Iris

There was so much dread in Garrett's exclamation. My dismay turned to irritation. He didn't have to say it like someone had kicked his puppy. Was the idea of sharing a bed with me so appalling?

Get it together, Iris.

Part of me knew my line of thinking was irrational and brought about by the sour mood I'd been in since the near accident this morning. Okay, the sour attitude I'd been in since my eyes opened. All the bravado I mustered up after purchasing the beautiful coral dress evaporated as soon as I got home and remembered who actually had to carry out the plan. Iris. Not Ivy. And no matter what I wore, I wasn't my sister.

I twisted my hair in my hand as I maneuvered into the bedroom to allow Garrett to enter and assess. Not that there was much to assess. One giant wrought iron bed in the middle of a cozy, white paneled bedroom with filmy tea rose lace curtains covering bay windows. They mounted a top of the line flat paneled television over a matte black and wood trimmed seven drawer dresser with brass drawer pulls, and next to it was a fully stocked minibar. Our luggage was stacked against the wall, delivered before we arrived.

"Unless it's in the closet, I think you're out of luck."

"What?" Garrett swiveled to face me. Two tufts of dark hair stuck straight up where he'd crammed his fingers into his hair and tugged.

"The couch. That's what you're looking for?"

"A couch or the second bed we were promised."

Too tired to come up with a solution, especially considering there was only one. Suck it up and deal with it. I shrugged and sat on the edge of the bed, sliding my shoes off before sprawling out across the plush comforter. Garrett frowned, his eyes skittering to every point around me without ever settling on my body. Like he couldn't stand the thought of seeing me on a bed.

"It'll be fine," I said.

"Ivy, I don't think this is a good idea. We're here in a professional capacity."

I leaned up on my elbows. My hair pooled on the bed behind me. "Are you worried people will think you're like most men your age? That you're banging your admin assistant?"

"No." His green eyes turned warm and finally locked on my face. "I'm worried people will think you're sleeping with me, and that's a hell of a lot more damaging to your future career than it is mine."

"Oh." I couldn't tease him about that. "It's fine, Garrett. People are going to think what they want. If we had a room with two beds, they'd still think the same, and if you wanted your own bed so you could bring back a guest, I can make myself scarce."

He drew back as if I'd struck him. "I wouldn't—wait, do you plan on bringing a guest back?"

His question had an icy edge. A warning. And I ignored it.

"Maybe. You did say I had some free time." I winked while my stomach twisted.

"I see."

"Garrett, I'm teasing. It'll be fine. We can put pillows between us if you're afraid we'll get too close during the night, but honestly, this thing is big enough for four people."

A blush crept up my neck as I considered what I'd just said, and there was no pretending it wasn't exactly how it sounded. Even Garrett's cheeks turned pink. His phone dinged, and he looked at his watch.

"We've missed the welcome dinner. I planned on meeting someone afterward, and I'll be back late. Please take the company card and buy yourself dinner."

"Got it."

"Just you."

I bristled at the implication. "Oh, trust me. I'm not the type of woman who would woo a potential partner with the company credit card."

"Oh. And what kind of woman are you?"

"That's none of your concern," I snapped.

His nostrils flared, and his lips parted as if he might say something. Then he snapped them closed and stormed out of the room. Sliding off the bed, I grabbed my toiletry bags. A long shower and room service might be the only thing to salvage this night. Tomorrow, I would have to apologize for my behavior, but I wasn't sure how I would go about it.

I couldn't exactly admit I was upset that I wasn't brave enough to move beyond the hypothetical regarding the guest that had made him so upset, or that I wished more than anything that he wanted to do more than sleep beside me tonight. There was the option of going with the reason for my silence in the car, but talking about that seemed harder than the other. Ivy and I rarely brought it up. I couldn't imagine discussing it with someone I barely knew.

An hour later, I sat on the bed wrapped in a hotel robe, my stomach full and my eyelids heavy as I channel surfed. A few of my favorite romantic comedies were playing, but tonight, they didn't appeal to me.

