(No Control - 64. Fireproof, second part)

"OK, so I have an idea for this one," Nick grins, and my heart sinks. "I think you should ring her up and ask her for her advice on buying women's underwear, for you to wear, because it's your fetish."

I groan and close my eyes, and he laughs at my discomfort. "Do I have to?" I whine.

"It's either that or delete her number, live on air," he reminds me again.

"OK, OK," I sigh. "Don't make me laugh, though," I warn, as the call connects, and begins to ring. After a couple of rings she diverts it and Grimmy hastily cuts it off before her number is broadcast across the nation via her voicemail.

"Ah, she's at work, she can't answer," I say in relief, but then I hear the ringing sound again, and I look over at Grimmy who grins at me.

"We need to be persistent," he says.

I wait with trepidation, and my heart sinks further when I hear her voice answer in a hushed tone, "Hello?"

Forgive me, Jess, for what I am about to do.

"Hey!" I say cheerfully.

"Hi," she says warily. "What's up?"

"Nothing, you?" I stall.

"I'm at work!" she says, a little exasperatedly. "I thought it was important!"

"It is," I say quickly.

"OK... so what's up?" she probes. "Have you spoken to Modest or something?"

Fuuuuuuuuuuck. So much could go wrong right now.

"No no, it's not that," I rush.

"Have you not rung them yet?" she asks.

"Um, no not yet," I reply, panicking a bit. I don't want to arouse her suspicion to make her say something that could be potentially damaging to me or the band, or reveal anything about our relationship.

"Oh, sorry - can't you talk?" she says quietly, and I clear my throat, nervously as I quickly prepare what I am going to say.

"Um, not really... yeah... so I need your help with something," I begin.

"Okaaayyy," she says. She can sense something is up. She's never going to fall for this.

"I need you to come shopping with me. I need some new underwear," I declare.

"What?" she giggles. "Why do you need me for that?"

"Well, I want to get some girls' underwear. For me," I add. "I like the way it feels."

Beside me Nick snorts and covers his mouth, and I feel laughter rising in my chest.

"Um, what did you just say?" Jess says, nervously.

I pause a moment to swallow my laugh.

"Um, I borrowed some of Gemma's a while back and I sort of developed a bit of a liking for it," I say on impulse, and Nick swiftly turns away, his shoulders shaking silently.

There is a pause on the line, and I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to think of something serious so I don't laugh and ruin it.

"Let me get this straight - you've been wearing Gemma's underwear?" Jess says, sounding horrified.

The thought of me wearing Gemma's silk knickers almost breaks me, and I pinch my nose between my fingers to stop my laugh again.

"Yep," I say shortly, because that's all I can manage.

"Okayy," she says, and the line goes silent. I turn away from the mic to compose myself, and then Jess asks, "Does Gemma know you wore her underwear?"

"Wear," I correct her. "Not wore. It wasn't just the once. I like it, and I want some of my own."

Grimmy lets out another snort and I turn away again, my hair brushing the mic.

"What - what kind of underwear?" she stammers.

Oh God, poor Jess. She's stressing.

"You know, like silky, frilly stuff," I choke out, as Grimmy gasps beside me.

I turn to look at him, and he has tears rolling down his cheeks. Another laugh bubbles up inside me and I have to look away from his hysterics to keep my composure.

Jess is saying something about not being able to talk about this right now, because Sarah is calling her. Shit, Sarah must be listening and is onto us.

"Wait, I need you to help me out with this!" I cry. "Should I go for knickers or a thong?"

Nick cackles quietly in my ear and I nudge him, grinning.

"Wh...which do you prefer?" she gulps.

"I think silk knickers," I muse, enjoying myself now. "I like the way they feel against..." I have to pause so contain my hysteria. "Against my bum," I finish.

"OK, so go for those and I'll talk to you later," she replies, and I get the feeling she is hurrying me off the phone so she can go and quietly freak out somewhere.

"Wait, what colour?" I ask.

"Harry, I'm going to get into trouble!" she pleads. "I really have to go."

"Just tell me what colour!" I insist.

She's never going to forgive me for this.

"I don't know - black?" she says, and then her voice changes. "Harry, where are you?"

Ah, shit, she's getting suspicious.

"Just... just in the car," I lie. "I'll let you go now. Thanks for that."

"OK," she says, sounding relieved.

Nick grins at me and nods.

"Just one more thing before you go, Jess," I say quickly.

I love you.

