(No Control | Holding Me Ransom - 51 - Best I Ever Had)

November 2015

The bed beneath me dips, gently rousing me into consciousness. My senses come to me one by one. The feeling of movement and warmth beside me. The sound of covers rustling and soft breathing. The delicate scent of familiarity - tropical shampoo, accompanied by the unique smell of her, and the crude lingering hint of sex. The taste of my own morning breath, which quite frankly is fucking disgusting. And finally, the sight of Jess - the love of my life - lying next to me in my bed, smiling shyly.

"Hi," she whispers.

"Hi," I whisper back. "You're beautiful."

She beams, and I can't help beaming back.

"You are," she argues.

"You are," I repeat, grinning stupidly and reaching my arm out towards her before I realise she is now wearing a tight camisole beneath the duvet. "Why do you have clothes on?"

"I was cold, and needed a wee," she replies, and my grin widens.

"I need a wee too," I tell her. "I love how we can share these things."

As stupid as it sounds, these are the moments I have missed the most. The pointless, mundane conversations that have no boundaries. The ability to share anything and everything with her, including the fullness of my bladder. Which right now, is bordering on uncomfortable.

"I love you," she says softly, tucking her hand beneath the pillow and adjusting her head as she looks at me. Her eyes are bright and sparkling, and her skin looks soft and clear. I dread to think how I look in comparison, with my hair matted into a knot at the back of my head, and an oil slick on my nose. Not to mention the dreaded morning breath, although it's not like we haven't kissed first thing in the morning before.

"I love you too, baby," I reply in the same tone. "How do you look this good after so little sleep?"

"Because you're probably still drunk," she suggests, at which I scoff impatiently.

"Nonsense. You always look amazing. You looked incredible last night, at the show. I couldn't take my eyes off you."

"You gave me butterflies every time you looked at me," she confesses a little shyly, and this causes my stomach to flutter in response. I can't resist kissing her, just because she's lovely, and she makes me so fucking happy. Unfortunately, the change in position has a direct effect on my bladder, pushing it from uncomfortable to critical.

"I really need a wee," I mutter, rolling onto my back to ease the pressure. "Why don't you go downstairs and make me a brew, and I'll meet you back in bed after my wee?"

I grin at her as she rolls her eyes, not really expecting her to comply with this request, but to my surprise she climbs out of bed with an exaggerated sigh, and pulls on a pair of my boxer shorts.

"It's a good job you're drop dead gorgeous, Styles," she mutters. "You get away with murder."

"Are you really going to make me a brew?" I grin delightedly.

"You asked didn't you?" she counters, with a shrug and a smile. "I don't mind. I don't think anyone's up yet anyway. I'll be really quick."

She hurries round the bed to give me a quick peck (mental note - I'm going to brush my teeth right now) and then scurries silently out of my room, shutting the door behind her. I leap out of bed to answer the now-urgent call of nature in the ensuite, vigorously brush my teeth and wash my face. I pull on a clean pair of boxers, having decided to check Jess is OK and hasn't been accosted half-naked by any stray members of my family that may already be up. 

As I enter the kitchen she has her back to me and I pause for a moment to take in the beauty of her arse in my shorts, and the way her hair spills down her back. She looks fucking incredible. She looks fuckable. Right here, right now. 

She pours hot water into two cups sitting on the worktop (I wait until she is finished, as last time I crept up on her like this she slopped hot tea all over one of my shirts that she was wearing) and as she opens the top cupboard to put the tea bags away I step up behind her, the memory of the morning after our first night together fresh in my mind and causing a stir in my underwear. I can't resist pressing my lips into the curve of her neck as I reach around her front and gently cup her breasts through her vest.

"I could seriously bend you over this worktop right now and fuck you into oblivion," I breathe into her ear.

She moans my name softly and leans back against me, pressing her arse right onto my dick. Fuck, that feels good. I let my fingertips gently pinch her nipples and she sighs again.

"Aaaaaand that's my cue to leave." 

I take a loud involuntary gasp of breath, stepping back from Jess in horror as I recognise the voice that has just spoken as belonging to my sister. I look up to see Gemma scurrying past us, staring hard at the floor with her fingers in her ears. 

"I'm leaving, it's fine!" she adds without looking up but I grab her arm to stop her, unable to believe she is here, that she heard what I said, and probably saw what we were doing. I thought everyone was asleep?!

"Where were you?!" I demand.

