Ethan curled up under the sheets and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ignore every emotion in his mind. He didn't have much of a memory of that night, but he did know he was terrified and helpless. He couldn't move, couldn't speak, he couldn't do anything except feel.

And he felt so much.

"Ethan?"

The blonde sat up and saw Mickey standing in the doorway, he wiped his eyes.

"Sorry-"

"No, no don't apologize it's been a rough night. Abigail and Cypress left with Hailey, I thought I would tell you."

"Ok, thanks..." Ethan smiled at him, it was a very sad smile.

"Uh, hey-" Mickey sat down on the bed, "you know you can like... talk to me about things right?"

Ethan nodded, "yeah, I know. It's just I'm not sure you would want to hear what's bothering me- it's not what happened tonight, don't get me wrong I hate what happened tonight but it's just... other things."

"If I'm being honest, which I'm going to be, Abigail kind of said something about being drugged-"

"She told you that?"

Mickey nodded, and Ethan looked down. It was almost like he was embarrassed, which he was, but he was also kind of hurt by Abigail.

"I mean, she told me maybe she shouldn't have joked around like she did because of stuff that happened. I asked her what that was and she just said you were drugged and I kind of put it together. You know, cause of... him." Mickey looked away, and Ethan hugged his legs close to his chest.

"Yeah, my ex drugged me at a party and she... she..." it was almost like he couldn't get the word out of his throat, like it was a stuck.

"You don't have to say it, I got it." Mickey patted his shoulder, and Ethan nodded, "that's good though, you're talking about it to people." Mickey smiled and Ethan just nodded again. He didn't seem completely there, but then he looked at Mickey and smiled softly.

"I'm kind of hurt by Abigail though... that she told you without asking me. She totally outed Cypress on having a crush on me this afternoon, she's always had a problem with that stuff but... talking about my ex, that feels more intense."

"Did people know Cypress was gay?"

"To be honest, I knew he found me attractive. But being in love with me? That was kind of out left field for him. He's not very... affectionate, or empathetic. Before the crash he was really shy, almost kind of mute to everyone except Abigail and I, then after the crash he was just... emotionally absent I guess."

"You think he could've been autistic before the crash?" Mickey raised an eyebrow, "I mean, being shy is normal but being mute? That's a little... uncommon."

"No, no I think he had some trauma before the crash. You know that neck issue he has?"

Mickey nodded, "where he flips out when you touch the back of his neck?"

"Yeah, he's always had that. Just wasn't as intense. I think maybe his dad hit him."

"Really?"

"Yeah, after the crash he was totally ruined by his mom dying, but he never mentioned his dad. Whenever we had to do cards for Mother's Day in school he would be super emotional, when it was Father's Day he didn't even mention it."

Mickey nodded, then shrugged, "sounds like he didn't like his dad that much. Have you ever asked his sister?"

Ethan shook his head, "No I wouldn't put her in a position like that, she so emotional and protective about Cypress it's almost like she's the older sibling."

"How was she when you called her? She was pretty upset when she picked him up, that's why Abigail went."

Ethan sighed, "she was pretty hurt, but I think she figured it out before I called her." He looked at Mickey, "he's been looking kind of grim for the past week."

"Huh, wonder why."

The image of the man on the train tracks flashed in Ethan's head, and he flinched at the sight.

"You get the chills?" Mickey gave him a confused look.

"No, it's just..." he looked out the window, it was pitch black out, "Cy and I happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time a couple days ago. You know how he has that cast on his wrist?"

Mickey nodded.

"We got into a fight, he said something pretty fucked up and I dragged him away from Abigail and Evelyn. He got pissed and smashed something on our hands so I would let him go. Then we uh, walked in on someone's suicide."

Mickeys eyes widened, "holy shit, how does that even happen? Smashing your hand then watching a guy kill himself?"

"We were by the train tracks, that's how he found the concrete rock to break his hand... and almost my hand. Then you know, people often go to the train tracks to kill themselves."

"Shit you saw someone get run over by a train?"

Ethan nodded, "and Cypress especially saw the aftermath, I don't know why the hell he stared at the different parts of the guy. Maybe he thought he could fix him."

"Yeah, a lot people think that way from shock. JFK's wife grabbed the part of his skull that was blown off to try and fix him. Guess it was the same situation for Cypress."

"I had to drive him to the hospital afterwards for his hand, and god he was so... broken."

Mickey nodded again, then stood up, "yeah, you were pretty fucked up after finding Cypress in your bathroom. I remember you threw up, and passed out."

"Well, seeing the layers of skin and muscle, and also bone of your friend is pretty awful. And then there was just... so much blood. So much... god." Ethan covered his face, "you didn't see it Mickey, somehow that was worse than seeing that man die."

"Well, I saw my friends brother hanging from his bedroom fan when I was 12 so-" Mickey shrugged, "yeah, suicide is pretty fucked up to see."

"I remember you telling me that, how is Cam?"

"Oh she's dead too, killed herself a couple months back."

"Oh shit, I'm sorry."

Mickey scoffed, "she told me a week before she died she was going to, and said if I tried to stop her or anything like that she was going to kill me too." He shrugged, "she was fucking crazy Ethan, I knew she was going to either kill herself or go to jail for a while."

Ethan thought about that for a bit.

"This is going to sound awful but, should I feel that way about Cypress?"

Mickey sat back down and sighed, "no, no you shouldn't. Cam and Cypress are nothing alike. Yes, they lost family is horrible ways, and yes they were both heroin addicts but Cypress actually likes the friends he has, and wouldn't you know it he loves you." Mickey tapped Ethan's nose with his pointer finger, which made Ethan flinch back.

"Sure, I guess that's true." Ethan smiled, "thanks for talking with me Mickey."

"Of course man, you're nice to talk to." Mickey stood up and opened the door, "things will sort itself out alright? And you can always talk to me about anything ok?" He closed the door.

Ethan laid back down and sighed, he felt much better, still sad, but better.