By Thursday afternoon, my mood had lifted. After showering, I ate and sat at my computer to write. I get so lost in my pretend worlds and was surprised to realise it was 11.30 when I finished. A bang sounded on my door as I scrubbed my teeth. I rinsed and listened. Another knock. Belinda? Maybe?

I'm not sure about you, but to me, this can be scary shit late at night. I crept to the door as the knock sounded again and peered through the peephole. "Who is it?"

"Adam."

Wow. What a shock. "Hang on," I said, then paced the floor, struggling to sort out my emotions.

Question - What would you do?

Anger, fear, sadness and anxiety took a turn hammering my chest before I put on my dressing gown. Why was he here at this hour? What was I going to say to him? I didn't unhook the chain but opened the door as wide as the chain allowed and looked through the gap. We stared at each other. I didn't say anything.

Adam grinned. "Can I come in?"

"That's not a good idea," I whispered, shocked I had said these words because men I liked could twist me around their little fingers.

"I need to talk to you."

"No, you don't," I said.

Adam put his hand on the doorframe. "Yeah, I do. You've got the wrong idea about Gillian."

I frowned. "I don't know who Gillian is, and what you do is your business."

Adam sighed, hung his head, then looked back at me. "Gillian's the woman who came into your work with me. You've got the wrong idea."

"To be honest, Adam, I have no idea at all, so how you can say I have the wrong one confuses me even more, and so you know, I'm not into triangles, other than that, nobody needs to explain anything to anyone."

He cocked his head. "You're angry, and you have every right to be."

"I'm not angry, I'm tired. Why are you here at this time of night anyway?"

Adam sighed and said, "I came over Tuesday night and last night, but you weren't home. I was driving back to Footscray from Laverton and decided to come past and saw your light on." He paused. "If you're tired, I'll leave you alone, but if you're angry, I want you to let me in because I don't want you to be angry with me. You need to let me explain."

I didn't want to be hurt. I didn't want to be exploited. I had no right to be as angry as I was because he had made me no promises. I hung my head and said, "Adam, we went out once. You don't owe me anything. If you have a wife or a girlfriend, I'm not into that shit, so you should go away and forget it."

Adam stepped close, put his finger through the gap and tilted my chin. "Please let me in because you are way off." He stroked my lip with his thumb and whispered, "Please..."

Something in me cracked. I put my hand through the opening and shoved him away. "Don't do that to me! Don't try to manipulate me with sweet shit like I'm a sooky little girl who needs to be cajoled, it's degrading!"

Adam jerked backwards. He held his arms up. "Alright, I'm sorry." He lowered his hands, put them on his hips and took a breath. "Look, Jasmine, I'm not into that shit either, but I don't know you well. Give me some kudos because I'm trying to do the right thing here. You're angry, and you need an explanation, so stop pretending you're not. Will you let me in so I can explain? If you don't like what I have to say, then I'll leave and won't come back."

I hung my head, embarrassed by my outburst. "I'm sorry," I said. "You're right. I am angry. I have no right to be, so I'm trying not to be, but you keep insisting I am, so I am."

He grinned and once again touched my lip. "That didn't make much sense."

I smirked at him, knowing that what I had said sounded confused. "I don't have any right to be angry."

Adam cocked his head and surprised me by saying, "Yeah you do. But you've got it wrong. Can I please come in?"

I let him in and then closed the door behind him.

Yeah, yeah, reader, I know you're all yelling at me, telling me I'm stupid, but what's a girl to do when her heart is breaking?

We sat. He leaned back in his chair and rested his hands on the table. I marvelled at how he always appeared so together and casual. He said, "Gillian and I had to appear in court. We had to walk past your work and I wanted to see you. I told her what I was doing while she went into the news agency. I was pissed off when she came in. I'm sure she did it on purpose. She thinks she has a claim on me because we've worked together for a long time."

Adam jerked his shoulders and looked at me as if to say, that's it, and I had to admit it sounded feasible.

Something made me say. "So, you've had sex with her."

