(No Control - 47. Better Than Words, third part)

I fetch some plastic cups and a ping pong ball from the kitchen and we arrange them on the coffee table, and pour a variety of drinks into them.

"We're going first," I call, and give the ball to Jess. "Go on," I encourage, and I hope she's a decent shot.

She is, and nails the first throw, splashing a drop of beer on Louis' t-shirt.

"Sorry!" she squeals nervously, and he grins at her and necks the beer inside it, before crumpling the cup and tossing it aside.

He then bounces the ball onto the table and it sails over the cups into Jess's outstretched hand.

"Nice one, Tommo," Liam says sarcastically.

"Alright, alright, I'm just warming up," Louis retorts defensively. "Harry's up next, we're fine."

I ignore this attempt to knock my confidence, and silently pray I don't make a fool of myself in front of my girlfriend. I just want to nail this shot.

I use an underarm throw and hold my breath as it arcs into the air and lands deftly into the cup nearest Liam.

"Yesss!" Jess says, jumping up and down and giving me a high five.

I'm so fucking proud of myself.

"Come on, Payno," Louis urges, pressing his hands together in a praying motion, and presses his fingertips against his lips.

Liam's shot is direct and lands in one of Jess's cocktails. She grins and picks it up, and before I can tell her she doesn't need to drink it if she doesn't want to she has downed the entire thing.

"Looks like the Master of Beer Pong -" (she does air quotes) "- is the only player still to score," she sasses, setting her empty cup on the floor, and Liam throws his head back and laughs while Louis raises his eyebrows and tilts his head to the side.

"Don't try and slay me, Jess," he retaliates.

"I don't need to try, Louis," she shoots straight back, and gives him a lopsided smirk as Liam says softly, "Ooooh," from behind Louis.

She grins at Liam, and bounces the ball across the table where it lands with another plop in the cup next to Louis, splashing his t-shirt again. He grins in defeat and drinks the contents, and I realise this has now become a private war between the two of them.

He stares her down before eyeing up our remaining drinks, and then takes aim. It lands perfectly in a cup of beer, and a drop lands on Jess's arm. She flicks it off, grinning, and I pick up the cup and down it in one.

"I'm relieved for you," she says to Louis, cockily, and he shakes his head in disbelief at her attitude. Meanwhile, I can't wipe the grin from my own face.

I nail my next shot again thankfully, and Liam is forced to neck some lethal vodka concoction.

He then misses his next throw, much to our mirth, and Jess catches it effortlessly again.

"Shall we get ourselves some more drinks, Harry?" she asks casually, turning to me and smirking. "We'll die of thirst waiting for these two to catch up."

I squeeze my eyes shut and laugh at her audacity, and high five her again.

She fucking slays. I love it.

"I need a cig," Louis grumbles, but with a grin. "Come on Payno. We need to discuss tactics. I'm not being beaten by these two fucking losers."

They disappear out of the room and I turn to Jess and we giggle mischievously for a minute.

"You're on fire," I tell her as she straightens the cups on the table. "No one ever slays Louis, but he's actually lost for words. It's a rarity, believe me."

She smiles and I pull her towards me and press my lips onto hers. Her hands are in my hair immediately, and she's kissing me hard; harder than I thought she would, and her tongue slides into my mouth gently.

Fuck, this is unexpectedly hot. I breathe hard into the kiss and she presses her body against me, her hands sliding down my neck to my shoulders. I'm just about to suggest we take this upstairs when I hear the kitchen door opening, signalling Louis and Liam's return. Jess steps away from me, looking a bit flushed, and I turn away and resume my position bythe coffee table.

"Right, lovebirds," Louis says, flexing his fingers. "Prepare to lose."

I open my mouth to scoff but then I hear the beginning of Where Do Broken Hearts Go coming from Jess's phone - her ringtone for Facetime - and I let out a cheer.

Oh God, I'm embarrassing when I'm drunk.

"It's Maddie, my little sister," Jess says to Liam and Louis.

"Big fan," I inform them, and I notice Jess give a shiver as she answers the phone.

"Ah, if only you'd called me earlier," she says to her screen, turning the volume up. "Louis and Liam were here but you've just missed them."

"Are you joking?" demands Maddie's voice.

"No, they called in to see Harry but they left about 5 minutes ago," she replies.

