(No Control | Holding Me Ransom - 66 - Anyone In Between Is The Enemy)

I'm so full of elation about this holiday that for a second or two it doesn't register that she hasn't said a word.

"We're flying out of Manchester so I was wondering if maybe you wanted to spend Christmas together, at my mum's?" I suggest. "It's fine if you'd rather be with your family, though, I understand. But the invitation is there. Just let me know." I'm talking fast - not like me, I know. "I'm sorry to spring it on you like this; I know it's a bit sudden," I add in a rush. "It sort of only just came about in the last twenty four hours or so."

OK, she's been quiet for a really long time. Was I too pushy? Too excited? Was the invitation for Christmas too much? It can't have been, surely - after the declaration of love at LAX the other day she can't be thinking this is too much too soon. Can she?

"Jess? Are you still there?"

She clears her throat. "Yes, I'm here."

She offers nothing further, and my stomach clenches uncomfortably. Something is wrong, I can tell.

"Baby, don't worry about Christmas at my mum's if you want to be with your family," I assure her. "We'll have the whole week afterwards to be together. Mum and Robin are coming on holiday too."

"And you've already booked it?" she asks flatly. "You can't change the date?"

"Not now, no. Why?" I ask suspiciously, a sinking feeling coming over me.

There's another moment of silence, and then, "I'm so sorry Harry. I can't come."

Is she joking? I wait for the laugh, but it doesn't come.

"Is this a joke?" I ask.

"No," she says softly. "I've just booked to go skiing over New Year with some friends. We've paid the deposit and everything."

Oh jeez... is that all? I was actually worried there for a second. I laugh out loud.

"Oh! Well can't you push it back a couple of weeks? I'm sure your friends will understand."

"I can't - there are too many of us to start changing dates. It's already booked; the flights, the chalet, the lift passes..."

She trails off, her voice wobbling.

Is she actually serious? She's not coming?

"Harry, I'm so sorry," she apologises. "If there was anything I could do to change it, I would. But I can't."

I can't believe this. "You're seriously saying you can't come?" 

"I'm so sorry." 

This has blindsided me. I can't believe she's saying this. There has to be a way around it.

"Jess...," I begin, not even knowing how to articulate the enormity of this week away. "Jess, this is really important to me. I need you there with me. This holiday... it isn't just about spending a week on a boat. Jeff and his family are coming... We're going to be discussing my future management while we're there... Both Irving and Jeff are interested in signing me up... This is a huge step for me and I need you by my side."

I sound like I'm rambling, jumping around trying to explain the full story in a condensed format. 

"Can't you... can't you do that another time?" she mutters, and I feel annoyed that she would even ask this, knowing how big a name Irving Azoff is in the industry. You don't ask Irving Azoff to rearrange his schedule, not even when he's your best mate's dad and especially not when he wants to discuss offering you a management contract worth millions of pounds.

"No," I answer flatly. "This holiday has been suggested by Jeff, after a discussion with Irving. I've told them about my interest in breaking into the film industry, and they both think I've got potential. They're busy people. If they've booked that week, then that's the week we're going."

"Oh," she says softly.

"Can't you change yours?" I push.

"Not with so many of us going," she says apologetically.

"Who's going?" I ask, but I already know the answer. I know who will really be behind this, although how she managed to arrange this at the same time I've arranged a luxury yacht is inexplicable.

"Um, well, Callie -"

I knew it.

"She's the one who has organised it all -"

Of course she fucking was. This girl, I swear to God.

"It was supposed to be a girls-only thing, to take her mind off what happened with James," Jess is saying. "But then more people started showing an interest so it's ended up being a big group of us. I was actually going to ask you if you wanted to come along too, but then I thought maybe it would be better if we went away just the two of us, like we talked about a few weeks ago...."

"Well if there are loads of you going, I'm sure Callie wouldn't mind if you weren't there," I object roughly.

"I think she would," Jess replies, matching my tone. "She's always been there for me, through thick and thin. I've not been able to support her as much as I would have liked through all her heartbreak over James, but this holiday is my chance to put that right. She needs me."

I recognise that arguing over Callie is not the way to go about this conversation. Although fucking Callie is not the only person in this world who needs Jess. The sooner Jess understands this, the better.

"Jess," I start again, after a moment's hesitation, softening my voice even though I want to scream. "Baby, I need you. This is one of the most important moments of my life. It could determine my whole future, not to mention my success without One Direction. I need your support."

"Harry, if there was any other way -" I can hear tears in her voice now, but instead of calming down I feel my temper rising.

"There is," I snap. "You can tell Callie you're putting our relationship first, for a change. She'll get over a broken heart - if she even has a heart at all. This is about you being part of my future, and supporting me in one of the biggest decisions of my life."