"I was outside," she replies uncomfortably. "I came down to let Olivia out, made myself a cup of tea, and then went outside to shoo her back in."

The cat. Of course.

"I thought I was the only one down here," Jess squeaks from behind me. "Sorry."

"At least it was only me," Gemma points out, with a smirk. "Imagine if it was Mum? Or Robin? Or Aunty Dee?!"

I feel heat rush to my cheeks at the thought of any of those people witnessing me pinching my girlfriend's nipples and telling her I want to fuck her over the worktop.

"Don't say anything," I plead to Gemma.

"Like what?!" she says, staring at me in disbelief. "Believe me, I do not want to repeat what I just heard. Gross." And with that, she turns and exits the kitchen, Olivia the cat scampering after her.

"We need to stop getting caught by your sister," Jess states, her face also pink and flushed.

"Tell me about it," I mutter uncomfortably. "Now, where's my brew, woman?"

We are just climbing back into my bed with our brews when we hear Mum and Robin's door at the end of the hall clatter open. I take a moment to thank all the Gods of the universe that it was only Gemma that caught us, and not Mum, and that we hadn't been doing anything worse.

And now that people are getting up and going downstairs, it means we are less likely to be overheard up here....

I put my cup down on my bedside table and scoot over onto Jess's side of the bed, rolling on top her and pressing my lips to hers. She puts up no resistance as I lower my full weight onto her.

"You look way too sexy in my underwear," I whisper, and she strokes her fingertips down my back and then slips her hands into my boxers to give my bum a squeeze.

"Mmm, squidgy."

Squidgy.

Fucking squidgy.

That's going to be written on my gravestone, isn't it? I can see it now.

"Squidgy," I repeat out loud. "I work out solidly for the last four months, maintaining this toned physique, and I get squidgy."

She laughs in my face, and I stare at her with my lips pursed together, trying to look annoyed.

"You are going to pay for that," I threaten, before kissing her softly on the lips.

"I highly doubt it," she says cockily, between kisses.

"Just wait."

Damn, she's so fucking sexy. How have I survived this long without her? I can't resist kissing her neck gently, relishing the taste of her skin and once again finding her nipples with my fingers. I just can't leave them alone, and the way she squirms beneath me tells me she doesn't want me to stop.

"Oh no," she murmurs as I graze my tongue across her collarbone, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Such torture. Please stop making me pay."

My mouth tugs into a smile and I lift my gaze to meet hers. "You are really asking for it." 

She rolls her eyes at me, and I swallow a laugh at her defiance. "Do your worst," she sasses. 

I am struck by a sudden, perverse desire to hold her completely at my mercy.

"Oh, I intend to," I breathe softly. "Just don't say I didn't warn you."

She says nothing, and lets me dip my head down to her chest where I replace my fingers with my tongue against the bud of her nipple. She sighs, her eyes closing and her fingertips pressing hard into my hair. I slide my tongue across her skin, letting my fingers drift slowly down her body to her waist, where I hook them over the band of her pants and pull them down her legs. She opens her eyes to watch me, and I flash her a wicked smile. I tease her for a minute, stroking my fingers up her calf to her inside thigh, edging tantalisingly close to where I know she is already wet, before skipping across to her opposite leg and doing the same. I risk a peek at her face, and she is giving me bitch-look with one eyebrow raised and the corner of her mouth curling into a smirk. I smile angelically back at her, and lean in for a kiss. She reaches out to my rock hard dick as our lips meet briefly, but I pull back from her and curl my fingers around her wrist, pulling her hand away. I know if I let her touch me I will lose all control and this little game will be over in seconds. 

"What are you doing?" she murmurs, putting up no fight as I return my fingers to the top of her leg, and softly whispering my name again. Oh god, I want to be inside her.

"Have I ever told you how hard it makes me when you moan my name like that," I rasp in her ear, and she gives another groan of desire and tries for the second time to touch my dick. It takes every ounce of resolve I have to push her hand away.

"Have some self-restraint," I murmur against her skin.

"I can't. Not when you tell me you're hard for me."

"I'm always hard for you." I'm not even joking.

She pulls my face away from her breasts and presses her lips to mine hungrily. "Stop teasing me," she grumbles, and I give her a little of what she wants, sliding one finger slowly inside her, earning a sigh of relief.

"Better?" I murmur. 

She doesn't answer, but makes a third attempt to curl her warm fingers around my now rock-hard dick, and this time I can't bring myself to stop her. It feels too good. 

