(No Control - 13. Little White Lies)

If this room was burning, I wouldn't even notice. Cos you've been taking up my mind with your little white lies, little white lies.....

I'm absolutely horrified. Of all the songs they could play right now, they choose this. She's going to think I planned this. She's going to think I'm a complete loser who plays his own music at home. She's going to leave isn't she. She's going to laugh in my face and leave. Frankly I wouldn't blame her.

"It's the radio, honestly," I stammer. "I really don't listen to my own music, like some sort of egomaniac."

She doesn't answer; she's staring into space and drumming the beat - the exact fucking drumbeat - against her own leg with her fingers. She really is a big fan if she knows the beat in this much detail.

Her passion for this song, her favourite song, is hot as fuck.

The first verse comes to a close and the beat stops for a second before the chorus kicks in. She looks over at me and something's changed. She's looking at me differently. There's a new kind of desire in her eyes. The kind that may just be acted upon. (I'm ever hopeful.)

We stare at each other as the chorus plays and I suddenly hear the lyrics, as if for the first time. Christ, this song is about tonight. It's about her.

"I think I know why you like this song so much," I murmur, with a tone of disbelief that I hadn't noticed the similarities sooner. I'm standing up now, pulling her off her stool too. I need her in my arms.

"Why is that?" she whispers as my arms slip around her small waist, but I know she knows. She's been playing games with me all night, teasing me and tempting me.

And now she's here, in my kitchen, her stare burning into me with an intensity I haven't seen in her before. I say nothing and let the lyrics of the second verse do the talking.

Back seat of the cab, we're in a cab now, lips getting so attached, they're so attached now you wanna make some rules now, cool, and we'll watch them break tonight... I know what you want, and I've been waiting so long....

Everything about it applies to tonight, even down to kissing in the back of the car. I can't believe it. This is making me seriously hot. I pull her against me tightly and lower my face towards hers. She's looking at me with a burning passion behind her eyes.

"This could have been written about you," I tell her. I don't care if it sounds like a line, it's true.

I'm barely breathing as I skim my fingers over her hips underneath her top, testing the water. She's either going to slap me or fuck me. I'm praying it's the latter.

I'm so turned on I can't even speak. But I don't need to, because the song says everything I want to say.

I know you want it, I know you feel it too... Let's stop pretending that you don't know and I don't know just what we came to do....

I close the gap between our lips and kiss her with everything I've got. I want her. She's incredible, she's hot, and no one has given me these kind of feelings before, ever. Not even Nadine. Right now, she's not even a distant memory.

All I can focus on is the here and now, Jess's lips on mine, her groin pressing hard against me, her hands on my chest.

I can feel goosebumps on her skin and it makes me giddy that I provoke that reaction from her. I slip my hands up her back, underneath her top, gently skating my fingers over her skin. My hands brush her bra strap and I have a sudden urge to ping it mischievously, like a pre-pubescent kid. I don't, though.

I press my hands against her back, so every inch possible of her body is touching a part of mine. Our kissing is heating up even more. Our breathing is fast and urgent, and I'm in no doubt she wants me; she's finally given in. She knows where this is going, and so do I.

The song finishes its last chorus and I'm struck again by the lyrics and how they apply to us. I believe that she is a good girl, and I believe this is totally out of character for her, which quite honestly flatters me.

I grab the remote off the counter without pulling away from Jess, and manage to turn the radio off. She slides her arms gently around my neck and I push her backwards towards my bedroom. I can't stop kissing her, not even to look for the light switch. She's addictive. I can't get enough of her.

I clumsily bat my hand against the wall like some sort of retarded sealion, and miraculously hit the switch so the lights come on low. I kick the door shut behind us and it slams noisily as Jess begins unbuttoning my shirt.

Our earlier conversation pops into my head and I smirk at the irony. "Oh so now you want to take my shirt off..," I tease her, pausing our kissing for a second to smirk at her.

She smiles at me in acknowledgement and then says, "Well I tried throwing two drinks over you but you just wouldn't take the hint."

