Chapter 17
Sarah was still a rat when she woke up the next morning. Max had his arm wrapped around her and was drooling from his mouth, which hung slightly ajar. Vance still snored noisily on the bed.
She wiggled free from Max's embrace and went into the bathroom to look at herself in the mirror. A rather ugly rat face stared back at her. She even appeared to have a chunk missing out of her ear. She debated the necessity of taking a shower and decided to skip it.
She wandered back into the bedroom and nudged Max with her toes. He sat up abruptly and blinked his eyes. "You can't prove anything officer! I didn't know she was underage!"
"Rise and shine," Sarah announced cheerfully.
"Huh?" Max looked around bleary-eyed. "Where am I? Who are you?"
"I'm Sarah, the girl you slept with last night."
"Good lord, I must have been drunker than a sailor on shore leave! I'm sorry, miss, but I'm married. I'm sure you're very nice and all, but I'm afraid we won't be able to see each other again."
"Relax, we didn't have sex. We just slept next to each other. Will you wake up, already? We need to get to work and find my uncle."
Slowly Max began to recollect where he was. "Oh yes, yes, of course! The investigation is still in full swing! I'm sorry. It just takes me a few minutes to get going in the morning."
"I guess I should wake Vance up," Sarah said as she gently shook him.
He opened one eye slowly and fixed it upon her. "Thou art yet a rat? Prithee, be gone from my sight. Thou mayest return when thou art sexy once more." He rolled over and resumed snoring.
"Well, that was rude," Sarah frowned.
"I'm telling you, that guy's a dick," Max said. "He only liked you before because you were hot. Let's just leave him. We don't need him anyway."
"You're wrong about Vance," Sarah protested. "He's the sweetest guy I know. It must be the stress of being in a strange world. He's not usually like this. But I agree, he probably just needs to rest more. Once he gets more settled in I'm sure he'll return to the wonderful sweet man we all know and love."
Max rolled his eyes. "Honey, I've met some delusional women in my day, but this truly boggles the mind. You seem reasonably intelligent in most matters, so what are you so hung up on this asshole for? Oh yeah, I forgot chicks always go for the assholes."
"Vance is not an asshole," Sarah glared at him. "You don't know him like I do. You're probably just jealous. Besides, you can be quite the jerk yourself sometimes."
"And you can be quite the bitch so I guess that makes us even, huh?"
"How dare you talk to me like that?" Sarah fumed.
"Hey, I'm just speaking the truth," Max shrugged. "I know most guys probably just tell you what they think you want to hear just because you're 'so gosh darn pretty.' Well, normally at any rate. Besides, I know how this all works. Whenever a man and a woman hate each other at first they inevitably fall in love. It's called sexual tension, baby. I guarantee you before this investigation is over you'll be shacking up with me. Preferably after you've returned to your normal form. No offense, but the rodent look just isn't doing it for me."
"And you have the nerve to call Vance an asshole?" Sarah gasped. "Listen to yourself. I don't know why I shouldn't fire you on the spot."
"Because you need me," Max said. "And because deep down you know I'm right. You want to hate my guts, but your intense attraction towards me is making you confused. You're doubting yourself. You still love that buffoon over there for some inexplicable reason, but your desire for me is eating you up inside. It's just a matter of time before you fall into my arms. But don't worry, I'm not in a rush. I can play it cool and bide my time. We both know what the ultimate outcome of this is going to be."
"I'll take that bet," Sarah said acidly. "I wouldn't fall in love with you if my life depended on it."
"You never know," Max said. "It just might."
"I'm sick of talking to you," Sarah said. "I'm going downstairs to get some breakfast. Then I'm going to meet Bobby and get him to take me to this cloud factory. If you want to continue working on this case you'd better be on your best behavior from here on out."
"Don't worry," Max said. "I don't need to say another word on this matter. In the meantime I'll pour my full focus into the case at hand like the true professional that I am! Now, would you mind spotting me a couple strands of floss so I could grab some food?"
Sarah shook her head and walked out the door wordlessly.
* * *
As she walked down the hallway she felt a tingling sensation all over her body again. She looked at her arms and saw that the coarse hair was receding away revealing smooth pink skin. She felt her tail sucking itself inward into her body and her face resumed its normal shape.
"Well that's a relief to feel like myself again," she thought. "I wonder how often that bothersome transformation is going to occur?"
She emerged in the lobby and paid her way into the breakfast buffet. Once again, the majority of the items looked quite unappetizing. "God, I'd kill for some chocolate," she said. "Don't you have any dessert items here?"
