Chapter 92 | Black And White
On an early August morning, that was rather bright and sunny, a barn owl with ruffled feathers and a letter clutched in it's beak flew across the streets of London, swooping over rooftops and darting in between other birds that were rising early. Twitters and chirps from the other birds graced the air but this particular owl didn't make a sound, streamlining through the sky gracefully.
Eventually, the rooftops of the shops in Diagon Alley came into view and the barn owl took a nosedive, heading for Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour and the window of the flat that was above the ice cream shop. The owl landed on the windowsill and pecked the glass, catching the attention of the woman inside of the kitchen and she bustled over to the window, opening it up and fetching the post.
"Is it for me, Maura?" Mr Fortescue, better known as Gerald, called over from where he was seated at the kitchen table, tucking into his full English breakfast. Mrs Fortescue shook her head, peering at the envelope with a great deal of curiosity, "It's for Flo. But it says it's from Derbyshire....I didn't know any of his friends lived in Derbyshire," she mused, her fingers tracing the seal of the envelope.
"I think he's still in bed. Probably should get him up, his friends are coming over later, remember?" Gerald told Maura and she nodded absentmindedly, still trying to think of whom the letter could be from as she was fairly sure that Florean didn't have any friends in that area. Biting her lip, she glanced nervously in the direction of her son's bedroom before slipping her finger under the seal and opening the letter.
Maura hated herself for betraying Florean's trust like that but she was curious and she was fairly certain that her son didn't have anything to hide so, surely, he wouldn't mind if she just peeked at the letter? Gerald was oblivious to what she was doing, his head buried in his newspaper as he sipped his coffee and she gulped, lowering her eyes to the handwritten message on the parchment.
Maura didn't even read the letter properly, she just scanned it quickly with her eyes to find who it was signed by but her gaze loitered on the words at the end of letter, just above the name of the writer. Love you loads! the words read and then they were followed by From your ever-loving boyfriend, David. Upon reading that, an inhumane sound slipped from Maura's lips as she dropped the letter onto the floor, shaken to the core.
Gerald looked up from his newspaper with great alarm, glancing towards her with concern, "Maura, love, are you alright?" he asked, going to move to help her but she brushed him off quickly, bending to pick up the letter with shaky hands as she abruptly slipped the parchment back into the envelope, feeling her stomach churn with a whole manner of emotions.
When his wife didn't answer him and simply leaned back against the sink, the incriminating letter clutched to her chest as a shocked expression settled on her face, Gerald huffed and clicked his fingers impatiently, "Maura!" he practically shouted, trying to get her attention as she appeared like she had been lost completely in another world, almost.
Maura Fortescue jumped slightly, blinking herself back to life and she shook her head briefly, placing the letter down onto the table next to the teapot before moving out of the kitchen, "I better go wake Florean," she muttered and Gerald nodded, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at her back because she was acting extremely weird, ever since she had looked at that letter (he'd only noticed she had opened it when she had dropped it, to be honest).
Gerald couldn't help but wonder what it was all about but he shrugged it off, his gaze only lingering briefly on the letter beside the teapot as he could see that it was in fact addressed to their son, which meant that Maura had had no right to open it. But, when he thought about it a little longer, it seemed even more odd that she had opened it....his wife was never one to invade Florean's privacy and the fact that she had been so taken aback really piqued his curiosity....
Meanwhile, Maura had managed to calm her heart rate and had made her way to the hallway that led to Florean's bedroom, rapping on the door sharply and hearing a mumbled, "Come in!" from the other side, causing her to walk in. Florean was sat up in bed, his brown hair tousled and he looked so young and innocent, his cheeks flushed from sleep, in that moment that Maura just wanted to cuddle him but then she remembered the letter and she felt her stomach drop.
Florean must've seen her downcast expression because he rose out of bed with a brief stretch and made his way over to his mother, placing a gentle hand on her arm, "Are you okay, Mum?" he asked, sensing that something was wrong by the fact that Maura was fiddling obsessively with the cross around her neck whilst avoiding his eyes, biting her lip anxiously.
"I'm fine, absolutely fine. Breakfast is ready," Maura gabbled, nerves bubbling up in her system as she thought about the letter and how Florean had kept that as a secret from her....but for how long? Why hadn't he thought that he could talk to her about it? She'd always prided herself on having a good relationship with her son but evidently she didn't if Florean didn't want to share those intimate details about his sexuality with her.
Now that she thought about it for longer, Maura felt even more guilty that she had opened the letter because it was Florean's secret, not hers, and he would've told her when he was ready. Though it hurt her that he didn't trust her at that moment, Maura knew that it was Florean's business to say and she had taken that away from him, along with his trust because she had invaded his privacy so readily.
