(No Control - 29. Teenage Kicks)

"That'll teach you to mock my buns of steel," I mutter breathlessly.

Fucking hell that was good. Amazing in fact. My knees feel weak.

Jess pushes me gently off her. I flop onto my back and close my eyes, my heart still hammering.

"Well if that was punishment, I wish I'd done it sooner," she says, and I crack open one eye to look at her. She's sitting up and wearing a cheeky smirk. "OK now seriously, I have got to get a move on," she says, pushing herself off the bed and disappearing into the bathroom.

I remove the condom and lay on the bed for about five minutes, deep in thought, while she has a shower.

I like her. She makes my heart pound and my stomach flutter.

I want to see her again, but how is it even possible? My life at the moment is all about the tour. What am I supposed to say, 'hey, can I take you out again one day next year?'

I am so torn with this. I know I'm not going to be able to get her out of my head, but I can't pretend this could ever go anywhere. Not yet, anyway.

What the hell am I going to do?

I hear Jess coming out of the bathroom. I quickly sit up on the bed. She comes into the bedroom wearing nothing but a towel, and tosses a clean one at me. I catch it and stand up, and wink at her cockily as I slip past her without a word. Out of the corner of my eye I see the giddy smile on her face and I can't help but grin stupidly as I walk into the bathroom and get in the shower.

By the time I get back into the bedroom Jess isn't there. I pull last night's clothes on again, which is a bit gross, but it's only until I get home.

I check my phone - Niall's replied: Yesssssss get in there boy. Details later, don't leave out the good stuff.

I shake my head, shove my phone in my pocket and walk into the kitchen where Jess is putting toast onto a plate. My stomach flutters at the sight of her. She looks amazing.

"You look great," I tell her. "What time do you have to leave?"

"Anytime in the next 10 minutes. I can get on the tube, you don't have to drive me."

Like hell am I letting her get the tube when I have my car. Especially when I could spend an extra few minutes with her.

"I'd like to," I persist, and she smiles at me, causing another flutter.

"OK, well thanks, if you're sure."

I nod at her, and reach for a slice of toast. I watch as she puts all her stuff away into a large bag, and picks up her keys.

Should I throw out the idea of another date?

I chew my toast thoughtfully and consider this.

I was thinking maybe we could do this again some time?

Fuck, no - that sounds like I want to be fuck buddies or something. Been there, done that.

I'd like to take you out again when I'm home, if you fancy it?

I don't even know when I'm going to be home. At least, not England-home. I plan on going to LA after this next leg of the tour.

Can I text you while I'm away?

For fuck's sake, I don't need permission to text somebody.

Jess suddenly looks up at me and smiles and for a second I'm scared I said something out loud, but I realise she's got her jacket in her hand and is looking at me expectantly.

"Ready?" I ask.

"Yep," she nods. She picks up her stuff and I grab my keys. I follow her down the stairs and I make sure I open the car door for her before I climb in.

"What's the postcode for your office?" I ask, and I tap in what she tells me.

I don't want to be recognised, so I slip on a pair of sunglasses as we drive off.

"What are you going to do now?" she asks.

"I'll head home and probably get my head down for a couple of hours, seeing as I didn't get much sleep last night," I say. I can't keep the smirk off my face.

"Well you've only got yourself to blame for that," she says casually.

That's rich - she was the one who gave me the come-on last night. So it's her fault, technically.

I am definitely not complaining though.

"At least you can go home and sleep," she's saying. "I have a full day's work ahead of me."

I want to call her out for pouncing on me yesterday, but I don't want to embarrass her.

"I feel your pain," I say instead with a laugh.

I'm looking forward to getting my head down for a couple of hours at home. I'm shattered.

My phone starts to ring, and I see Louis' name on the dash screen. He's up early.

Jess turns to me, her mouth open and her eyes wide.

I can't help but laugh at the look on her face. I forget she's a fan sometimes. Until she gets excited like this.

I accept the call; this could be fun.

"Morning Lou."

"Oh you're awake then," Louis greets me.

I glance at Jess. She's quietly having some sort of breakdown in the passenger seat. I can't help feeling a small twinge of jealousy, which is completely ridiculous, so I push it away immediately.

"Yeah," I answer Louis, while grinning at Jess.

"You still at your mum's?" Louis asks.

I'm still looking at Jess, and not really paying full attention to my conversation with Louis.

"Nah, I'm in London," I reply. "I came back yesterday."

Louis cackled. "Ahhh no way, she said yes to the date then?"

OH. FUCK.

Rewind. Can we rewind?

FUCK.

My cheeks are burning.

