Chapter 7

Leah

            I breathe him in as he holds me against his strong chest.  I close my eyes and let the warmth of his body warm my cheek.  I am not sure how much Noah and I have in common, but I do know that we have both been on the receiving end of a very painful heartbreak.  That one thing seems to be the force that is pulling us closer.  I look up into his eyes.  “Does it still sting for you?”

            Noah brushes my hair behind my ear and smiles down at me.  “No.  It doesn’t sting any longer for me.”  I smile back at him and hope he knows that his words have given me hope that maybe I can survive Lyle.  It is starting to feel like I am in the company of an old friend.  I turn my back to him and lie up against his chest, stretching my feet out to the other chair.  His hand swoops across my forehead in a soothing motion and he places a kiss on the top of my head again.  I don’t feel hungry anymore so I push the carton of food away from me and wrap my arms around my stomach allowing myself to lean into him further. 

            “So have you dated anyone else seriously since the break-up?”  I’m glad I’m not facing him right now or he would see the way my cheeks flush at being so invasive of his privacy.  His answer doesn’t come right away.  Like me, he pushes his food away from him and rests his chin on the top of my head. 

            “No.  No one serious.  I don’t know if I ever will.  I don’t want to open my heart up to that pain again.  My research has really narrowed my view on relationships.”  I hear the sincerity in his words and hate that he no longer has hope that he will love again. 

            “Where does that leave someone your age?  If you don’t plan on dating anyone seriously, then what kind of relationships do you have with women?”  I know what I saw when I first moved in.  The rage that woman had written all over her face is not just the scorn of a casual friend.

            “I have short relationships with women.”  His tone is flat and I hear him breathe out a long breath.  I lift up and turn around to face him. 

            “Does it work?  You don’t find yourself falling for any of them?”  He smiles at me again but it falls quickly.  His eyes look away from mine for a minute and I imagine it is hard for him to share this with me since we have only just met.

            “It works.  I don’t fall for any of them.  When they get a little too caught up in me, I do what it takes to end the relationship.”  I feel my brows pull together in question.

            “What do you mean?” I ask and I’m surprised my voice is almost a whisper.  It is as if we are sharing a secret between us. 

            Noah sucks in a big breath and leans back in his chair.  “I’m not a good guy, Leah.  I’m an excellent friend, but a terrible boyfriend.  Hell, I wouldn’t even call myself a boyfriend, more like a friend with benefits.”  I watch as he kicks at something on the floor.  I can tell he is struggling to tell me this.  “I like to keep things simple.  I have girls over to have short relationships,” he looks at me as he emphasizes the word short.  “There’s been a lot of women over the last few years and if it tells you anything about how it ends, I’m not in touch with any of them right now.  We take care of business and then go our separate ways.  I try not to overlap any time I am with a woman before I move to the next, but if I am honest I have to say that I don’t really put too much effort into that.  What you saw a few days ago was the outcome of a recent slip up in that area.”

            “Doesn’t it get lonely?” I ask, gathering up the open containers.   I begin to close them and Noah follows my lead.

            “That’s the whole point.  I don’t give a lot of space for the lonely to creep in.”  His eyes stare into mine and I get the message loud and clear.  Staying with him for this short time is going to give me a front row seat to his self destruction.  I know he won’t see it that way, but I can’t help to see a revolving door of sexual partners as a bad thing.  I nod my head and stand up from my seat.

            “I won’t stay long.  I don’t want to get in the way of your coping tool.”  I say it jokingly, but I am serious.

            “Stay as long as you need.  I will find ways to do what I need to do.”  I appreciate his honesty and nod my head with a smile.

            “Are you ready to get started on those videos?”  I’m now at the counter, packing up the left over food and moving it into the fridge.  Noah steps up to the counter beside me and watches my face.  I think he is looking for some sign that he has upset me.  I smile at him and tuck my hair behind my ear again.  I feel a pang of hurt in my chest when I imagine if I weren’t here he would be with another woman.  I don’t have any claim on him, but for some reason thinking of him with someone else is not something my heart is enjoying.

            “I will go get it set up.  We need to go over how you would rate each thing and we can watch one couple tonight for practice.  I need you to sign a confidentiality form also.  It’s standard practice for my psych assistants.”

            “Of course.  I’ll be right out.”

            Noah turns and makes his way to the living room.  I close my eyes and tell myself that he is a neighbor and I don’t need to rescue him from himself.  He is an adult and can make his own choices.  I have only been with Lyle, but I know that I would not have it in my heart to separate sex from love.  Noah can act as if he has found the answer to not falling in love, I know better.

            When everything is put away in the kitchen, I make my way out and sit on the opposite end of the couch as Noah.  He slides a paper and a pen over to me and I pull my legs up onto the couch and cross them in front of me.  I take a minute to read the agreement and then sign my name.  I set it back on the small table and turn my attention to Noah.  My heart speeds up in my chest when his crooked smile tips and he squeezes my knee.  “Thanks, beautiful.”

            I smile at him and watch his mouth as he begins to explain the coding procedure.  I can hear my phone ringing in the distance and normally I would sprint to it so that I wouldn’t miss a call from Lyle.  No, he doesn’t ever call me, but since he has my number I have convinced myself his call is coming soon.  The ringing floats to the background as I find myself enraptured by Noah’s voice.  It is not lost on me that I would rather spend this time with him than answer a possible call from Lyle.

            I can’t help but to smile at him as I watch him enthusiastically discuss his project.  My attention goes back and forth from his lips to his hand on my knee.  I force myself to hear the words he is saying even though for the first time in weeks I feel as if I have found the drug that will help my broken heart.  I see him squint his eyes at me and then he reaches up and tugs a strand of my hair that has broken free from my clip.

            “Are you listening to me?” he asks playfully and I feel my face flush with the embarrassment of being caught lost in my own head. 

            “Sorry,” I say and look down for a minute.  I’m not sure if he is going to be angry at me.  I feel his finger under my chin as he lifts my eyes to his.

            “I’m having a hard time concentrating too,” he says softly.  “I’ll start over and this time let’s focus on the project.”  His smile is back and I can’t help but to be pleased that he is having a hard time concentrating too.  We sit there for a minute just looking at each other and then he breaks the silence, “I hope he told you how beautiful you are,” he says softly before dropping his hand away from my face.  He reaches for the remote control and turns the TV on. 

            I don’t answer him, but I feel his words as they warm my soul.  I know in this moment that forgetting Lyle will be hard, but walking away from Noah might be impossible.  

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Don't forget to read my other stories!

http://www.wattpad.com/story/10291982-the-taste-of-letting-go-chapter-one

http://www.wattpad.com/story/11318322-saving-hope

http://www.wattpad.com/36502478-falling-into-trouble

http://www.wattpad.com/story/8522324-rookie-in-love-sytycw-2013

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