You don't need to be alone

I've been on the low
I been taking my time

You sat in the corner of your room, your knife shinning in the dim moonlight. The crimson blood shone brightly against the cold steel of the blade. You could hear the banging on your door.

I feel like I'm out of my mind
It feel like my life ain't mine
(Who can relate? Woo!)

"(Y/n)! Please! Let me in!" It was Jack. He knew what you were doing. And he had for a long time. It all started really when he had accidentally walked in on you self-harming inside of your room during Prom that year for him. Because Jack didn't have a date, he decided to come over to your house for the night.

You sobbed silently to yourself. Salty tears stained your face as you say by the window. It was so close...yet so far. For so long you had been wanting to open that window.

"(Y/n), please! Let me help!" Cried Jack, still pounding on your door. This only made the sobs coursing through your body become even more violent. "(Y/n), please don't make me call the Autobots. Just come out!"

I've been on the low
I been taking my time

The jagged edge of your knife dug into your skin, creating a new line to add to the hundreds of others that littered your arms and wrists. Blood slowly gushed out of the self-inflicted wound, a slowly moving trail of it winding across your arm and dripping onto the floor.

The sound of texting echoed throughout your house alongside your cries of pain and sadness. A static rang before he began talking.

"Optimus? Optimus! Bridge here, as fast as you can!" Yelled the black haired teenage boy. "It's an emergency!"

The window latch was only inches away from your empty hand. And hand that would hopefully be filled with grass and mud soon.

I feel like I'm out of my mind
It feel like my life ain't mine

The sound of a swirling vortex could be heard throughout the empty night. A bright blue and green postal opened not to far from your house. Loud, metallic steps could be heard miles away in the dead silence of the night.

You pushed your body as far as you could into the wall of your bedroom. Hissing again in pain, you dragged the blade of the knife slowly across the skin of your wrist, just missing the main artery in it.

I don't wanna be alive
I don't wanna be alive

You saw Optimus transform and activate his holoform, which ran out of his alt mode and towards the house. The sound of heavy boots trampling up your stairs bounced around the nearly empty house.

I just wanna die today
I just wanna die

They were almost at your door. 'It's now or never.' You opened the heavy window of your room and kicked the screening out of it. Your door fell down.

All this other shit I'm talkin' 'bout they think they know it

You grabbed your knife and jumped just as the Autobot's leader's holoform was about to reach you.

"NOO!" Yelled Jack. He looked out the window and saw something he was definitely not expecting to see. A groundbridge had opened up beneath where your window was.

I've been praying for somebody to save me, no ones heroic

You wound up inside of the Nemesis next to Soundwave. You shook your head, silently saying 'you should not have done that.'

The dark, seemingly endless halls of the Nemesis surrounded you, everything looking identical.

And my life don't even matter, I know it, I know it

You picked up your bloodied knife and began to make your way towards the medical bay. Soundwave nodded in approval before going back to monitoring the cameras if the Decepticon warship. He didn't know what you had in mind for the 'Con in the med bay.

You ran into a few Vehicons, none of which bothered to ask how you were doing or where you were going. They simply looked forward and strode on, not once sparing a glance at the worthless human aboard their ship.

I'm hurting deep inside but I can't show it, I never had a place to call my own

You at last stood in front of the Decepticon medical center. Slowly inhaling, you let out a breath you failed to realized you were holding and pressed the button. The door opened.

Knockout quickly glanced you over before picking you up.

I never had a home, ain't nobody callin' my phone

"(Y/n), what have I told you about these types of behaviors," scolded the cherry red mech. You didn't even notice the stinging of rubbing alcohol on your cuts as he patched you up.

"Where's Breakdown?" You finally ask. Knockout pauses his work momentarily, holding the bandages still.

"In his berth room, why?" He asks suspiciously, looking at you from the corner of his bright red optics as he checked over the bandage for any faults before wrapping it around your arm.

Where you been? Where you at? What's on your mind? They say every life is precious, but nobody care about mine

"Can I go see him?" You quietly ask, twirling with your fingers around and around while playing with your bloodied knife.

"Once I've finished wrapping up your wounds you may." He looks at you questioningly. "You're not going to try anything, are you?" He asks accusingly. Stealing th knife from your grasp, he gently takes the bladed weapon and puts it down on his workbench.

You shook your head. Knockout secured the end of you bandages. Picking you up, he began to make his way towards his partner's berth room.

I've been on the low
I been taking my time

Breakdown greeted us at the doorway to his room.

"Hi Knockout, hi (Y/n)," he said. He became uncomfortable when he saw the look in your dull, lifeless eyes that once shine just as bright if not brighter than any star could ever dream of being.

I feel like I'm out of my mind
It feel like my life ain't mine
(Who can relate? Woo!)

The cherry red medic passed you over to the blue ex-wrecker and went back to the medical bay.

He entered his berth room and shut the door, double checking to make sure he had locked it.

Breakdown sighed. "It hasn't gotten any better has it?" He sadly asked. The pair of tears falling from your face answered his question.

I've been on the low
I been taking my time

You shook your head in apology. "I'm sorry...I'm so so sorry Breakdown...I tried. I really did!" He vented loudly. "There's just nothing left for me anymore."

