"Ihahatid kita sa apartment niyo."

He was still carrying my bag as we continued walking. Katabi ko lang siya pero parang ang layo pa rin ng pagitan namin. Hindi ko alam kung guni-guni ko lang ba 'to o sadyang tunay lang talaga siyang malungkot.

I actually thought that he would invite me for a date. Kahit sa plaza lang kung saan maraming streetfood na paninda. I would like to share my thoughts pero 'yon ay sinarili ko na lang.

Wala rin naman 'ata siyang energy para maging romantic ngayong hapon. His heart must be still disappointed.

"You are not responding. What's wrong?" he asked gently.

"Ha?" me knowing I just spaced out. "I am sorry. May iniisip lang."

"Hmm?"

"About," I hesitated. "Uhm, about Amethyst. What's your uhh . . . Thoughts about her leaving this country? Wala ba siyang, uh, sinabi sa 'yo? Gusto mo bang samahan siya—?"

"Darling." Tumigil siya sa paglalakad at humarap sa 'kin. Kailangan niya pang yumuko para magka-lebel ang mga ulo namin. "Don't overthink about it, all right? She already informed me about it a few days ago. I don't like her anymore, so there's no need to overthink—"

"What if you still do, that you still like her?"

"I have my heart. I know what it desires," was his reply. "And, as corny as it may sound, it's you. Hindi ko gusto na saktan mo ang sarili mo sa pag-iisip sa mga bagay na 'di totoo, okay?"

"Then, tell me about your past," tunog desperada na ako. "Tell me about it and make me understand. I want to know you more. 'Yong relasyon niyo ni Amethyst, how it started, and how it ended!"

He pursed his lips at pinagdikit ang mga noo namin. He's breathing heavily like he doesn't want to see me being like this. Tila ang dami niyang gustong sabihin pero 'di lang matanto kung papaano.

"It will hurt me but it is fine," I assured him. "I don't care if we are not in a private place, gusto kong malaman lahat, ngayon, Cal."

"Darling." He awkwardly held mg hand tightly. "If that's what my darling wants, okay . . ." There's a vacant chair steps away from us at hinila ako ni Cal patungo roon. Hinawi niya ang buhok ko saka naghanda ng sasabihin.

"We are arranged by our parents."

"Alam ko . . ."

He exhaled. "Of course, you are a stalker—" Sumeryoso siya nang sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. "I started to like her because my parents could not stop to remind me about my supposed to be future with Amethyst. Ang dami kong nagustuhan before pero mas lumamang si Amethyst dahil sa parents namin."

Ito naman talaga ang gusto ko, 'di ba? Halos magmakaawa na ako magkuwento lang siya. Alam kong masasaktan ako pero 'di ko akalain na ganito pala kasakit. To know that he once liked someone a lot. To know his parents wanted someone for him. To know that once upon a time Cal was serious in a relationship. It hurts. A lot, really.

Sabi ng puso ko'y patigilin na siya sa pagsasalita at kalimutan lahat ng narinig, pero salungat no'n ang gusto ng isip ko. I wanted to be practical even if it means hurting my being.

"Plus the fact na nakuha niya ang loob ni Caliver. Hindi mabilis magtiwala ang kapatid ko sa mga tao, kaya kapag may nagustuhan siya, sobrang saya ko na."

"Caliver likes Amethyst a lot. He must praying for you to end up with her."

He stared at me. "He did. I won't lie. Gusto niya ngang isama si Amethyst kapag nag-abroad na kami para mas bumilis ang kaniyang paggaling."

"You should make his wish come true." Lasang-lasa ko ang pait sa sariling boses. "He needs it for his recovery. I will support—"

"What are you saying? I will never do that. There's a way to help him without risking my woman's feelings."

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin saka mas lalong napaisip. Sigurado akong gagawa ang parents niya ng paraan para magkatuluyan sila ni Amethyst. They will never like me.

"Your parents," bulong ko.

"When Amethyst and I broke up, I explained my part to my parents. Hindi sila sang-ayon sa nangyari but they don't have a choice, lalo na ngayong kasali ka na sa bawat desisyon ko sa buhay."

"Disobeying them is not good at all."

"And hurting you is illegal. Chelsy, the moment I decided to court you was the moment that my decision's final in putting your feelings over anyone and anything else."

