resolve the problems that may arise." I look to everyone in the room. Mr. Scripps, my history teacher, nods.
"Indeed. You are correct, Aurora, but we are here to help you through the school. Not just for academics, but also social problems. With bullying, and such."
"Also if you need someone to talk to." I look to Ms. Davis, my science teacher, and Ms. Obsidian, my homeroom teacher, nod their heads in unison.
"It would also seem that you have at least a few students that are there to help you out as much as we are." I hear Ms. Harmony, my math teacher, say. I nod in agreement.
"In a way, yes there are those who actually got to know me before judging me, and I have faith they will be there for me if need be, but I won't allow that to happen." I look to Mr. Titan, knowing he would be the first to respond.
"I see. You are by far the most wisest, and smartest student I have ever came across in my 25 years of teaching. Especially for someone at your age."
"I don't understand. Why would you have people willing to help you, but not accept their help?" I turn to Ms. Davis, and look her in the eye.
"You all know the way in which teens are in high school for your many years of experience as a teacher," I see Ms. Davis flinch at my words, but I continue, "that if a person is a target in society, they will also target those who they are close to them in order to isolate, and torture ..." I stopped. That was exactly like when I was four, and I lost everything. I stare down at my lap as the unbearable silence continued to smother me.
I jumped out of my chair as I felt a hand rub my wings. I looked to see Cade very startled at my fast movement. Or was it the feeling of my wing? I was most likely the latter of the two.
"W-what is that? U-under your jacket i-if I may ask?" I looked away, and gripped my sleeveless jacket. It isn't just Cade in the room, but also my close teachers and Zak. Wait, would I be able to show Cade? Most likely. I was suffocating in the silence.
"Sweetie, you don't have-"
"No. ... It's fine. I think ... that if you are going to help me, you might as well know the extent of experimentation done on me, but ... I have some doubt you will ever look at me the same. I have to ask that you do not let anyone know what you see." I slowly let my let my jacket fall slowly down my arms. I let it hit the floor then took off my gray long sleeve sweater, and let that too, fall to the floor, and spread my wings. I heard gasps all around the room. 'Wings!' and 'Purple stripes!?'escape their mouths. I held my left arm out of nervous habit when people look at my experimented form.
I felt Ate's awareness try and enter, but I put up a strong wall so she wouldn't enter my mind, or see this memory. I swiftly put my sweater and jacket back on, and head towards the door.
"I have to go. We can reschedule this meeting again, but I have to go." Before anyone could say a word, I was already out the door, and using my super human speed to get to the front. Then I pulled out my phone, and called Ratchet.
:Hello?:
:H-hey, Ratchet. Can y-you please come pick me up now. I'm done w-w-with the m-meeting: I tried my best to remain calm, but I failed completely.
:Aurora, what happened!?: He sounded very worried again. Just like earlier.
:N-nothing, but if you don't want to pick me up, I will walk h-home-:
:NO!: I had to pull the phone away from my ear. I then started to feel a headache coming on, and it was really bad.
:Hey, Ratchet. I don't feel so good.: There was silence for a moment, then I heard Ratchet curse in Iaconian.
:Aurora, I will be right there. Stay put.: And with that, Ratchet hung up. I was getting very dizzy, so I sat down on the steps, and leaned my head on the rail to the stares. I let Ate's awareness in, and start to feel her panic. I heard the door to the front open, but didn't turn to see who it was.
"Aurora! Are you alright!? You're look very pale." I slowly looked up to see Cade looking frantic, and Zak looking scared.
"I-i'm f-f-fine. M-my g-g-guardian is c-coming to pick m-me up." I could feel my whole body shake a little.
"Cade, she looks like she is going into shock or something. We need to get her-" Ratchet pulled up, and Jack running up with Miko following right behind him. Jack runs, and pushes Cade and Zak out of the way.
"Get away from her!" I kicked Arcee's awareness out of my head, again, not wanting her to see this.
"No! S-stop, Jack! They're just concerned that's-" I tried to get up, but my legs gave out from under me. Luckily, I was caught by strong arms, and when I looked up, I was surprised to see Zak holding me.
"Are you alright, Aurora!?"
"T-thank you, Zak. Can y-you give m-me to Jack. I n-need to get h-home." Zak looked back to Cade, and got a nod.
