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Ray McCaffrey stood next to Tracy who had returned to her place, standing beside the grave of her 18-year old brother, and between him and her 21- year old brother, Sam. 

She had finished a very poignant version of Amazing Grace, and there were sniffles all around, even though none of the people present had actually known Ty except Tracy and Sam. Jerry Nelson, their adopted father, had opted not to attend at the last minute, so even the words he might have spoken for his son were absent, as he had been for most of his son's miserable life.

Ray took his daughter's hand. She was very composed. Too composed. 

He realized she was holding in a tremendous amount of pain and sorrow, regret was etched in her eyes, and guilt. He felt the guilt acutely, as he himself knew the pain of having made drastic errors in his youth as well. He had been irresponsible with his passions in his late teens and early twenties, had planted seeds that weren't his to plant, and the results had been a terrible childhood for another person. 

It didn't matter that he'd gone on to marry and have four beautiful, well cared for children and that he had taken his parental duties seriously since then, even since finding out about Tracy. It didn't make up for her lack of real love as a child. It didn't make up for the abuse and neglect this adopted family had provided her. 

He stared at the polished oak casket before him, knowing it held the remains of a bitterly misunderstood, and misguided life. There, but for the grace of God, could have been his own child.

Tracy's outreach into the culture of teenage pregnancy was determined, and obvious. It was a huge statement in his face as the father who hadn't been there for her. Jerry Nelson had been a dead-beat, untrained and irresponsible father, but ultimately, it was not Jerry's right, privilege or duty to care for the child that Ray had fathered, even in his lust and inexperience. He glanced up at her through sudden tears.

He squeezed her hand and she turned to look at him. In that second, he felt the bond that linked them rise up and blossom. The stem of the plant that was their life seemed to twine around them tightly, uncomfortably, and yet without the thorns until it was bound in place, and then the thorns budded. 

For some reason, he could picture this vine that had wrapped them up, as if it were a living thing. He wasn't sure he could explain it if called upon to do so, especially right at this moment. But he knew that until this moment, he hadn't felt that he was Tracy's father. 

His role had never been to support her, not financially, not with advice, by example, or with love and concern. He had simply been a bystander these last eight years, allowing her to come to him, and he watched as she, a stranger, an acquaintance insinuated herself in a mystifying way.

 But he'd never made the connection, never made the commitment. He'd never treated her any differently than he might have a close family friend. He talked to her, called her as he would have a business associate. He admired her talent. But right now... right this minute, standing beside her, as he hadn't at her husband's funeral almost two years ago, he felt the tentacles of parental commitment finally weaving into his own soul.

In that moment he pictured the baby, the waving hands and feet. The child, blonde, pink and sweet, running on a grassy knoll, digging in a sand box, holding a worm. The school girl, hair in a ponytail, playing hopscotch. Piano lessons at a grandmother's insistence, mostly to keep her out of trouble and to capitalize on her incredible musical talents. The beatings, the absences, the lack of understanding, the truth.

He owned it. Parents needed to own their children's childhoods. And now he did. All she had endured was his fault, and his cross to bear. She would never have been standing here if it wasn't for his poor choices. She would never have endured...

In a baby carrier, her infant adopted daughter whimpered. Tracy disentangled herself from his stranglehold on her hand and the vines loosened to allow her access to the baby. 

She leaned over and picked Kylie up, cradling her gently against her breast. The whimpering stopped as security set in. Ray's eyes filled once again with tears of amazement and realization. 

Tracy epitomized the cure for his ailments. He could never give her back the childhood she had lost. He could never instill in her experiences afforded by moments missed and opportunity lost. But right here, as he looked down at the child resting trustingly in her slender arms, he saw the connection. She had turned the pain and sorrow around. Negated it. A huge personal commitment and sacrifice, a human life.

 A life for a life. Her life, for Kylie's life. She, who didn't deserve this.... Who hadn't done anything... and the child who was innocent as well.

Ray immediately saw the connection between what Tracy believed about Jesus Christ and the way she was trying to live her life. Her Savior was innocent, and had suffered, given his own life. He said to follow him. That's what she was doing. The wrongs in her life, she was making better by rectifying them in the lives around her. It was subtle, but brilliant.

It was time for the children to sing. Tracy ardently and assumingly handed the baby to Ray and ushered the six children forward a few steps. There was no stage, no way to have them face an audience. They simply moved a few steps forward and turned. She had them turn to the side. She knelt in front of them and smiled encouragingly. He heard her whisper softly, "Chris, you know the words to this song by heart. Let's sing it for my brother, okay?"

Ray felt the sweetness of childish voices wash over him and in so doing, give those who had made the mistakes the opportunity to rectify their wrongs. He stared down at the precious little bundle in his arms. Her eyes were open, dark and fathomless, her little mouth worked a pucker and her cheeks bloomed with fused pink. "I promise you right now, baby angel, that I will make sure you have what your mommy didn't have, what both your mommies didn't have. A home and leadership, and guidance, and someone to walk with you all the way, to witness your life, and make it secure and hopeful."

One life had ended due to fatal errors of selfishness and lack of commitment. One life had ended because a human being did not know that he was loved, did not know what love was. It couldn't happen again, not in this family....

The clear little voices went on into a third verse, and Ray came out of his reverie. He smiled benignly at the little boys singing so sweetly there, so trustingly, not even understanding why, but knowing that it was for Tracy, and for the love they bore her they would do what she asked.

 Two little girls, wanting to be just like their big brothers, those who would have the experiences to help lead them and guide them. Yes, Tracy was right, this was the right path, the right thing to do, the right move to make.... Families... as she said.... Could be together forever.

*****