" yes, they say that he took an overdose of sleeping pills there was no chance to save him but still ... they found out that he was stabbed before he died that's making out of it an attempted murder and they can't prove if he drunk the pills with his own free will or someone put them on his drink " jungkook explained " unfortunately up to date all the proofs are leading to you "

My hand slid from his finger and fell beside me. my eyes looking at my feet

I was speechless

Hurt in different ways

" did I kill him? " my hands started shaking, I was crying inside but nothing came out.

I can't remember what happened that night after we argued, that makes me suspect myself and take their side.

" jungkook I killed him! " my eyes finally locked with his and he kinda understood what I was feeling, he hugged me burying his face on the crook of my neck as he repeated " no you didn't kill him "

His hand slid down my arm and grabbed my shaking hand holding it tight to make it steady while staring at me with his glittering eyes " I believe you, why can't you believe yourself "

" I'm tired you can't understand how much I want to leave this world behind " I whispered, " I can't even cry what's wrong with me "

With his hand on the back of my neck he pulled me closer burrying my face on his chest as his other hand hugging my waist and leaning his cheek on top of my head like hiding me from the world and the reality.

" I want to die I can't take this anymore " as I said that drops of tears fell on my cheeks, but not mines.

I backed away to look at him his tears streaming down his cheeks but I was standing in front of him with a frown only.

It's me who's supposed to cry
But I can't
As if I was cursed to live with the weight of his death inside me
As if I don't even deserve to cry it out

" I want to sleep " I stammered, walked to the bed and lied down.

He stared at me confused, wiped his tears with his sleeves " are you sure ? "

I turned on the other side my back now facing him and I curled up in bed

" I'll sleep on the couch if you need to talk or anything call me " he said eying me with worry but I didn't respond.

I opened my eyes when the door got closed. the last thing I want to see is his tears, he has done enough for me so the least I should do is to deal with my pain alone.

I lied on my back and stayed still physically looking at the ceiling but mentally looking at my past, when my biggest problem was someone crazy in love with me.

I only realized that I have feelings for him after I lost him, they were hidden behind my stubborn temper- I hate to be controled and that's what he was doing.

I dosed off after a while surrendering to sleep.

3rd person's p.o.v

Jungkook tossed and turned on the couch searching for a comfortable position that can be able to make him cease thinking about her and drift to sleep.

The fact that she didn't cry it out worried him more. The tears show how much the person is hurt every human shows his emotions through them. jungkook since he was a child he had a soft side for anyone crying no matter what type of relationship he has with them friends, coworkers, strangers he will cry with them and try to comfort them. However, he had never dealed with someone who's too hurt to shed a tear, seeing her not crying in the situation when she is supposed to cry hurt him more than anything else. He could read through her and his heart shuttered.

He was still lost in his thought when he heard a faint scream coming from the bedroom where she was sleeping, he jumped out of the couch and in no time he was inside the room.

He let out a heavy breath in relief when he saw her sleeping soundly. a nightmare isn't as serious and scary as the bad thought he had once he heard her scream, he can't help but be scared because of her suicidal tendencies.

A girl who jumps carelessly from 3 floor distance has certainly lost interest in living.

He crept closer to her without making any noise and sat on the edge of the matress.

" no please don't " she sleep talked and a frown was formed on her face.

Jungkook sat there watching her and wondering what kind of nightmares she was having.

" I'm scared " her breath hitched.

How bad he wished she could say that when she was awake instead of pretending to be strong and fearless.

" y/n " jungkook called quietly her name cautious to not scare her " it's ok y/n it's just a nightmare " he whispered as his hand reached out her cheeks and rubbed them gently " y/n " he repeated a little louder this time and he thought he woke her up when she grabbed his wrist with both hands but actually she was still deep in herr sleep. when she opened her mouth again she shuttered his heart into million pieces with her words " please jimin don't leave me "

She pulled him closer

" please stay beside me jimin "

———

Y/n's p.o.v

The smell of tasty meal

I felt at home safe and warm

The smile faded when I remembered that I was not at home, when I'll open my eyes I won't see my room and when I'll go downstairs I won't see my parents. Few seconds of thinking then the reality hit me when I perceived that an arm was hugging my waist and someone was pressed behind me. My eyes shot open and I turned my head just to see a sleeping jungkook making a barely audible cute snorts.

But why is he clinging to me ?

I leaned on my elbow pushing myself free from his grip but he tightened his grip and pulled me even closer spooning me like a stuffed bear with one of his legs on my hip pulling me to him.

WTF?

I turned around to face him and the first thing I noticed was the wet pillow.

How much did he cry last night? Did he cry all night long? Is it because of me? Why is he even sleeping here?

Too many question were lingering in my mind.

That's why I don't want to open up to you about how I feel

I don't want to see your tears

Don't cry because of me please

I'm sorry for what I said yesterday I just can't control my suicidal thoughts that's what I am

I promise I won't let you see that side of me again, cuz anyway I'm not ready to kill myself

I promised you to prove that I'm innocent and worth your trust, till then I'll survive.

That's the least I can do for you.

I smiled then bit his arm leaving a mark on it.

He jolted and looked at me confused " what the heck was that? "

His bed hair and sleepy eyes were so cute I chuckled at the sight.

" Love bites " I replied as I finally set myself free

" more like Dinausaurs bites " he said and lied on his back, he looked exhausted and I wanted to know why so badly.

" that's just how confused I was when I saw you clinging to me the first thing in the morning "

" you had a nightmare yesterday? " it looked more like a statment not a question, the little did he know that I was seeing nightmares every single night since the incident.

" are you ok? " he asked as he put his hand under his head and looked at me.

" I'm truly fine, the nightmare starts when I open my eyes. the dreams are not a big deal " I smiled and nudged him " go wash up quickly I smell tasty foods that's probably the last good meal you'll have because I can't cook "

He chuckled as he stands up.

" I can cook for myself " he smirked proud to beat me on this.

" as expected from jungcook "

————

The hospitality of the couple surprised us one more time when we walked downstairs to a table full with divers tasty meals that can feed 10 people.

We sat around the table talked about random things and got to know each other more, they were so nice and kindhearted.

They left us and went to get the door when the bell rang- excited to meet their grandson although they said he visits them a lot but that was not surprising from their sweet souls which treats strangers like a family.

The new voice seemed familiar but I couldn't point my finger on the owner, I shrugged and continued stuffing my mouth with food.

" here they are " I turned my head when the old lady talked and my jaw dropped when I saw the guy standing between them who wasn't less shocked than me.

Taehyung!!

♡♧♡♧♡

“It was nice seeing you again
But it hurts
Knowing that you don't feel the same “