Why the fuck did he say that? If he starts taking the piss out of me for having no chill, for stressing over Jess not contacting me, I will die.

Damage limitation is needed here. I need to shut him up.

Jess is staring at me. Fuck.

I clear my throat nervously.

"Uh, yeah she did. Actually she's in the car now and you're on speaker."

Take the fucking hint, Louis.

"Ohhh," he says, comprehension dawning.

I throw caution to the wind.

"Yeah, do me a favour Lou and say hi, will you? She's a big fan."

I smirk as Jess's face drops and she shakes her head at me silently in disbelief. I hold in my laugh.

"Hi, Jess," Louis calls.

"Hi Louis," she squeaks.

"He's a dick isn't he," Louis declares.

"Yep," Jess replies immediately, making Louis chuckle.

These two are similar, I think to myself. Jess slays just like Louis.

"What time are we flying tonight?" Louis asks.

Oh, he's talking to me.

"Like 8.30 or something," I answer, still grinning at Jess.

It's all I seem to do when I'm with her: Grin at her.

"Yeah thought so. OK I'll catch up with you later when you're not busy," Louis says, and I know he'll be hassling me for details of my date the minute we're on the plane.

"Bye Lou."

"Bye. Bye Jess," he calls again.

"Bye," Jess squeaks, and I hang up.

"Stop looking at me," she says as I turn to face her, and she quickly looks away and stares out the window. I can see the grin on her face though.

Is she really into Louis?

"So you weren't lying when you said you were a Louis girl," I tease her, but I am half serious.

"He's my second favourite," she says, still staring out the window, and I relax a little, until she adds, "After Liam."

I shake my head in disbelief and she looks at me and laughs.

"My ego is seriously bruised after the battering you've given it," I tell her, not entirely joking.

She's not fazed though.

"Oh please," she cuts in. "We've already had this conversation. Your ego is just fine. You need no help in that department."

I've honestly never had anyone knock me down as many times as this girl.

"I'll be getting a complex about my ability to please the ladies," I chuckle.

I'm trying to get her to admit she enjoyed last night, but she just rolls her eyes at me.

And then she says (with a hint of exasperation), "Where have you been the past 12 hours? I couldn't fake it that many times."

Oh my God.

She's just given me the biggest compliment but still managed to deliver it with attitude. She's hilarious.

And she's bright red again. I laugh delightedly.

"I need a mute button," she mumbles.

"No, you don't." I'm still laughing. "You put me in my place every time. I love it."

We're moving slowly along when Jess suddenly says, "It's just up here on the left, on the next block."

Damn, we're nearly at her office.

"Is there anywhere to stop outside?" I ask. It looks like double yellow lines all the way along.

"There's a pedestrian crossing a few metres further up, and it's always stop-start at this time in the morning," she replies, peering up ahead. "I'll be able to jump out when the lights change."

I still haven't decided what to do, I realise.

The conversation with Louis had distracted me, and now I've run out of time.

"I've really enjoyed our dates, Jess," I begin.

"Me too," she says shyly. "Thanks again for dinner last night. It was amazing."

No, YOU are amazing, I think to myself.

Focus.

"My pleasure," I reply.

"And thanks for embarrassing me in front of Louis," she adds. "It'll only take me a year of therapy to get over that."

"Also my pleasure," I laugh.

Why is she so bothered about Louis?

That twinge of jealousy is back.

I watch her out the corner of my eye as she checks her reflection in the mirror.

She's beautiful. Fuck.

Am I really about to let her walk out of my life?

The traffic in front of us is slowing down for the red light at the pedestrian crossing.

"I'll jump out when it stops," she says.

"OK," I nod.

Should I kiss her goodbye?

The car in front comes to a stop and I put the brake on and slip my sunglasses off so I don't look like a poser.

To my surprise and delight, Jess leans over and and kisses me confidently on the lips. I return it with equal feeling, and my stomach lurches with excitement.

"Its been great, Jess," I whisper.

"Yeah it has," she replies softly. She kisses me again and I close my eyes, but she pulls away and smiles. "Have an amazing tour," she says.

"Thanks, I will," I reply.

Her eyes are stunning.

"Bye," she says, and then she leans over to me again. I meet her half way and our lips touch softly one final time.

"Bye," I reply, and watch as she gets out of the car and shuts the door. The traffic lights have already turned to green so I slip my sunglasses on and turn to look at her as I move off. She's looking at me, so I give her a small wave, which she returns with a smile, and then she is out of sight.

I peer in the wing mirror and after a couple of seconds she comes into view, standing on the pavement talking to another blonde girl. I watch them for a few moments and then look back at the road and slam my brakes on just in time to avoid hitting the car in front. Thankfully I'm only doing about 5 miles per hour anyway, but even so, that was close.

