*****185:

They'd taken her to the NICU—newborn intensive care unit. When a person entered, they had to check in, then scrub their hands and arms with antiseptic for three minutes minimum. Then they were taken to the incubator to look at their child, only parents could be there, or a designated guardian. She was alone.

Marsha, the labor and delivery nurse that had attended the birth an hour ago, led Tracy to the infant bed Kylie's baby had been taken to. It was several hours past midnight, no other mothers were there. She felt her own fatigue.

"She's not really preemie, just a little small and we had no place to put her, her mother did not want her in the room." Marsha stopped at a clear warming bed, where a tiny baby dressed only in a diaper lay on her back. "This is Nancy, the lactation consultant you asked to speak with." Tracy glanced away from the sleeping infant face to look into Nancy's eyes.

"Can I hold her?" she whispered.

"Why not? You're her mother." Nancy smiled gently and watched as Tracy lifted the sleeping four pound baby into her hands and brought her closer to her face.

"Wake up, my darling, momma's here now." She said and snuggled the baby into her neck and bosom. "I still have milk, I've pretty much stopped nursing the twins, but I'm not dried up. I have to wear pads, and I leak a bit. Can I try and nurse her, or will it not be enough?"

Nancy smiled again. "Are you kidding? How fortunate you are! No, please, try to nurse her. Your supply might be dwindling right now, but the second those little lips touch you, the hormones will kick right back in." She pulled a rolling chair closer and Tracy sat down and adjusted the baby, pulling up her shirt, and unsnapping the nursing bra. "How long did you nurse your twins?" Nancy asked conversationally as Tracy jostled the sleepy baby and rubbed the nipple against her lips to stimulate the rooting instinct.

"They'll be two in December. I nursed them till about a week ago ago."

Nancy laughed. "You should have dried up already! It's amazing that you still have milk."

"It's not the same. She needs her mother's colostrums." Tracy worried.

"I believe you'll find that the hormones in her saliva will stimulate your body to produce what she needs. It may not be colostrums, but it will be very nutritious. Full of natural antibodies, don't worry."

The baby smelled the milk. It wasn't quite familiar mother, but the warm skin next to her cheek, the nipple still tenderly plying her caused her to open her mouth and Tracy did what came naturally. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "I've forgotten how hard newborns suck!"

Marsha and Nancy both laughed merrily. "Isn't this amazing, and fortunate?!" Marsha moved away to record the event on the baby's chart.

"I'll leave you two alone for a few. Call me if you need anything at all, okay?"

Nancy stayed a few minutes asking questions about Tracy's previous birth and nursing experience and then left also. Tracy moved her hair which was down and straggling around her face, out of her way and gazed at the baby.

"Sorry, I missed your birth, princess." She said softly, hoping the baby would open her eyes, but she had them squeezed tightly shut as she nursed. She was still sucking greedily and with a very strong attachment. This was very good, as if the baby had been waiting for just this moment. 

Tracy smoothed her downy soft hair, and she had lots of it, sweet dark lashes, sweet silky soft wisps, not curls as the twins had had. Olive-toned skin, reminding her of the Spanish-American ancestry she purported. 

"My first words to you, angel, should be I love you." Tracy leaned down and kissed the downy soft cheek. The baby unlatched and fell back asleep soundly, satisfied for the moment that she was taken care of, with a tummy full of something anyway, the right something. Tracy felt all the right emotions, amazement, glory in motherhood, overwhelmed, happy-- no joyful....

She hit speed dial. What time was it there? He deserved to know this. 

*****