Thank you so much for giving Train Guy a chance. 

I've written one other novel and a short story in first-person, so my experience isn't great.  Train Guy is my second attempt at a longer first-person story.   

I'm not a fan of first-person; therefore, I don't read it often.  To write it was a huge challenge, and editing it to this version was a nightmare.  I can't tell you how overwritten it was. 

All those 'I this, I that' makes me feel that first-person stories are very repetitive, and not having much experience, I have no idea how to change the I's.  Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

A little history. 

The first draft of Train Guy was written in 2009 as an erotic romance.  I haven't written first-person since, hahaha. It had no chapters, but was one big, long story.  I did this on purpose.  I believed that if the book were ever published, it would have no chapter breaks.  I imagine Jasmine sitting down with a coffee or glass of wine (maybe bottles of wine, haha), telling her life story to someone in a conversational way.  

Train Guy also breaks the Fourth Wall. At the time of writing, I didn't know I was breaking the Fourth Wall and had never heard of Breaking the Fourth Wall.  For those who aren't sure what this means, breaking the Fourth Wall is when a character talks to the reader to draw them into the 'conversation'.  Jasmine does this many times throughout the story.  This fitted with my image of Jasmine telling someone her story, and during that telling, asking her listener what their opinion is.

Train Guy was inspired by the James Blunt song, 'You're Beautiful', and these lines in particular.

I saw an angel
Of that I'm sure
She smiled at me on the subway

I saw your face in a crowded place

She could see from my face that I was
Fucking high
And I don't think that I'll see her again
But we shared a moment that will last 'til the end

There must be an angel with a smile on her face
When she thought up that I should be with you
But it's time to face the truth
I will never be with you

When I first heard this song, I remembered a day when this had happened to me.  I was walking along a footpath and a man in a café looked over his shoulder at me.  Our eyes met and we stared at each other until I'd walked out of view.  In that moment (perhaps 30 seconds) a weird sensation hit me.  I don't know how to describe it but it felt like I knew him and that our paths had crossed in some other realm, and that we had been lovers, or were destined to be lovers in another life. I have never forgotten this moment or the clenching of my stomach, the surge of adrenalin, shortening of breath and the pounding of my heart.  I'm pretty sure I broke out in a sweat, hahaha.

Has this ever happened to you?

The experience stayed with me for days and after hearing James Blunt's song I realised this experience must happen to many people and so...  Train Guy was born.

I tried to replicate my experience when Jasmine and Train Guys eyes meet for the first time in chapter one.

I hope you enjoyed the story.  One day I'll relook at it and hopefully tightened it up.

Thanks again for reading.

Cheer, Donna. xoxo

Song lyrics copyright belong to James Blunt. 2004

Photo copyright - Song Lyrics Design.