Harry

When Marlene and Jonathan pulled apart she looked at Gemma, quickly letting go, both of them apologized. "Sorry we met years ago when I was sixteen on this family trip to New York, Johnny helped me find my way back to the hotel and saved me from getting lost."

"Oh?" Gemma nodded looking at me."Oh..." She said a little odd.

"Well, what a small world." My mum laughed. "Harry darling I want to see the baby." I nodded.

"Do you guys want some tea before bed?" Marlene asked walking them to the kitchen.

By the time I got my parents settled in, I went downstairs where I got halfway through a story. "So I told her that I was going to stay because I felt like she was the one and I wasn't going to give up the opportunity on love," he spoke about Gemma making Marlene smile big.

"That's so cute, I'm so happy for you." she turned to me and reached out to hold my hand.

"Okay so is someone going to tell me how you two know each other?" I blurted out kinda tired of the friendly chatting between what should have been two strangers. Marlene looked at the time and told me it was late. We said goodnight and went to Oliver's room where I had set up the inflatable mattress. "Marlene?"

"You're going to judge me. I would rather not speak of this." She started putting her hair up for bed. She was already dressed.

"You once told me you lost your virginity in New York, was it with him?" She looked out the window and shook her head. "Okay, so who-"

"It was with his brother," she whispered. "Joshua." I had only met Jonathan's brother once at their wedding. According to Jonathan, he's a bit of a fuck up, divorced, and rude.

Also about eight years older than Marlene.

"Marlene, you were underage." she sighed covering her face. "Even in New York, that's illegal."

"I met Jonathan on the subway and he was nice and told me how to get back to our hotel. He was with his brother and I told them that I was eighteen so they'd want to hang out. We spent the day doing all the fun things my mom wouldn't let me do and I would sneak out of the hotel at night to go hang out." she sighed. "On my last day only Joshua was there, I didn't know he was twenty-five. He thought I was eighteen so stuff happened." she shook her head. "I told Johnny and he told me that he was married and older, I was so embarrassed that I never kept in contact with him."

She looked at her hands and sniffled. "Hey, I'm not judging you, you were young."

"I broke a marriage, I was a home wrecker and a slut who slept with the first guy who looked at me twice. I did the same thing with you-"

"Do not call yourself that Marlene," I said quickly. "You didn't break a marriage, he did, he ruined his life do you understand? I left Emily, you had nothing to do with my choice, I wanted you." She didn't look at me. "Look at me." she turned. "It's in the past, you are not a slut or any bad name you call yourself for having sex in the past. No need to cry." she leaned into me and hugged me tightly.

"I've changed I swear." She stated.

"You have in the best way." I rubbed her back laying us down on the bed. She held onto me closely and I knew that there was something else to this story but she was too afraid to tell me.

*

Marlene

Around seven I woke up to make breakfast for everyone. I heard footsteps and turned to find Gemma there. "Morning, would you like some coffee?" She nodded taking a seat. "Merry Christmas." Her smile was genuine, yet I felt awkward around her so I just made breakfast. "You know about everything?"

"I only know part of the story, do you mind filling me in?" she said after a minute. I told her everything and she sighed. "Sixteen? You were sixteen?" I nodded. "That's statutory rape-"

"Please it was in the past, don't say that word it makes me feel worse." I heard Oliver crying and quickly turned the stove down and took the first pancake off the flat top. "Excuse me."

I walked down the hall and saw Harry just about to get up. I looked in the crib and Oliver had been able to move to his side. "Hi, cutie did you wake up?" He looked at me and rolled onto his back kicking his legs.

"Here hand him to me I need to change his diaper," Harry said. I picked him up and Harry took him in his arms and kissed him. "Poor baby are you hungry?"

"Morning." I bent down to kiss him, getting a small kiss back. He stood up to go change the baby on his changing table. I stood there for a minute watching him play with Ollie and put his 'first Christmas' outfit on.

He turned to look at me with the baby on his arm. "Is there something you wanted to tell me?" I shook my head. "Alright then, you okay?" Honestly, I felt a bit out of place.

"Yeah, I'm going to go finish breakfast." He nodded before I quickly made my way out of the room. As I walked down the hallway I could hear Gemma and Harry's mom speaking.

"...well she's the reason Joshua got divorced and is such a mess."