I can just imagine explaining that one to Karen:

'So how did you scrape your car, Harry?'

'Well, Karen, I was dropping Jess - you remember her, the girl I took back to my flat for a one night stand with no security - off at work after spending the night at HER flat, with no security, and I was too busy staring at her in the wing mirror after she got out the car to pay attention to the road ahead.'

I can just picture Louis shaking his head at me and saying, "No chill."

I grin and switch the radio on, and listen to Grimmy on the breakfast show all the way back home.

When I arrive I walk straight to my bedroom, strip my shirt and jeans off and slide under the duvet. I switch my phone on silent and close my eyes, but as my head hits the pillow I am hit with the scent of Jess again.

For fuck's sake.

I bury my face in the pillowcase and breathe in deeply, and my stomach does a massive somersault.

This is just getting ridiculous now.

I throw the pillow on the floor and rest my head on my arms instead. I'm asleep in seconds.

~~~

I wake up at 11 with a dead arm. Great.

I reach for my phone and see a couple of missed calls. Mum, Jeff, Angela from Modest, and Louis.

There's a text from Louis as well: Call me back, dickhead.

Nice.

I pick the pillow up from the floor and shove it behind my head, and dial Louis.

"Hi," he answers after a couple of rings. "Where have you been?"

"I went back to bed when I got in. I needed to catch up on my sleep."

Louis gives a low whistle. "Like that, is it? Was she good?"

"Don't," I groan.

"Don't what?"

"Don't talk about her like that."

"It's a fair question."

"She's, like, amazing," I confess.

"Amazing in bed?" Louis asks excitedly.

"NO! Well - yeah, she is, but I didn't mean that," I mumble.

"Wait, you did it last night though, didn't you?"

I grin in spite of myself. "Twice. And again this morning."

"Nice," Louis approves. "So did you ask her to marry you?"

"What?" I'm confused.

"You have a serious lack of chill with this one. I wouldn't be surprised if you'd popped the question over breakfast."

"Fuck off."

He sniggers.

"So what's the plan for later?" he asks.

He means our flight this evening.

"Dunno," I yawn. "I've got a missed call from Angela. I'll call her back in a minute."

"I'm leaving in a sec," he says. "I'm still in Donny. Trevor's panicking in case there's traffic or something."

Trevor is one of Louis' drivers. He's always stressing about traffic.

"Better get your skates on," I tell him. "Did you manage to get hold of Zayn?"

"He texted me last night."

"Cool," I nod. "Hey - Lou - do you think I should text Jess?"

"H, are you familiar with this little word called chill?"

"I don't have time to have chill," I groan, covering my face with the crook of my arm.

"Text her when we get to Singapore or something," Louis advises. "You don't want to look too keen."

"I am keen, though," I mumble.

"No! Really?!" he mocks.

"I don't want her to think I was using her," I admit, to myself as much as to Louis.

"Don't text her that," he says disapprovingly.

"I want to see her again, but it's gonna have to go on hold for a couple of months," I think out loud.

"So what's the point in texting her now?" Louis reasons. "Leave it until we're on the next break."

"Mmmm," I mutter.

"You know it makes sense. You don't want to be mooning over a girl while we're touring. You did that over Nadine and drove us all fucking crazy."

"You were worse, bickering with El," I remind him. "And what about Zayn and Perrie?"

Louis ignores this. "Enjoy being single," he says. "I need a pulling partner now I'm single too. And Niall's banging Melissa so he won't be up for it."

We both laugh at the idea of Niall keeping his dick in his pants on tour.

"Gotta go, Trevor's whining," Louis says. "I'll see you later."

I hang up and call Angela, who tells me I am getting picked up at 6pm, and then I wander into the kitchen to make some food.

I hope Jess doesn't think I was just after a quick hook up.

I start making a sandwich.

I'll wait until we land in Singapore, and then I'll send her a casual text to see how she is and gauge her reaction.

What if she thinks I'm a player?

I make a cup of tea and sit at the breakfast bar with my sandwich.

Both times I've seen her we've had sex. I don't want her to think that's all I'm after. Was after. Am after. Fuck.

I wish I hadn't left it so late in the week to text her. I could have taken her out again before we left, and got to know her a bit more.

Or... I could see if she's free after work for a coffee or something? I could squeeze it in before I get picked up. Or is that being too keen?

I sigh and check my phone, hoping she might have texted me, but there's nothing. She'll be in work, anyway.

Fuck it.

I open up a message and quickly type, Hey Jess. Don't suppose you're free for a coffee after work? x

Send.

No chill.