"A-alright then." He picked me up like a baby, and carefully handed me over to Jack.
"T-thank y-you, both for w-worrying a-about me. I hope to see you two at s-school tomorrow." They hesitantly nodded.
"Please, Aurora. If you're not feeling well just rest. I don't want to see others targeting you when you aren't at peak condition." I was about to speak, but Cade spoke before me.
"Don't worry, Zak. If Aurora says she'll be fine, then she'll be fine. You may not see it, but Aurora is stronger than she looks. We'll see you tomorrow then, Aurora." With that, the boys turned, and reentered the school, while the Jack and Miko quickly entered Ratchet's alt. Mode.
"W-w-what's h-happening t-to me?"
"You generate a large, and constant amount of energon that we have to drain the excess amount every two days. You will get like this when you reach critical-"
"I'm ... sleepy ..." That's when everything goes black.
No P. O. V.
"Aurora? Aurora!? Ratchet, she's unconscious!" Miko begins panicking in the passenger seat, as Aurora begins to twitch in Jack's arms.
"Miko, calm down. You panicking isn't going to help Aurora. The faster we get to base the better we have a chance to have her back to normal." Jack said looking into Miko's eyes, calming her slightly.
"Well this would also mean Arcee is down for the count until we extract the excess energon from her system." Ratchet quickened his pace to reach the base faster.
-Optimus, I need you to get the five vacuum canisters ready. Aurora is already unconscious, and is going to start thrashing soon.- Ratchet commed.
-Understood, old friend. They will be ready once you get here.-
-How is Arcee?-
-She is sitting down, because of Aurora's pain. She will be alright though, and is just worried about Aurora.-
-ETA: two minutes.- Ratchet continued speeding to base, and through the tunnel. Once in the main area, he drifted to a stop, and let Miko and Jack exit his alt. mode. Ratchet quickly transformed, took Aurora from Jack, rushed into the medbay, and shut the door.
"Will Aurora be alright?" Raf asked as him, Bee, and Bulkhead watched the whole transaction.
"She will be fine, Raf. Not only can Aurora manipulate energon, but she also mass produces it so quickly that she will get into this condition if we do not drain the excess energon from her system every 48 hours. We didn't drain the excess energon in over 50 hours, however, and she goes into what you humans have deemed shock." Everyone turned to Optimus as he enters the main area with Arcee in his arms.
"Arcee, you'll be okay, right?"
"Y-yeah. ... I'll be fine, Jack. This only happens when Aurora is in pain. Luckily, I wasn't scouting or in a fight. Optimus, you can put me down now." Optimus hesitated before slowly putting Arcee on the floor.
"Thanks, Optimus. I'll be fine now. Aurora's pain is fading," Arcee turned to the kids, "so who was that guy with Barricade anyway?" All the kids had a confused look on their face.
"Arcee, who is Barricade?"
"Oh, right. His name is Cade Barri, but Aurora made that his nickname or something. Back on topic, who was with Cade?"
"His name is Zak Arias. I think he is-"
"Cade's cousin. So that's the other one." Arcee interrupted Raf.
"What are you talking about, Arcee?" Jack asked.
"Yeah, what do you mean by 'the other one'?" Bumblebee asked.
"Yeah, and how do you know Zak is Cade's cousin?" Miko asked.
"To put it simply, Aurora. Must I say more?"
"Uh, yeah. A simple answer being 'Aurora' doesn't cut it."
"Alright, Bulk. Aurora used her C.L. ability to look through the boy's phones before they tried to attack her. She got a lot of information from that one time as well as their track record of repeated offences. When I mean 'the other one' was that Aurora made friends with the two, although I'm highly against it. I don't want Aurora to put blind faith in those boys, to then have them turn on her when her guard is down."
"Do you not have faith in her, Arcee?" Everyone's head snapped to Raf's direction.
"What!?" Arcee was stunned by the question.
"Do you not have any faith in Aurora?" Arcee glared at Raf.
"Of course I do. Why would you-"
"Then you have to have faith in her decisions. Aurora is a very faithful person with many doubts, but stays faithful until there is no more hope for that faith. We talked before she went to her meeting, and called me her Kuya. I told her I would find out information about her past, and real family. That's when she voiced her doubt of me not wanting to be her Kuya, and her faith that I would be a good Kuya to her. I told I accepted the title, and that she was the one with doubts. Then she-"
"Mentioned a time in M.E.C.H. where she designated another as a Kuya," Arcee interrupted.
