"You look happier"

I think that's the biggest compliment I have ever received from my parents. Hindi sila magtatagal dahil mayamaya ay kailangan na naman nilang umalis. I actually planned to bring Cal along but then I could not just do so. Baka mas lalo silang magulat na ang delivery boy na nakausap nila noon ay boyfriend ko pala.

"Thanks, mom, kaka-video call lang kasi namin ni kuya, eh. Ilang araw na siyang hindi ako kinakausap kasi busy sa study." I really didn't prepare to tell them the truth. Wala sa plano ang umamin. Pero ngayong kaharap ko sila, naisip ko ang mga pangyayari kahapon sa bahay ni Cal.

Cal deserves to be known by my parents. I should reciprocate his dedication in introducing me to his parents.

"Oh, what are you thinking of? Ubos na ba ang allowance mo?" dad asked.

"Hindi pa po. It will surely last for another one month."

But I wonder what could happen if I ask them related to relationship. Nang sa ganoon ay hindi sila mabigla...

"What are your friends doing, anyway? Sila Johoney, Allysa, and Pearly?"

"Ganoon pa rin naman, ma. Mas napapadalas lang talaga sila sa pagbisita sa bahay nila kaya parati akong mag-isa sa apartment."

Pero if makiusap ako nang todo, at ipaintindi sa kanila ang nangyayari, maiintindihan kaya nila ako? Cal's parents want someone for their son, pero nagawa nila ako pakisamahan... Can my parents be like that toward my boyfriend?

"Mom, I have something to tell you. I hope... You won't misunderstand."

"What is that?" dad asked me as he searched something from his bag.

Kaiinom ko pa lang ng dalawang basong tubig pero pakiramdam ko ay tuyong-tuyo na ang lalamunan ko. I felt my knees shaking. Napansin 'ata 'yon ng mga magulang ko kaya natigil sila sa ginagawa. Dad began staring at me and mom stopped messaging her temple. They look tired from working all day. Tama ba 'tong gagawin ko? Hindi ba bad ang timing? Maybe... I could postpone it?

Pero nandito na ako. At baka ilang araw na naman kaming hindi magkita nila mama't papa. Plus, I am eager to announce to Cal that my parents already know him as my partner... That they want him... That he doesn't need to worry anymore! How I really wish!

"You've been reminding me, Mom... D-dad, that I am not allowed to enter in a relationship... S-so that I could focus in my studies."

They gazed at me as if I am the only subject in this world. Natatakot akong masigawan nila. Matatanggap ko pa kung makatatanggap ako ng pangmamaliit sa iba, pero kapag galing sa parents ko, hindi ko siguro kakayanin.

"I promised, mom, dad, that I would take care of my academics life, and I did. I managed to maintain a good grades. Nabawi ko ang mga quizzes kung saan maliit ang scores ko."

Hindi pa rin talaga sila nagsasalita. Wala ring kung anumang reaction galing sa kanila. That is a sign for me to continue and do my best to elaborate things.

"Sinubukan ko po na hindi pairalin ang emosyon so that I would not be a big disappointment sa family na 'to dahil noon pa lang, paulit-ulit niyong sinasabi sa 'kin na bawal akong magka... Boyfriend."

I know that they know what exactly I am saying. They're just giving me time to explain.

"Sa ibang lalaki na nakilala ko noon na medyo nagustuhan ko... Hindi ko na lang sila pinansin... Inisip ko na lang na siguro sa pagsapit ng tamang panahon, there will be an ideal time to date them. Inisip ko na I should not decide emotionally for now. N-na I should not be catching feelings. The idea of "what's meant for you will always come back to you" is what I strongly believe in, kaya hindi na ako nag-aksaya pa ng oras na mang-entertain dahil kung sila talaga para sa akin, babalik-babalik sila sa tamang panahon."

My chest started to feel heavy. And right now, I wished Cal was here, so that there's a warm hand I could rely on to... So that I could explain better. And then it hits me that I am emotionally attached to Cal. I crave for his presence anytime and whenever... Kahit sa ganitong sitwasyon na kausap ko ang mga parents ko.

"Thank you for explaning yourself, dear," mom responded, walang bahid ng galit ang mukha. But that doesn't make me feel me good, dahil hindi rin siya mukhang natutuwa. "I am not disappointed sa 'yo pero sa ginawa mo. I am sorry but I can't accept it-- your reasons, anything."

