(No Control - 15. Why Don't We Go There?)

I push myself off Jess, pull my boxers up and chuck the condom in the bin. "Is one of those for me?" I ask, catching sight of the mugs of tea on the counter next to us.

"Well it was, but it's probably a bit strong now. And I'm wearing half of it." She begins to make some more tea and I watch her, smiling.

"Yeah you're very jumpy," I tease.

"Well you shouldn't keep sneaking up on me!" she scolds me, and I grin. She puts a fresh cup of tea in front of me and we walk over to the breakfast bar and perch on the stools.

"So, you're heading up to see your family today?" she asks me.

"Yeah, I'm driving up there later."

I'm really looking forward to it. My mum knows I'm not seeing Nadine anymore and is bound to make a fuss over me. And to be honest I feel like I need a bit of TLC. The tour has been stressful lately, for various reasons, and I need this break.

"Yourself?" Jess is asking. "Or does someone drive you?"

"No, I'll drive myself today. I like driving."

I haven't driven since before we started the tour at the beginning of February. I like being independent.

"Cool. Well I'll get my stuff and be out of your hair," Jess replies, looking a bit uncomfortable.

Oh no - I don't want this to become awkward. I don't want her to think I can't wait to get rid of her. That couldn't be further from the truth. I fiddle with my hair nervously, and remember I haven't brushed it yet.

"You don't have to rush off, I'm not kicking you out," I say, and immediately think I could have worded that better.

"It's OK, I should be getting back home anyway," she says. She seems less confident than she did last night.

"You already said you had no plans today," I bat back at her. "You told me that last night."

She laughs and I notice she has a little dimple in her left cheek. "Wow, you really were listening, weren't you," she says, and she sounds pleased.

I frown at her surprise. "Of course. I had a great time last night." Didn't she? And I don't just mean the sex - I enjoyed our... date? Can you call it that? I'm not sure.

"Me too," she says, smiling shyly at me and I feel the same jolt from last night in my stomach again.

"Do you mind if I take a shower?" she says after she finishes the last of her cup of tea.

"Not at all," I respond. "There are towels in the airing cupboard in the en suite. Help yourself to anything you need."

She's going to be naked in my en suite in a minute. I suppress a grin at the thought.

"Thanks," she replies, and she disappears off in the direction of the bedroom.

I watch her walk away - oh my God she looks so hot in my shirt. I stare at her legs and quickly turn away when she reaches the door in case she turns and sees me perving on her. I hear the en suite door shut, and a minute later I hear the shower running.

I try not to think about her being naked in my shower but I can't help it. I let my mind wander back to last night - her lips on mine, her hands tugging at my hair, the feel of her around me... Christ I need to stop this.

I shake my head and feel my stomach rumble, and remember I didn't have a proper meal last night. I need to eat something.

I shove 4 slices of bread in the toaster and switch the kettle on again. I busy myself making breakfast, buttering toast, stirring the tea. Once everything's ready I bring it back over to the breakfast bar and sit back down on a stool. The shower has stopped running now. Jess will be back any minute.

I take a bite of toast and contemplate my options. I think I want to see her again. But realistically I'm only in the UK for a week, then we're back on tour until April when we have a two month break, which I plan on spending in LA. And being totally honest, my ego is still bruised after being unceremoniously dumped by Nadine last month. I really don't need any more complications in my life.

It's never a good idea, getting involved with a fan. They always have these unrealistic ideals - they feel like they already know me because they've read a couple of interviews and know I like eating ice cream and watching Love Actually - when in fact I don't know a thing about them. Everyone always preaches against it; management would have a fit if they got wind of this. I got an absolute bollocking over something similar last month on tour, just after Nadine and I broke up, and thankfully the girl in question kept quiet. What if Jess blabs?

No, I guess it's definitely for the best all round if this doesn't go any further. Jess doesn't seem that bothered anyway. I doubt she'll be heartbroken - she doesn't look the sort.

My thoughts are interrupted by a noise behind me and I turn around to see her walking towards me, in last night's clothes.

Oh my fucking God, she's gorgeous. My heart actually just skipped a beat.

My toast has turned to sawdust in my mouth as she comes over to me and I gesture to the plate of toast and the cup of tea I made her, because I am unable to speak. I swallow my mouthful and grimace as it goes down the wrong way, but she doesn't notice - she's too busy staring at her breakfast.

"Wow, um thanks," she says, looking like she wasn't expecting it. What was I going to do - let her starve?

I press my hand to my chest as the lump of food painfully makes its way down towards my stomach, and finally find my voice again.

"No worries. I'm gonna jump in the shower myself," I tell her.

"I'll call a cab and get out of your way," she says absentmindedly, glancing around the room.

What? She's leaving now?

"Don't be silly, I'll drive you home," I offer.

What the hell am I thinking?

"I can't ask you to do that," she says, turning to stare at me, a look of surprise on her face.

"You're not asking. I'm offering," I point out. "And if you're looking for your bag it's over there." I indicate to the worktop by the door.

There's a pause before Jess says, "OK, well, um, thanks."

"It's fine. I won't be long," I say and saunter casually into the bedroom.

As soon as I'm out of sight and earshot I let out a huge breath.

I need to learn how to be cool, seriously. What the hell was that, just then? I practically choked on my toast when I saw her. Thank God she didn't notice.