"Mum, what's wrong?" Florean asked again, forever in tune with other people's emotions, and Maura avoided his concerned glance again, choosing to stare at the floor, "Everything's fine," she told the carpet and Florean raised an eyebrow sceptically, not that his mother could see that as she was still looking fixedly at the floor.
"You can talk to me, you know," Florean said softly, going to grab Maura's hand but she pulled it away, suddenly looking up and the fire in her eyes was so alarming that Florean took a little step back, shocked. "And you can talk to me about anything but evidently you don't love or trust me enough to do that. What's the point in being a mother if your son keeps secrets from you?" Maura cried out, watching Florean's face pale at her words.
Internally, Florean was freaking out because he was assuming, correctly (not that he was aware of his accuracy, of course), that his mother knew, that she had found out about his secret relationship with David and that, now, he would be kicked out onto the street for being a disgusting gay boy. Outwardly, he tried not to appear suspicious and simply furrowed his eyebrows, trying to be calm and composed, "What are you talking about, Mum?" Florean asked blankly.
Maura made a noise of frustration, throwing her hands up into the air and she stormed off into the direction of the kitchen, mumbling obscenities underneath her breath as Florean buried his head in his hands, feeling his pulse quicken as the panic pumped through his bloodstream, channeling his every movement before he quickly rushed after Maura, his heart thumping wildly in his chest.
As Florean neared the kitchen doorway, he found that it was blocked by none other than his mother, who had obviously stopped dead in her tracks, for a reason that Florean couldn't work out. He nearly crashed into her, which made Maura glance behind her before traipsing into the kitchen, allowing Florean to slip in after her and witness the scene in front of him.
His father, Gerald Fortescue, was standing in his place at the kitchen table with a few sheets of parchment in his hand, that looked suspiciously like they had been taken out of an envelope on the table, which was now lying in a sticky pool of jam. Gerald's face was turning slowly purple and he had obviously just finished saying something to his wife before Florean entered, something that Florean hadn't heard and something that rendered Maura speechless.
"What's going on? Dad-" Florean started to ask but was cut off by Gerald's sharp, dismissive gesture, "Answer my question, Maura," he demanded, still staring at his wife and the woman practically cowered, a sheen of sweat visible on her forehead as she clutched at her apron tightly, her fingers working the fabric furiously.
"I don't know," Maura whispered and it was at this point that Gerald finally addressed Florean, who had worked out what had happened by squinting at the parchment and recognising David's handwriting. A sick feeling filled his stomach, a mixture of anger at his parents for invading his privacy and also fear because he knew that they wouldn't understand his confusing sexuality and his relationship with his boyfriend.
"So," Gerald started, his voice rather authoritative and intimidating which sent a tremor of terror through Florean's body, "A gay, huh? You're one of those?" he practically spat, his moustache waggling when he talked and Florean gulped, "No, I'm not. I-" he was cut off again by his father's scoffing laugh.
"If you're not a filthy fag, then what are you? You have a bloody boyfriend, for Merlin's sake! This other scumbag says that he loves you," Gerald pulled a face when he said the word 'loves' as if he was mimicking what David had written and Florean felt anger bubble up in his stomach, "He does. I do. We love each other," he delivered his words confidently and bravely but Florean could still feel the bile rising at the back of his throat.
"THEN YOU'RE GAY! You're nothing but a disappointment on this family, an absolute disgrace on the Fortescue name-" Gerald started to yell at Florean as Maura cowered in the corner, not wanting to get involved as of yet, but this time it was Florean who cut him off, not the other way around. "I'm not gay!" he protested loudly, causing the kitchen to go deathly silent as he took a deep breath.
"I'm not gay," Florean repeated, his heart thudding in his chest, "I don't know what I am, I don't know whether there's a label for it or whether I'm just messed up in the head but I don't just like boys. I'm attracted to girls as well....it's confusing for me and it's confused me for a while. David feels the same way, we connected over that and he's my boyfriend. But I still like girls. I don't know how else to explain it but if you have a problem with me having feelings for boys, then you need to deal with it," Florean finished, his fingernails digging into his palms nervously.
There was a shocked silence after his miniature rant which was soon broken by the sound of Gerald practically collapsing into his chair, burying his head in his arms and muttering nonsense like 'what has the world come to' and 'my boy....a bloody, delusional pansy' as Maura slowly made her way over to Florean, who was attempting to stop himself from crying, tears swimming in his eyes.
