I feel like I'm floating, no pain, no sorrow or fear. I run across a huge field full of the most beautiful flowers. The grass tickles my feet and legs as I look over the beautiful view. We are high in the mountains, in the middle of nowhere. The sky is bright blue without clouds, just the sun shining. Behind me, I hear my mother calling me. 

"Cira, are you coming?" I turn and see my mother with Celly. She wears a white, long flowy dress and her hair is loose, blowing back in the wind. 

My brother is laughing while he kicks the ball to my mom. They both smile cheerfully. Everything is just perfect, so peaceful. I have never felt more at peace as I do right now.

Grace is walking out of the woods. She is smiling bright, she is wearing a short white dress and flowers in her hair. 

She makes a hand gesture to someone to come to her. 

Someone, wearing all black walks out of the woods as the sky suddenly turn dark. clouds cover the sun and rain start pouring down. The temperature dropped and everyone's smile disappeared. 

I look in the same direction as Grace does. Agus walks out of the forest. Pain and anxiety return when he looks me in the eyes.

 I walk backward, the ground changed from grass to stone. Before I know I'm on the edge and fall back. 

Everything goes black, I look around but there is no one. I'm all alone in a big dark cold place. 

Then everything falls away as if I fall asleep.

This happens again and again. Every time I feel happy something comes by to destroy it and make me go back to that cold dark place again.

"Madam, we're going to wash you."

"Madam, you will be visited."

"Madam, it's time for therapy." 

I hear this voice every day. It's a voice of someone I have never met. A young woman, I think. I look around, searching for the person the voice belongs to. But there is nobody, I am still alone in a large dark room. I try to call back, asking her where she is and why I can't get out of here but she doesn't seem to hear me. 

Sometimes I feel people around me, but I can see them. I can communicate with them in any way. 

There is just one person who holds my hand and keeps me company in silence. Making me feel like I'm not completely alone. I feel the presence. The person is just sitting in silence. Someone who lets me listen to music. 

I can't recognize all the voices I hear. Almost all of them sound the same. Yet I recognize my mother's. 

"Hey Cira," she always stops before continuing. As if she is struggling to talk.

"I hope you can hear me. I want you to know that I love you so so very much. I hope you get well soon." She's gone again. I want to reassure her and tell her that I'm fine, but I can't reach her.

What does she mean by getting better? I am not sick.

I feel like I don't exist like I'm a ghost, trapped in this dark place. I feel so powerless and lonely,I hate it.

I hear new voices again which I don't recognize. People who keep talking to me about what they are going to do today, what has happened at school. I can't respond, they are just voices in my head. I don't know what is real or what a dream. I like it when I hear people talking, but those are only small parts of the time that I am alone here. It feels like this goes on for forever, I feel so tired of trying to talk back to them. I need to wake up from this nightmare.

"Piepp ... piep ... piep," I look around where the sound is coming from but I don't see anything. The dark space is slowly creeping away. I try to find the beeping sound and turn it off.

I try to open my eyes to look, but my eyelids are so heavy. I make another attempt, the light is so bright that my eyes fall close again. Slowly I try to open my eyes again and again. When I'm used to the light a little more, I look around me. I see fluorescent tubes and white walls.

I am so tired that I can keep my eyes open for a long time. When I'm awake a little more, I look around me. I'm in a room, laying in a cold bed. There is a sink on the side and a few chairs on the other wall. Next to me are a lot of machines. 

I'm in the hospital, what am I doing here. I try to sit up straight but then feel pain. Pain in my feet, ankles, thighs, chest but especially my head. What happened to me? How did I get here? Why does my whole body hurt? This must be real, this can't be another dream.

I hear the beep next to me, go faster and faster. It doesn't take long before I realize that it is my heartbeat. I breathe in and out deeply. My mouth is completely dry so I can't call for help. What happened to me? Why is it so cold in here and why doesn't my vision get clear. I try to move my hands, but it doesn't work, they are trapped and I don't have the strength to move them. It feel like there are heavyweights attached to my body. I close my mouth breathing through my nose so my mouth won't be so dry anymore but I feel something. There are tubes in my nose. 

I close my eyes for a couple of seconds to regaining strength. When I open them I try to move my hands again. I see an IV drip in my arm. Oh god, I don't move my hand anymore.  I see tubes running down the bed to the machines.

My attention is drawn to the cracking sound of the door opening. 

Yes, finally. Someone who can tell me what happened.

It a boy who entered the room, he has a hood over his head so I don't see his face. He closes the door and looks up at me. His eyes have darkcirculs around them and red on the inside. His skin looks pale, like he doesn't feel so good. When he looks at my face I see sadness and exhaustion all over his face. He has the most beautiful green-brown eyes. If he didn't look so devastated he would look so handsome. I don't know why he is here, probably the wrong room. 

When his eyes land on me relieve takes over, "Cira?'' He looks at me like he sees a ghost. ''You are awake." His voice is hoarse, takes off his hood and walks a little closer. 

I try to answer but that doesn't work, I open my mouth but there is no sound coming out.

His mouth opens again as if he wants to say a lot of things but tries to stay calm. There are so many emotions on his face, relieve but also sadness and nervousness.

I try to ask a question. 

"Which day ...?" My voice falls away, it came out so quiet, like a whisper. 

The last thing I remember is my birthday. When we had a movie night with the girls and Kendall and Mihno. After that nothing... 

I close my eyes again for a second. I remember Saturday, eating breakfast with my mother and celly. That is the last thing I remember. 

"It's Saturday." He says softly. Ohww it's the same day, I JUst have been asleep for A couple of hours. 

He keeps his eyes on me, monitoring every move before he says the next part. "October 3," 

What! 

I have been gone for two weeks, passed out. I hear the monitor go faster again. What happened to me to have caused this? Why can't I remember anything happening?

"I ... I don't know," I look around and I feel myself starting to panic. 

I takes another step closer to me with a worried expression on his face. 

"It will be all right, everything will be explained." He grabs my hand in his and looks over me. 

This gesture surprises me. Why is he so nice to me? Why don't I know why he is here? 

"Sorry, I made a promise to you and ..." I won't let him finish. 

"Who are you?" I ask. 

He freezes, his eyes locked on my face. I see his expresion turn back to the way it was when he enterd the room. From relief to fear, hopelessness and sadness. 

He first stays silent but he let's go of my hand and takes a step away. 

"I'm Jason," the boy says.

                                                                                    THE END

The story will be continued in the next book!

I wanna thank all the people who read my story and who have supported me! It really means a lot to me.

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