(No Control | Holding Me Ransom - 78 - There's More To Discover)

I think I'm more excited for Jess's birthday than she is. I set my alarm for six thirty so I can make her breakfast in bed, and when I return to the bedroom with the breakfast tray laden she is still half asleep and looks undeniably adorable as she rubs her eyes with the heel of her hand, her blonde hair sticking up at the back of her head and looking all tousled and sexy. 

"Hey, birthday girl."

"What time is it?" she mumbles.

"Just before seven. I wanted you to wake up in plenty of time to enjoy breakfast and open your presents."

I retrieve said presents and card from my bedside table and set them in front of her on the bed. She opens the card first - she's far more mature than me who would have ripped the paper off the gifts immediately - and grins at the wording on the front ("to my girlfriend") and the picture of the bear holding a balloon.

"That bear looks almost as squidgy as you," she remarks, and I suppress the smile threatening to break on my face. Although I pretend to hate the nickname Squidge, deep down I secretly love it. 

"I'll let you get away with that comment, seeing as it's your birthday," I sniff haughtily.

"Yes it is," she grins, and leans towards me to emphasise her next words. "All day."

I hand her the bracelet. "Open this one first."

She opens it carefully, barely making a tear in the paper, and slides thin box out. Her eyes widen as she opens it, and she looks up at me in surprise.

"Do you like it?" I ask, and to my horror she stares down at it and shakes her head slowly.

My stomach drops. 

"You don't like it?" 

"No!" she says quickly. "I mean, yes. I mean, I love it! Oh my God, Harry. I'm... I'm just lost for words."

Jeez, don't do that to me, woman.

"You had me worried there for a moment," I grin.

"Sorry, I just... I can't believe it," she breathes. "It's incredible. You've spent so much on me already for Christmas..."

I knew she'd be onto that!

"I happen to think you're worth spoiling," I declare firmly. "No arguments."

I take the bracelet out of its slender box and she extends her wrist to me so I can fasten it. She moves her hand back and forth, making the diamonds sparkle brilliantly in the lamp light. I'd forgotten just how lovely it is. Or maybe it just looks even more stunning when it's on Jess - she could make the ugliest thing look beautiful.

My stomach clenches nervously as I hand her the second present - the specially created photo. I'm pretty sure she's gonna love it and I don't take my eyes off her face as she removes the paper. As she turns the frame over to observe the photo I feel I need to explain. 

"OK, so there's a story behind this. The photos were taken of us at the Motorpoint Arena in Sheffield, at the band's final show of the tour. They were taken at exactly the same time, as we were looking at each other. I was singing the last line of Perfect... to you." Her eyes are looking dangerously watery. I feel a strange wave of emotion myself, and fight the small lump that is trying form in my throat. "Obviously we weren't photographed in the same shot," I continue, "but you were smiling at me and I was smiling at you, and I just thought it captured us perfectly... so to speak. And if you look closely you'll notice that it isn't actually just a photograph. All the lyrics I have ever personally written about you, in a song recorded by One Direction, are in this picture. The words make up our hair, if you look closely."

I need to stop saying if you look closely.

I hear her breath catch in her throat. She leans towards the picture to inspect it, and I watch as a tear drops onto the glass. 

"Well I hate to be cliché," she squeaks, "but this is just... perfect."

She grabs me round the neck with both arms and pulls me to her, burying her face in my neck as I stroke her hair. I think it's safe to say this was a hit. 

"Happy birthday, baby," I whisper, and plant a soft kiss on her shoulder.

"I love you," she wobbles through her tears.