"M-mom..." naluluha kong sambit. I can't even recognize my own voice. "Dad..." I then turned to him, hoping he is on my side, na naiintindihan niya ako, na siya na ang bahalang magpapaintindi kay mama.

"You are too young to be exposed in a serious relationship, Chelsy," dad. At napasandal ako sa sofa for support. "You are too young for this. Hindi mo alam kung ano pa ang magiging epekto niyan sa 'yo. I am not worrying only in your academic journey, but also in your personal growth. That love... Might be a big hindrance."

"N-no..." Pinagsiklop ko ang mga daliri saka nagsusumamong tumingin sa kanila. And now they look worried. Maybe... They can't believe that their youngest child is begging, that their only daughter is doing anything she could to please her parents. "This love, dad, is not an hindrance... It's a complete opposite to that. It's very inspiring, I swear... Just give us a chance to prove ourselves!"

"One day, you will eventually thank us for opposing this decision of yours. Balang araw mapagtatanto mo na para lang din sa 'yo ang lahat ng 'to. This is not for us. This is for you."

Sunod-sunod ang naging pag-iling ko. Bakit hindi nila ako magawang intindihin? All of my life, I have been listening, understanding, and following their reminders. Lahat sinunod ko dahil alam ko 'yon ang mas makapagsasaya sa kanila. Pero bakit ngayon kung kailan mas gusto ko lang naman maintindihan ay 'di man lang nila magawa?

Walang imik akong umakyat sa kwarto at wala silang nagawa kundi tawagin na lamang ang pangalan ko.

My tears were already filling my cheeks as I called Cal in messenger. Mabuti na lamang at online siya.

"Darling..." his cold yet passionate voice uttered. I don't know what to say anymore. Hindi ko ma-imagine kung ano magiging reaction niya. I don't want him to get sad about my parents reaction. Ayaw ko rin naman na ilihim sa kaniya ang totoo.

"S-sorry, I just missed you," pagsasabi ko sa totoo. And I am sorry because I failed to be as strong as you. I was unable to make my parents understand our relationship.

"I missed you more, Chelsy, where are you? What were you doing? And what's with that shaking voice, are you crying?"

Suminghot ako at huminga nang malalim. "Nasa bahay ako... Mom texted me earlier na wala silang duty kaya umuwi na rin ako..."

"And then? Did something happen?"

"Y-yup." Napatitig ako sa ceiling at parang batang kinagat ang sariling hintuturo. "The thing is... I tried to... I tried to.."

"Okay, you can tell me anything what happen after you calm down. Breathe deeply."

Mas lalo akong naiiyak sa sinabi niya at maging sa boses niya. Darling, my parents don't want us together... Akala ko'y ang mga parents mo ang mas tututol sa relasyon natin pero nagkakamali pala ako.

"Say my name when you feel slightly good," he instructed gently, like he's afraid to mention a wrong word.

It tooks me a minute before I could respond.

"Cal..."

"Hmm, what happened? Nagkasagutan kayo ng parents mo? Another family problem?"

"I... Tried to explain, pero hindi pa rin nila ako maintindihan... I just wanted them to... Respect our relationship... Cal, I tried my best but they didn't buy my reasons. Ginawa ko lahat para magustuhan ka nila. You don't deserve this, Cal, pasensya na talaga—"

"Why are you feeling sorry? No, you shouldn't."

"I just tried. You managed to make your parents respect us. While there's me—"

"You tried, and that's more than enough."

Naluluha akong nagtaka. "Bakit pakiramdam ko parang natutuwa ka pa? Are you even smiling?"

"I am!" energetic niyang sabi.

"And why is that! Nakaiinis ka! You should hate me! You should be normally sad!"

"Honestly, Chelsy, I am so glad. I feel satisfied, fulfilled, and... Loved."

Natahimik ako sa narinig. "Weird mo..."

He chuckled. "It is more than enough that you fought for us. If your parents accepted our relationship, it would be just a bonus."

"Cal..."

"Don't worry. A part of me feel sad, yes. Sino ba naman ang hindi malulungkot kapag hindi ka gusto ng parents ng girlfriend mo, 'di ba? But the way you defended our relationship, and the way you cried... I could not ask for more, darling."

"H-hindi ka nila gusto... T-they might force me to break up with you... B-baka bantaan nila ako or w-what... Maybe, they will also try to convince you to l-let go of me—"

Bumuntong-hininga siya. "You did your part, let me do mine for now. I will do my best to prove my love for you."

"H-hindi ka nga nila gusto, eh!"