"My boy," Maura whispered, holding her arms out, "C'mere, my beautiful, brave boy," she gestured for him to embrace her and Florean did so, feeling her acceptance in the hug as her arms wrapped tightly around him. It was like he had regressed back into childhood, when a hug from his mother was just the right medicine for any sort of problem, but Florean didn't mind.
He buried his head in her shoulder, inhaling her wonderful flowery scent that was intertwined with a mixture of bacon and toast, feeling the tears seep out of his eyes and onto her blouse. Florean was about to say something, his throat clogged up with emotion, but he was interrupted by the loud banging of a fist on the kitchen table, making both him and Maura jump out of their embrace in alarm.
Gerald was stood up again, his face slowly going red as his chest heaved up and down, narrowing his eyes at Florean, "I don't understand," he said through gritted teeth, "How have I raised you? A weak little boy who doesn't even know whether he wants to kiss boys or girls. I taught you to be decisive, to be a man and this is what you give me?" he hissed at Florean, who felt the tears well up in his eyes again as the sick, angry feeling also surged in his veins.
"I am decisive. I have decided that I like both girls and boys. That's a choice, that's a choice I have made and I am proud of that choice but the only thing that is confusing is that there doesn't seem to be a name for that. You either like boys or girls, it's like black and white, there's no grey area," Florean tried to explain, a defensive tone lacing his words before he took in his Dad's expression and scoffed, laughing humourlessly, "You don't even accept that I have a boyfriend, how could I possibly expect you to understand?" he sighed.
"I don't understand," Maura suddenly said rather quietly, the first thing she had uttered out-loud, really. Florean and Gerald's heads both snapped to her and Florean felt his heart sink, the hope that his mother had accepted him (he had assumed the hug had meant that Maura understood) being crushed almost as quickly as it had been made.
Maura seemed to see his face fall, however, and she quickly amended her previous statement, "I don't understand but I'm willing to learn. It...it's not what I've been taught all of my life," she glanced down at her cross necklace, "But you're my son, Florean, and I'll always love you, whether you're straight or gay. I may not understand or agree with your relationship with David as of yet, Flo, but I still love you and support you," Maura turned to her husband desperately, "Can't you do the same, Gerald?"
Florean also turned to look at his father at this point, nerves pummelling through his system as his fingernails dug even further into his palms, creating pink half-moon marks on his skin. Gerald was taking deep breaths, his chest heaving up and down as he ground his teeth, his jaw clenching as his eyes were fixed on the table before he finally brought them up to meet his son's nervous eyes, "I can't," he simply said before storming out of the door and down the stairs to the parlour, getting ready for another day.
The door slammed behind Gerald and Florean felt all of the emotions that had been building up inside of him suddenly crash over him, like a huge wave was engulfing him and he was drowning, his chest heaving up and down. Without even realising, he had sunk to the ground and Maura's arm was around his shoulders as he sobbed, the pain of his father's rejection stabbing him furiously all over his body.
Florean didn't know what he had been expecting but, when he had envisioned coming out to his parents, he had imagined that his father would've been somewhat accepting, not harsh and ignorant like he had been. He knew that it would be hard for Gerald to hear the news that Florean had a boyfriend but he had assumed that his Dad would just need some time and then he would understand.
It didn't really help that the situation had been taken out of his hands - he hadn't planned for any of this to happen on this Tuesday morning. Florean was sure that, if he had worked it out and came out to his parents properly, both Maura and Gerald might've understood a bit better. He knew that it was his mother's fault for opening the letter in the first place but it was bound to come out at some point so Maura had just made it happen faster than Florean had intended.
Florean knew that his sexuality was confusing, hence why he had found solace with David because that was one confusing thing that they shared in common. Seriously, what kind of messed up idiot liked both girls and boys?
It was unheard of to Florean so he understood why that was confusing to his parents because it still confused him but the main reason why he was so upset by Gerald's reaction was because he had just wanted his father to accept him, no matter the confusion.
It really was like black and white when it came to revealing his sexuality - people would either understand or they wouldn't, there was no in between.
~~~
"Well, I'm just glad that you're here in one piece, to be honest."
It was later on in the day now, nearing lunchtime and the entire 'original' group was all back together, seated around a few tables in Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour, as they all dug into their ice creams and chatted, glad to catch up and see each other after a few weeks apart.
Charlus was seated near the window, his arm draped lazily around Mia who looked the happiest that anyone had ever seen her, as Pomona commented when they had finally sat down after hugging tightly for a solid ten minutes. As soon as Euphemia had arrived, she had been bombarded by hugs because all of her friends had been really concerned about her, despite the reassurance in letters that she was fine from both Charlus and herself.