Ha! Imagine!

"Do you ever listen to Nick Grimshaw on Radio One's breakfast show?" I say gleefully, and there is a stunned silence for about two seconds.

"Oh my God, Harry," she cries, and Grimmy and I can't contain our screams of laughter any longer.

"Hi Jess," Grimmy says down the mic.

"You absolute arse...." she starts to shout, but he interrupts her.

"You're live, don't swear!"

"I'm live right now?" she gasps. "On the radio?"

"Yeah," I answer, still laughing. "We're doing Call or Delete."

"I am going to kill you both," she says bluntly, and we laugh harder at this.

"Sorry Jess," Grimmy says gleefully.

"You..," she breathes. "I thought you were my friend!"

We exchange grins.

"You took it very well, especially the part about Harry liking the feel of silk on his bum," he observes.

"I do not want to talk about the feel of silk on Harry's bum," she says shakily, and this sets us off again. "I hate you both," she continues. "I can't believe you would do that to me! You know how gullible I am! I thought it was some sort of life-changing admission or something."

I can't believe she fell for it quite so spectacularly.

"Sorry Jess," I beam.

"Yeah, sorry Jess," Grimmy repeats.

"Pfft, you couldn't sound less sorry if you tried," she mutters, but I know she's smiling too. I can hear it in her voice. It's beautiful.

"I have to go. I have a feeling my whole office has been listening to this," she sighs.

"The whole country's been listening to this," Nick corrects her.

"Thanks for the reminder," she chuckles. "Drinks are on you Grimmy next time I see you."

"Sure," he laughs, pulling an excited face at me.

"And tell your curly haired friend he's not invited," she teases.

"Hey!" I interrupt.

"Bye," she says pointedly, and we say goodbye and Grimmy cuts the call off.

"Well, I think we can safely say she fell for that hook, line and sinker," he says gleefully, and high-fives me. "I gotta hand it to you - that was ingenious. Do you actually wear Gemma's underwear or something? You were way too convincing."

I laugh. "No, Gemma wears like full briefs. I've seen them hanging all around her flat. Big granny knickers. They're huge," I joke. After all, this is the perfect opportunity to take the piss out of Gemma without enduring it back.

"Mmm, nice," Grimmy says pulling a face. "Oh well - I know where to go if I ever need advice on frilly knickers."

"Yeah, you're more likely to need that kind of advice than me," I grin.

"She kept very calm, didn't she," Grimmy remarks, giving me a knowing look. "She's a honey.... but I guess you already know that."

He raises an eyebrow at me.

"Maybe," I reply, coyly, and Grimmy introduces Steal My Girl and switches our mics off.

"That was fucking amazing," he says, sitting back in his chair. "She's definitely a keeper. I gotta admit, I was a bit worried in case she spilled the beans about your relationship or something."

"Yeah, I nearly shit my pants when she mentioned Modest," I nod.

"What did she mean about that?"

I tell him about the meeting I need to schedule, and our plan to go public, and Grimmy is thrilled for us. After Steal My Girl has finished I chat to him for a few more minutes and then say goodbye, and thank Radio One for having me.

