" my heart melted yesterday when I saw you dancing with jungkook, you two are match made in heaven " lisa said and jumped beside me on the bed " don't thank me I captured the moment "

I pushed her hand away when she was about to show me the video

" he rejected me " I said bitterly.

Seulgi and nayeon were cooking but when they heard that they gathered around me, the loft was an open space and wasn't the large type so the slighest noice can easily be heard.

" is he out of his mind? Who rejects a girl like you " lisa huffed annoyed

" he said he can't consider me anything other than jimin's crush " I buried my face on my knees hugging them, my chest tightened when I remembered his words.

" that's all because of jimin- " seulgi was talking when she noticed the bandages on my forearm covered under my sleeves and changed the topic immediately to what matters more " you hurt your arm again "

" don't tell me you hurt yourself because of a guy " nayeon scolded me

I wiped my cheeks which were already wet with tears " no I accidently- " lisa interrupted me yelling- done with all the lies  " you always say accidently but the scars are in the same spot that makes no sense we are not fools. besides I feel like jungkook is a coward he doesn't want to confront his friend so don't give up, fight for him "

" stop giving her false hope " nayeon protested.

" she won't lose anything from trying " seulgi snapped back " she loved him for years now she won't give up from the first attempt, right ? " she touched my chin to make me look at her

" what should I do ? " I asked with no passion just empty expression and complicated thoughts

" make him jealous, boys lose their sanity when they are jealous " lisa replied

" what if he doesn't care ? "

" we'll keep trying duh " lisa chuckled " that's what you told me when I met jackson and look how far we go "

I smiled and hugged her

" and me? " seulgi pouted I chuckled and jumped on her hugging nayeon with the other arm too.

I'm lucky to have them beside me.

" I will make your favorite dishes " seulgi told me and walked to the kitchen.

We helped each other making our dinner. Nayeon was focusing on her phone and her facial expression said that something serious was happening so curiously I peeked at her phone

" I love you? " I mumbled and she hid her phone quickly her eyes wide opened

" who's the lucky person you are texting ? " I asked raising an eyebrow

" uh " she stuttered as I called the others to get their attention

" girls come here nayeon has just confessed her love to someone "

They all showered her with questions

" girls it's really nothing " she said running her hand through her hair

" what do you mean by nothing? I saw it with my own eyes why are you hiding something as big as this from us we are friends we share everything " I was a little disappointed to be honest.

" he's someone I met on internet I will make sure to introduce you to him if we become a thing " she explained

" show us a picture at least I'm curious we haven't seen your taste in men yet "

seulgi grabbed her arm shaking it like a baby. She has so much aegyo when she's around us but bloody dead drop sexy around guys.

" he doesn't like to take photos just be patient "

We pouted in synchronisation and went back to complete what we were doing

28 june 2019.

I got a job interview call from a big car company. I wore a white blouse and dark blue skirt looking professional and a little older than my age or at least that's what I felt since I'm not used to this kind of styles.

I was hella nervous, I really wanted that job I couldn't allow myself to miss up this opportunity.

However once I entered the interview room all my worries vanished and I became a new person, I played the role perfectly so I was kinda positive when they said that they will give me call later to let me know the final decision.

I only noticed that the company is close to jimin's work when I was leaving, I was too anxious earlier to scan the surrounding. I went to grab a coffee to freshen up, the coffee shop wasn't crowded to my luck only one person on the line. As the barista was making my coffee I scanned the place for an empty seat but my eyes stopped at the last person I wanted to see at that moment, jungkook.

He looked hot as always in a black suit staring at his phone and the other hand holding a cup of coffee.

I would drool for him if the awful memory didn't distract me.

I stared away and turned my back to him when he moved on his seat

" please can you be a little quick " I whispered to the barista and he smiled probably understood why I was suddenly in a rush after staring at one of the customers.

He handed me my cup and I accidently pushed the pack of paper cups that was lined up aside

" oh I'm sorry " I bowed for the young man and I hurried toward the exit

" wait miss take sugar " he called

" fuck " I cursed for only me to hear and I decided to walk outside like if I didn't hear his loud voice.

" y/n ! " I stopped on my track when I heard jungkook's voice

Great I'm a one lucky girl

I sighed and wore a careless expression before turning to his direction, he motioned me with his long fingers to approach his table and honestly that was the second hottest thing I have ever seen him done the first is dancing to chris brown take you down.

I limped awkwardly toward his seat like a student who were caught cheating by a teacher during the final test. Not even the teachers intimidated me as he does.

" hey " I smiled like if I wasn't dying inside from embarrassement.

" were you avoiding me ? "

No I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me

" no what are you talking about " I cracked a laugh to sound confident as I slid the seat and sat across him

" don't do that again that makes me feel like I'm a bad guy because I should have chosen my words more wisely I didn't mean to be rude I was just surprised and- "

" this " I pointed my fingers at him before continuing " this is why I will avoid you next time too "

He chuckled and leaned on the back of his chair staring at me with those sexy doe eyes I felt like melting

" let's forget what happened ok ? I think I was a little bit tipsy "

" let's call jimin he would be happy to join us " he said

I tried to act unbothered but call it a reflex I rolled my eyes and looked down at my cup

" yeah you weren't tipsy " he whispered calmly and I realized that he was testing me, stupid me.