As she rolls her hand excruciatingly slowly up and down she circles my tip with the soft pad of her thumb, causing my hips to buck involuntarily. I push a second finger inside her, lost in the moment and the feeling slowly building my groin. Her tongue slides into my mouth and she tightens around my two fingers, as she always does when she's getting close...

Fuck - I'm supposed to be making her pay! 

I quickly withdraw my fingers from her warmth and she opens her eyes in alarm. 

"What are you doing? Why have you stopped?"

"Oh, sorry, baby," I apologise, smoothly. "Are you close?"

"Yeah," she sighs, and so I stroke my fingers slowly across her stomach, giving her time to pull back from the edge. When I slip my hand between her legs again I know it will take a minute to build her back up. And when I do finally let her come, it's going to be fucking explosive.

She pulls my shorts down as I slide one, and then two fingers back inside her again. As I begin to move them in and out she rolls onto her side, hooking her leg over my waist, taking my shaft in her hand and stroking slowly up and down, mimicking my own rhythm. She presses her lips to mine, and within only few seconds her hand is moving faster and faster up and down as I bring her back to the edge again. She pulls my hair gently with her other hand, and I force myself to pull away from her, under the guise of pushing her onto her back.

"Harry!" she whispers in a hoarse voice. I can hear the frustration in her tone, at being so close to reaching her peak twice, only to have it snatched away. I fight to conceal my smirk.

"I want to make love to you," I whisper back, opening her legs and nestling between them, making sure I take my time lining myself up, letting her lose the feeling yet again. This is way too much fun. I need to do this to her more often. She's ready to kill me.

By the time I enter her slowly, she isn't bothering to conceal her desire. She grabs my bum and pulls me in as deep as I can go, whimpering softly in my ear as her ankles lock together around my waist, holding me in place. I never thought to ask if I needed to put on a condom - she would have stopped me if I did.

I begin to move inside her, closing my eyes at the feeling of warmth enveloping me, focussing on the taste of her lips and the softness of her breath. She is squeezing me with her hands, her breathing increasing, and I catch myself just in time as I realise she is about to come. 

I stop dead, remembering I am supposed to be teasing her, and her eyes fly open in alarm. 

"Are you OK? Do you need to stop?" she asks, in a strangled but understanding tone.

"I'm fine," I smirk.

"OK, so let's go," she says impatiently, lifting her hips off the bed to encourage me to resume my pace. "What's the matter? Are you close or something? I am too, it's fine."

"Oh I know you are," I murmur in delight, punctuating my glee with a little kiss on her nose.

"Well come on!" she hisses, jiggling her bottom again.

"Tut tut, patience," I scold sarcastically.

"You are such a tease!" she protests, and I flatten myself on top of her to halt her movements. She gives a sigh of contentment as this pushes me inside her as far as I can go. I smirk.

"I'm a tease, am I?" 

She groans softly as I start to move again, her eyes closing now and her legs squeezing my waist tightly. She lets out another puff of air, in desperation this time, followed by, "don't stop." 

I can't stop the grin spreading across my face. I have her right where I want her, just as I planned. This is fucking awesome.

"What's it worth?" I tease in her ear.

"Harry!" This comes out as a strangled moan, as she tugs my hair and thrusts her hips hard towards mine. I can't toy with her any longer - I'm too close myself now. Her frustration has turned me on way more than I anticipated.

For the last time I plunge into her hard, fucking her now and chuckling at what I have just managed to do to her and listening to her whimpers in my ear as I grunt, "Don't start what you can't finish," just before I lose control and surrender to the rush flooding my body.

It's fucking incredible. The stop-start tactic has certainly worked for me. I'm currently experiencing one of the most powerful orgasms of my life, only intensified by the knowledge that she is too. I can feel her legs trembling around my waist, and I swallow her squeaks of pleasure with my mouth on hers, feeling closer to her than ever before. 

When it's over, I can't resist grinning triumphantly, and of course gloating just a little.

"Told you I'd make you pay." 

"Were you doing that on purpose?!" she hisses, smacking her hand across my bum cheek as I roll onto my back and put my arms behind my head smugly.

"Yep."

"You... you...," she stammers, clearly furious at being punished like this, but unable to be mad at me because I've just made her come harder than I've ever made her come before.

"Worth it though, wasn't it?" I smirk, staring straight ahead at the ceiling, waiting for her wrath.

"You're a pig."

I love it when she's cross like this.

"I love it when you talk dirty to me."

