*****026:

Richard walked softly through the snow, remembering another walk, or a few walks at night in this snow. How they'd talked then. Friends. Just friends first.  But intimate friends, always, able to see into each others souls. It was intoxicating, lovely.

He got to her bedroom door and knocked, there was no answer. He tried it, it was locked. He walked around the house and up the porch stairs and peered into the French doors. He knocked and saw a fair head on the couch turn. Her blue eyes seared him in that moment and he prayed they always would. Pleasure and startlement at war within her. He wanted to keep it that way, surprising her, that element of wonder and awe about them, never complacency.

He opened the door and tiptoed inside to find the house cooler than he'd expected, and the baby asleep in her swing, which had stopped rocking and her blanket dropped on the floor. He went to her and lifted her out of the swing, cuddling her little body close to his chest. Startled, she flexed and arched, but then settled against him and went back to sleep.

He came across the room and deposited the baby in Tracy's arms and then turned to the fire that had gone out.

"Planning to freeze, hon?" he whispered.

Tracy yawned, pulled up her top unabashedly and popped the nipple into the baby's rooting lips. Without skipping a beat, the infant latched on and curled securely against Tracy. Richard started the fire and then turned and sat on the little padded foot rest and watched. His eyes warmly appraised the three of them.

"Getting good at that, huh?" he raised a cocked eyebrow at her.

"The twins broke me in." she chuckled softly. "It was either sink or swim. So I survived." 

"Yes, you did. It's just amazing to me that you were able to nurse Kylie as well."

"Um hmm ..." Tracy yawned. "Hadn't lost my milk from the twins. I was still nursing them a bit when Kylie came along."

"So, what? It just fills up?"

''Yeah, the more you nurse, the more milk you have. It's really cool how that works. Kind of a signal to produce more, your baby is hungry. Very cool."

''Yeah, very cool." Richard slid closer and watched the suckling baby with interest. Tracy started to cover the union of the two of them, not realizing that she'd completely bared herself in front of him. She had been half asleep when he'd come in, and Richard's presence in the middle of the night was not an unusual thing.

Richard's finger stopped her, as he laid it against the baby's cheek and then slid further down to rest against that life-giving union. His eyes sought hers and Tracy found herself holding her breath.

"Are you all babied out, or will you have a couple for me?"

"As many as you want, Richard." She said, looking into his eyes, feeling the close scrutiny he was giving her and Kylie now. He glanced at Danny who slept so peacefully against her side and then gently let his finger slide around the fullness attached to the little mouth. For intimate seconds he stared at his finger, then his eyes raised again to find hers, staring avidly at him. For a few seconds more their eyes held the eternities, burning brightly between them. Then Richard pulled back and sighed shakily.

"We're neither of us inexperienced, are we? Just been awhile. How do you feel about that?" Tracy shrugged eloquently. "You've come the longest way, my boy."

He nodded. "Can you forgive me for being so callused when we first met? So worldly?"

''You lived in the world and were of it. There's nothing to forgive. You're not accountable for what you don't know." She said gently with a soft smile.

"I want to ask your forgiveness anyway." He whispered sincerely, an earnestness in his words that gave her pause.

"You're forgiven, love." 

Richard hung his head. "A long time I've wanted to hear you say those words. I didn't want to start out our life together with that issue hanging between us. I wasn't a very nice person before we met, and I was calloused and flaky, but I am not now, and I promise I won't ever be again. I will do my very best to provide for our family, however big it may be, and however many children the Lord sees fit to grace us with, even if they are all adopted. I promise to protect you and give you a good solid foundation based on the gospel principles we both cherish. I promise, Tracy Lynn, to make you happy every day of your life, as you have made me."

Tracy swallowed the threatening tears with a will that she hadn't known she possessed. "I want to answer you." She took a deep shaky breath. "Whatever the future holds, we're going to go through it together. Whatever it takes. Together. Always and forever, together."

