(No Control - 47. Better Than Words, first part)

"You seem on cloud nine, mate," Liam says to me after we've come inside and Jess has gone upstairs to get changed.

"I am," I smile, and he grins at me.

"She's a really nice girl," he says, and behind him Louis is pulling faces.

"You dropped the L-bomb yet?" Louis smirks, and I give him a dubious look.

"I'm not in love with her."

"Oh come on!" Louis scoffs. "You're smitten! It's written all over your face! And hers, too."

I hesitate. The All's fair in love and war comment has been playing on my mind since Jess said it when she was busy owning us in the pool. Is she in love with me? She doesn't act like it - she's always the first one to dismiss any sort of relationship status. Why would she keep doing that if her feelings were that strong?

I'm not willing to put myself out there again so soon, not after what happened with Nadine. I was crazy about her, but that feeling of rejection still burns silently whenever I think about it. Which isn't very often anymore, admittedly, but still.

Louis is getting a telling off from Liam for goading me, but I'm so absorbed in my own thoughts that the first thing I am properly aware of is the silence in the room and both of them looking at me expectantly.

"What?" I ask.

"I said, are there any good pizza delivery places nearby? We fancy pizza for dinner," Louis smirks.

"Um, yeah, there are a couple not far from here," I reply and pull the menus out from the drawer and hand them one each. "Just going for a quick shower," I mutter, and I leave the kitchen and jog up the stairs. I want to see Jess.

"Hurry up!" Louis calls after me. "We're starving!"

I ignore him and step into my bedroom, shutting the door behind me. Jess is wearing black leggings and a sleeveless tight top that clings to every soft curve. Her hair is wet and looks darker than usual, and she has no makeup on. She looks young; innocent.

"Hi," she greets me as I lean down to kiss her.

"Hi yourself," I smile. "I've missed this."

I've missed the feel of her soft lips on mine. I've missed the feel of her warm hands on my waist, on my chest, on my neck. I've missed the feel of her breasts pressed against my body.

"Mmmm me too," she murmurs.

"Liam and Louis want to order some pizzas, is that OK with you?" I ask, and she readily agrees.

I kiss her again and resist the urge to peel her top off. I don't want her thinking that's all this is about for me.

"I'm gonna take a shower," I whisper against her lips.

"OK," she whispers back softly, but she carries on kissing me and I have to steel myself to pull away before my dick starts running my life for me.

The hot water relaxes me, and when I'm finished I pull my hair up and grin at my reflection, knowing she likes this look and hoping it will have the reaction I want. I wrap my towel round my waist and walk back into the bedroom without looking at her. I can feel her eyes on me and I turn away to hide my grin and pull on some underwear. I pull my face into a serious expression and then turn back towards her, and I'm excited to see her jaw has dropped a little and she's staring at me with a blank look. She's dried her hair, I notice.

"Are you checking me out?" I grin, and I'm not prepared for her answer.

"I am always checking you out. I mean, just look at you."

She looks surprised at the words that have just come out of her mouth, as if she has no control over her own tongue, and I chuckle at this thought. I wonder what else she thinks but doesn't say?

She's so beautiful. She's so funny. She's perfect. I'm grinning just looking at her.

"I love you," I start to say, but catch myself mid sentence and manage to change it to: "I love... the way you do that," and hope the stammer wasn't obvious.

I feel a wave of sickness at what I nearly just said. What the actual fuck?

"Do what? Make a complete dick out of myself?" she is saying, looking down at the floor.

She didn't notice. Thank God. My heart is thudding and I've broken out in a sweat.

"What's the matter?" she asks, lifting her head to look at me.

Fuck, she can tell something's not right.

"Nothing," I lie, and I turn away from her so she can't see my face (which I'm sure is giving me away right now.)

I'm so fucking confused. I'm not in love with her, so why did I nearly just tell her I was?

I open a drawer and stare blankly at the tshirts all folded up. I feel her arms slide around my waist and her cheek press against my back.

"Sorry," she says softly.

What?

"Please ignore my stupid comments," she continues. "It wasn't a Harry Styles moment. It was just a genuine 'he's so sexy' moment. A moment of appreciation."

Does she think I'm cross with her?

I turn around and pull her into my arms, trying to gather my thoughts, and she clasps her hands around my back and rests her head against my chest.

"Your heart's pounding," she murmurs.