My phone buzzed. I picked it up and groaned. Shannon had turned to pestering me through text instead of email. At least she had positive things to say about the sample I'd sent her, telling me I was heading in the right direction. But it still felt cold and impersonal and lacking in detail.

Minh's suggestion came back to me as I laid in the bed and wallowed. It held as much appeal as it had before, but with the clock winding down and no actual progress, I was running out of options. It was either watch someone else have sex or do it myself, and if I hadn't managed the latter in the last twenty years, I it wouldn't in the next two weeks.

A quick tiptoe to the door revealed an empty hallway. I almost flipped the latch to lock the door against everyone on the outside, but decided against it. Garrett said he would be late, and if he did show up early, I didn't want him wondering if I locked him out on purpose. Especially after the way we left things.

Settling back in my place on the bed, I drew up the covers and opened a private browser on my phone. It took nearly five minutes to gather the courage to type in the first search, and after clicking on one video, I held my breath, exiting out of it the moment the second woman crawled on the bed to join the still fully clothed couple.

What was it that Minh said? I had to learn what I liked and didn't like to make my scenes more intimate? Clearly, I could scratch off threesomes because I was too possessive to share, but beyond that, I didn't know what I liked enough to search for it.

My phone was heavy in my hand as I opened the browser again, this time closing my eyes as I tried to recall the fantasies that usually got me through the finish line. Garrett loomed large in my mind, his chiseled body arched over my backside and his hand wrapped around my throat as he drove himself into me.

Biting my lip, I typed choking. The first image in the search was almost precisely what I'd pictured, and I clicked on it. The couple kissed, their hands shedding articles of clothes in the brief moments their lips separated. They were so tender with one another; I thought I'd clicked on the wrong movie, but the moment they were both naked, their passion increased, turning to something feral.

Was this what I wanted? The slickness between my thighs suggested it was. The brutality of what was happening between them now was shocking. He pressed her legs into the mattress, holding her open as wide as she could go while he hammered into her. They paid her to look like she enjoyed it, but I didn't think anyone was good enough to fake the glazed look of pleasure in her eyes as she grabbed the sheets.

But the longer I watched, the more I realized it wasn't the roughness that appealed to me, but the possession. He owned her, and she him. Maybe in another video, with another couple, this would just be any man fucking any woman, using her body and discarding her, but this couple moved together like two parts of a whole. And even as he pulled her hair, dragging her back against his front, I could see how consumed he was by her. By chasing her pleasure as much as his own.

That was what I wanted. To be so desired that the man I was with lost himself.

No longer able to resist, I put my hand between my legs. This wouldn't take long. Normally, I needed my vibrator to come, but I'd never been so turned on in my entire life. Within two swipes, I was panting. My phone slipped off my stomach and landed on the bed, and I closed my eyes, moving my fingers in the same rhythm of the flesh slapping in the video.

"Oh, oh," I gasped, throwing my hand over my mouth and sinking my teeth into the plump flesh at the base of my thumb as I came so hard my back arched off the bed.

Heart fluttering, I peeled open my eyes and sat up, and nearly passed out in shock when I found Garrett standing on the side of the bed, my phone in his hand. He looked at the screen and back at me.

"Is this what you like, Ivy?" He asked. The question wrapped around me like a rough caress.

"G-garrett..."

His eyes skimmed down my face and stopped on my chest where robe had parted enough to expose the side swells of my breasts. "If you come that hard watching a video..."

Oh, dear god. He'd been there long enough to watch me, but it wasn't embarrassment that washed over me; instead, it was excitement. I'd been that vulnerable in front of him, and he hadn't left in disgust. No... he was very turned on right now.

I let the covers fall away and rose onto my knees. His pupils pulsed, the black swallowing the green as they followed my every movement. The phone fell from his hand as I cupped his face, leaning in to close the distance between us.

"Garrett?" A sultry female voice called from the doorway. "Are you coming?"

He cursed. I scrambled back and dragged the covers over my body, facing away from him. The bed dipped under his weight.

"Ivy, we need to talk—"

"Your guest is waiting."

"Ivy."

"Go."

When the door clicked shut, I let the first tear fall and wondered how the hell I was going to make it through the rest of the weekend.