"It was his choice to do those things with a young girl. You can't blame her and I don't want you looking at her different. Harry loves her and you will be respectful." I smiled at Anne's words as I stood by the entrance.

"She probably broke up Harry and Emily too. " His father said. "Emily was good for Harry."

"Dad please, that woman was a nightmare." Suddenly Gemma appeared at the entrance and gasped. "Oh hi." She smiled awkwardly looking back and sighed, whispering to me. "You heard everything?"

"It's fine, excuse me." I walked past her.

*

By that night I felt really out of place and didn't get involved in any conversation. All of these topics were 'You had to be there' type of conversations and I had become bored so I made dinner.

What hurt me wasn't the fact that I was left out of everything but the fact that they kept bringing Emily into it. 'Remember that Christmas with Emily?" or 'that was at Emily's party.'

I set the table when I heard Harry come into the dining area. "Sweets do we have any wine?" I shook my head. "You alright?" he asked walking over to me. I nodded quickly not saying anything. "Wish you'd come to sit out there with us."

"I don't really understand the stories so..." he sighed. "I think I'm gonna go to my parent's house and drop off my sibling's gifts," I told him.

"You're leaving?" I nodded.

"The foods ready and you guys can eat without me." he looked at me as I walked into the actual kitchen and pulled off my apron.

"Marlene, you told me we'd go tomorrow morning to your parent's house and now you're leaving?" I sighed.

"I just feel left out Harry, I keep hearing about Emily and I have to just sit there and listen to stories of things I don't know about that you won't explain to me." I looked down. "You know what, I'm just going to lay down." he tried grabbing my hand but I walked past him to walk to the room. As I made it to the hallway Jonathan came out of the bathroom and smiled at me. "Hey."

"Marlene I've been meaning to talk to you since I saw you." I sighed ready for him to speak. "I'm sorry for what happened to you, I never thought my brother was as sick and perverted as he was."

"I lied to him and told him I was eighteen." I shrugged. "He believed me." he scoffed and shook his head.

"Marlene we knew how old you were, at least we knew you were underage. Why do you think I stopped going over to your hotel? Yeah, you were cool and a really good friend, but you were a kid." I looked down. "My brother went there looking for you to have sex with you and take advantage of you. I didn't know what happened to you after that."

I leaned against the wall and shrugged. "We went home and I moved on." I looked down.

He sighed. "So then why did he send you five hundred dollars randomly two months later?" There it was, the truth, and I could feel the pain in my stomach returning.

"Please don't say anything to Harry or his sister." He sighed but agreed with a nod,  looking at me before turning to walk back to the group.

It was two months after having sex with Joshua when I had realized that my period was late and my gross school lunch was not the reason for me getting sick. I shook in my sleep at the thought of what home my mom would send me to have a baby at seventeen years old.

I had called Joshua and threatened to tell his wife if he didn't send money to get rid of the baby growing inside of me.

I regretted it every day.

I felt tears begin to fall down my cheek and quickly went into Oliver's room and sat on the chair. I loved kids, I grew up practically raising Victoria myself and wanted nothing more than to have kids of my own one day, but the words of my mom growing up scarred me for life.

A woman having a baby out of wedlock is bad, but to abort a poor innocent child is worse.

A whore and a murderer.

My past was catching up to me, and it made me fear the future.

What if the woman was raped?

My mom would just shake her head.

She shouldn't have been in that situation.

A woman who has an abortion will be punished by god later on in life and not be able to have children.

No man will want a woman who's been penetrated and had a child grow in them by another man.

Every man after Joshua felt wrong, that is until Harry. But what if I told him and he looked at me differently. We hadn't had that kind of discussion of our opinions on this type of subject. I took a deep breath and knew now was not the time to discuss this.

Perhaps after Christmas.

*

The rest of the night we had dinner and I did what I did best at church events, I faked my smile and acted like I knew what everyone was talking about.

By the time everyone went to bed, Oliver was wide awake so Harry was trying to tire him out.  I sat beside him and watched as he kissed his tummy while Oliver pulled on his hair giggling. "Ouch Ollie, no hurt dada." he pulled him off and talked to him carefully. "We don't hurt people."

He just stared and actually reached for me. I picked him up and hugged him. "He might fall asleep." I sang making Harry get up to get his pacifier. Of course, he didn't want to fall asleep so we laid him on our inflatable mattress and gave him a toy to entertain him. I looked at Harry as he smiled watching Oliver. "Baby?" he hummed. "Would you ever want more kids?"