"It's not a case of putting our relationship first," she argues tearfully.

"That's exactly what it's about!" I protest, unable to stop myself from releasing my anger. "You put her first, every single time! She always comes between us - why can't you see that? I've tried really hard to bite my tongue, Jess, but I won't be held to ransom by that girl any longer! You're not being fair to me!"

"Held to ransom?" she repeats, her voice loaded with confusion. "By Callie? What's that supposed to mean? I don't put her first at all! I left her in pieces only two weeks ago to fly to LA with you!"

"Yeah - after you'd bombed off my X Factor performance!" I shout. "Or had you forgotten that?"

"Harry - "

"Or what about the time she turned up at your flat when I was there, before we'd got back together properly and we'd been.... y'know, getting close?" I hurl, my cheeks warming at the memory of my, er, 'overexcitement' that day. I still feel embarrassed every time I think about that. "She practically kicked me out the second she arrived, and you just stood by and let her!"

"That evening had already been planned before you turned up unannounced," she counters, but I'm just getting into my stride now, and there's no stopping me.

"You sent me packing, even though I told you I wouldn't be back in London for another couple of weeks, all because she demanded your attention!" I rage. "All I wanted to do that night was be with you, after a shit few months without you and fucking Georgia Fowler taking me for a fool, but you wouldn't put me first! I'm sick of her calling the shots with us; I'm walking on eggshells constantly, trying to do the right thing, yet she's always there waiting in the wings for me to fuck up. I'm living on a fucking knife edge!"

"I told her off for the way she spoke to you," she protests. "I told her to pack it in. I defend you to her all the time!"

"You shouldn't have to!" I growl. "She should keep her nose out!"

"Where is all this coming from?" she asks desperately. "You've never mentioned anything about this before. You've always accepted Callie as part of my life."

I can't tell her any more without giving away the real reason behind my beef with Callie. And I've already been through this in my head - the only winner if all that comes out is Callie.

"I've been trying to keep the peace," I tell her, which is the truth. "I don't want to be the cause of you and her falling out. But I'm coming to the end of my tether with it. She interferes way too much, and I've had enough."

"She doesn't interfere at all!" Jess defends.

"Really?" I snap, loading my tone with sarcasm. "So she has never once passed comment on our relationship and told you she doesn't trust me?"

"I - how do you know about that?" she asks incredulously, and I realise I have overstepped the mark.

"A lucky guess," I fib. "So I'm saying again: she needs to butt out, before she ruins this for us."

For a couple of seconds all I can hear is the sound of her breathing. Then she says, in a softer, more resigned voice, "OK. I hear you. I'll speak to Callie again, tell her to back off -"

"No, don't," I snap. Christ, that's the last thing I want. If Callie gets wind of any of this conversation she'll only manipulate it to her advantage to turn Jess against me. "This conversation is none of her business," I add.

"Harry," Jess chides, with an air of someone who is picking her words carefully to avoid inflaming the situation, "now you're not being fair. You're telling me she needs to butt out but how can I get her to do that if I don't speak to her about it? You can't expect me to cut her out completely."

"I don't expect that at all," I reply, equally as calmly. "I just don't want every word said between us repeated back to her."

"Seriously, where is this coming from?!" she snaps, apparently losing her cool. "I don't do that; I would never do that! Don't you think after all this time together that I know how important your privacy is - how important OUR privacy is? The fact that you think I would betray you like that upsets me, and indicates you have a very low opinion of me!"

I feel instantly humbled. Of course I know that she understands my need for privacy. Of course I know she wouldn't betray me. I need to rein in my anger.

"Of course I don't have a low opinion of you," I sigh. "I think the world of you, you know that."

"Then what's with all the accusations?! All this has come out of nowhere, all because I've already booked to go away at New Year!"

I can see how she thinks that, because that's exactly how it looks. She doesn't know all the shit I've put up with from Callie, or how Callie is manipulating everything behind the scenes. I need to exercise some damage limitation.

"I'm sorry for what I just said," I mutter. "Ignore that stuff about Callie, I'm just being oversensitive."

"Alright," she concedes, but she doesn't sound happy. "But it doesn't change the fact that I can't come away with you. I'm sorry."

"I'm gutted, Jess," I tell her bluntly. "This break means everything to me. I want - no, I need your support. I don't want to go without you."

I can't believe I'm having to.

"I'm sorry," she sighs. "I want to come, of course I do. If we'd talked about this forty eight hours ago, it would have been a very different conversation. But Callie asked me first, and it's booked. If you'd asked me first, I would have come with you instead."

"Well that's something I suppose," I huff. If only I'd made time sooner to discuss this with her. None of this is her fault, yet I'm punishing her as though it is.