Yes, because I nearly told you I loved you and now my head is in a spin, I want to say, but don't.

My mouth doesn't seem to want to work.

I'm thankful for that.

I kiss the top of her head and breathe in the scent of her shampoo, and instantly feel calmer. She looks up at me; I can't help but lean down and kiss her. She presses her body against me, and it's hot. Her arms snake around my neck as her lips move against mine, gently at first but then with increasing fervour. My body seems to move of its own accord, guiding her back a few feet so the backs of her knees hit the edge of the bed and she lays down with me leaning over her. I can't help moaning softly as I know she's getting turned on.

She puts her hand in the middle of my chest and pushes me up, sitting up herself and forcing me to roll over onto my back, and then lies on top of me and kisses me. I get the feeling she's up to something and I can't stop the smile of anticipation creeping onto my face.

I tuck her hair behind her ear and she kisses my lips, my cheek, my jaw, my neck, my collarbone and my chest. The feel of her lips on my skin sends goosebumps over my entire body and fuck - I'm hard as a rock as she reaches the tattoo of the butterfly on my stomach.

"What are you doing?" I ask her, playfully, and she rolls her eyes at me and gives me a half-smirk.

"What do you think I'm doing, Harry?" she says softly.

Oh Jesus. She's heading south. Oh my fucking Christ.

I lift my head slightly and stare at her, not wanting to misread this and gets my hopes up, but unable to stop my dick twitching at the thought of her mouth around it.

I hook my arm behind my head so I can watch her. She's running her fingers lightly over the ferns just above my hips.

Fucking hell this is hot.

Her fingers curl over the top of my underwear and she pulls them down to my knees, and then leans forward and licks the head of my dick.

I can't stop the groan that escapes my mouth. Her tongue is hot and wet and feels fucking amazing.

My eyes close as she takes me slowly in her mouth and sucks gently.

"Bloody hell, Jess," I breathe, without opening my eyes.

She starts moving her head up and down, her tongue sliding along my entire length and I let out a really loud groan. It sounds exaggerated, but it's completely involuntary. I open my eyes again and watch her mouth sliding on and off me, and I'm aware my breathing is accelerating. I fist the covers with one hand, and as her pace increases her hair falls forward onto my stomach. It makes me shudder in pleasure, and I brush it away so I can look at her face, but it feels so soft and silky in my hands I can't help running my fingers through it which turns me on even more.

I can feel her breath on my belly button every time she moves down, and it's tickling me gently. She looks up at me and her eyes connect with mine. The trace of innocence in her expression sends me close to the edge. I need to tell her - I don't want to come in her mouth without warning her. She might not want me to.

She moves faster and it makes me gasp.

"Jess, I'm... really close..." I manage to say.

I know she's heard me but she doesn't move away, and the realisation that she's going to let me come in her mouth tips me over all the way.

I feel myself shudder once more and I groan loudly again, and come.

It's fucking intense. My hips are twitching involuntarily as her mouth continues to move and I crush her hair in the palm of my hand. All I can focus on is the slippery feel of her tongue on my dick. I lift my head higher to watch her and she looks up at me again briefly, through her eyelashes, intensifying my orgasm and causing weird, strangled noises to come out of my mouth. Eventually I relax and close my eyes, and lie there panting like I've just run a fucking marathon or something.

"That was amazing," I breathe, once I think I'm able to speak again. "What did I do to deserve that?"

But she just shrugs and smiles shyly at me.

"Harry are we ordering pizza or what?"

Fucking hell, Louis!

Jess springs off the bed and I pull the covers up in case he walks in.

"Yeah we'll be down in one minute," I say, trying to make my voice sound normal.

"If you're sure you can tear yourself away?" he replies, and I can hear the smirk in his voice as his footsteps retreat.

He knows.

Jess throws me a cheeky grin and disappears into the bathroom, and I get out of bed and throw some comfy clothes on. I can hear her brushing her teeth and then she reappears looking stunningly beautiful, framed in the doorway with her hair casually slung over one shoulder. I can tell she's put a bit of makeup on, and I wonder if it's for my benefit or Louis'.

"Hey there Delilah, what's it like in New York City," she sings.

"Huh?"

I'm confused.

"Plain white tee," she grins, pointing at my tshirt, and I laugh.