"Yeah in the future maybe five years or so." he shrugged. "What about you?" I looked down.

"Yeah, I want one as cute as this one." I pinched Oliver's cheek. "I really want to tell you something but it's something more serious, I really don't want to tell you but I think I have too." he turned to face me and held my hands.

"Hey if you don't want to tell me you don't have to but I'm sure it won't be terrible, did you kill someone?" he joked but I couldn't laugh, because technically I did. His smile dropped and he gave me an odd look. "Marlene?"

I was going to speak when suddenly Oliver began crying at the top of his lungs. "Oh no, what happened." he had a small red mark on his forehead so I assumed he smacked himself with the little toy we gave him. I picked him up and he snuggled into my chest, rubbing his eyes.

"You wanted cuddles from mu- um Marlene." he quickly corrected himself and I felt my cheeks heat up at the thought of him about to call me his mom. I held Oliver and as I looked up to the mirrors of his closet door I saw myself holding him. The way he snuggled into me as if he was my own made my heart swell. He stopped crying and fell asleep on me. "You wanted to tell me something?"

I looked up at him and shook my head. "Another time." he nodded.

I'll tell him eventually.

*

After Harry's family left and New Year's Eve passed, we went back to our regular schedule. I had begun to feel so much guilt for still not telling Harry. He told me so much and I always held back a bit. By the middle of January, Oliver was a very happy jumping baby. Every time he'd see Harry he would practically jump in his arms.

Of course, that just meant he would push himself around his play mat or his crib.

We were having dinner one night as the rain poured down outside. Harry and I both loved the rain but only to a certain amount. "I need to find a table for that corner over there, it looks so empty- oh but then Ollie will learn to crawl and that's his play area." I looked back at Harry who was on his phone. "Hey mister boss man, whatever it is can wait for after dinner." he blushed putting his phone down on the counter and sitting back beside me.

"Sorry princess, just something that needed my attention." I reached over and pinched his cheek gently. "You know what this house does need." I raised an eyebrow. "Some baked goods." he pouted.

"Oh really are you gonna make some?" he squinted his eyes playfully pinching my side, making me giggle. "What do you want then?"

"Mmm?" he tapped his chin with his finger before standing to pick up the dishes. "Muffins, blueberry." I saluted him, bending down to pick up Ollie from the little swing he was on.

"Well I'll go shopping tomorrow while you stay with Ollie." he made a face. "Oh, tomorrow you're going with Mitch for his fitting right?" Mitch and Harry still talked all the time and recently he called Harry and told him he needed a job and that if he knew of anyone that needed an assistant, something Mitch apparently did for almost five years off and on. So Harry told him to get a nice blazer and new shoes because on Monday he would get him an interview with my uncle, who was in the looks for a new one.

"It's fine I'll take him with," he told me as he washed the dishes.

"Or I can take him with me, I don't mind." Harry smiled big.

"Well alright then, sounds like a plan." he walked over and kissed my cheek.

*

The next day after Harry left for the day in my car, I woke up and got Oliver dressed. "Your daddy hates when I dress you up like you're hosting the met gala, but I want you to look so handsome and make all the other parents wish their baby looked like you." he giggled at my baby voice. I put him in his car seat and walked out to the car to leave.

At the grocery store in town, I sat him in the little seat cover for shopping carts and put a pillow to support him. We walked into the store and I began doing my shopping like normal, looking at the coupons on my phone. "Ollie do you think daddy would like raisin cookies, I don't see why people get upset over them?" Of course, he didn't respond but I heard someone chuckle behind me. I turned and sighed.

"Well well well, I see we're playing mommy now?" Shane shook his head.

I rolled my eyes beginning to walk away but he followed beside me. "Can you not?"

He smiled at Ollie. "Oh come on what's the little guy's name?" Oliver gave him a look like 'get away from me sir.'

"His name is Oliver, and I am two seconds away from pulling my stun gun on you." he backed up two feet. "Why can't you be like a normal ex and just awkwardly look at me from a distance and then avoid me at all costs?"

"Because I still have feelings for you, and I think what you're doing by being with Harry is bad for you as a twenty-four-year-old woman. I mean raising a baby that's not your baby, Marlene you're going to end up one of two ways. Either Harry is going to break up with you, or you break up with him, and you'll never see that kid again." I began opening my bag looking around. "Or the kid's mom will come back and take him away." I stopped rummaging.