"Yeah." The room was filled with an apprehensive silence.
"So, what was that time about?" Everyone looked at Miko.
"Miko!" Bulkhead said.
"Come on, Raf, don't leave us in the dark here." Raf looked to Arcee for a moment, then Arcee sighed.
"200," Arcee said.
"200? I don't understand. What does a number-"
"Miko, Aurora didn't have a name while at M.E.C.H. She was addressed by a number. If I remember correctly, her number is 201." Arcee nodded.
"That is Aurora's middle name. All because of that project, Aurora was test subject 201. At the time, Aurora was six years old, 200 was a 16 year old boy. Aurora titled 200 as her Kuya, but he rejected her, and the title on her seventh birthday. In anger, Aurora yelled at him that she wished he would die. However, M.E.C.H. had conducted the same experiment Aurora went through, and-" Ratchet choose that moment to enter the room.
"Am I interrupting something?" He looked around to everyone, and stopped on Arcee.
"No, we were just finished with a little story. Since I'm proof that Aurora is okay now. Will Aurora be fine by tomorrow morning?" Ratchet paused, but reluctantly answered.
"Yes. She will be fine to go to school tomorrow. I just hope she won't run into trouble, but with her unique appearance, that would seem inevitable."
"Aurora will be fine. She made friends with two seniors. I believe that they will help her out."
"How do you know that, Arcee?" Bulkhead asked.
"Simply put, Cade and Zak were at the meeting, and both were also concerned about Aurora while she was going through shock. They will help her out. I don't know what Aurora did to get them to care about her, but it worked. I'm just worried about what actually happened at the meeting. Aurora blocked me from seeing what made her so upset, and locked the memory away, so I wouldn't see. I really don't like that at all."
"Don't worry, Arcee. We will look into it, but it's getting late," Jack said.
"Jack is right. It is time for the kids to go home." There was a hesitant silence that settled into the room.
"Come on, Bee. I don't want to get in trouble with my mom. See you guys tomorrow." Bumblebee transformed, and exited the base.
"Let's go, Miko."
"Ah, but Bulkhead I don't want to go back to my host parents. I want to-"
"Come on, Miko. We will have all the time once school is out again tomorrow." Bulkhead interrupted. Miko pouted for a moment until she nodded her head.
"Then we're going dune bashing, okay." Bulkhead transformed, and opened his door.
"Definitely!" With that, Miko ran into Bulkhead's alt. mode, and waved bye to everyone.
"Jack, let's-"
"Arcee, do you really think Zak and Cade will help Aurora?" Jack had everyone's attention. Arcee reluctantly answered.
"No, not at all. Not completely anyway. I can at least trust Cade to look out for her."
"What makes you have such faith in Cade?"
"Aurora. Aurora has immense faith in him. You never tried to get to know Cade like Aurora. Sure people may seem like jerks, but not all are, and Cade is one of them. Aurora also seems to believe Zak is also one of them. My question to you, Jackson Derby, is do you doubt Aurora's decision?" The silence was so thick you would have to cut it with a knife.
"Yes, I do. I have my doubts about those two. I just don't trust them, but I have faith in Aurora. I don't know. I think I'm just being overprotective of Aurora. Being an only child, I don't know what it feels like to have a sibling, but I feel like I need to protect her from anyone I don't really know." A smile graced not only Arcee's faceplate, but also Ratchet's and Optimus's faceplate as well.
"Jack, you need to have a little more faith in Aurora, and her decisions. She will make mistakes, but we will be there to help her along the way. We won't always be there to protect her, no matter how much we really want to. Let's go Jack. I don't want to keep your mother waiting." Arcee transformed, and Jack hopped on.
"Ratchet, please look after Aurora. I know you have better things to do, but she trusts you more than Optimus. She told you, already. See you later." With that, Arcee let the base.
Optimus looked over at Ratchet with a questioning gaze that made Ratchet sigh.
"Aurora compared you to Megatron, and this Silas character. They had power to change things for the better, but ended up being corrupted. Even with facts that you are a Prime, and the fact you wouldn't do things like that, the scars that marred her spark leave her to mistrust you. You will have to give her time to let old scars fade. It has only been two days since she escaped from her experimentation. It may take awhile, but I'm sure Aurora will trust you soon enough." Optimus nodded.