The kangaroo attendant, looking as bored as ever, shrugged his shoulders and turned his attention to a little ball and paddle game.
"Fine," she muttered and filled her plate up with the flower petals she had eaten the day before. She found a table in the corner and began munching on them silently.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw Max emerge from the elevator tube and walk over to the buffet line. He stood near the kangaroo attendant with a sheepish look on his face. Apparently he managed to scrounge up a couple of strands of floss because he was waved through. Either that or the attendant was so disinterested in his job that he wasn't enforcing the payment policy, which also seemed like a distinct possibility. After filling up a plate Max took a seat a few tables away from her and refused to make eye contact, which suited Sarah just fine.
On the other hand she couldn't help but notice a strange looking creature with a really big mouth full of sharp teeth sitting at another nearby table that couldn't seem to take his eyes off of her. She tried to ignore the stare as best she could but it was making her rather uncomfortable. Finally she decided to confront him. "Can I help you with something?" she asked as she returned his gaze defiantly.
"Perhaps," the creature said and ambled over confidently. "You look very familiar to me. Have we met before?"
"I don't think so," Sarah replied. "And if that's some sort of attempt at a pickup line you can just stop right now."
The creature let out a slight laugh and smiled grimly. "Don't worry, little girl. I have no interest in you that way. I was more curious as to whether you might know a certain Dr. Octavius."
Sarah shot him a cold look. "Who wants to know?"
"Allow me to introduce myself. I am Trevor Mastodon. And by your reaction, I take it that you're Octavius' niece."
A look of shock spread across Sarah's face but before she could say anything Max had leaped over from the other table and interjected himself into the conversation. "Oh my god! Could it be? Is it really you? Trevor Mastodon?"
Trevor Mastodon seemed to be somewhat taken aback by this interruption. "Yes I am. Who the hell are you?"
"It is you! Oh sweet merciful lord!" Max clutched his hands to his chest. "I am your biggest fan! You have no idea how long I've wanted to meet you in person! This is truly the best day of my life!"
"Really? You admire my work?"
"Yes! Oh god, a thousand times yes! Your whole self-righteous hypocritical power hungry agenda to ban tourists despite their essentialness to the local economy is simply brilliant! How does it feel to be the biggest most evil prick in the whole city?"
Trevor Mastodon frowned. "What did you say your name was?"
"Hey, no need to get testy. I meant that evil prick comment in the most complementary way possible. I think it's just great the way you're trying to destroy this town!"
"Are you being sarcastic with me, frog?" he bared his sharp teeth menacingly.
"No, not at all," Max gushed. "Don't be ridiculous! I was just hoping I could get your autograph and maybe sign up for the cause. And I'm a toad, by the way, not a frog. Speaking of which, what the hell are you supposed to be?"
"Look, can this wait?" Trevor Mastodon asked impatiently. "I have very important business to conduct with this young lady here."
"No this can NOT wait!" Max insisted. "Meeting you is a culmination of years of hopes, dreams, and fervent wishes for just a second to bask in your personal glory! Now that I have the chance to finally fulfill my prayers do you think I'm going to let you shrug me off that easily?"
"I'm glad I've had such a profound impact on you," Trevor Mastodon seemed a bit confused. "Really, it's not that hard to get in touch with me. I make frequent public appearances and if you really want to join my cause just ask around. Someone will recruit you if you express an interest. Now would you please leave me alone so I can talk to this woman in private?"
"No," Max said with a starry look in his eyes. "I just want to see you in action. Would it be all right if I followed you around everywhere you go? You know, just so I can soak in the essence of Trevor Mastodon."
"You're giving me a headache, frog. And you're starting to creep me out a little."
"Don't be afraid! I love you!" Max threw his arms around him in a warm embrace. "And I'm a toad, for crying out loud."
Trevor Mastodon broke free violently and let out a growl. "You're on dangerously thin ice, buddy! I'm getting the hell out of here! And don't follow me or I will have you killed." He paused and glanced at Sarah. "I'll deal with you later, little girl." He stormed off angrily and disappeared into the elevator tube.
"Blech," Max spit. "I can't believe I hugged that asshole. There! You see the things I do to get you out of a tight spot? That guy would have killed you if I hadn't come along to chase him off. So do you still hate me or what?"
"Thank you, Max," Sarah smiled as she stood up. "I forgive you. And I don't hate you. You just irritate me sometimes. Now come on, let's go meet Bobby."