She reached for his hand and he grabbed it feeling the love pouring from their union. "In just a few hours..." Richard whispered. "We'll be sealed.... And there won 't ever be another doubt in either of our minds. Forward with faith, kiddo."

"I can't believe this is happening to us. Who would have thought?" she laughed.

He shook his head. "It had its moments when I thought it wasn't going to happen . But I never lost it completely. I didn't know how it would work, but I knew it would if I could just get past myself and focus on Christ and you. And I promise you, Tracy, I will always keep you and Him the center of our lives. And our family."

"I believe you, Richard."

"I know you're not through the darkness, sweetheart, and that's okay. I know what we're doing tomorrow is right, and that we'll get through it all together."

Tracy nodded, remembering her own concerns earlier. But she didn't voice them now. Richard stood up. "I should go."

"Want to help me move Danny?" he reached for the sleeping little boy and lifted him easily. Tracy stretched and then held the baby up.

"Built in family." Richard snorted.

"Never would have thought." She laighed and shrugged, getting up. Richard followed Tracy to Daniel's room and laid him in his bed under the covers.

"No. I never would have thought you 'd pull it off, let alone manage to get four kids. Never." 

Tracy stopped in the hallway as he followed her out. "Does it bother you?" 

"No, no. Honey, no. It's right."

"Are you sure?"

Richard took her in his arms. "I told you earlier. It's the greatest gift I 've ever been given. I can 't express enough how it makes me feel. But I'm going to spend my life trying. There's nothing else I'd rather do."

Then he lowered his lips to hers again and tasted the sweet forgiveness and acceptance offered.

There was nothing better.

*****

She'd never felt so tired in her life. Even after Raine and Steven died in the fire, and she'd been so depressed she could barely function, the weariness wasn't what made her tired. Now, today, she felt an exhaustion so complete and so good. How could exhaustion be good? But it was.

She sat at the airport, in their assigned waiting area. Large dim lights cast a permeating glow over the other people waiting as well. Richard had gone to see about their flight clearance. "Excuse, Miss? Are you Tracy McCaffrey?"

Tracy cursed the bad luck that left her sitting alone with four young children in a public place, unattended by any sort of security personnel. But, she was on her honeymoon. Right? She wasn't taking anybody on her honeymoon with her, why would they be here? 

She looked up to see a very familiar face, one she knew was very familiar with her too. In fact, why Gregory Dalwain would ask if she was who she was when he had interviewed her several times mystified her. She smiled at him without getting up, as she was holding the baby and watching several large carry-on bags.

"Hi." She said, and her voice held annoyance.

Gregory hefted his own bags and set them and his camera down beside them. "How have you been? I haven 't seen you out and about for months."

"That's funny, I've been around," Tracy answered, sitting up and reaching over Kylie's head to shake his proffered hand.

"So, where are you off to?" he asked companionably, obviously not too worried about interview status.

"I 'm actually on my honeymoon, Greg, we're heading for Hawaii. You?"

His laugh was one meant to let her know her statement was a shock to him. His raised brows flexed in typical reporter fashion. "Hawaii." He repeated and she wasn't sure if he meant he was going there, or was commenting that she was.

"Hmm ?" she clarified.

"Honeymoon?" his voice choked on the word.

"I'm sorry. The official release isn't public yet. In fact, if you were to release that tidbit, my entire family would be shocked."

Gregory's eyebrows raised another notch. "Who's the lucky fella?"

''Richard Mann." She said softly as she noticed Richard coming toward them, a backpack over his broad shoulder, stretching his t-shirt tightly over well-defined muscles.

Gregory followed her gaze and his eyes lit up. "Home from down under, partner?" he stood to shake hands with another longtime acquaintance.

Richard 's dismay was covered with a professional stoicism, not even phased by the fact that he immediately located the three children sitting on the window ledge watching the lights of taxiing planes.

"Good to see you, Greg. It's been awhile. How have you been? Busy snooping around the lives of the famous and not so famous?"

It wasn't a rude comment, but one that let Gregory know he wouldn't be getting any more information from the couple than mere pleasantries.