"I just hope it would happen now. Not to sound impatient old friend, but I do not want her to have no trust in me if the decepticons are to attack, while I needed to get her to safety."
"I pray to Primus that situation will never come to pass. However, you know that scars run deep in people. We just got to be patent. Anyway, I must go check on Aurora. Optimus, please get some recharge."
"Will do, old friend." With that they went their separate ways. When Ratchet entered the medbay, he saw Aurora hugging her knees with her head resting on them.
"Aurora, are you alright?" Aurora looked up at Ratchet.
"I'll be fine, Ratchet. I just," she took a deep breath, "I was recalling some memories within M.E.C.H. when I wasn't the only one there. There was 200 and me. In the end, however, 200 died from the same procedure that I survived from. I don't think it's fair that I was the one to survive. Me out of 201 people, I survived. What made me so special that I was allowed to live?" Ratchet was reluctant to answer.
"Well, your DNA for one," Aurora looked incredulously at Ratchet, but he continue, "your endurance another, and finally your heart. You had the strength to live on while others passed on after the procedure. You are resilient for that. You had taken the experience, and turned it around. You still are growing up. You have a lot ahead of you. Don't think surviving this trauma as a bad thing. Think of it as living for those who couldn't."
"Raf told me the same thing. To live for those who couldn't survive what I did."
"And he was right. Live your life to the fullest. They would have if they lived." Aurora shook her head.
"I our society, they would have been paranoid, due to experimentation. Those of older age would have broken down, all due to the fact that they were no longer normal. 200 told me so before. He said I was lucky that I was taken at a young age, so I don't know what being normal was like. 200 had to be restraint on multiple occasions, because he believed he was a monster. He knew he wouldn't fit in society after his experience. So your claim would mean otherwise." Ratchet was shocked for a moment, while Aurora rested her head on her knees once more. Ratchet sighed.
"Even so, Aurora. I'm glad you survived. If we had known of this experiment with our lifeblood, we would have immediately went, and stopped it." Ratchet tried to cheer her up, but she didn't move.
"But, if you would have stopped it, we wouldn't have met now would we." Aurora looked up, and smiled at Ratchet.
"I wish this never happened to me, but I'm also glad it did. I can't change the past, but I can keep building off of it." She yawned.
"I think you should go to sleep Aurora. You had a long day."
"I don't want to go to sleep!"
"And why not!?" Aurora was reluctant to answer.
"Ate's memories ... they bleed into my sleep. I'm afraid to sleep. When I woke up this morning, I wanted to ... to die. Her emotions, the pain, it was too intense. I'm afraid that I might try to end my life." Ratchet looked even more concerned, and thought heavily, until he came up with an idea.
"How would you like to sleep with me?"
"How?"
"You could sleep in my alt. mode cab. That way, when you wake up, I will be there to remind you that you are alright if Arcee's memories do enter your dreams." Aurora let that idea roll around in her mind for a bit.
"Are you sure you'll be okay with this?"
"I will do anything for you, Aurora. What has happened to you should have never happened, but if doing this will help you, then so be it." They stared at each other.
"Okay." Ratchet laid his servo for Aurora to climb on. He brought Aurora to hic chest, opened his cab compartment for Aurora to climb in, then closed it.
"Aurora, you comfortable in there?"
"Can we get my pillow and blanket? Then I'll be able to sleep, while you finish up your work."
"Alright." Ratchet went to Arcee's and Aurora's shared berthroom, retrieved Aurora's pillow and blanket, and gave it to her. Then he returned to the medbay to continue his work.
Aurora yawned, and started to doze off.
"Goodnight, Aurora."
"Goodnight ... daddy." Aurora replied sleepily, before sleep claimed her. This left Ratchet shocked.
He never would have thought Aurora would think of him that way. He sort of doubted Aurora thought of him as nothing other than an acquaintance of her sister. He should have more faith in Aurora to accept those that are close to her as family, and openly express it. Afterall, she wasn't raised in normal circumstances to know what a family is really like. Family would never bring such a youngling into a long war, and yet she still accepted them, even so. Much like they did for her.
A smile slowly grace his faceplate.
"Goodnight, sweet spark." Then he continued his work.
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