I let my shirt fall to the floor and she begins rubbing her hands over my chest, before lightly tracing one finger over the tattoo on my stomach. I softly kiss her neck and then pull her top over her head and drop it on the floor with my shirt. We begin kissing again and she pulls my hips to hers, and I know she can feel my boner digging into her. This thought turns me on even more and I run my fingers through her long hair as her tongue tuns along my bottom lip. Her hair is soft and silky, and it tickles my forearms, giving me shivers.

Her fingers find the button on my jeans and I kick my shoes off and feel a flutter of nerves as she pulls my jeans down and I'm left just in my boxers. I catch her checking me out. Thank God I put a nice pair on tonight.

I unbutton her jeans too, and as she takes her shoes off I suddenly realise how small she is - those heels must have been pretty damn high.

"Hey, where'd you go?" I joke.

Shit, I hope she's not one of these people who are sensitive about their height. I mean, she's not that short or anything, but you never know.

But she responds with, "I'm going nowhere," and slides her jeans down in a way that can only be described as erotic as fuck.

And - praise the lord - she's wearing a matching underwear set. Some fucking shiny lacy thing that makes me tingle in all the right places.

I can't help but make an appreciative noise, and I'm aware I'm grinning at her like some sort of dirty pervert.

I need her, like, now.

I lean down to kiss her again, and guide her backwards to the bed. She lays down and I lay over her, propping myself up on my elbows so I don't crush her, and begin kissing her again.

Her hands find my boxers and she slides her fingertips over the waistband and then stops.

Tease.

I bring one hand up and gently stroke her breast and she moans, which makes my entire body tingle this time. I lean down to kiss her neck as well and she arches her back off the bed. I take this opportunity to reach behind her and unclip her bra. She pulls it off and I bury my head into her chest, finding her nipple with my tongue which makes her moan again, louder this time, and pull at my hair with her fingers. I love that she's enjoying it. So far, so good.

I want to see her properly, to appreciate how beautiful she is. I sit up after a minute and pull her up too, and she quickly slides her leg over me so she is sitting on my lap, facing me. She strokes my face, holding it delicately in her soft hands, and kisses me. Damn this is so hot. My fingers find her nipples again and she pushes me back on the bed so she's astride me, leaning down over me, and kisses me hard. And then - Christ - she's biting down on my bottom lip and I hear myself moan out loud. I am so turned on I think I might explode. I'm actually getting worried I'm not going to last more than a few seconds when we get down to it. I need to calm down a bit or I will be embarrassing myself shortly.

Her mouth is on my ear lobe now, and she's going down... down my neck, down my chest, down my stomach. Oh my God is she doing what I think she's doing?

She reaches my waist, and lifts the waistband of my boxers over my erection. I lift my head to look at her but as she runs her tongue over the tip of me I let out my loudest moan yet and my head falls back on the bed. I can feel myself throbbing now, and she's running her warm, wet tongue all over me. This is going to be over in seconds. I breathe hard, trying to think of anything other than what she's doing.

Manchester United... kittens... dirty dishes...

Nope, nothing's working. I'm getting close. Fuck.

Reluctantly I lean up with my elbows behind me and watch her for a second before saying, "I won't last two minutes with you doing that." My voice sounds high pitched and strangled, and I'm totally embarrassed, but not as embarrassed as I would have been if I'd let her carry on. I said two minutes, but I think the reality would have been more like ten seconds.

"But...," she begins, but I push her onto her back and lean over her.

"That was waaayy too good," I tell her. I hope she believes me. I don't want her to think she was doing anything wrong - it was exactly the opposite.

I press my mouth onto hers again and she sighs as I run my hand down her front and then over the inside of her thighs. I'm nervous again as I slip one finger into her pants and feel how wet she is. She gasps at my touch and I slip my tongue in her mouth as I softly move my finger in and out.

I really really want to be inside her.

"Have you got a condom?" she asks, as if she's read my mind. Or maybe we're just completely on the same page right now.

I try not to look too eager as I get one out while she slips her pants deftly down her legs. As soon as I'm ready I slip on top of her; I've been waiting for this moment since I first kissed her.

Don't let me fuck this up, please.

I find her lips again; I can't get enough of her kisses. I gently push into her - oh yes, this is awesome - and she lets out a whimper, her breath hot on my face. I pause for a second - is it hurting her?