I have a quick text conversation with Jess, during which she tells me I am in trouble and I tell her she is cute, before Dale and Mike arrive and escort me to the back entrance which is now swarming with paps and fans. I spend a few minutes getting pictures with them all, and then get back in my car and they follow me out of the studios and back to Hampstead.

~~~~~~~

I'm lounging on the sofa watching TV after lunch when Karen calls me back.

"Just returning your call," she says briskly.

"Oh, yeah," I respond, sitting up and muting the TV. "I wanted to request a meeting with you. With me and Jess."

There is a short pause.

"Is everything alright?" she asks warily.

"Yeah, everything's great," I say happily. "Things are kind of... getting serious, I suppose. I don't want to keep this relationship in the dark anymore. I think we'd get hassled less if we're just open about it. It would stop the press speculation about us, and I think we could get the fans to buy into it. They love Sophia, and they loved Eleanor too. I know they'll love Jess."

There is another pause.

"This is a massive step, Harry," Karen says, in a softer tone than usual. "Once you've set the wheels in motion there is no going back. Her life is altered forever. Is she ready to deal with this level of attention?"

"She gets it anyway," I say dismissively. "People hassle her already, just for being linked to me."

"Exactly, and that will only get worse," Karen advises. "I think you should consider this for longer before you make any rash decisions."

"It's not a rash decision," I argue. "I've been thinking about it for a little while. We've discussed it; it's what we both want."

"I don't think either of you can understand the implications of this," she insists. "It's too soon. Get to know each other a bit better before you start making public announcements -"

"I'm not making any announcements," I interrupt.

"You know what I mean," she says. "Just take some more time to consider this. I'd be a lot happier if you left it a couple more months, at least."

"It's my decision," I say bluntly. "And Jess's."

"To a degree," she says carefully, and I am reminded once again that I don't fully run my own life. Modest will always have some sort of say in everything I do.

"Look, can we come and see you or not?" I ask impatiently.

I'm trying really hard to play by the rules here but she's making me want to throw caution to the wind and just go somewhere public and kiss Jess in front of the paps, just to be rebellious.

There is a rustling, before she says, "I can do tomorrow morning?"

"Jess is working. It needs to be after six o'clock," I tell her, mentally calculating the time it will take to travel from Harrow to Fulham at rush hour.

"Thursday?" she suggests, and I agree.

"I'll get the legal team to draw up an NDA," she sighs.

Woah woah woah. Hold on.

"She's not signing a Non Disclosure Agreement," I say firmly.

"Don't be ridiculous," Karen says abruptly.

"I'm not. I refuse to let her sign one. I trust her. She won't betray me."

"Don't be naive, Harry," Karen says with an impatient sigh.

"Don't be judgmental," I retort rudely, and then quickly apologise for my tone. "Sorry - I didn't mean to snap. But I don't want this brought up at the meeting. I don't want to ruin our relationship with a lack of trust."

"She needs to understand how these things work, Harry."

"She does. She understood without me even having to tell her," I reply. "No contracts. I mean it."

There is an awkward silence, before Karen gives in.

"Fine. But I am not happy about this. Not happy at all. You've changed since you met this Jess. I worry what effect she is having on you."

She's a breath of fresh air, I think to myself.

"You'll meet her for yourself on Thursday," I point out, and after another pointless grumble, Karen finally concedes, and I hang up.

I stare at my phone for a minute, and then open my camera roll and stare at the picture I took of her yesterday. It captures everything about her so perfectly, from the expression on her face to the softness of her hair. I smile down at it for a moment, and then set it as my background picture on my phone. Perfect.

My phone beeps with a text.

Guess what I just found underneath my bed?? x

It's from Nadine, and before I have chance to reply, a picture message comes through of one of my shirts, looking tired and creased, but laid out flat on what looks like Nadine's bed.

No way - I hadn't even realised it was missing! I reply.

Shame you won't be home anytime soon. We could have met up for a chat, so I could return it. I miss your silly jokes ;) x, comes the response a few minutes later.

You hated my jokes!!, I remind her. I'm coming to New York in a couple of weeks, but only for one night.

It was more of a gentle intolerance ;) When will you be here? Let's meet up. I could use a friend at the moment. Things haven't been great x

I hesitate. Do I really want to meet up with her after all this time? What good would it do? Apart from giving us both some closure. And I would feel sort of bad saying no if she's having a tough time.

11th June, I reply. What's wrong?

But I don't get a response, and the conversation goes out of my head.

......

Jess cooks me dinner that evening at her place, and just as we're sitting down to eat, my phone vibrates. It's a text from Jeff.

So can you make it on the 11th or not??

Before I can even reach for it, Jess has caught sight of my background picture.

"When did you put that on there?" she asks, looking up at me happily.

"Today," I smile at her. "I love it. It's just perfectly you."

I text Jeff back and let him know I am coming.

"Sorry," I apologise to Jess. "It's just Jeff. He wants to know if I can make it over to New York in a couple of weeks for a night out."