"I love you too. Now don't let these croissants go cold," I chastise. "I warmed them up in the oven specially."

~~~~

She leaves for work just before eight and I wait until the local florist opens at nine (the same one that delivered the flowers to her office when we released the Perfect video) and order a large bouquet to be sent to her at lunchtime. She texts me about half past twelve - You're really spoiling me today! The flowers are amazing, thank you so much. Can't wait to get home xxxxx

I spend the afternoon browsing LA real estate websites and send an email to the estate agent (or realtor as they call themselves in the US) for a house that I have had my eye on for a while. I arrange an appointment to view it, and then shoot out to the local Tesco Express and grab a few necessities for Jess for while I'm away. I don't want her to feel weird staying in the house while I'm not there, so I'm sure some home comforts will be appreciated (namely some double deckers, cherry ice cream and prosecco). 

The restaurant for our birthday meal is booked for eight o'clock and I feel a little nervous at the thought of our parents meeting. It's another big step and although I don't doubt for a second that they will get on well, I'm so anxious for the evening to be a success. I know Jess will be nervous too, particularly about letting her dad loose in company. I always feel as though I make a bad impression in front of Alan Bradshaw and I'm aware that my own nerves and eagerness to impress are probably what causes me to fuck it up every time. If I just relaxed I'd probably look like much less of a numpty. And don't even talk to me about Calvin coming - I feel sick every time I think about it.

I take a shower just before Jess gets back and slip my dressing gown on while I pick out a clean pair of skinny jeans and a new shirt. She gets straight into the shower when she arrives home from work, laden with cards and gifts from her work colleagues, and I hear Mum's car pulling into the drive just as Jess is getting out of the shower. 

"Mum and Robin are here," I call up to her. "But don't worry, take your time. We don't have to leave for about forty five minutes." 

"Hi love," Mum beams as I open the door to let them in. She envelops me in a hug and I shake Robin's hand and go to ruffle Gemma's hair but she dodges out of the way.

"You might think you rock the dragged-through-hedge-backwards look," she says in a monotone, "but that doesn't mean the rest of us want to look like the Littlest Hobo." 

I open a bottle of white wine and pour us all a glass while we wait for Jess, and she enters the kitchen just before seven wearing a pair of indigo skinny jeans and a floaty silk blouse that sits on her hips and accentuates her figure perfectly. She's wearing more makeup than she usually does around her eyes, and she looks fucking incredible. Fuckable, in fact, but I decide to keep that comment to myself and let out a wolf whistle instead.

"You look beautiful Jess," Mum smiles as she crosses the kitchen, walks round the island and gives her a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks," Jess smiles shyly - I can tell she hates being the centre of attention like this. 

While she opens her presents and cards from my family I check my phone to make sure our cars are on the way. They arrive at seven thirty on the dot and I usher everybody out the door, eager not to be late to meet Jess's parents. I can't imagine Alan Bradshaw looking kindly upon anyone with poor timekeeping.

When we arrive at the restaurant we're shown to our table: Jess's parents are already there along with Calvin, who looks slightly less murderous than usual, Callie, Nick Grimshaw and Lou Teasdale. Jess and I make the formal introductions while Grimmy pulls a deliberately off-putting enraptured expression, as though he is hanging on my every word. Under normal circumstances I would laugh but I'm too nervous, especially with Calvin watching my every move. Our parents sit down together at one end leaving me to sit between Lou and Calvin, opposite Jess, Nick and Callie. I notice Calvin is paying a lot of attention to Callie, even when he isn't talking to her, and I try not to draw attention to myself as I chat to Lou and Grimmy. Jess is showing her new bracelet to a wide-eyed Callie, who casts me a surprised and impressed look. I'm not deliberately eavesdropping but I can't help catching some of their conversation in between my own as Jess is now showing Callie something on her phone.

"That's probably the most romantic thing I've ever seen in my whole life," Callie murmurs, staring down at Jess's phone. 

"Yeah. Harry comes up with the most amazingly thoughtful gestures sometimes," Jess replies. "He puts me to shame."

I can only guess it's a photo of the picture of us that I gave her this morning.

"He puts us all to shame," Callie muses softly, so quietly I'm not sure I heard right.

"What do you mean by that?" Jess asks, but Callie's reply is lost in a burst of laughter from Alan Bradshaw and Robin.

Jess is looking at her earnestly and I force myself to look away in case either of them catches me watching them.

The waitress appears to read us the specials and take our orders, and Calvin's face breaks into a pearly white smile as he proceeds to flirt outrageously with her, leaning back in his seat and draping his arm along the back of our chairs. 

"Calvin, pack it in," Jess hisses, but Grimmy is cackling on my other side which only seems to spur Calvin on. The waitress gives a smirk over her shoulder as she departs our table, and I can only assume Calvin will be handing his number out to her as soon as he gets chance. At least the whole time Calvin and Grimmy are holding court the attention isn't on me and I can avoid making an idiot out of myself in front of Jess's family.

