199:20

"Landed?!" Tracy screeched. "Are you serious? Why? How?"

"They're a little early. It happens. Don't worry." He assured her. "Nervous?"

She looked away. Was she nervous? Yes! Yes, she was nervous. She hadn't seen him in two years. He hadn't seen the kids. She'd sent pictures, but nothing was as real as real life. The last time they'd been together was in the MTC, and she couldn't even remember their final hug. Everything was so blurry; she felt that same blurriness right now, in fact. A build then? No...

People began coming down the ramp, you could see them before they came through the doors. A couple with children, another couple, walking uncomfortably, having been sitting awhile. Several more people, men, women, children, dressed in holiday finery.

"I've changed a lot since he knew me." Tracy whispered and Zack looked at her curiously. She looked a lot like her photographs. And she was photographed a lot. She was smaller than expected, he thought, delicate looking in a strong sort of way. Like small boned, but steel underneath. Her eyes were what drew him, bluer than sapphires.

"He'll still know you." Zack said and his breath choked out of him, as he felt a purr of envy for just a moment. Zack was finishing film school back east and was into producing and directing, he'd love to work with her and he wanted to say so.

Tracy watched a couple embrace as the girl stepped out of the doorway and her obvious husband/ boyfriend grabbed her up and twirled her around. A smile touched her inside. Sweet, reunions were so sweet. She turned back to look through the glass...

Zack had stiffened, his demeanor changing from sudden interest to sudden recognition. Tracy looked up, the doorway was blocked momentarily and then he was through it...

She'd always wondered what momentous events did to you, wanted to catalog them somewhere and write a book about the human psyche at such blurry moments, when things were clear, and yet subtly slowed, so that every detail suddenly became ingrained. 

Zack had run forward, hugged his brother, as Richard dropped his bag and lifted him off the ground. Back slapping sounds broke through Tracy's still shocked feeling, and she had to wonder what she must look like to anyone watching her. She felt silly... yes silly...

His eyes found hers over the back of Zack's neck. He let his brother go, and took another step toward her. 

Was it happening to him as well? She wondered, as if time stood still and yet rushed by at the same time. There would be no embrace, he was still a missionary. Would there?

She stood frozen, one hand on the stroller. Richard stood still, let Zack go, grinned at him, kissed his cheek, and started over to where Tracy was standing... and was intercepted by a super- human flying flash of energy .

"Danny!" It was the first she'd heard his voice. The same, not muffled by a phone, but clear and deep and rich, melodic. She suddenly heard music, even before he approached her. And then it was as if with the music, the darkness receded. It had to in the face of this revelation.

*****

Richard tossed Danny to his shoulder, crushing him in a bear-hug embrace, burying his face in the white collar, eyes closed briefly, in recognition. There's nothing, he thought, nothing between us except air. No Casey, no Raine, no other Dad... he was the dad here....the prick of tears wasn't completely unexpected, just overwhelming as Danny's strong arms, for a six-year-old, squeezed his neck fervently.

 "Richie! I'm glad you're home. You've been gone a long, long, long, long, long, long time!" He kissed his chin, settled back onto Richard's shoulder and turned to glance at his mother, who was staring open-mouthed now, remembering suddenly a time when Danny had been in that position, a morning after a kiss.... We're gonna go watch cartoons... now they became father and son....

How many returned missionaries were met at the airport by their future children and wife? Richard thought and would have come even closer to Tracy, who hadn't moved, but was standing there with a startled doe expression in her bright eyes, but something stopped him.

 Megan had finally got her dexterous little fingers to undo the clasps holding her in place and taking her cue from her adored older brother had climbed on top onto the stroller bar and was about to jump. One step and a slight lean forward and he had her in the other arm, feeling her little arms wrap around his neck tightly, and the wet kiss on his cheek.

"Richie!" She yelled proudly, imitating Danny's greeting. Richard hefted her into his free arm, trembling.

The feeling of impending, overwhelming suddenness came as the transition from missionary to father overwhelmed him. He knelt and set Danny down on his own two feet. He stared at Megan.

Raine's child. He thought, like a litany in his brain. The last time he'd seen her, an infant, with slightly strawberry curls, not this luxurious auburn ponytail, curling around her slender white arms, with her little pixie face that gave away her mother's identity. 

He glanced at the stroller where Melia was sitting still, staring at her traitorous sister, in the arms of a stranger... and yet...

Tracy watched in amazement as the little fingers undid the clasp and the little body wriggled out from under the bar and Melia came to stand at Richard's knee, looking up with those solemn green eyes. The transition from mission to fatherhood was almost complete. The mantle was already lifting. He felt drawn forward, into time and space that existed only in his hopes and dreams. He lifted Melia onto the other arm, heard Danny explaining that this was Melia, but he'd already known...

"There's Princess Mia." He managed as she stared into his eyes with faltering recognition. He wanted to say, I'm gonna be your Dad, for the rest of your life, and then he wondered about sealing her to him and Tracy... and then he'd be her dad for eternity.... He looked up, up and deliberately met Tracy's lip-biting expression.

He saw her visibly shudder, recognized the luminous look in her eyes as a sudden vision assailed him, and tears choked him once more. He felt the shock of recognition well up in him again, as if it came in aftershocks, rumbling through them drawing them ever closer to one central core. He tried to smile, let the girls down and saw that Tracy had picked up the tiny bundle in the car seat. It was his turn to shudder. 

She gave him the baby, and Richard felt his knees go weak.

He felt Zack's hand at his back, delayed reaction, he caught himself and stumbled over to one of the long aisles of chairs and forced himself to sit before he passed out from shock. He finally looked down into the sleeping face of his daughter, the one who had haunted his dreams for the last two months. Every waking moment she hadn't been far from his thoughts, like her mother. He glanced back up at Tracy who had followed. He was shocked at the magnitude of his reaction. Such amazing and joyful emotions he'd never experienced before.

Stewardship, he thought, it's a transfer of stewardship. I am feeling the weight of responsibility. And the joy of posterity... I am feeling the healing of three years of hopes fulfilled. He pulled the blanket back and smoothed the rosebud cheek, feeling the softness, the blessings, and wondered if anything could ever feel so profound. 

Tracy stood close to the side of his chair, holding Megan now who would have run off to explore. "This is Kylie Ann." She said unnecessarily, her voice cracking.

He put a hand up as if to hold hers, thought better of it, and tugged on her hair. "Nothing can match the priceless gift you're giving me." She smiled tremulously, uncertainly and he tugged on her hair again. "This is awesome."

"Hey there, little reconciled family." Zack was saying, "How about we go get this guy released so he can hug you properly?"

Tracy blushed as the impact of Zack's words hit her and she took Kylie from Richard who was lifting one of the twins to put back into the stroller, saying gently what they were going to do. They walked together, the children between them, Melia in the stroller, Megan already working her way out of it, Danny racing along at full speed all around them. Zack was talking but Tracy couldn't hear his words at all. She could only see Richard's hands on the stroller, pushing it, see his feet, in his worn out black shoes, the frayed edges of shirt and jacket. 

It was like she couldn't look up and meet his eyes, not yet.

*****