"Won't you be back on tour by then?" she frowns.

"Yeah, but it's in between dates," I explain. "I can fly there and back in between shows."

I press send and as I do, a text comes through from Nadine.

"Sounds good," Jess is saying. "A long way to go just for a night out, but good."

"Yeah, I've not seen Jeff in a while though," I say, absently, as I open the text.

Don't know if you remember my friend Elise? I think you only met her once. She's been diagnosed with an eating disorder, and it's been a traumatic time. She almost had a breakdown and she's been admitted to a clinic x

Fucking hell. I do remember Elise, and I remember her being painfully thin.

Shit, that's awful. I hope she's OK. We could meet up for lunch if you want? I'll only have a couple of hours free cos I'm going out with Jeff in the evening x, I type back at lightning speed, and then I close my phone and smile apologetically at Jess.

"Sorry. I'm all yours now."

I should probably tell her I've arranged to see Nadine. But I really don't want to rock the boat after we've just sorted things out. I wouldn't like it if it was the other way around and she was going to meet up with her ex-boyfriend. I feel jealous enough about Gary.

"It's fine," she smiles back. "So are you looking forward to Fleetwood Mac tomorrow?"

"I can't wait," I nod enthusiastically. "I've been waiting for this for months. There's an afterparty - you should come. All three of you."

Jess is going with her friend Callie and Callie's mum.

I suddenly remember the conversation I had with Callie on Saturday about being in love with Jess. I fucking hope she hasn't said anything. I want to be the one to tell her, not her irritating mate.

"Like, seriously?" she asks, in disbelief.

"Sure," I nod. "My people can talk to your people or something," I tease.

"My people are far too busy to talk to Z-listers like your people," she laughs, without missing a beat. "I deal only with the A-listers."

"Oh I see," I smirk. "That's a shame."

"Yeah, for you," she sasses.

She's so like Louis, it's scary sometimes.

"You're pushing your luck tonight," I warn her, my voice all deep and throaty.

"Don't start with the sexy voice," she says weakly. "You're supposed to be the one in trouble, remember?"

Am I?

"For what?" I ask, confused.

"For your cruel wind up this morning!" she snaps, and I grin. This is so last year. "What would you have done if I'd flipped my lid live on Radio One?!"

"I knew you wouldn't," I say, dismissively.

"How do you know that?" she demands.

"Because you're too nice," I shrug.

"A mug, in other words," she retorts.

"No, you're lovely," I correct her. "And I think after all we've been through we must be fireproof by now."

Take that, Miss Sassy.

"Stop making me nervous," she says quickly, looking down at her plate, and I can't resist.

"But nobody knows you, baby, the way I do."

She holds her head in her hands and I grin to myself. I'm pretty sure she's having one of those Harry Styles moments, as she calls them. I brought this one on myself.

"Seriously, stop it," she says. "You can't quote One Direction lyrics at me and expect me to function normally."

"Harry Styles moment?" I ask, casually.

"Full on," she replies, weakly.

"Sorry," I apologise, and as she looks up at me I wink, just to make her worse.

"And stop that, too," she scolds.

"Stop what?" I grin.

"Pretending you don't know exactly what you're doing," she calls me out, picking our plates up and putting them in the sink.

"My hair's getting in the way, I might have to tie it back," I say, slowly and deliberately, unable to hide my smirk.

"For fuck's sake, Harry, do you want me to do you right here on the table?" she snaps, giving me a defiant look with her hands on her hips.

"Yes," I say, truthfully, the playfulness gone from my tone, replaced with a slow-rising heat that starts somewhere around my groin and spreads north.

"That wasn't an invitation," she protests as I grab her round the waist and pull her against me.

"Sounded like it to me," I whisper, and press my lips against hers.

I lift her up onto the table and she fumbles with the button on my jeans, pulling them down and freeing my erection. I let out a sigh as she wraps her hand around it and gently strokes up and down as we kiss. I lift her top up and slip my hand inside her bra, and she moans softly.

"Take your jeans off," I whisper into her mouth, and she manouevres them down as I pull a condom out of my pocket and roll it on. She pulls my tshirt over my head and drops it on the floor, and I push her back with one hand so she is lying flat on her back on the table, her legs hanging over the edge.

"I hope your table can withstand some force," I murmur, as I slowly push into her.

"What are you trying to say about my weight?" she teases, but I'm not falling into this trap, and instead I dip my head and run my tongue over her nipple and that shuts her up.

I begin thrusting in and out, slowly at first, and then faster until she is crying out, gripping my forearms tightly and wrapping her legs around my waist, pulling me in deeper. I start to come just as she is finishing, and she watches me, which only turns me on more, almost making my knees give way.

I pull out after I've finished and she sits up and grins at me, and behind me my phone vibrates again.

"Join me in the shower?" she suggests, raising one eyebrow and giving me possibly the cutest yet sexiest grin ever.

She hops off the table and kisses me, before disappearing into the bathroom.

I grab all my clothes into my arms and pick up my phone as I follow Jess.

I have a new message from Nadine.

That would be great :) It'll be good to see you. Get rehearsing those knock knock jokes ;) xx

I read it quickly, and clear the notification from my screen.