Aww, poor Maddie. This is cruel.

"Nooooooo!" Maddie wails. "Is this some kind of sick joke?"

Jess grins. "Yeah it is. They're still here." And she turns her phone slightly, presumably getting Liam and Louis on the screen.

Maddie squeals, just like Jess does, and then immediately asks, "Where's Niall?"

"Oooohhh!" Louis moans, clutching his heart and pretending to be hurt. "These girls know how to bruise a guy's ego. Must run in the family."

Tell me about it, Louis. You don't know the half of it.

"Niall's her favourite," Jess is explaining.

"You'll just have to make do with me and Payno," Louis grins at Jess's screen.

Maddie has gone all giggly and breathless like she did over me, and I smile to myself and look over at Jess. She shivers again.

"You cold?" I frown, and she nods as Louis and Liam chat to Maddie.

I leave them for a moment and walk upstairs to my bedroom to get something for Jess to put on to keep her warm. My eye immediately falls to my Green Bay Packers hoodie, and I lift it to my face to make sure it's clean, before carrying it downstairs and tossing it at her.

She smiles gratefully and pulls it on over head.

"Did you just sniff that hoodie?" Louis asks in disbelief.

What??

"Yeah, well, it smells nice," she says defensively, her face slowly turning red.

She sniffed my hoodie?

"She's always had a thing for that," Maddie's voice comes from the phone speaker. "Sniffing guys' clothes. She's a weirdo."

OK, this is in a good way, right? Not like some kind of weird fetish?

"Alright, Maddie," she says, fidgeting uncomfortably as we all laugh at her embarrassment.

"Well you have!" Maddie laughs too. "Remember you used to wear Darren's tshirt to bed every night?"

Who. The fuck. Is Darren?

"Who's Darren?" I ask.

"My ex, when I was like, 15," Jess answers.

She wore this guy's t-shirt to bed?

I hate him.

She's keeping my hoodie whether she likes it or not.

"Yeah it's worse when she fancies the guy in question," Maddie is saying, and my ears prick up. "Don't let her near any of your clothes."

OK, that was directed at Louis, not me. Her sister just told Louis that Jess fancies him.

Feeling awkward and stupid over here.

"OK, I think we need to end this call now," Jess says, looking up to the heavens.

"Ooohh, you fancy us all, Jess?" Louis says.

Trust him to pounce on that.

"No," she replies with a resigned sigh. She obviously knows where this is going, and Maddie now has my full attention. I just wish I could see the screen, but Jess, Liam and Louis are facing me so I can't.

"Yes," Maddie confirms. "Harry, Louis, Liam, Niall, Zayn. In that order."

Thank fuck my name was first.

"I'm very glad my name came first on that list," I declare.

"Mine's second," Louis grins infuriatingly at me. "Watch your back, Styles."

Fuck off, Louis.

"I'm only teasing. She's been in love with Harry for years," Maddie says.

In love?

My heart jumps.

"Remember that dream you had about Harry, Jess?" Maddie asks.

Suddenly I'm grinning. What dream is this? I need to see Maddie's face for this one.

"Don't you have to get to school?" Jess mutters.

"What dream?" I ask, getting up and walking round to stand behind Jess. I rest my hand lightly on her back and stroke her neck.

"She dreamed you sang your What Makes You Beautiful solo directly to her at a 1D concert, like in the video," Maddie says, looking at me, and I know there and then that one day I am going to make this happen; regardless of the implications, regardless of the media storm it will cause and regardless of the backlash I will get from management.

"She was in a bad mood the whole of the next day once she woke up and realised it was only a dream," she continues, and we all laugh.

"Dad's calling me, I've got to go," Maddie says, and Jess breathes a sigh of relief. "Great talking to you!"

We say goodbye and Jess reminds Maddie not to post any pictures on Twitter. Liam gives me a told you so look.

"Did you really have that dream about me?" I ask, unable to hide my smirk.

"Is there any point in denying it?" she sighs.

No. There isn't. And I promise you right now, Jessie Braddy, that I will make it happen for you. There is something about you that has captivated me, and I don't know why, but I will do anything in this world to know you feel the same way about me that I feel about you.

Louis is now pretty hammered, and is hassling Jess to call some of her friends. She gives in pretty easily and hands him her phone, and leans over his shoulder as he sits down on the squishy footstool.