"Please don't be angry with me," she pleads. "Please try and see this from my point of view. If you were in my position I'd like to think you wouldn't cancel on a friend to come away with me if it was already planned."

She's got me there. I wouldn't let a friend down. I bite my lip, unwilling to admit that she's right.

"So, you're going to be discussing a possible swerve into acting?" she says after a couple of seconds of silence, a forced cheerfulness to her tone.

"Yeah," I mutter grudgingly. "There are a few new big film projects beginning next year, and both Jeff and Irving are well-placed to set up some auditions for me, if I want."

"That's amazing, Harry!" 

"Mmph," I huff.

Under normal circumstances I would welcome her enthusiasm and relish the opportunity to hear her opinions on my future aspirations, but right now I'm too annoyed at the whole situation to talk about it with her. I've gone off the whole idea.

"So, who else is going on holiday with you?" she presses.

"Well Jeff and his family, obviously... um, Jeff's girlfriend Glenne, my mum and Robin, Kendall and her mum, and possibly Kendall's boyfriend but I'm not sure yet, maybe one of her friends instead, and possibly Cindy and Rande but they haven't confirmed yet."

"Kendall as in Jenner? And Cindy as in Crawford?"

"Yep. Jeff asked Kendall earlier, and then of course Kris jumped on board straight away." I can't help the sarcasm that has crept into my voice.

"You don't sound happy about that?" she suggests tentatively, and I sigh and roll over onto my back on the bed.

"Don't get me wrong, Kris is alright. She's just all about the fame, and being spotted in the right place at the right time. She's obsessed with maintaining their public status as a family, whereas you know me, I prefer to stay under the radar as much as possible."

I can feel my frustration slowly beginning to fade, and guilt setting in for making such a fuss over New Year and Callie.

"So who's going skiing with you?" I ask, trying to get the conversation back to normal. "Is Sarah going too?"

"No, she isn't really part of that group of friends," Jess says with a yawn. "Callie's sister is coming, along with a few of my friends from uni that I haven't seen in forever, and a couple of guys that Callie knows..."

Guys? Wait, not that stupid twat Barry who was making a play for Jess earlier in the year while we were apart -

"Is Gary going?" I ask abruptly.

"Gary? You mean Gary from my office?"

"Yeah."

"No, he's not friends with them either," she replies casually.

"They were all at the Big Weekend together," I point out.

"Well, yeah, but that was because I organised that," she explains. "I invited a few close friends. But Callie wouldn't invite them, as they're not really her friends, they're mine."

"Oh right." I'm trying not to sound moody, or jealous, or petty. I don't think it's working.

"Would it have been a problem if he was going?" she asks delicately.

I can't lie to her. "I have to be honest and say I wouldn't have liked it," I admit. "But I know that's my issue, not yours. But it doesn't matter anyway if he's not going," I add quickly.

There's more silence on the other end of the phone, and just when I'm starting to worry that I've annoyed her by bringing up Barry, Jess says, "Maybe when you're back next week you could meet some of my friends properly? I think if you got to know Callie you might actually like her. She's very loyal, and if the two of you spent some time together I think you would get on."

Ha! I want to laugh out loud. There is no way on this earth that I will ever like Callie. The best anyone can hope for is a civil tolerance. 

But hang on - if I have to be in the same room as her it would be a good opportunity for her to see with her own eyes that I am not treating Jess badly, and then she might find it in the depths of the cavity in her chest where her heart should be to give me Jess' motherfucking One Direction merchandise and leave us in peace. 

Out loud I say, "Yeah, I suppose that's not a bad idea, now you mention it."

"Great!" Jess exhales. "I'll find out when she's free and maybe we could go for dinner somewhere, or even just watch a film and have a few drinks or something."

"Sounds good," I smile, thinking maybe this was the answer all along and that I have been coming at this all wrong for weeks. "I love you," I tell her. "I'm sorry for snapping before."

"I love you too. I hate letting you down about the holiday. I want to be there for you so badly."

Ugh. My heart sinks. I had momentarily forgotten she isn't coming on the yacht with us.

"Let's not talk about it anymore," I dismiss. "What are your plans this weekend?"

"I dunno, maybe some Christmas shopping or something. I've usually started by now, I've left it really late this year."

"Hmm, I've been doing some Christmas shopping of my own lately," I tease. "Well, research, anyway."

"Research?" she echoes. "What kind of Christmas present requires research?!"

"You'll have to wait and see," I grin, and she immediately scolds me for piquing her interest.

We chat for another few minutes before someone knocks on my door and we say our goodbyes. I sit on my bed and devour the tray of food from room service, and then after catching up on a few calls and texts I flick the TV and get into bed to enjoy and evening of peace and quiet and doing nothing.