" can we change the topic ? Or should I take my leave? "

" no please don't " he waved his hands feeling guilty for teasing me

" I have never seen you in classy clothes what's the occasion ? "

He was right my fashion style is far away from classy, I prefer edgy weird and comfy clothes more but I was surprised that he noticed that I thought I was invisible for him.

I told him about the interview and our conversation became professional since we both had the same major at college. He gave me some advices since he's my senior, I learned a lot from him- I learned that he has 2 moles that's important to mention.

My phone rang interrupting him from whatever he was saying and waking me up from my trance

He watched me as I listened to the caller without saying a word but my eyes widened

Once the call ended I stood up and screamed " they hired me "

I jumped on my place in happiness, that was one of the happiest moments in my life I saw my future brightened up. Jungkook stood up and congratulated me with a wide bunny smile on his angelic face.

I jumped on his arm and hugged him tightly feeling his body pressed against mine and probably suffocating him.
However the enthusiasm died down the moment I realized what I have done.

I trailed back looking at his chest where my face was buried then slowly looking up at his face, he didn't look fazed but I had to apologize I crossed the line again he clearly stated that he has no interest in me but I was pushing myself on him.

" I'm sorry " I mumbled.

" I'm so happy for you " he smiled as he ruffled my hair

I smiled back nervously before stuttering " I- uh I have to go to tell my friends bye "

He waved his hand so it was the cue for me to run outside.

05 july 2019.

The day of the party jackson and lisa held in a hotel to celebrate bachelorhood.

I checked my makeup in the bathroom before I walked to the yard
Music was loud I walked to the round table where the familiar faces were.
My eyes met jungkook's but I looked away quickly- following the plans of lisa which I kept repeating in my head ' ignoring a guy after treating him nicely will drive him crazy ' that's what she said, and for a double result be flirty with someone else.

Jimin held my hand and intertwined our fingers

" I missed you " he said

" you were stalking me yesterday " I whispered

" I miss you every second you're away from me " he replied drawing circles on my hand

" let's drink all the night long till we pass out " seulgi cheered and poured vodka in our glasses.

Jungkook was surprisingly drinking alot that night and he didn't say a word.

I was worried? yes, but can I do anything? no

Lisa started opening the zip of her dress seducively

" strip off " she pointed at jackson " I dare you to take them all off "

This is getting out of hand, she was always crazy and that's what I love about her.

Jackson started following her words, kai and seulgi were laughing at them while I was stealing glances at jungkook who was focusing on gulping a glass after the other.

I forgot my plans to make him jealous seeing his state.

Lisa and jackson jumped on the pool and splashed us with water while giggling.
Even that didn't make jungkook move or look up.

I started to get drunk after some shots I didn't think straight when I grabbed jimin by the collar and kissed him passionately.

He kissed back immediately, I hugged his neck and deepened the kiss. I pulled away breathing heavily and then I noticed we were left alone on the table
Seulgi and kai were dancing and kissing each others but jungkook was nowhere to be seen.

" I gotta go " I said

I lost my balance when I stood up but jimin caught me

" I will take you home " I didn't have a choice so I told him the address of the loft.

I tried to open the door when we arrived but I missed the hole for keys in every attempt

He chuckled and snatched the keys from my hand. He opened the door and when I thought he will leave he followed me inside and closed the door

" you have to go jimin I want to sleep " I ignored him and walked toward the bed so he can understand that it's time for him to leave.

However I heard his footsteps behind me, I turned around to kick him out but he slammed his lips on mine and then pushed me on the bed hovering over me

" jimin stop " I tried my best to fight him back and stop him from kissing me but he kept crashing his lips on mine while trying to pin my hands and hold my face from moving.

He stopped when he saw tears running down my cheeks and slightly backed away just enough for me to speak

" are you trying to rape me again? You apologized the last years just to do the same mistake in the end ? " I yelled and hit his chest with every word

" you will never change you are even worse now " I pushed him and this time he didn't resist. I stood up and walked to the door he stopped me half way

" I thought you love me? You kissed me earlier " he said nervously.

" I don't jimin, I don't love you and I will never so stop please. I love jungkook he's my first love and he will be my last. now that you know it if you want to kill me then do it " I let out all the words I was afraid to say for years.

" so you were using me all this time to approach him? " he breathed out a laugh in disbelief and started to walk back and forth with a frown as he tried to absorb my sudden confession

" no jimin you are wrong I've never wanted to be with you, you forced yourself on me I was scared but I don't care anymore. I can't stay forever like that I can't stand being hurt my whole life. I'm ready to pay all costs to keep running toward my dream and my happiness but you are blocking my way jimin "

He was crying by then, I backed a little rethinking about my words. I was rude indeed and I'll certainly regret it tomorrow.

" I'm sorry jimin let's talk again when I'm sober " I said and left the loft without looking back but little did I know that that was the last time I'll see him.

♡♧♡♧♡

 “I will never stop trying. Because when you find the one… you never give up.”