"What's that?" Kate asks, dropping down next to me on the couch.

She leans against me, trying to read the poem I—for some reason—agreed to read tonight. I've been reading over it all day to make sure there's nothing I want to change about it, and a little sister is a perfect distraction.

"What is it?" she asks, turning to look at me, her blue eyes wide.

"It's a journal," I say, shutting it.

Her eyes widen. A split second later, a smile plays on her lips. "No, duh, it's a journal. But why have you been reading that one page this entire time? Isn't there something better to do?"

I shrug. "Not really."

Kate smiles up at me, batting her eyelashes. "Not even paying attention to your little sister?"

I arch an eyebrow, shifting to face her. "Why would I do that?"

She presses a hand flat against her chest. "Because I am worth all the words in the world. That page only has a fraction of them."

How can I argue with that? "Okay, what do you want?"

She sits up. "Can you take me ice skating?"

"Why don't you ask Mom or Dad? Or even Hannah?"

She glances away, wringing her hands. "I want to go with you."

How can I argue with that? Hearing the slight quiver in her voice alone makes my chest tighten. And the way she can't even look at me like she thinks I'll say no... Maybe it has been a really long time since I've hung out with Kate. And maybe it's been a long time since I've gotten to know my little sister.

"Okay, I'll take you," I say.

She does a double-take. "Really?"

I nod, standing and stretching my arms above my head. "Yeah. Meet me at the front door in five minutes."

Kate's already taking the stairs two at a time. I smile after her before I hunt down Mom and Dad in the kitchen. They pause their conversation to look at me expectantly. I smile as I join them at the table.

"Is it okay if Kate and I go ice skating right now?" I ask.

Mom nods. "Yeah. Of course. Go ahead."

I nod, gripping my journal in my lap. "Also, I might be out a little later today. Nathan and Clara want me to come to another open mic tonight. So..." I wait for them to tell me that's too late to be out, but they nod and smile. I wait a second longer to make sure I'm not imagining their reactions. "Oh... Thank you for letting me go."

Dad laughs, giving me a quizzical smile. "You're welcome, I guess."

"I can drop Kate off at home before I head to the café," I say, standing.

Mom nods. "Yeah. Sure. Just let us know if Kate wants to come with you."

Come with me? Why would Kate come with me? And why would I let her come with me? I want to hang out with my little sister, but I don't want her to hear me read a poem about our dead brother. I don't know how she'll react. I don't know how I'll react.

"I'll see what she says later in the day," I say.

Mom hums. "Let us know when you're on your way home."

"What time do you want us home?"

Dad waves me off. "Just let us know when you're on your way."

I glance between them. "Really?"

Mom blinks, studying me. "Yeah. We trust you to take care of yourself and your sister."

I blink hard. "Really?"

Mom and Dad glance at each other. Amusement dances in their eyes, but a flash of concern and... guilt... trips through the choreography. They both shift to face me. Mom holds her hand out. I take it, sitting again. Mom smiles and squeezes my hand.

"We trust you, Mona," Mom says. "You know that, right?"

Not really. "Sure."

Dad puts a hand on my shoulder. "Well, we do trust you. And you should be able to hang out with your friends and be happy."

The back of my eyes starts to burn, and I try to blink the feeling away before the tears come. "Thank you." I swallow, looking down at the table. "But Hannah—"

Mom encompasses my hand with both of hers. "We'll let Hannah know to leave you alone tonight. She shouldn't be so overprotective when all you're doing is having some fun."

I let out a breath, already feeling lighter. "Thank you." I stand. "I'll text you guys if Kate and I will be out past eight."

Mom and Dad nod, already turning back to each other to continue their conversation like they don't have any worries about me being out of the house. Weird. But also nice. Really nice.

I run up the stairs to grab everything I need. I pause long enough to glance down the hallway to Hannah's room. The door is shut, and I feel the urge to knock and let her know I'm heading out with Kate. It's not like I need to since I already told Mom and Dad. It's just a habit I've developed in the past few months to tell Hannah everything I'm doing only for her to cut the time short or tell me not to go at all.

I get that it's because she cares and that she's scared something might happen. But if Mom and Dad trust me, why can't Hannah?

I shake the thoughts from my head and meet Kate at the front door. The first thing she tells me is it's been seven minutes. I laugh, not sure if I miss having her around or if it's just the nostalgia clouding my judgment.

We walk to the park, and Kate talks the entire time, giving me little room to tell her my thoughts. I don't mind. It helps me decide that I do miss having her around. I miss the way her eyes light up when she's talking about something she's really interested in. The way she talks with hand gestures. The way she looks up at me expectantly for my approval about something. The way she's so much like Morgan but also just wholeheartedly her.