Minerva had been the one who had commented about being relieved about Mia being in one piece and Alastor agreed with her from where he was sat next to Florean, digging into his ice cream enthusiastically and sending a warm smile in Euphemia's direction. Eugenia was sat next to him but she was too busy talking to Lyall, her face lighting up when he spoke, the feelings evidently still present.
"How is it at the Potters?" Filius asked Mia, as a way of opening up the conversation again and she smiled, "It's amazing. I've never felt so welcome anywhere in my life," she nudged Charlus slightly with her leg, their knees bumping together and he beamed at her, placing a kiss on her forehead which caused Pomona to coo at them.
"Of course you're going to say that with your boyfriend next to you. You're not going to say it's awful, are you?" Alastor said in a teasing manner, rolling his eyes playfully and Charlus threw a napkin at him in protest, "Oi! She's very happy at my house, thank you," he insisted and Euphemia giggled before her gaze landed on Florean and she was instantly doused in concern.
Florean had been extremely quiet, compared to what he was usually like, ever since they had all met up in the parlour about half an hour ago. When Mia had arrived, he had peppered her with kisses and hugs like everyone else (whilst crying out dramatically that he was 'never letting her go ever again' in typical Florean fashion) but he had fallen silent once they all sat down with their ice cream pots.
"Flo, are you okay?" Euphemia whispered to him, leaning over the table and Minnie noticed, also glancing over at Florean with concern as their interaction was missed underneath the playful banter that was ricocheting around the table between Alastor, Charlus and Filius. Eugenia and Lyall were still flirting discreetly and Pomona was joining in the conversation with the rest of the boys so Minerva and Mia could talk to Florean without arousing suspicion.
Florean immediately fixed a bright smile on his face, one that didn't quite meet his eyes, as soon as Mia asked after his well-being, "I'm great! Why would you think otherwise?" he forced out a laugh that might've convinced others but Minerva was the exception, "Because you look like you're about to cry," she pointed out, not beating around the bush, and Florean jolted out of his seat.
He furrowed his eyebrows, "Cry? Me? Nah," he laughed again but neither Euphemia or Minnie cracked a smile, the former becoming even more worried, "Flo, if something is wrong, you know you can talk to us, right?" she told him, reaching over the table to grab his hand, squeezing it comfortingly. "Yeah, we care about you," Minerva added softly.
Florean nodded jerkily, emotions clogging up in his throat which prevented him from speaking and Minnie's face melted into even more of a concerned expression, which only made him more teary because his best friends just cared so much and it genuinely hurt his heart. Mia was about to say something else but Florean knew he would cry if she said anything else so he quickly stood up, dragging his chair back with a loud scrape which caught everyone else's attention.
"Be right back," Florean mumbled and he quickly rushed off in the direction of the counter, where he quickly slipped underneath and disappeared through the door that led to his flat. Charlus nudged Euphemia, his eyebrows furrowed, "What's up with him?" he asked and Lyall and Eugenia actually broke out of their flirtatious bubble so that the latter could also inquire, "Yeah, he looked really upset. What's wrong?" the blonde asked.
Pomona was staring thoughtfully after Florean, biting her lip. She had seen Mr Fortescue send Florean a dark look when the boy had hurried past him, evidently upset, and it concerned her but she wasn't sure whether to voice what she had sighted to the others because it could be a sensitive topic for Florean. So she kept quiet, listening to everyone else's conversation instead.
"I think he's just sick of playing someone he's not supposed to be," Minnie was saying as Pomona zoned back into the ongoing conversation, "He's so used to looking after us all and making sure that we're okay....I think that he needs a little bit of looking after now. Everybody does at some point," she shrugged.
The sad thing was that she was absolutely right. Florean did need some looking after....Euphemia had had her fair share of being looked after when she had been going through her own troubles so now she was more than willing and determined to help someone else, "Let's just show that we're there for him. Speaking from experience, a simple feeling of knowing that people have your back is really comforting, trust me," Mia told them.
After all, that's what friends were for, right? Supporting each other through everything, whether the situation be black or white, no matter what. Friendship really is the strongest cure, sometimes, and the proof of this was shown when Florean returned to the tables and found himself in a massive group hug, surrounded by love and acceptance.
Like he deserved.
Just want to clarify that the homophobic opinions voiced in this chapter do not correlate whatsoever with my own thoughts - I am completely supportive of the LGBTQ+ community and I do not agree whatsoever with the homophobia in this chapter, it was simply written for the sake of the character of Florean's dad.
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