Chapter Forty Eight: Overcoming My Fear Of Driving
Sophia Crawford

"There's absolutely nothing to be afraid of." River says from beside me.

My hands were shaking as they were holding onto the steering wheel. My legs have been shaking, too, making it difficult to keep my feet on the pedals.

I shake my head, repeatedly. "I can't do it." I turn my head to look at him, expecting to see disappointment on his face seeing that I was the one who wanted him to teach me how to drive all over again, but found none.

"You can, Sophia." He says, giving my shaking hand a tight squeeze. "Forget about what happened the last time you drove. Think of this as your way of learning to drive again, and not about what happened the last time you drove."

"The only thing I can possibly think of right now is what happened the last time I drove." I swallow hard, not even trying to hide my fear of driving anymore. To be honest, I didn't think I could climb into the driver's seat, but here I was, but the real challenge was to get the car to start, and that's where I froze on the spot. "I don't want to endanger your life, River." I tell him. "This was a bad idea."

I let go of the steering wheel to swipe a shaky hand across my sweaty face.

"We are not going to get into an accident, Sophia..." He reassures me. "We're in a parking lot where there are no cars. We will be perfectly fine. Just breathe."

I breathe in and out; the breathing exercise I usually do with him when he got a panic attack, but somehow my breathing exercise didn't work with me today. My breathing was fast, but it still felt like my lungs weren't getting any oxygen.

"I'm afraid." I admit. "I am so damn afraid right now, River."

River takes my chin in between his fingers, forcing me to look at him. His blue eyes were piercing mine. "I know you're afraid." He nods, still holding my chin. "And it's okay to be afraid. But remember what I told you the last time... before you climbed the mountain for the first time... You are not afraid of heights, Sophia, you're afraid of falling. In this case you're not afraid to drive, you're afraid of crashing. But you are not going to crash, Sophia. You will be just fine." His thumb rubs the underneath of my chin in a soothing manner.

He then places a sweet kiss against my lips, making me blush though my fear.

When he pulls away from me, his eyes were filled with pride. "I am proud of you for doing this even though you haven't started the car yet," he says, smiling, "but I'm still so proud of you Sophia. Being in the driver's side right now was a big step for you, and I am so proud of you for taking that step."

I inhale deeply, closing my eyes and savouring that he was here with me.

"If you do not want to start the car today, you don't have to." He says.

I open my eyes and look at him. "I want to do this."

"Just remember that you will not be alone through this." He promises me. "I will be here every step of the way, just like how you were there for me every step of the way when I had to see my father." River then sighs, looking out the window and at the empty parking space we were currently using as a practice session. "When I had to see my father, I was fucking afraid." He says. "I was so damn afraid... but when you said that you would be there for me, through it all, I wasn't so scared anymore because you were with me, Sophia. I couldn't have seen my father if it wasn't for you at my side." He looks at me again. "Now I know that this is scary for you, and that it's a difficult step for you to take, but I promise you that I will be here for you."

I smile thankfully at him. "Thank you so much, River."

He kisses my shaky knuckles, the small gesture causing a shiver to descend my spine. "You can do this, Sophia."

I inhale deeply and place my fingers on the keys in the ignition.

Just one turn and the car would be brought to life.

Just one single turn.

"I can do this."

"You can do this, Sophia."

I turn the ignition and start the car.

Just doing that single thing made River beam with pride beside me. He was smiling so wide, I don't think I have ever seen him so happy and proud before.

"See?" He asks. "I told you... you could do this."