"How could," usal ko, naluluha na. Ang sarap kurutin ng sarili sa pagiging iyakin. I admit it, I was moved by his words. Paulit-ulit na naglalaro sa aking isipan. "How could you assure me like that?"

It felt like I don't deserve it. His love, his genuineness. Everything.

"Maybe because I am cool?" He winked at me, then I laughed at his facial expression. "It's just that I am aware how bad my image to you back then. Alam kong kinamuhian ako. Maybe you even wished me gone. Alam kong ako ang pinakalokong tao sa mundo, babaero. Name it. That's why I want to become the person who deserves you."

Parang pinalibutan ako ng mga ulap dahil sa narinig. Busog na busog ako sa assurance galing sa kaniya at kung ikukuwento ko 'to kay Chelsy na 'di pa kilalang lubos ang isang Cal Ramirez ay tiyak magugulat siya.

"And about our breakup. It was a mutual one. She cheated once and I didn't give her any chances anymore. She wanted me back but it was too late. Maybe that triggered me to play girls. To play with their feelings."

"Cal..." Hinawakan ko nang mahigpit ang kamay niya.

"Ginawa ko ang mga bagay na alam kong mali at hinanap 'yong rason kung bakit may mga taong ayaw makuntento sa isa." Humalakhak siya. "I was curious what it feels like to be a cheater."

"That's your major red flag," pangangaral ko.

"I know, darling. It might've made me temporarily happy, but I was never satisfied."

Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya at 'di kumibo.

"I respect her decision, by the way. But I am worried to my brother. He just heard the news and I could not imagine how hurt he is because of it. Siguradong marami 'yong itatanong sa 'kin."

"Just be honest to him..."

"Hmm." Tumango siya saka tumayo. "Gusto mo bang bisitahin si Caliver?"

"Maybe I can help, at least? Baka ma distract ko siya."

Tumawa siya sa narinig. "No, I don't like that. I love my brother, pero 'di ko naman hihilingin na maging personal therapist ka niya. Gusto kong bisitahin mo siya dahil talagang gusto mo."

Matapos kong tumayo ay tumalikod siya para makahakbang na papunta sa kanila. While starting at his back, I started wondering what will happen next if the two of us become official. Kagaya nga ng sinabi ko, he has a chance. At malaking-malaki 'yon.

Knowing his past fed my curiosity, and at the same time tore my heart. Tore my heart in a way that it made me realize things. He's not as bad as what as everyone thinks.

Tanggap ko ang mga rason niya kung bakit siya naging tao na minsan kong sinungitan at kinamuhian.

Someone ruined his heart while his intentions were pure. And it's a big deal. It will always be.

Wala na akong interes pa malaman kung sa kung papaano, kung kanino, nag-cheat si Amethyst, basta ang alam ko ay kahit ganoon ang ginawa ng babae sa kaniya, 'di ko siya kailanman narinig si Cal na siniraan ang babae.

"Cal," I called him, "let's make it official."

I was biting my lips all the time. Hindi ako sure if narinig niya ba ang sinabi ko kasi parang naging bulong lang 'yon, plus ang ingay pa ng paligid. But when he stopped and stiffened for a moment, my heart took a leap.

Humarap siya sa 'kin habang nakaawang ang mga labi. They are muttering inaudible words until he finally shouted, "really?!"

Tumango-tango naman ako saka niya hinawakan ang magkabilang pisngi ko. Alam ko na kabado ako, pero napansin ko na mas kabado at masaya siya noong makita ang patak ng luha galing sa mata niya.

Cal is crying.

My darling is crying.

"You what?" Gulat pa rin ako.

Tumingala siya para siguro matuyo ang luha, without expecting na mas lalo pa pala siyang luluha.

"You really know how to kill me, huh?" aniya saka niyakap ako.

I hated attention from people I don't know. Hindi ko kailanman ginusto na pagmasdan ng mga tao sa isang public place, pero ngayon kung kailan ang daming napapatingin sa 'min ay parang balewala ko na lang ang mga 'to. Ang mga titig nila, ang mga bulong nila sa kanilang kasama, at ang kung anumang opinyon nila sa 'min. Wala na akong pake.

"You not afraid anymore?" he huskily whispered. "They say I am the fire that will destroy you. What do you, uh, think about that?"

Matamis akong ngumiti at inamoy pa lalo ang likod ng leeg niya. Only if this man knows how obsessed I am to his scent. "I don't care. Destroy me as you please."

