The Feeling Of Insignificance
As I sit at the park bench close by the water, I look out over the sunset, sighing to myself.
Everything feels bigger and bigger nowadays, changing ever so often, yet I feel like I can't keep up.
Of course, it's sorta normal with how I am that I fall some steps behind, rather having myself go in my own pace in life.
I still feel so insignificant though, it can't be helped that I just feel like I am perhaps too much in my own pace, along the way having people being bored or disappointed in me.
It's conflicting feelings that might not even be true, but yet it scares me thinking that people want to willingly forget about me.
I am not scared about being forgotten, but I don't want to lose people I tend to have by my side.
"Gosh, there you are! I was so worried when you didn't reply today..!"
I turn to the familiar voice and very well see my ever so beloved Touko rush up to me. My greatest source of happiness...
I sigh again, pondering over what to say, but I soon smile at her. "Sorry, I just had some thoughts troubling me. My bad for not replying..."
"Geez, Stephy, you know that I get worried if you aren't replying at least one hour after..!" Touko says before sitting next to me and takes my hand inbetween her's. "What happened, Stephy? It's not like you to get this troubled."
I look to her and she has a very worried expression, most likely wanting to hear me out at once on why it's like this. I am honest of me, so I won't make the reason into something else.
"I just... feel insignificant, really. Like I am the lowest of the lowest and don't deserve to have meaning in any capacity." I tell her as she grips harder on my hand while looking more and more sad from what I had just said.
"I feel unimportant, and probably stupid of me to think this when I do have a positive outlook on life, but sometimes, these thoughts gets the better of me."
"Not true, not true at all..!" Touko tells me as she quickly goes in for hugging me. "It's not true at all..!"
"H-hey, I... know it's pretty much not true, but sometimes it just comes in as an unwilling thought, and I become more down in my mood during the day."
"Well, I will tell you that you are super duper, thousand times over, important to me..! I am sure you are important to many others as well, but, but..!" Touko begins saying to me as tears begin forming around her eyes, before she does another quick action, this time pressing her lips hard against mine.
As she let go, I can see her having tears running down from her eyes, across her cheeks, before falling down on her uniform. "...I can't live without you! That's how important you are to me!"
"T-Touko..!" I reply before she tightly hugs me again.
"Stupid, stupid! Don't say you are insignificant when tons of people do indeed still care about you..!" Touko says to me between her sniffings. "I might be acknowledged by a lot of people and being quite popular, maybe too popular... But you are the one who I can truly call super important to me!"
"Sorry, Touko..."
"No, I am sorry as well that I couldn't get it earlier that you were feeling troubled in this way. You know I will do anything to help you feel better..."
She... certainly isn't wrong with that. Every time I feel absolute shit, Touko is there to make my day feel a thousand times better, even with just her presence.
"Then... I want to remain by your side, no matter what. That's all I can think about asking." I reply to her as I kiss her ever so lucious lips. "I love you, Touko."
She begins shining up now after what I had say, a giggle escaping her mouth even, before she kisses me back on my lips as well, though clinging onto me a little extra.
"I will always be by your side. Whether you feel unimportant or non-existent, I will keep on loving you." she tells me as she stands up before turning around to me and holding her hands behind her back while heavily blushing and looking at me.
"You are the coolest boyfriend ever, and no one can convince me otherwise~!"
I look at her for an extra second as she had told me that, almost losing myself in how beautiful she looks as her hair and clothes just floats from the winds of the docks.
That is my beloved Touko Kirigaya right there, and no one can replace her, ever.
"And you are the most awesome and beautiful girlfriend in the whole wide universe." I reply to her as she giggles and closes her eyes.
"And we belong to each other and were always meant to be, no matter what people says~!"
"Heh, yeah..." I reply to her as we hug each other again. "Hey, let's head home to me and watch a movie. I have plenty of snacks at home after all!"
"Yes, sure! School is done for the day for both of us either way, so let's have a big movie marathon with stuff you love. How does Godzilla movies sound~?"
"Oh yes! Kaiju stuff is always so great!" I reply in great excitement as Touko takes my hand and we head on our way to my home.
Well, guess in the end, I don't need to feel insignificant, as long as I have Touko, my beloved Touko Kirigaya~
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