Daniel and Belinda went back to work the next day. They bought Kentucky Fried Chicken for dinner and made me eat some even though I wasn't hungry. Daniel never went back to my bedsit unless he needed to get something for me. I caught them kissing in the bathroom on Wednesday night.

By Friday, I had come out of my comatose state. Daniel and Belinda wanted to go out and encouraged me to do the same. "Come on, it'll be fun."

I stared at the TV. "No, I'm not ready."

Belinda grabbed the controller. The screen went black. "We had a deal. You knew this was going to happen. You insisted I force you to go out when it did. Get off your arse now, Jasmine."

Daniel sat in the armchair listening. I looked at him for support.

He shrugged. "I agree with Belinda. You can't stay here for the rest of your life." He leant forward and clapped his hands. "Here's the deal, we go out, get pissed, rock back here tonight, vomit in the morning, clean any mess, then you go back to your life and get on with it. Belinda needs her space."

His words hurt. I looked back at Belinda. "Am I in the way?"

"No, but I'm," she glanced at Daniel, then said, "We're... not going to allow you to let this prick do this to you. You're better than this, Jasmine. He doesn't deserve your tears. Now get your butt off that bed and get ready."

"I don't have anything to wear," I whined.

"Yeah, ya do. I have the perfect dress for getting back on the horse." Belinda went to her cupboard and grabbed a short black dress made of stretch fabric. "Black for mourning, tight and short for, but I'm not dead."

Daniel laughed. "Perfect. I might even set you up with one of my mates if you scrub up alright."

I rolled my eyes, then showered, dried my hair and put the dress on. I looked at myself in the full-length mirror behind the bathroom door. The dress was short and body-hugging, with long sleeves and a round neckline. I bent over in the mirror to check that my knickers stayed hidden. I sighed and went to show the others.

Daniel wolf-whistled. "Yeah...that's what I'm talking about. My sister is hot to trot. You pick the mate and I'll introduce you." He paused. "Unless he's a prick, then forget it."

I laughed and queried, "It's not too short and tight?"

Belinda shook her head. "Just what you need. You'll get plenty of attention and by the end of the night, you'll feel better about yourself."

We went to Freddy's and met Macy. She squeezed me tight. "I'm sorry, Jazz. It didn't work out for me either."

I returned the hug. I've said before, Mace can be a real airhead sometimes, but she's so sweet.

She grinned. "Let's get pissed." Macy sighed and looked where Belinda and Daniel stood with their heads together. "Your brother rejected me. He prefers Belinda. I'm ready for a big night, how about you?"

I grinned and slung the long strap of my small bag over my body. "Yeah...why not?"

We giggled as we made our way to the bar. I was determined to have a good time and, like Macy, didn't want to stand around and watch Belinda and Daniel hugging and kissing.

"Come and dance with me, Jazz!" Hours later, Macy took my hand and dragged me onto the dance floor.

I staggered and laughed, clutching Macy's arm for support. "I'm going to fall," I squealed. Macy's mouth opened in laughter that I couldn't hear over the sound of the band. I stared at the mirror ball above, then flung my arms wide and followed the glitter as it spun. Everything moved in slow motion, sounds muted, people jumped and gyrated, hair danced in the air. Macy threw her head back, and the singer in the band moved his mouth, but nothing came out.

Daniel's friend Conner led me away through the crowd. He made me sit beside a man who had red hair. "My mate," he yelled above the noise. "He's going to keep an eye on you. I'll be back soon." Connor sounded like he was a long way away. I nodded because he wanted an answer.

His mate grinned at me and then brushed hair from my face. I fell towards him. "Pretty..." he murmured. I tried to turn around to see who he was talking about. He yanked me back. I laughed because I felt weak and unable to control my limbs. His mouth latched onto my neck, and then he blew a raspberry. It tickled. I couldn't stop laughing because everything seemed funny. The room turned, people loomed large, disappeared, then came back into view.

Moist lips kissed my neck. I tried to focus and tugged at his hair to get him to stop. He leaned back and dragged me onto his lap. He said, "It's okay, baby, I've got you."

I laughed again because, yes, he had got me, his hand firm on my bum. He squeezed. It hurt. I fought to push his hand away, but he slipped it under the elastic of my knickers.

Someone grabbed me by the arm and jerked me to my feet. I fought to keep my eyes open and wondered why my feet wouldn't move. My knees kept bending and wouldn't click in for some reason. People yelled and shouted. My head spun. I couldn't centre my thoughts.

"Get your hands off her!"

I wondered whose hands were on whom and struggled to open my eyes. My face was buried in someone's shirt. It smelled nice and reminded me of something familiar and sad.

"Fuck off jerk, she liked it. She's laughing."

I guessed they were talking about me. Was I laughing? I could hear someone crying. I tried to see who, but my eyes wouldn't stay open.

I heard someone say. "I told you to keep your filthy fucking hands off her!"

People pushed and shoved. I was jostled and bumped. Someone lifted me and then pressed my head against something warm. I felt sure I was being carried, but I was too tired to care.

In my dream, I was lying on a car seat. The street lights flashed by as the car stopped and started. Adam's deep, mellow voice jolted my dream. I wanted to block it from my mind.

"Jasmine, honey. Don't do this to yourself?" His velvety voice said over and over. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry...what have I done to you...what have I done?"

I wanted him to stop asking because I didn't know what he had done, and it made me miserable.

The dream shifted to a different scene. I watched Adam being shoved into a police car. Then a phone was in his hand, he pointed at me and yelled, "You stupid bitch!"

I floated in a clear night sky. Adam drove away in a rusty old truck that had no seats. My head flopped. Someone pressed it against their chest. A surge of nausea washed over me. Macy vomited on Daniel's head. He swore but didn't get angry. I felt proud that he was my brother. She vomited again. I wanted to laugh because he stood and let her. My stomach hurt as I listened to her retching. The dream shifted. I swam under a warm waterfall. It eased my anxiety. I wanted to curl up and sleep in the warmth.

That is some weird dream Jasmine is having.  I wonder if parts of it are true.

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