"Yeah," he laughed, not disappointed. "Just heading to Hawaii to catch the set of one of Click Talbot's action thrillers. Got an interview with Marc Shepard."

"No kidding. Marc working with Click? That's a pair." Richard chuckled. "I've worked with them both once upon a time."

Gregory nodded. "So, you 'll be getting back in the business the both of you now that the mission is over and the honeymoon is begun?"

"A little action, yeah." Richard hefted the two large duffels onto his other shoulder and went to take Melia's hand as she turned from watching planes.

"Can I have a picture?" He asked and lifted his camera suggestively.

"With the caption: Newlyweds head for Hawaiian honeymoon? Ah, no!"

Gregory watched Richard gather his family and herd them toward a small door off the main section. "Hey, flying private?"

"Tracy's a pilot these days." Richard called over his shoulder. It was as he called back that the flashes went off and Gregory shrugged good-naturedly. Richard shook his head but shut the door behind them knowing full well that Gregory had a great story to sell tonight online.

Tracy led the way to her plane, a small private six seater. Richard loaded their gear and helped strap the children into their seats, then got into the front and began asking a million questions until Tracy told him to shut up so she could get them cleared for take-off.

As soon as they were airborne Danny asked the ultimate kid question. "How long till we get there?"

"Oh, about five hours till you see land again." She laughed. "Why don 't you get in your backpack and get out your game-boy?"

"Let me see that thing." Richard exclaimed in kindly interest, and that alerted the girls who hung on Daddy's Richie's every word. Soon they were all leaning over the tiny screen and trying to see what was so fascinating.

Tracy's satisfied expression belied her inner thoughts which, as usual, had shifted tracks. She was back to organizing and checking off lists in her head. It was a habit now, one she'd developed over years of having to be on the go, and ready for anything with children to care for.

After an hour, the twins drifted off and Danny put on headphones and a taped version of The Hardy Boy's latest adventures. Richard covered Tracy's hand with his and caught her attention.

"What are you thinking of?" he asked, his voice low and charming, the voice of a world-renown actor, meant to make one's heart flutter.

Tracy's did. "Making a list and checking it twice." She said softly, a standing joke between them about her penchant to spend oodles of time going over plans and preparations in her head.

"I've already called ahead to make sure the condo is stocked, but there will be a store in town you can shop at too." He reminded, giving her hand a squeeze.

"I know. But kids are always more agreeable if they have some familiar things with the unfamiliar." 

He knew her responses as if they were his own even after two years spent apart from her on his mission; she was still an open book to him.

The thing was, she knew it. She forced herself to relax again, to scan the darkening skyline, the glimpses of gray ocean through ever increasingly fluffy clouds.

"I hope you know I'm over it all, Richard. I wouldn't have gone to the Temple with those kinds of feelings unresolved." She said, flicking a gauge, and concentrating on the horizon. "Actually I'm more concerned about the guy they caught, the one they are prosecuting for burning down my house." She didn't say and killing her son and husband, but it was there unspoken between them. "I hope I can forgive him."

"He set fire to your home, Tracy. A fire that killed three people and almost killed the twins. He's insane. He shouldn't be roaming the streets." Richard pushed back in his seat, one elbow propped on his raised knee, braced against the window. His cold gaze was averted from her. But she could sense the tension in him.

"It takes time, hon, the courts will decide it all. As for me. It's over. I never have to see him. I have my girls to remind me of Raine...." She stole a glance at Richard and found his dark eyes probing hers intimately.

"I know you still carry a love for him, and that you always will."

''Don 't be threatened by it. I love you." She assured. 

"As much?"

"Positively." 

"How will you prove it?" Now his tone had turned like quicksilver to teasing.

Tracy tossed her long blonde hair. ''You 'll just have to wait and see." She said in her sexiest voice and blew him a kiss.

He took her hand and kissed it lingeringly, all the while keeping an eye on Danny who seemed to have fallen asleep. Then, within a few seconds, it seemed Richard was drifting off as well.

*****