"Oh yeah," Max said to himself as she walked past him toward the exit. "It's just a matter of time until we're making sweet, sweet love." He cracked his knuckles and headed out the front door after her.
* * *
Dr. Jonas Wentworth finished scribbling an equation and looked up wearily from his work table. "And so it ends! One last minor adjustment to the spleen and my countless hours of toil will finally be rewarded! You've mocked me for far too long, Octavius! And now, at long last, your utter defeat is at hand!" He mustered up the energy to let out another evil burst of laughter as a bolt of lightning overhead cast the room into silhouette. "Maurice, bring me my wrench!"
His lab assistant lurched over and handed him the tool. "With all due respect, sir, are you sure you've got all the bugs worked out this time?"
"Don't interrupt me, Maurice. This is a very delicate operation." He reached in and gave the spleen a solid twist to the left. "There. That ought to do it. Now, you were saying?"
"It's just the last couple of times things went, well, somewhat awry."
Dr. Wentworth got a maniacal look in his eyes, which flitted back and forth around the room. "I've gone over the facts and figures numerous times. I've triple-checked all the integrals and everything fell into place. I even made those delightful bar graphs and colored pie charts so I could present my ideas in an easy to understand format. You remember the pie charts, don't you Maurice?"
"Yes sir. I just don't want to see you disappointed again after all the hard work you've poured into this project."
"It'll be worth every second of my painful, blood-soaked toil when I see Octavius crushed! Now let's not waste another moment! Another perfectly timed storm is passing overhead as we speak!"
They donned their goggles and assumed their positions. At the appropriate moment Dr. Wentworth pulled the lever and another bolt of lightning struck the prone monster. Once again it began to stir.
"Yes! Rise to your feet, my beautiful monster! Rise up and display your savage fury!"
The monster stood up and opened its eyes slowly. Its glowing yellow irises appeared particularly ominous. Its upper lip pulled back in a bloodcurdling snarl as it surveyed the room. It let out an intense roar and overturned the lab table with a flick of its wrist.
"Yes! That's the spirit!" Dr. Wentworth cackled gleefully. "Although perhaps you could save some of your destructive tendencies for Octavius and spare my lab."
The monster ignored him and walked over to a nearby wall. It began clawing furiously at the wallpaper, reducing it to shreds. It paused for a moment and placed its hands on its hips. "No, no, no, this simply won't do at all," it said with a distinct lisp. "Yellow is all wrong for this room. I'm thinking some nice earth tones would do the trick. Hmm, perhaps a picture window over here. And we've simply got to do something to open up the space in here. I do like the skylight, but have you ever considered maybe putting a futon over here?"
Dr. Wentworth's face froze in mid smile. "What exactly are you doing, pray tell?"
"Why I'm redecorating of course, silly," the monster replied. "Ooooh. You know what you really need over here? Some nice frilly curtains!"
Dr. Wentworth smacked his head in disgust. "Now you listen to me, monster!"
"Please, call me Bruce."
"Never mind that!" Dr. Wentworth yelled. "The point I'm trying to make here is that I am your creator! You must do my bidding! And I command you to destroy Oscar Octavius!"
"Oh, I'm committed to destruction all right," the monster assured him. "Destruction of bad décor! Now let's get to work on this floor. Have you thought about some new carpeting? Fuscia is the hot color right now."
Dr. Wentworth broke down in tears. "Why me? All I wanted was to ruin that accursed Octavius! Is that too much to ask?"
The monster came over and patted him gently on the back. "It's okay. It's good to let your emotions out. Redecorating can wait if you want to talk about your feelings for awhile. How about we all get ourselves some warm milk and cookies, hold hands in a circle, and sing songs about joy and positivity?"
"That does it!" Dr. Wentworth shouted. "I have tried and tried but you're nothing but a miserable failure! I never want to look at you again! Be gone from my sight at once!"
"You need some alone time? Don't worry, I understand. I'll give you your space. But if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, you can count on me." The monster gave him a warm hug and walked out of the room.
"Are you all right, sir?" Maurice asked uncertainly.
"I just don't understand it," Dr. Wentworth said numbly. "All the figures were in order. There must have been some faulty source material. I can't believe how many hours I poured down the drain and meanwhile that worthless Octavius is still walking around freely. Oooh! The mere thought of that man sends me into tremors of anger! Go fetch me my whiskey bottle, Maurice! I'm afraid I'm going to need to drown my sorrows for a good long while."
"Right away, sir," Maurice said and ambled off to the liquor cabinet.
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