I am expecting a lonely Caliver when I reach their house, pero sa balcony pa lang ay tanaw-tanaw ko na ang bata na kumakaway sa 'kin. Parang natunaw ang puso ko sa nakita. Pero deep inside I know na affected pa rin ang bata. He's just good at hiding his pain.

"Ate!" Nagpabuhat kaagad siya sa 'kin.

"No, you're heavy!" pumagitna si Cal sa 'min.

Sinimangutan ko lang siya at kinarga si Caliver nang ilang segundo. Napatawa ko naman 'to kahit papaano.

"That's not good for my baby," ani ni Cal sa kapatid.

"Baby?!" His brother's eyes widened. Lalo na 'yong sa 'kin. "You will be having a . . . Baby?!"

"No, Caliver, that's not what he meant!"

"No, bro," patawa-tawang ani ni Cal. Ang sarap suntukin. "She's actually the baby."

Lumaki ang ngisi ng kapatid niya. Hinawakan nito ang kamay ko at sinama ako papunta sa living room. Kinabahan pa ako kasi baka nandito rin ang parents niya. I am not still yet ready to meet them as Cal's girlfriend.

"Am I dreaming? This feels surreal." Cal grabbed my waist, resulting me to sit in his lap. Napasigaw ako sa ginawa niya at pilit na kumawala pero masyadong malakas ang mga braso niya! Nanonood ang kapatid niya sa amin at malay ko kung ano na nasa isipan ng bata ngayon!

"Yong kapatid mo, nanonood," bulong ko.

"If this is a dream, I don't want to wake up anymore." Sinimot-simot niya ang leeg ko.

I never knew that Cal could be as touchy like this. This is the first time na naging ganito kami kalapit sa isa't isa. At inaamin kong ang hirap huminga sa ganitong posisyon. Lalo pa't hindi rin mapakali ang mga kamay niya! Kitang nasa harap lang ang kapatid niya!

"Super touchy mo naman," I sarcastically said.

"Why? Are you only comfortable doing this in a private place—?" Natigil lamang siya nang kinurot ko. "Kidding. Anong oras mo gustong umuwi? Pwede ring dito ka na lang matulog. I have a king-sized bed so—"

"No!"

Nagkasunduan sila ng kapatid niya sa pagitan ng pagtitinginan saka humalakhak.

"Your parents?"

"They're busy at work. Sila uncles and aunties din," Caliver answered. "Kuya . . . How about Ate Amethyst? Nagkausap ba kayo? Ano'ng sabi niya? Was it really true? Why isn't she answering my calls?"

Napawi ang mga ngiti sa aking labi. And everyone in the room surely noticed it.

"We have already talked about it, Caliver. I will tell her to communicate better with you. I can't just explain what she said."

Malungkot na tumango ang bata. Humigpit naman ang yakap ni Cal sa aking bewang. I want to tell Caliver that everything will be all right, kahit wala ako sa tamang estado para gawin 'yon.

"Let's play?" I asked him instead. Tumango naman 'to pero ang bigat sa dibdib ko ay ganoon pa rin. Binitawan lang ako ni Cal nang malaki na ang distansya namin.

He got busy in his phone, so I started playing with Caliver. I kept looking back at Cal because he seemed cautious while talking to someone from the other line. Samantalang si Caliver naman ay walang gana. Halata sa kaniyang mga mata na pinipilit niya lamabg labanan ang lungkot.

"He's asleep. Mailap na ba si Amethyst sa kaniya? Is she avoiding him?"

Cal looked straight to my eyes. Hinanap ko ang cellphone niya at nasa bulsa niya na pala 'to. Caliver and I were playing in front of him minutes ago while Cal's too serious with his phone. Kaya nagtataka ako kung sino ang kausap niya.

"Was it Amethyst? Did you tell her that your brother wanted them to bond?"

"It is Amethyst's mom."

I heard his gasp, like he's frustrated of something.

"Boto sila sa inyo, 'di ba?"

I was surprised when he rested his head in my chest. "I am falling hard, Chelsy."

It took me seconds to blink. Dama ko ang tibok ng puso niya. At nakahihiya dahil baka dama niya rin 'yong sa akin. It's not the respond I expected, but it . . . became my favorite thing.

"Sino ang sasalo sa 'yo?" I managed to joke.

"I want you to catch me."

I gasped silently and shook my head. "What happened? Ano'ng napag-usapan niyo? You can rest after this. You looked tired."