I could feel tears filling my eyes. I looked at him and he sighed, obviously Shane had no idea about Emily's drug use but then I remembered what his dad is, a lawyer. Specifically, a family lawyer that takes on tough cases with child custody, adoptions, stuff like that. He once told me that most of the judge's take the mother's side especially when there's money involved."Stay away from me or I'll go to the police." I started walking away.

I needed to have a chat with Harry.

*

My intentions were to speak to Harry, I was going to take a nice hot shower and come out to speak to him. I was going to tell him how I felt and about what Shane had said to me. I mean we lived together and I loved him so much it hurt sometimes, but would we ever get married? I mean he lived with Emily for almost six years and they were never engaged. What if he had commitment issues?

I mentally made a list of what I was going to say to him as I dried my body and moisturized. I put on a pair of panties and an oversized band t-shirt from Harry's closet and walked into our bedroom.

Harry stood there in his sleeping shorts, ready for bed since he already showered. "Baby's asleep, and the house is locked up for the night."

I smiled. "Already, it's only ten?" he gave me a crooked smile and sat at the edge of the bed.

"Come here, come give me some kisses." I walked over and placed my hands on his shoulders. "I need to feel you wrapped around my cock." he lifted up my shirt to my stomach and began kissing around my belly button.

And just like that my whole list went out the window and I felt my panties start to dampen.

The shirt came off and his hands went down my back to my ass where he squeezed the soft flesh before giving me a nice spank. "Wait I wanted to talk." he pulled me forward and had me sit on his lap to suck on my nipple.

"Then talk," he said as he took me in his mouth to gently suck on the nub.

"It's not necessarily the right- oh- uh conversation for what you're doing." be hummed moving to the other side to suck on it as well. "Harry." I moaned putting my hands in his hair. "I really-"

"Fuck what is it?" he pulled away a bit rudely. He scratched his neck in annoyance and had me continue. I had never seen him like this. "Well?" I stood up and grabbed my shirt.

"Never mind," I said a bit annoyed. "Forget it." I went and lied down on the bed with my arms crossed. He sighed standing up to come to lay down beside me.

"I'm sorry, I've just been hard for a while." he shook his head. "Come on tell me please." he pouted.

I gave in and sighed. "I saw Shane today." his eyes squinted. "And he said something that made me think, do you have commitment issues? Because you were with her for so long and nothing?" he shook his head. "Do you want to get married?"

"Are you proposing?" I shook my head. "Well yeah I've always wanted to get married, hadn't found the one yet." he shrugged. "Do you want to marry me?" I looked down shyly nodding. "Okay, and you want kids?" I played with my hands but nodded. "What is it?"

"When I was a kid my mom used to say stuff to me about how a woman who would get pregnant and then have abortions wouldn't be able to have kids later on in life because God punished them." he blinked, confused. "Harry when I had sex with Josh I got pregnant." he sat up. "I left New York and I found out, but I was too young to have a baby, so I called him and he paid for me to end it." I sniffled. "And now I'm afraid that that's the reason I had such bad luck with guys because God is punishing me for ending a marriage and getting an abortion." I began to sob.

"Marlene, princess look at me." he wiped the tears from my eyes. "I love you, literally besides Oliver, I will never love someone more. Who you are now is not the same as who you were then. You were sheltered and probably half brainwashed by your mother and her church, and you liked a guy that maybe you shouldn't have but that's life. We make mistakes and we learn from them."

"You don't think I'm gross or a terrible person?" he shook his head. "Why do you love me?"

He sighed smiling. "Because you are yourself and don't pretend to be someone you're not around me. You are strong and independent, hard-working, smart as hell. I know you aren't his mother but you're the best at loving Ollie." I smiled. "You're not flawed because of a few issues in the past and I would never judge you for them. You need to get that through your head that I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you did, as long as you love-"

"Are you quoting the backstreet boys." he chuckled making me laugh.

He nodded. "I love you." he leaned forward and pressed a few kisses to my face. "You love me and my flaws?" I nodded kissing him a few times. "Gonna let me make love to you?"

"Mhmm, I've wanted you all day." he crawled above me and kissed me gently, almost as if to show me how much he loved me.

And I knew how much he did.

*

Thank you for reading. Xx

-k