"You're funny," I say, stupidly. "In a non-patronising way," I add hastily. Fuck, that whole sentence sounded really fucking idiotic. I'm such a loser.

I follow her downstairs, checking out her backside all the way, and when we reach the lounge I notice she hesitates slightly in the doorway, so I slip past her, leap onto the sofa and hold my arm out to invite her to sit next to me.

"Finally!" Louis says, looking up from the TV. "What were you doing up there... actually I don't want to know."

I knew he was onto us.

I smile and hand Jess the pizza menu, and then dart into the kitchen for some beers. I make Jess one of the cocktails I know she likes, and when I return the boys are playing on FIFA and Jess is playing on her phone.

"Thanks!" she beams when I set her cocktail down on the coffee table, and she sits up and takes a photo of it on her phone.

I call our pizza order through to the takeaway place and my phone vibrates against my ear with a Twitter notification just as I'm about to end the call. Jess has tweeted the picture of her cocktail, and I scan it quickly to make sure there is nothing in it that would link her to me. As I suspected, there isn't. Just the FIFA game in the background.

I'm thankful I was on the phone when she tweeted. Otherwise I would have had to admit I have her notifications on. I can just hear Louis in my head - "No chill."

I head back over to the sofa and look down at the screen on her phone, and notice the same picture of the cocktail, but it looks like it's on Facebook, not Twitter.

"Do you have Facebook?" I ask.

"Of course. Who doesn't?" she replies.

"You've never mentioned it before," I think out loud. This thought hadn't even crossed my mind.

"Neither have you," she reminds me.

"How do you know I'm even on Facebook?" I wonder.

My profile is so tightly private that it doesn't show up in any searches.

"Because you are," she says, as if this is obvious. "I'm guessing you just have the maximum security settings so you're invisible to everyone except your real friends."

OK, how does she know this?

"What makes you say that?" I ask.

"Doesn't take a genius to work it out," she says, looking back at her phone again. "Some of your famous friends with public profiles mention you, then comments appear that no one can see, which must be you commenting with your private profile."

She looks up at me triumphantly.

What the actual fuck? Are all women like this, or is it just Directioners?

"Have you ever considered a career with the FBI?" I tease her, and she looks back at her phone, smiling.

I suddenly have an idea. I'm going to pave the way towards approaching the girlfriend subject.

I unlock my phone and open Facebook, and search for her name. She's the third option on the list.

I tap onto her profile and send her a friend request, and immediately her phone beeps and a notification appears on her screen.

She taps it, hits 'accept' and then goes back to her news feed again.

I stare at her, waiting for some sort of reaction, but I get nothing. Doesn't she get how much of a big deal this is for me? Everyone on my Facebook will see that I am now friends with her. People will put two and two together in about three seconds.

Her face remains neutral, and eventually I realise this is the best I'm going to get, and I sit down next to her and pull her legs up onto my lap and she puts her phone down and smiles at me.

"So are you over here for a holiday?" she asks, and it takes me a second to realise she's talking to Liam.

"Ah, that was a foul! Ref, come on!" Liam shouts, waving his controller at the screen and turning to glare at Louis, who doesn't look up. "No, we're writing stuff for the new album," he says, smiling at Jess.

"Clearly not a foul," Louis interrupts. "Clearly, in fact, a dive."

"Really? That's great," Jess replies, smiling back at Liam.

What is he, like her third favourite or something? After me and Louis?

"Not if you're Payno," Louis cuts in, grinning, and she laughs.

"Not the dive, the album."

"See?" he says, gleefully. "Even Jess agrees it was a dive."

Stop flirting with my girl, Louis.

"So not a dive," Liam mutters, staring intently at the screen.

"I wasn't really watching," she smiles, but I can see her fingers twisting together and I can tell she's nervous. Does she get like this when she talks to me?

"If your FIFA skills reflect your songwriting skills we're in trouble," Louis teases Liam.

"I think you guys make a good team," Jess says, shyly. "At songwriting, obviously. Not FIFA."

OK, what? She knows who wrote each of our songs?

"Are you saying we're shit at FIFA?" Louis challenges, looking at her with one eyebrow raised. I know he's only teasing, but I don't know if Jess does. I want to kick him for making her uncomfortable, but as soon as she replies I remember why I love... why I like her so much.

What the fuck is it with that word tonight?

"Well, you're better at songwriting," she says to Louis.