"Let's try to think positively. Kung hindi nila ako gusto, then what can I do to change their perception? And if hindi pa rin nila ako magugustuhan after trying, then I will try again and again."

Unfortunately, I drifted off into sleep. Natulugan ko siya. 3 AM nang magising ako. Plano ko pa sanang i-charge ang cellphone nang mapansin na ongoing pa rin ang call namin ni Cal. Tahimik na sa kabilang linya, and then his recent message touched my heart.

Cal: It is good that you fell asleep. You deserve rest, my darling. Please, sleepwell. I won't end this call. I want to hear your breaths until I fall asleep. Until the next sunrise, Chelsy.

Naiiyak akong bumalik sa tulog. And now, it is not anymore because of worries.

Until the next sunrise, my man.

"Kaaalis lang po nila mama?" tanong ko sa isang kasambahay nang makasalubong siya sa sala.

"Oo, e'. Nagmamadali kaya hindi ka nila nasabayan mag-almusal."

I went to school and did my usual routine. Hindi ko hinayaan na maapektuhan ng naging conversation namin nila mama't papa ang performance ko sa klase. At saka, mas kampante na ako ngayon sa pagkakaalam na mas lumalaban si Cal para sa relasyon namin. Diyan pa lang, panalong-panalo na ako.

Hinanap ko naman si Cal nang mag-recess sa canteen. A group of girls is talking to him at mukhang maraming gustong itanong sa boyfriend ko. I smiled, can't believe that he is really mine.

"Darling..." aniya nang mapansin at makalapit sa akin. "Those girls keep questioning me about us."

"And ano ang sabi mo?" ako, kunware nagsusungit.

"I told them we're about to get married."

"What?!" Pinanlakihan ko siya ng mata habang ginagabayan niya ako sa pag-upo.

"Yes. 'Yong isang babae na naka-bangs. She's my ex. Though, during high school days pa lang naman 'yon. I am just informing you so that you will know more about me. But if it's making you comfortable, I will refrain talking about it."

"No, actually, I like it when you explain even though I didn't tell you so. Nakaiirita siya isipin na ang dami mong ex sa campus na 'to pero magkuwento ka lang, I appreciate it."

"Bakit, ikaw wala kang ex sa school na 'to?" pang-aasar niya naman. Well, effective, uminit ang dugo ko.

"Hindi ako kagaya mo, 'no." Nagkibit balikat ko at nag-isip na lang ng kakainin, until I noticed the foods in our table. Cal already ordered for us.

"Noon lang 'yon, 'no! I have changed!" ani niya sa nang-aasar na tinig. "But I doubt wala nag-plano na ligawan ka. May nagpakita ba ng motibo? Eh, papaano si Kurt! 'Di ba may something na sa inyo before?"

"Ha?" naloloka kong tanong. He looked cute, yes but Cal... Is amazingly cute and handsome.

"Nothing." Natawa siya lalo. "Nasaan pala sila Johoney? Sana sinama mo na lang sila... I can order more foods."

"Nasa kabilang canteen sila, e'. Magpapasama sana ako kaso baka makaabala lang daw."

Pinagmasdan ko nang mabuti ang boyfriend ko. He's not showing any signs that he is sad because of what I informed hours ago. He even looks happier than ever.

But maybe, it's really true that men are good at hiding sad emotions. Cal is trying best to be positive so that he could influence me...

"What are your plans... Cal?"

"About kagabi? I plan to visit you in your house. Only if nasa bahay rin ang mga parents mo."

"You will talk to them?"

"Yes, first step."

Napasimangot ako.

"Okay lang ba kung magpapatulong ako? Can you inform if complete kayo ng parents mo?"

Tumango-tango naman ako. "I will gladly help..."

The class was already done when I was all alone in our apartment. May kaniya-kaniyang lakad silang lahat maliban sa akin. Si Pearly naman ay nakikipag-date at balita ko'y pinakilala na niya ang lalaki sa kaniyang parents.

I can't help but to compare our situation. Ang sarap siguro sa pakiramdam na habang courting stage pa lang ay tanggap na ng parents ang nanliligaw. At bumalik na naman nga ang awa ko kay Cal. Only if napunta siya sa babaeng kaya siyang tanggapin ng parents nito.

"Kuya!" Inayos ko ang headphone saka tumitig sa screen.

Kuya Rynierre is wearing a white glove while looking around. Nang marinig ang boses ko ay tumigil na siya sa ginagawa.