"What's it been like living with Hannah?" Kate asks. "Is it anything like when we all lived together?"

I shake my head. "Not really. I think Hannah's more overbearing than Mom and Dad ever were. I think she has to be since she's the one in charge."

"But Mom and Dad are always in charge and they're not overbearing." Kate laughs. "Maybe Hannah's going crazy with power."

"I wouldn't say that." Kate's smile falters. I smirk, running a hand over her head. "It's more like she's short-circuiting since she doesn't have all the power anymore now that Mom and Dad are here."

Kate laughs, trying to cover up her relief. "So you think Hannah's a robot?"

I arch an eyebrow. "You don't?"

"I always thought she was a dragon."

"She's both."

Kate's smile broadens. "And what am I?"

I consider her. "A gremlin."

She makes a face. "Well, this gremlin is gonna beat you to the lake!"

She runs ahead of me. I roll my eyes, running after her. I don't run as fast as I can, letting Kate reach the lake first. We trade our shoes for skates and step onto the ice together. Sometimes we race. Other times I'm teaching her some new tricks. When Kate gets too tired, she suggests building a snowman. I help her make the different parts, stacking the pieces. Kate rips off the top two buttons on her jacket and places them where the eyes should be. I take off my hat and scarf and put them on the snowman. Meanwhile, Kate looks for dead branches and comes back minutes later. After she places them on the snowman, we step back to admire our work.

"He looks like you," Kate laughs. I think she means it as a teasing insult, but I feel her tense beside me. "I mean... the snowman could be a she. It really..."

I nod, trying to catch her eye, but Kate isn't looking at me anymore. "Yeah. I can see the resemblance."

Kate nods, keeping her eyes on the ground. We were having such a great time. I don't want it to end yet. I take out my phone and hand it to Kate.

"Take my picture with it."

Kate blinks. "Oh. Sure."

She takes my phone. I stand next to the snowman. Maybe it's what Kate was saying about how the snowman looks like me or maybe I've been thinking about Morgan a lot more lately, but I think of him now. Whenever we took pictures together, we would always try to have identical poses. So if the snowman looks like me...

I hold out my arms and try to bend them in the shapes of the branches. Kate laughs. Good. I try to keep my face neutral like the snowman's, making her laugh harder. Good. She counts down from three, taking the picture. We look at it together.

"It's like..." Kate's expression goes blank, and she glances at me.

"Twins," I finish for her. "It's like we're twins."

Kate visibly swallows. "Yeah. Exactly like twins." We take each other in for a second. Her eyes are contemplative, but she smirks as she adds, "Except the snowman is prettier."

I make a face as I swipe my phone from her. "Whatever, you gremlin."

Kate laughs, but it feels a little forced. Especially when she stares at the snowman, her expression going blank again. I start to reach out to put my hand on her head and ask if she's okay when my phone rings.

I thought Mom and Dad told Hannah—Oh, good. It's not Hannah. It's Clara.

"Hey," I answer. "What's up?"

"I'm bored," she sighs. "Can you come to Poems and Tales and hang out before the open mic tonight?"

"Right now?"

"Yes. Right now. Please."

I glance at Kate. She looks back up at me with a tilt of her head. "I'm hanging out with Kate right now."

"You can bring her with you. I don't mind hanging out with your sister."

I fight the urge to turn and walk away from Kate to ask Clara if she's serious. I don't know if Clara even realizes that she just suggested bringing Kate to the open mic when I'm gonna read a poem about our dead brother. Maybe she does realize and she thinks it's a good idea. I wouldn't be surprised, but I still can't believe she's suggesting it.

"I'll ask," I say. "But I'll be there."

I can hear the smile in Clara's voice when she says, "See you soon!"

When I hang up, Kate frowns. "Are we done hanging out? Are you leaving to go hang out with your friends now?"

Our eyes meet, and there's a steely stubbornness to Kate right now. It's like her walls are up, and she's preparing herself for disappointment. For rejection. For me to turn her away. It doesn't matter if it's to go hang out with my friends. It probably doesn't matter to her what I do after I tell her I don't want to hang out anymore. It'll hurt her no matter what.

But I don't want her to hear me read a poem about Morgan. Today is as close as we've gotten to talking about him in a long time, and even then it wasn't like we really talked about him. I don't know what Kate will say about Morgan once we really start discussing him. I don't know what I'll say once we start discussing him.

But I don't want Kate to think I'm shutting down on her...

"You can come with me if you want to," I say.

Her eyes light up. "Really?"

I nod. "Yeah. It'll be... fun." And scary. But maybe worth it. I hope.

Kate smiles, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Let's go!"

I force myself to return her smile, turning her towards the direction of Poems and Tales. All I can do from here on out is ignore my pounding heart.