"Really?" Louis' head snaps up. "You like our stuff? Like, me and Payno?"

He presses a button on his controller and the game is paused on the screen.

"Hey!" Liam whines.

"Yeah, it's great," Jess says, sitting up straighter and looking directly at Louis. "When you and Liam write together it's amazing."

I recognise that look on her face. It's the same look she has when she talks about her family, or her job, or her friends... or just her life in general. Her whole face has lit up with passion and enthusiasm. And I can't help feeling jealous that it's Louis' fucking songs that have provoked that reaction from her.

"What about me?" I ask, trying not to pout.

"Well obviously you too," she says, giving me a brief glance and rolling her eyes, before turning her attention back to Louis.

"Thanks for the afterthought," I mutter, and Liam and Louis snigger.

I don't see what's funny.

Jess looks at me questioningly and smiles, but the jealous monster in my chest has risen and I don't smile back.

"So which songs are you talking about specifically?" Louis is asking her, and she gazes back at him again.

"Umm, Diana, No Control, Little White Lies," she begins, and my heart lurches. "Better Than Words, Midnight Memories, Ready To Run, Fireproof..."

"You know your stuff," Louis says, his eyebrows almost hidden under his hair.

She really fucking does. She's just reeled off a bunch of songs off our last two albums that were co-written by Liam and Louis.

"I'm interested," she says. "I like the way you two write."

Feeling unloved over here.

"Are those your favourites then?" Louis asks.

"Well, among others," she replies.

"What about... Stockholm Syndrome?" he asks with a grin.

Trust Louis to home in on an insecurity and slap you in the face with it.

"Yeah I like that," she nods.

"But you don't love it?" he presses.

Fuck off, Louis.

I stare at the TV screen, trying to not let my jealousy show.

"I really like it," Jess says, and out of the corner of my eye I can see her looking at me.

"What about... Through The Dark?" Louis says wickedly.

The little fucking shit knows exactly what he's doing, mentioning all the ones I wrote.

"Tommo..," Liam says, warningly.

"Mmmm," she says non-committally, waving her hand like so-so, and I feel like this is a personal attack. "I have to be in the mood for that one," she says.

Fuck this.

"What about Where Do Broken Hearts Go?" I jump in, knowing full well she loves it.

"Yeah that's amazing," she says excitedly, and turns and beams at me. I squeeze her leg gently with my hand.

I'm so fucking jealous of Louis. What the fuck is wrong with me?

"That's one of my favourites," she continues.

"You had to say that to save his ego," Louis retorts, glancing slyly at me. "But we've established Harry's girlfriend prefers a bit of the Tommo... haha."

Girlfriend.

Shut the fuck up, Louis. We haven't had that conversation yet.

Jess is frowning at him, as though she's about to say sonething. If she fucking corrects him I will seriously get up and walk away.

"It's her ringtone for Facetime," I blurt, in an attempt to put Louis in his place and stop Jess from bruising my ego any further.

"He's only winding you up," Liam says to me, and I feel Jess's toes squeeze my thigh placatingly. I force a smile onto my face and punch Louis' arm harder than I should. He smirks at Jess, and I wish I'd punched him even harder.

"Give me a go on that," I snap, grabbing the Playstation controller from the sassy little twat and shoving him hard with my hand so he slips off the footstool he is sitting on and lands hard on the floor.

"Pile on!" Liam yells happily, and throws himself heavily on top of Louis. I jump on top of Liam, and I hear him call Jess over too, so she sits delicately on my back. I wouldn't want to be Louis right now, on the bottom of this pile. I wish Niall were here; he wouldn't hesitate to fart in his face or something.

"Alright, alright," Louis moans. "Get off now."

I get up roughly and stand on Louis's leg.

"Ooof," he grunts, and I smirk as I sit down and Jess puts her legs over mine again and smiles sweetly at me.

I know I shouldn't be jealous. I know Louis would never make a move on her. But I can tell he thinks she's hot, and I hate knowing she thinks the same about him.

I want to be the only one she lusts after. I want to be the only one to make her heart pound; to make her nervous. I want her to have eyes only for me.

I want her to be my girlfriend.

----****----

I just have to tell you I LOVED writing this chapter, because when I wrote it in No Control from Jess's point of view I had in my head so clearly what Harry was thinking and feeling at every moment! So it was great to finally put it into words :)