"I have missed you, kuya! Sayang, I have something to tell you pa naman sana kaso abala ka 'ata. I am sorry if I called without asking for your permission. Nakakamiss ka lang talaga!"

Nakita ko ang marahan niyang pag-upo. Hindi ko rin maiwasan na 'di siya pagmasdan. He looked tired, physically.

"I have missed you, too, Chelsy. It's okay... You can call me anytime. Kumain ka na? Kumusta ang pag-aaral?"

"Done eating!" I planned to tell to him what happened last night. Naikwento ko na rin kasi sa isa kong kuya ang lahat through messaging him. Na-seen na ng lalaki kaso 'di pa nag-rereply. Tho naiintindihan ko naman ang pagbagal ng reply niya.

"Ano nga pa lang sasabihin mo? Do you have a problem? Tell me."

"Kuya, I have already a boyfriend."

"What?" Nanlaki na ang mga mata niya. "For real?"

I chuckled a little. "Yes! Nagpaligaw ako, of course! Hindi easy to get ang kapatid mo, 'no!"

"Wait, wait." He sounded hesitant. "Who is that guy? Kilala ko? How about Adrian? Kilala ba niya? Is that guy trustworthy? Ilang araw mo nang kilala 'yan? And our parents... Alam na ba nila? Or you two were just dating secretly..."

"He's Cal Ramirez, kuya. I am not sure if you know him, or if you are familiar sa kanilang family name. And yes, kilala na siya ni Adrian. Pero hindi pa ako nakatatanggap ng reaction from him since napakabusy niya ngayon. I secretly dated Cal, kuya. But I tried to explain to mom and dad my decision, however..."

"However?"

"Tutol sila, kuya."

Nagtitigan lang kami sa screen hanggang sa siya ang unang nagsalita.

"I don't want to stop you from doing what you like, Chelsy, aside from you are old enough to decide on your own, natatakot ako baka mas lalong lumayo ang loob mo sa parents natin."

"How I wish... Mom and dad could think like that..."

Para kaming hindi nagkausap nang ilang taon sa dami kong sinabi. Todo pakikinig naman siya. I assured him na alam ko ang limitations ko bilang girlfriend.

He even warned me about getting pregnant at an early age, and of course that will never happen! Sigurado rin naman akong kayang maghintay ni Cal, hanggang sa nasa tamang edad na kami... Ehe.

"Date successful! Hulaan mo kung saan ako dinala ni Ivan!" Kapapasok lang ni Pearly sa kwarto ko. I dropped my gadgets to face her.

"Sa kwarto niya?" hula ko.

"Gaga, 'di ah! Bakit iyan kaagad ang pumasok sa isip mo?" Inirapan niya ako saka tumalon-talon, kinikilig. "Dinala niya lang naman ako sa pinakapaborito kong restaurant. He paid all our bills at binilhan pa ako ng malaking teddy bear. Nasa kwarto ko!"

Napakamot ako sa sariling ulo. Akala ko sa kwarto ng lalaki siya dinala. Kasalanan 'to ni Kuya at sa topic namin kanina, e'.

"Eh, ikaw? Kumusta na kayo ni Cal? Wala ka nang masyadong shini-share, ah?"

I just believed that hindi lahat ng problema namin ni Cal ay kailangan ko pang ibahagi sa mga kaibigan ko, hindi dahil sa i-ju-judge nila ako kundi dahil sa nakahihiya nang dumagdag sa mga problema ng kaibigan ko. At saka, Cal and I should learn how to handle our relationship problems on our own.

"Eh, 'yong patungkol kay Amethyst? Ano ang sinabi ni Cal sa 'yo about diyan?"

"They formally said goodbye to each other. At saka, they are an ex to each other for a reason. No need for Cal to be super affective sa pag-alis ng babae na 'yon."

"Eh, bakit ka nagseselos?" she teased.

"Ako? Magseselos? Hindi, ah. Never."

Umalis din si Pearly matapos ikwento ang mga nangyari sa date nila ni Ivan. Actually, hindi ko lubusang kilala ang Ivan na 'yon. Basta ay schoolmate namin 'yon at Grade 11 under the STEM strand.

At since napag-usapan namin ni Pearly ang tungkol kay Amethyst, nagkaroon ako ng lakas para i-stalk siya.

She has 3 recent posts. One is her solo pictures. Naka-school uniform siya at kunware'y nakikipag-usap sa mga kaibigan. The second is a motivational post. And the third is a screenshot of her and Cal having a video call.

Nabitawan ko ang cellphone sa gulat.