She doesn't tell me to stop, so I start to move and - oh God, she's wrapping her legs around mine and I can feel the tension building already. Her hands are stroking my skin and she's breathing fast. I look down at her but her eyes are closed. She's stunning. Her face is perfect. And the way she looks right now, her lips slightly parted and her cheeks flushed... she's making me lose control.

I kiss her again, over and over again, savouring the softness of her lips on mine... but I'm getting close, too close. I need to stop but I can't, it's too good.

For fuck's sake, Harry, get it together.

I stop just in time, and take a couple of deep breaths.

The Green Bay Packers... The Antiques Roadshow... stale cigarettes.

Jess opens her eyes and looks at me questioningly.

"I need to slow down for a minute," I mutter, embarrassed at having to admit this.

She doesn't say anything but reaches up and brushes my hair out of my face and then pulls me down to her and kisses me, like she's telling me it's fine. I kiss her back and lay completely still, until the feeling passes and I feel confident I can carry on again.

"That was a bit close," I confess, and I begin moving again, faster this time, hoping this is good for her.

She wraps her legs tighter around me and suddenly I'm getting that feeling back again. No no no no.

Ok, think!

Gardening manuals... housework... public toilets... sour milk...

Fuck, it's no good, I'm going to have to stop again. This is mortifying.

I slow down but she gasps and I feel her nails press into my back. "Don't stop," she whispers.

Oh no, this is so awkward, I need to stop! I'll have to tell her, again.

"But...," I begin but she cuts me off by panting, "Trust me."

Oh God, the way she just said that then... it sounded so innocent but so dirty... it's going to make me come.

I desperately try and think about something else, anything else, but all that's in my head is her heavy breathing and the feel of her all around me. Oh God. Here we go.

She suddenly cries out and I'm so fucking relieved as I realise she's coming too, and I squeeze my eyes shut and press my lips onto hers and I let myself go.

It's fucking earth shattering. I can feel my legs shaking and I groan into her mouth without realising. It goes on and on, and by the time we're both done I physically collapse on top of her wondering what the hell just happened.

I can feel her heart hammering and her fingers gently stroking my hair as she breathes deeply. After a minute I pull out and chuck the condom in the bin, and lay on my side looking at her. I grin stupidly, involuntarily.

"I've been dying to do that for about 8 hours," I tell her.

All attempts at being cool have gone out of the window, as you can tell.

"Ha!" she scoffs. "I've been dying to do that for about 2 years!"

Woah, what did she just say???

I can't control my laughter at her honesty and confidence. "Was it worth the wait?" I want to know, but I think I already know the answer. No one can fake it that good.

"You tell me," she says cheekily, still not giving an inch.

"Definitely," I nod.

It was, and I know she enjoyed it too. I kiss her again, just for the way she excites me.

"Hmmm, I suppose," she says casually, and I chuckle.

"You could really damage a guy's ego, saying things like that," I scold her, unable to wipe the grin off my face, but she's not falling for it one bit.

"Oh please. I'm sure your ego is rock solid. Besides, you finally broke my resolve never to sleep with someone I just met. Consider that a pretty big compliment."

Damn right I will, Jess. I am totally and completely flattered.

"I will," I reply, suddenly feeling really sleepy.

"It's four in the morning!" she suddenly exclaims. "You must be shattered!"

"Yeah, I'm pretty beat," I admit, but I don't want her to think I'm hinting at her to leave.

I don't want this night to end.

"Stay tonight with me?" I ask.

Please say yes. Please don't go.

"I'm sure Paul wouldn't appreciate a call to take me home right now," she says, smiling shyly at me.

I feel bad, all of a sudden. I don't want her to feel pressured into staying if she doesn't want to. But I will be strangely disappointed if she leaves.

I touch her arm. "Don't stay because you feel you have to. Stay because you want to."

"I do want to," she says, still looking at me shyly.

I'm more relieved than I should be.

"Good," I nod.

We get under the covers and I pull her into the crook of my arm and kiss the top of her head. Her hair is so silky and smells like a tropical island, all coconutty and fresh. I feel her delicately stroking my collarbone and it totally relaxes me.

My eyes are closing but I'm trying so hard to fight it....