I'm just watching her and thinking how fucking amazing she is, when I catch her glance down at Louis while he is waiting for her friend to pick up. She spends a good few seconds openly checking him out, her eyes roaming over his neck and back, and the side of his face. I feel like someone has punched me in the stomach.

I know she's a fan, and I know everyone has warned me it's a bad idea to date fans, but honestly, I wasn't prepared for her reaction to him. I wasn't prepared for how her reaction would make me feel.

I feel sick.

Fuck.

Louis is oblivious to all this and is happily chatting away to Jess's friend Sarah, and I hear her ask, "Who else is there?!"

"Just me," I mutter, a bit sarcastically, and step behind Jess so I can see myself on the little screen.

"Oh Christ," Sarah says faintly. "Hey there, Delilah."

Ah, the Plain White Tees reference again. I grin, in spite of my bad mood.

Sarah flirts with Louis for a bit, and then I hear a male voice in the background, and Jess waves as a blond guy appears next to Sarah.

"Hi Gary," she says.

That's Gary? That's fucking Gary? He looks different to those pap pictures.

Is she trying to make me jealous? Because it's fucking working.

I put my arm around her and pull her against my side. I don't care that this dude will know I am blatantly marking my territory, but seriously, he kissed my girl. And it looked hot.

I glare at him during the whole conversation, and am relieved when he fucks off back to his desk or wherever he came from, and everyone says goodbye.

I need to take a fucking chill pill. Why am I so jealous?

"She's hot," Louis is saying to Jess about Sarah.

"I'm pretty sure she thinks the same about you," Jess replies, and I feel pissed off at her words.

Are you sure you're not voicing your own thoughts there, Jess? I nearly snap, but stop myself just in time.

Fucking hell, I need to pack this in.

Drunk Harry is jealous Harry. It's not cool. Or OK.

I excuse myself and walk into the kitchen to down a glass of water. I don't like the way I'm feeling. It's petty and childish and I need to knock it on the head before anyone notices.

"You OK mate?" Liam asks, appearing in the kitchen doorway.

"Mmmhhh," I mumble.

"What's up?"

"Nothing," I snap.

"Come on, don't snap," he says softly. "I can tell you're off. Is Tommo annoying you?"

"Yes!" I snap. "He's flirting with her and it's out of order."

Liam smiles. "He flirts with everyone. It's as natural to him as breathing. Don't let him get to you, because you know what he's like - if he thinks it's making you jealous he'll do it all the more to wind you up. But he doesn't mean anything by it."

"I know," I mutter, furious with myself for admitting my insecurities out loud.

"He's just frustrated and horny. He needs a good shag, that'll sort him out," Liam grins, and I chuckle.

If there's one thing that sedates Louis, it's getting his end away.

"I just wish she didn't flirt back," I admit.

Liam raises an eyebrow.

"Really? Come on. She gives as good as she gets. She keeps him in line. He needs that."

"Yeah, but he fucking loves it," I moan. "And she thinks he's hot. Her sister even said it too."

"Harry," Liam chides. "Are you really saying to me you've never looked at another girl when you've been with someone?"

"That's the problem though, isn't it?" I say in frustration. "I'm not with her. Nothing's official."

"Well you know the answer to that, don't you," Liam smiles. "Make it official."

"I know, I know," I sigh exasperatedly. "Just ignore me. I'm not annoyed with them, really. I'm annoyed at myself for being a tit."

"You need to chill out," he says kindly. "She's got it so bad for you, mate. You've got nothing to worry about with Louis. And you know he would never make a play for your girl."

"I know," I nod, because I do know. I know none of the boys would ever do anything like that. I'm just being an idiot.

"Hurry up and come back," he says, and I nod, down some more water and follow him back into the lounge.

It's gone 2am before we head up to bed, and we're all pretty drunk. I've managed to curb my jealousy, particularly as Jess has been very tactile with me tonight and has been draped across me on the sofa since they finished messing about with Facetime.

She pulls my hoodie over her head and holds it out to me, but I don't want it back.

"Keep it. It seems my clothes look better on you anyway."

"I can't keep it," she argues. "It's yours."

I want her to have it. I don't know why it's important to me but it is.