I kick my boxer shorts off and walk into the ensuite and stare at myself in the mirror. Hair: bird's nest. Face: flushed. At least I don't look pasty and hungover. I feel surprisingly chipper considering I haven't had much sleep.

I switch the water on and step inside the shower cubicle, letting the water cascade all over my body, washing away last night's fun. A song lyric springs to mind and I sing it under my breath. "I don't wanna wash away the night before."

No Control.

First Little White Lies, now this. What next? Serenading Jess with What Makes You Beautiful? I smirk at the thought.

I squeeze some shower gel onto my hands and rub it all over my body while I stick my head under the jets.

I start thinking about how much of a risk I took last night, bringing a fan back to my house. This could have been disastrous. It still could be, if Jess turns out to be the sort to go running to the media with a story. And she knows where I live - she could be a psycho.

It's weird, because I don't know her in the slightest - I literally met her 12 hours ago - but I have this gut feeling about her. I don't think she's going to spill the beans. She seems genuine and nice, and I like her. In a different world, in an alternate universe, she's the sort of girl I'd take home to my mum. And she's hot as fuck.

But I definitely don't need any more hassle in my life at the moment. I'm just going to drop her home and hope my instincts are right. And I certainly won't be telling management about this. There were no paps outside Lagoon last night so this will hopefully slip under the radar and no one will ever know.

I quickly wash my hair and then shut the water off, standing for a moment and letting the last of the water drip slowly onto the floor of the shower. I squeeze my hair out and wrap a towel round my waist before walking into my bedroom. I find a pair of clean boxers and pick up my jeans from the floor where I left them last night. I pull them on, grab a tshirt and spray a bit of aftershave on.

I wonder if Jess will like this fragrance? I don't want to seem like I'm trying too hard.

I open my suitcase and quickly take out all my dirty clothes and shove them into my holdall to take to Mum's. I grab some toiletries, and a few changes of clothes and pack them in my rucksack, and put both bags on the bed. I run a comb through my damp hair, then pick my towel up off the floor and rub my head to dry the last of it as I walk back through to the kitchen.

Jess is still sitting at the breakfast bar with her phone in her hand. She looks up at me and I smile at her as I walk towards her, and she smiles back.

That smile, though.

"How was the toast?" I ask, because I can't think of anything else to say.

"Great, thanks," she says. "Listen, I'm just gonna call a cab, it's not fair for you to have to drive me home."

"Why?" I ask. I don't get it - doesn't she want me to drive her home? "You live by Belsize Park don't you? I'm practically passing that way on my way out of London anyway."

Her phone goes off in her hand and I suddenly remember I followed her on Twitter last night. Oh fuck.

"OK, well thanks," she says finally. "I'm ready whenever."

I'd forgotten all about Twitter. Has she seen my follow yet? If she has, she either doesn't care or she's playing it cool. I'm not sure how I feel about this.

"OK cool, I'll get my bag and then we'll head off it that's OK?" I tell her, and quickly collect my stuff from the bedroom. I glance around as I leave, and realise it's a bit of a mess. Oh well. I'll tidy up when I get back next week.

I swing my rucksack onto my back and head back towards the kitchen and as I do I notice a movement outside the lounge window. I cut across the carpet and peer through the blind.

Fuck. I could really do without this.

"There's a photographer out there," I mutter.

"Oh no, really?" Jess says.

Her phone pings in her hand again and she looks down at it and frowns.

"Yeah, only one, though," I say, looking around to make sure there are no others lurking around. "He won't cause any problems." I hope.

"Ready?" I ask Jess as she stands up.

"Yep," she says breezily, and I lead her into the hall to the front door.

"Just ignore the pap," I tell Jess as I put a pair of sunglasses on. "Don't look at him if you can help it, and don't speak to him; he might shout some questions or something."

I sincerely hope he doesn't hassle us.

"Um, OK," Jess replies, and she suddenly sounds nervous.

I open the door and quickly walk to my Range Rover. I'm about to open the door for Jess but she scoots in front of me with her head down and jumps in the passenger side. I'm momentarily thrown, and have to change direction quickly. I glance at the photographer and smirk as I see him frantically trying to get the lens on his camera.

I slide into the driver's seat. Jess is staring at the floor and doesn't look up at me, but I'm amused by what I've just seen and need to share it.

"He wasn't even paying attention when we came out," I tell her, feeling a grin breaking on my face. "He was changing a lens on his camera. He was frantically trying to get it back on just then when he saw us."

She looks up at me and laughs and my stomach flips over when our eyes meet.

I start the car, put it in reverse and back out of the driveway, past the photographer who is now trying to get my attention by shouting my name and asking who Jess is.

I ignore him and concentrate on looking over my shoulder out of the back window as I turn the car around, but I can't resist sneaking a glance at Jess. As the car is turning, she is slowly turning her head so the pap can't see her face. It's fucking brilliant. I am so impressed.

I put the car into first gear and drive away. I'm still grinning.

"Smooth," I tease her. "Have you done this before?"

"NO!" she protests, laughing and gently slapping my thigh, making me laugh.

We drive down the road and I suddenly remember I'm supposed to be taking her home.

"I don't have a clue where I'm supposed to be going," I admit. "Put your postcode in the sat nav."

Jess leans forward and types it in, and then sits back as it calculates the route.

I stare out of the front window.

I'm still grinning.