Breakdown nodded. "And you want me to hold up my end of the deal." You silently agreed, dipping your head.

I feel like I'm out of my mind
It feel like my life ain't mine

Breakdown shook his helm. "I can't. I understand, (Y/n), I truly do. But I can't. I care about you too much."

"If you truly care about me you would hold up your end of the deal. I gave it another six months." You felt more and more tears begin to form, begging to be released into the world.

I want you to be alive
I want you to be alive

He shook his helm. "There has to be something else we can do (Y/n)! There has to be!" Pleaded your friend.

"Please Breakdown." You looked him dead in his optic as you talked. "It's the quickest way to go. The least painful way. Do you believe that any of the others will allow me that?"

You don't gotta die today
You don't gotta die

"Are...are you sure? Is this what you truly want?" He asked. You were literally begging him to end your life now.

"Yes, Breakdown. Please. Believe me when I say there is nothing left for me here." Salty tears were now rushing down your face from your eyes like water in a waterfall. A single drop of optic coolant fell from his dim yellow optic. The other lay in millions of shards, blown up by a bomb in a trap for the Autobots set up by M.E.C.H.

I want you to be alive
I want you to be alive

He transformed his servo into his large battle hammer. Next time it went into battle though, it would be stained with human blood.

You don't gotta die
Now lemme tell you why

For the first time in weeks, months, perhaps even years, you smiled. "Thank you," you whispered to your friend, a Decepticon, the former wrecker known as Breakdown.

It's the very first breath
When your head's been drowning underwater

Another drop of coolant fell from Breakdown's optic. You leant your head against his forehelm.

"I'm ready," you whispered.

And it's the lightness in the air, When your there

The ex-wrecker and medic's assistant raised his hammer. Your life flashed before your eyes: your mother and father getting killed in a car accident, your older brother being murdered in front of you, being called a witch at school, being bullied and picked on, self-harming, looking out the window while waiting for death, meeting the Decepticons, becoming friends with Breakdown, making a promise with him.

Chest to chest with a lover
It's holding on, thought the road's long

He swung, and everything went black for you. A loud 'crunch' echoed across his room.

And seeing light in the darkest things
And when you stare at your reflection

You would never see the light of day again. He would never see your (e/c) eyes again, no matter if the were bright and lively, or dull and broken. You were gone. (Y/n) was nothing more than a pleasant memory those who remembered you.

Finally knowing who it is
I know you'll thank God you did

It had been one week. One week since you begged Breakdown to kill you, to put you out of your misery. One week since your knife was last touched. One week since Jack, Optimus, or any of the Autobots had seen (Y/n).

I know where you been, where you are, where you goin'

When word had gotten out by Megatron that (Y/n) had been killed by one of his own by her own wish, the Autobots were puzzled. They did not know why you ask them to kill you. You always seemed so happy and carefree. Maybe a little secretive, but that was normal. Everyone, including Ratchet, Ultra Magnus, and Wheeljack were all sad. You were the glue that kept them from fighting and held them together like the family they really were.

I know you're the reason I believe in life
What's the day without a little night?

Only Jack knew why you had asked to be killed. You were bullied and depressed. He never told anyone about it. It was the biggest mistake he had ever made and would be the biggest one he would make during his entire life.

I'm just tryna shed a little light
It can be hard

He spent hours at base sitting quietly, wondering why he never told anyone. You had told him not to tell anyone, but why hadn't he? Was it because he didn't want to anger you? Or was it because he wanted you to tell everyone else? Whatever it was, he regretted not telling anyone.

It can be so hard
But you gotta live right now
You got everything to give right now

I've been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I'm out of my mind
It feel like my life ain't mine
(Who can relate? Woo!)
I've been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I'm out of my mind
It feel like my life ain't mine

I finally wanna be alive
I finally wanna be alive
I don't wanna die today
I don't wanna die
I finally wanna be alive
I finally wanna be alive
I don't wanna die
I don't wanna die

Pain don't hurt the same, I know
The lane I travel feels alone
But I'm moving 'til my legs give out
And I see my tears melt in the snow
But I don't wanna cry
I don't wanna cry anymore
I wanna feel alive
I don't even wanna die anymore
Oh I don't wanna
I don't wanna
I don't even wanna die anymore

****************************

On a much sadder note, take a lesson or two from the oneshot. Don't ever consider suicide. Suicide never helps anyone in any way, shape, or form. It only makes things worse for those around you. Consider how it might affect others if you commit suicide. The name of the song is actually the suicide hotline number. There is always something to live for even if you don't know it at the time. If someone is self harming or talking about suicide, get help as soon as possible. They may be mad at you if they told you not to tell, but would
you rather have them mad at you, or have them dead? Suicide and self harming are very real problems in today's world. Please, before you think of doing anything, think about how it will affect you and the others around you. Friends, family, and even people you barley know get affected by it. So please, this is all I ask: don't commit suicide or resort to self-harm. There is always something to live for, wether you see it or not. I know I'm not much, but I'm willing to listen! If you have troubles, don't hesitate.

I don't own the song used. It belongs to its rightful owner(s).