"Amethyst is sick. Her mother wants me to take care of her."

"She should have taken care of herself since malapit na yong biyahe niya, 'di ba? Pero ... If you're not totally sleepy, I suggest you—"

"Hmmm?" he sniffed my neck. Hindi ko na tuloy masabi ang karugtong.

"Should I what, darling?"

"You should ... Rest with me, Cal."

I felt him smiling, resulting my heart to beat faster. Kusang nagkaroon ng buhay ang mga kamay ko at tinulungan siyang mag-ayos ng pwesto para hindi mangalay. For the first time, I didn't worry if his relatives would arrive.

Hindi pa siya tuluyang tulog nang maisip ko ang kalagayan ni Amethyst. A side of me wanted to encourage Cal to take care of her. But the other side of me is selfish, selfish of Cal's time. Selfish of Cal's attention. Naisip ko, mas magandang ganito na lang, na magkatabi kabi. For the first time, gusto kong solohin ang isang tao. Gusto ko sa akin lang siya.

"I am still worried of her, honestly," I heard him. "But I am more worried of you. Your face says it all. And that's what matter to me. I don't care if I will look like a big red flag to other people, as long as I shield you, Chelsy."

He said those words slowly until he drifted off into sleep.

And then I realized that I am loved by my family, my close friends, and by Cal. It's unexpected that I can't feel any doubts about his loyalty. And I decided, I am more willing to fight with him against anything or anyone that question our affection towards each other. Kahit kila mama, willing na akong ipakilala siya. Pati sa mga kaibigan ko. I am not afraid anymore. A man like him deserves the whole world for giving me a beautiful one.

Ilang oras kami sa ganitong posisyon. Nakangangalay pero hindi ko masyadong naisip. Pagbaling ko ulit ng tingin sa kaniya ay gising na pala 'to.

"Hindi ka nakatulog?" he asked using his fresh voice.

I wanted to watch you sleep. "Hindi ako inaantok, e'."

Umayos siya ng upo saka pinagpagan ang hita ko. Tinitigan niya ulit ako at nagtaas ng kilay. "Is my darling already hungry?"

"You must be hungry for sleeping for hours," I stated.

"You must be hungry for staring at my handsome face for hours," he joked and laughed first until we could not manage to breathe normally.

"But I am handsome, aren't I?"

I bit my lips and shyly hugged him. "Especially in my eyes, Cal."

He ordered a snack for us. Just a one box of pizza plus soft drinks since 'yon lang ang unang naisip ko na i-recommend. Caliver is still sleeping kaya pero 'di na namin siya ginising nang kailangan ko nang magpahatid kay Cal. We just reminded his maid to look for him from time to time.

"This feels surreal," ani ni Cal nang nakapwesto na kami sa loob ng sasakyan. I knew immediately what he meant. Kahit ako rin kasi ay hindi makapaniwala.

"I can't believe that we will end up being together." Tumawa ako habang naiisip ang mga kalokohan namin noon. Lalo na 'yong first interaction naming dalawa sa corridor.

"Indeed, be careful with your handsome enemies," he joked back, making me smile a lot.

Bakit ang daming sinasabi ng mga tao sa paligid?
Kesyo 'di raw tayo bagay lumayo ka na

A familiar song popped up. Ngumuso naman si Cal sa akin na parang may gustong sabihin.

"I can relate to this song, so it became my favorite," he admitted shyly. Tila nagdadalawang isip pa siya kung babawiin ang sinabi o hindi.

"I like it as well."

My man smiled while focusing on the road.

Nang matanaw ang building ay una siyang lumabas para i-guide ako. Habang pinapanood siya ay parang nakalutang ako sa ere.

"I am happy, Cal," I said for him to feel appreciated. I wanted to acknowledge his gestures that are so ideal.

He pouted a little. "I am happier that you are happy."

I am smiling from ears to ears when I caught my friends from my peripheral version. Tuluyan ko silang tinanaw at nakita kung papaano nila kami pagmasdan ni Cal dalawa. Hindi ko matukoy kung gulat ba o ano.

Napalunok ako. Sa sobrang saya sa pakiramdam ay 'di ko namalayan na 'di lang pala kami ni Cal ang nasa mundo. Na hindi lang 'to patungkol sa amin. Na kailangan ko pa pa lang harapin ang reyalidad na may responsibilidad pa akong ipaintindi ang lahat sa mga kaibigan ko.