"You look sexy in it," I mutter, feeling stupid and shy. "I want you to have it."

She reaches over to me, turns my face towards hers and kisses me with a different kind of emotion. I can't explain how or why, but it feels different. I push her top up a bit so my hands are touching the bare skin on her hips and I feel her shudder slightly before she presses her body against mine. I slip her top over her head, letting it drop carelessly to the floor.

I pull her tighter against me and gently brush her hair over her shoulder, cupping the back of her neck with my fingers. Everything about her is soft: her hair, her skin, her lips, her body. Her hands are still on my face, holding me in place as we kiss. I skate my fingers along her arms and bring her back over to the bed where I lay back, pulling her on top of me. She smiles against my mouth and I push my hips up against her, letting her know I want her.

Fuck, I want her.

"Cheeky," she murmurs, and I grin into the kiss.

Her hands lift the hem of my tshirt, so I sit up carefully and let her pull it up over my head. Her fingers gently brush over my chest and it's my turn to shudder as my skin breaks out in goosebumps. I tug at her leggings and she pulls my joggers down until we are lying down facing each other on my bed in just our underwear.

I'm so turned on. I'm dying to be inside her but I want to take this slow, and savour every moment. I'm all too aware she is going home the day after tomorrow and I'm really trying not to think about it. This week has gone far too quickly.

Her hand slips into my boxers and I close my eyes as she squeezes me gently, and slowly moves her hand up and down. I pull her face to mine again and slip my tongue in her mouth and my finger into her pants. She moans softly as I stroke her gently for a couple of minutes, and I feel her push her hips onto my hand, slipping my finger inside her. She feels so hot and wet, and I'm trying not to focus on this but it's really difficult when she voices her pleasure like this.

Damn it, I'm going to have to stop her touching me.

I remove my hand and use it to brush hers away and she opens her eyes to look at me, a trace of insecurity on her face.

"It's good," I whisper. "Too good."

"Oh," she says softly, comprehension dawning. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry," I murmur, slipping her pants down her thighs and pushing my hips against hers so my dick rubs against her inside thigh. I close my eyes again and let out a weird sort of moan as I can feel where she is wet, and it makes it even harder to control myself. I am obsessed with the memory of the feel of her.

"Jess," I whisper, and stop, because I don't know how to say what I'm feeling. I don't understand what I am feeling. This desire to make love to her without protection, this fear of her leaving me on Saturday to return to her life in London that doesn't involve me, this connection between us that is only growing stronger...

I don't know how to control it, any of it. I'm out of my depth.

She doesn't question me; instead she pulls me closer towards her so my erection is pressing hard against her entrance. It's like she knows what I want, and she wants it too.

My heart is racing now, and my breathing has accelerated. Her lips are moving against mine faster, more urgently, and I am fighting not to push my hips forward because I know that is a really bad idea, but fuck, I want to. One of us needs to mention the condom before we get too carried away to stop.

"Harry," she moans softly, and I can't stop myself at the sound of her gasping my name. I press myself into her and she gives a soft cry, pulls me in deeper and stops.

"Fuck," I mutter. I daren't move, even to pull out, because I'm scared I will come. This is bad. This is fucking out of control.

She is panting now, her lips millimetres from mine.

"Jess... I'm too fucking close," I breathe, and she moans again and I feel her clench me inside.

"Me too," she whispers, and I'm gone.

I pull back and push hard into her, and then pull out quickly as she gasps. Her hand reaches for me, and mine for her, and I come onto her stomach as I feel her insides squeezing my fingers in waves.

Fuck, this is seriously hot.

"Sorry," I gasp once we've both finished.

"Don't be sorry," she breathes heavily, grinning at me as she repeats my own words back to me.

"That was... quick," I say sheepishly.

I'm so embarrassed.

"It wasn't just you," she reminds me, and I grin back at her.

"You made a mess on me though," she teases, looking down between us at her stomach.

"Yeah, sorry about that," I apologise, and she leans forward and kisses me softly.

"Stop apologising," she whispers, and she slips out of bed heads into the bathroom to clean up.

Once we're both back in bed I reach out for her and pull her against me, and as she curls towards me and leans her head on my chest I am struck by the feeling that something has changed between us.

I'm not sure what it is, but I know it's something big. And it scares me.