He glanced at his hands. I followed his gaze. He fiddled with his fingers, and I realised he wasn't as laid back as he made out. Adam had a strained expression. He said, "A long time ago. Not one of my best decisions."

"So." I squared my eyes at him. "That's why she has a claim on you?" He nodded. I asked, "When was the last time you had sex with her?"

Adam frowned at me then shook it off with, "A long time ago."

For some reason, that didn't sit right with me. The memory of her on the train with him and how she'd slipped her arm through his came back. If it happened a long time ago her claim on him wouldn't be as strong as it appeared. I was proud of the way I was handling this.

What do you think?

Maybe I was starting to read the signs, or I was maturing. I cocked my head in doubt.

He leaned forward with his arms on the table and said, "Jasmine, she's married and was when I first met her. Yes, we slept together. It was a bit of fun, a relief from work tension. It stopped a year ago, and then a couple of months back, we had a pretty stressful time with our jobs. She was having issues with her husband. We had a drink together, and one thing led to another. She's been at me to start it again. I said no. It's pissed her off. She knew that I was interested in you on the train. She saw an opportunity to cause me some trouble and took it. I'm sorry. Two months ago, I didn't know I'd meet you. I didn't know she wanted to start where we'd left off."

I understood, so I nodded and said, "Why don't you ask to be moved away from her? You know, get a transfer to a different department?"

Adam exhaled. "It's not as simple as that. We've always been honest and level-headed about it. She hasn't caused me any trouble before. This time it's connected to our work. I've put her in her place, she understands so she won't cause any more problems."

"What do you mean connected to your work?" I asked. "How does what you do affect me?"

His face crumbled. He'd disclosed something he didn't want me to know about and hadn't expected me to pick up on it.

He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. "Jasmine, I can't tell you that. It's not to do with you, but with the train. I'm sorry I can't say anything more."

I bit my lip and thought I was starting to understand. "So, the court case has something to do with the train service, public transport, the transport department?" Adam frowned, and then his eyes twinkled. I grinned wanting to lighten the mood. "I'm not in danger of getting killed by riding the train to work, am I?"

Adam laughed. I noticed he was relieved I had lifted the tone of our conversation. He shook his head, laughed, pushed back his chair and drew me towards him. When I sat on his lap, he kissed me and whispered, "I'm sorry. Please don't be angry with me because I really like you."

I put one hand on either side of his face and looked at him seriously. "I'm not angry with you anymore. I really like you too. I enjoyed being with you, but I'm not interested in being used or hurt. If you're only looking to be friends, please let me know now and avoid playing games with me. I've been hurt before and I didn't enjoy it."

He kissed me and then put his forehead against mine. "I understand you don't want to get hurt. I want to get to know you better. It might not work, but I'm not playing games with you or using you." He sighed again and said, "Jasmine, there are things I can't tell you about myself yet. When I say I don't know when I'll see you next, it's because I won't be able to tell you. My life is a mess at the moment. I need you to trust me, to believe that I want to see you and only you. I'm not with other women. When I can tell you about my life, you'll understand, but I can't talk about it now."

My mind went to my drug dealer theory. I was certain he didn't work with the transport department. I must have given him an easy out when I linked public transport to the train, to the court case, and sensed they had nothing to do with each other. The connection had to be the train and Stan. I became entangled in it because Adam had taken an interest in me when doing his deals. Hence, his comment about work connections. That had to be what Gillian wanted to prevent. Therefore, she was involved in drugs, too. He was studying me hard, giving me an option. I either had to trust him or finish it before it started. My heart pounded. I didn't want to be involved in anything illegal.

Adam kissed me, drew back a little, and began again. My body reacted. His breath caressed my lips as he said, "I need you to trust me, Jasmine. To take a chance on me."

I sighed against his mouth knowing I wanted to be with him, to have him kiss me. My heart led my head, as usual,  I whispered, "Okay." Then I claimed his lips with mine.

Do you believe Adam?  Would you trust him?

Photo copyright - Alamy

Word Count - 1693