She pushes my shoulder with the heel of her hand and I laugh in her face, extending my arm to pull her into a hug. 

"Just admit it, I just gave you possibly the best sex of your entire life."

"Hmm," she muses. "Last night was better."

"Really?" 

"Only because it had been so long since we'd been together," she admits grudgingly, and I suppose she is right.

"Yeah, OK, I'll give you that one. Second best sex, then."

"I don't think I could pinpoint the best ones," she says, shaking her head. "I mean, the night we met was pretty hot."

"So was the morning after," I add. "And your first night in LA."

"Every night in LA was hot," she grins.

"And day," I remind her. "Don't forget the time in the pool."

That's up there in my top five.

"The pool was pretty awesome," she agrees.

"That was a first for me," I tell her softly, after a moment. "You know - without a condom. I'm glad it was with you."

She kisses my shoulder, and as I gently caress the soft skin of her upper arm I remember we didn't use one just now, or in fact last night either.

"Were we OK not using one before?" I ask, although I already know the answer. I trust her not to screw me over.

"Yeah, I'm on the pill," she nods. "I would never take that risk. Again," she adds meaningfully. Obviously we risked it once, in the pool in LA. And maybe once again after that when I got carried away and she had to stop me. But never since then. 

"I assumed so, but I wanted to check," I reply, needing her to understand that I'm not taking this sort of stuff lightly. It isn't just her responsibility to make sure we're careful. Even though I have been a little lax in that department. I make a mental note not to take her for granted. 

We fall silent, and I let my mind wander back to that week she spent in LA with me at the start of our relationship, before everything went tits up. A sudden memory flashes through my mind of her yelling at me in Karen's office, raging about falling for me in LA. I never got to the full story about that - she was too furious at the time to elaborate.

"You once said... you fell for me in LA," I begin shyly, and then let the sentence hang, hoping she will pick it up and explain without me having to ask outright.

"I think I fell for you before then, I just didn't admit it to myself," she replies, looking at the wall and not at my face. "There were a couple of times I kind of thought it, but I disregarded it because it seemed too soon. We'd barely known each other a month... But then I realised I was just in denial, and I was head over heels for you."

"When?" My heart is thumping and my stomach feels strangely fluttery.

"When what?"

"When did you realise?"

"When I cried over the Wiz Khalifa video," she mumbles, still without looking at me. "You were being impossibly cute and sweet, and I remember thinking in my head Oh fuck, I love you. I was terrified."

I remember this moment so well. I called her 'baby' for the first time, and she didn't give me any sass, or throw it back at me. And she called me 'amazing'. I was already in pretty deep by that point.

"Why were you terrified?" I ask, frowning as she presses her face into my shoulder.

"I was worried I would scare you off by accidentally letting it slip in front of you."

"I was falling for you too," I admit, in a whisper. "It took me longer than you to realise it, though. But I was."

"When did you realise?" she asks, and I smile as I reach over her to grab my phone off the floor to show her the exact moment, because it is captured in an image and saved on my lock screen. I press the button to light up the phone and show her her own photo, her eyes sparkling, a wisp of hair across her face, her expression so full of love for me. I never want her to look at me any other way ever again. I never want to forget how that look makes me feel.

"I realised at this exact moment," I explain. "We were walking along the river and I'd pulled you up, away from Mum and Robin, to show you the view."

"I remember," she says, smiling wistfully.

"You just looked so beautiful gazing into the distance," I murmur softly. "I went to take a picture of you and as you turned around you just took my breath away. It was the expression on your face, the way you were looking at me... that's when I realised." I can picture this moment in my mind like it was yesterday. I can still remember feeling as though I had been punched, but in a really good way, if that's even possible. "And I was going to tell you, but Gemma interrupted us, and then I wimped out. I didn't know if you felt the same way. You dodged the question when we had that meeting with Karen, and that made me think maybe you didn't. It took me days to pluck up the courage to tell you."

"Oh Harry," she sighs, reaching up to kiss me.

"I love you so much," I whisper, kissing her back.

"I love you too."

I swear those words will never get old as long as I live.

---***---

Hello again! How are you all? I hope you enjoyed this chapter - please don't forget to vote if you did (and comments are always awesome too)!

Anyone watching lovely Louis on X Factor?? The LiLo hug tonight got me like 😭😭😭! I don't think I'll ever feel the same way about the solo boys as I do about One Direction! It got me thinking - which do you all prefer? Band or solo boys? And why?