As we're enjoying our main courses and I'm listening to Jess telling a story about Calvin's shameless flirting in a restaurant on one of her previous birthdays, I sense someone watching me. I look up self-consciously, half expecting to see a phone being discreetly pointed in my direction, as so often happens when I'm out in public. I've sort of developed a sixth sense for it now. I'm surprised to catch Callie's eye, only for her to drop her gaze back to her food. I wait for her to look up again but she doesn't and keeps her eyes steadfastly on her plate. I can sense Callie watching me again while the waitress collects our plates and I'm laughing with Jess about the day we went to Hampstead Heath and I kept filming her on Snapchat and she got really annoyed, but this time I don't look over at Callie. I'm sure whatever opinions she is forming, or whatever hatred she has to spew, she will do so in due course. Undoubtedly when Jess is out of earshot, like she usually does. 

Without warning the lights in the restaurant dim and the music suddenly blares with the opening bars of 'Happy Birthday'. Jess looks up in surprise as a tray of cupcakes makes its way to our table, supported by the waitress who sets it down between me and Jess, birthday candles flickering in the middle of the platter. The entire restaurant sings along while Grimmy snaps away on his phone, grinning.

"You want me to post a pic?" he asks. "Make everyone think you're in London and buy you a couple of days' privacy in LA?"

"Yeah, but give it an hour or so, just in case anyone realises where we are and camps out outside," I reply. 

"Gotcha."

The cupcakes are nothing short of heavenly, and a couple of minutes later Lou stands up to visit the bathroom. Jess follows a moment later in true girl squad style, but Callie remains in her seat and Grimmy shows me the pictures he has taken this evening. 

"Send me these," I smile, searching for Jess's face in each one as he swipes through them. A minute later my bladder is signalling I need a trip to the bathroom imminently so rather than put it off I stand up and make my way across the restaurant to the toilets. As I push open the door and enter the little vestibule with the male and female doors ahead of me, I feel someone behind me. 

"Can I have a word?"

It's the Wicked Witch of the West.

"I don't think now is the time," I answer shortly. The last thing I need is a row under Jess's nose.

"Wait," she begs as I turn towards the gents. "Please. I - I have something I need to say."

I pause, my interest piqued. Her tone isn't its usual hiss; it's softer, pleading. "Go on then."

"I - I was watching you back there. In the restaurant. With Jess."

"And?" I'm being rude, but I am so not in the mood for this.

"I - I saw the way you looked at her. The way you watched her. You were hanging on her every word."

"Okayyy," I answer slowly, unsure where this is going.

"She showed me the bracelet you bought her. It's stunning."

I wait impatiently. 

"And the picture you had made for her. The one of the two of you, with the words in your hair. It's beautiful."

"Right."

"I just think... maybe I've been a bit..."

She looks at me expectantly. I think she's hoping I will reassure her and be nice to her. After the shit she's put me through the last few months she's got another think coming. I stare back at her, waiting for her to continue.

"Maybe I overreacted," she says finally.

"You think?" I can't keep the sarcasm from my voice. She drops her eyes to the floor.

"I just wanted to -"

"To control Jess? To come between me and her? To wreck our relationship?"

She looks up at me in horror. "What? No! Of course not! I would never do that!"

"You tried," I reply bluntly.

"Not on purpose - "

"Bullshit," I snap. "You bad mouthed me at every opportunity. You were always in Jess's ear, bitching and moaning and telling her what a bad person I am."

"I-"

"Don't bother denying it. I'm not stupid. And I don't want to discuss this any further. You've made it crystal clear what you think of me, and that you have no intention of giving me Jess's One Direction stuff back. I'm sick of arguing, I'm sick of trying to prove to you that I'm not the monster you think I am. Like I said before, I'll be civil to you around Jess but that's it. I've had enough." 

"Harry!" she pleads.

"What?" I snap.

"Don't be like this - you can't blame me for being wary."

Wary! Is she having a laugh? 

"I'm really not interested." I turn to leave, but she reaches a hand towards me.

"No - please - don't walk away. I'm sorry." That stops me in my tracks. "I've behaved really badly." 

I resist the urge to agree wholeheartedly. I wait, sensing she has more to say.

"I know you love her," she says softly. "I'm sorry for coming between you. I just wanted to protect her." 

"She doesn't need protecting from me!" I protest, my voice rising, and even as I think we might just have been getting somewhere I catch the faintest sneer on Callie's lips. It's like she's programmed to be a bitch.

"Don't give me that look," I snap, and she jumps as though she has been caught out. She looks at me sincerely, her eyes searching my face. 

"I don't want to argue about this anymore," she says, evenly.

Well that's fucking funny because I never wanted to argue about this in the first place - I was never the one who started any of it. I open my mouth to say as much, but am cut off by the door to the ladies toilets opening. I nearly jump out of my skin, and then my stomach drops to my shoes as I see Jess standing there, her face set and her skin flushed.

"Argue about what?" she asks.

Fuck. 

---***---

An update! Finally! I hope everyone is well :) I'm not going to promise to update regularly because I always break my word, despite being determined every time to finish this book... I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and I'll do another one as soon as I can xxx