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Was there ever going to be a single strand of coherent thoughts that flowed through your mind without disruption? Perhaps not, concluding to the fact as to where you stood, shivering like a leaf on your balcony with an empty bottle of JD whiskey dancing around your fingers. The bitter air was cold and had drawn a nasty red rash across your soft cheeks as your eyes wondered the streets of queens finding something to fixate on as the guilt became ridden once again in the bane of your chest.

Drinking had never been your strong suit, but it out out the flames of addiction that held your tongue hostage. Addiction to the scent of your beloved Peter Parker who had finally left you his phone number on the kitchen counter shortly before departing last night, yet had seized to drop you a call nor a text. It was times like these that you feared the most. The dread, the ensemble of emotions that crowded your brain like a hoard on Black Friday. Finding the only way to drown them out through drinking to drown out the noise. 

What had come of this evening was something that brought joy to your black soul, something so sweet and kind you never thought it would be shed upon you; a dinner date, and not just any dinner date. A dinner date at one of the most expensive restaurants in queens, Allesandros. A fine dine, expensive wine kind of fancy. The thoughts of wondering how on earth Peter was going to afford this were pushed aside rather abruptly by the narrowing edge of the question 'where you even going to fit in?' You had no dress, you didn't even own a pair of high heels and you knew straight and forth you wouldn't be caught dead showing up in a pair of washed out jeans and a hoodie.

The guilt of bankruptcy stared you cold in the face as you turned to face your apartment living room, a raven black dress mocking you along side the red bottom heels that laughed at your sold out expression. If tonight was going to expensive then you had to look that part at least. 

"Better be worth it cause we're not eating for a week," you groaned as you passed the dress and heels, tossing the empty glass bottle into the trash behind your kitchen counter and headed to the bedroom to find some kind of jacket that would go with your outfit. Something that didn't scream college debt.

As your fingers flicked through the fabrics, your ears pricked at the sudden sound of your phone vibrating on the kitchen side where you had left it to dwindle in introvert silence while the day passed by. Surprised by the noise you skipped back to the kitchen counter where your hands curled around your phone eagerly and eyes beamed down to your hearts content, reading Peters as it shone through your phone screen.

'tables booked for 6, gotta pick something up before the date, reservation is made under Parker, I'll see you at the table :)'

The sound of your heart pounding in your ears drowned out all other noises as a flourish of angry butterflies filled your chest and stomach.

The overwhelming sense of excitement that filled your chest wasn't something you had ever been adjourned too, however was something that came with a price. The last time you had allowed yourself to become this lost in the sensation of falling in love you were lead down a steep and slippery road. Afraid of the consequences, you knew it would drag you more steps back than you were unsure if you could fight against. But, at the end of the day, this was Peter. Sweet, innocent, loving, adoring Peter who had showed you not only a good time, but that his heart was pure.

Contrary to your own beliefs, you had thought that those thoughts would have sent you running for the hills, but imagining Peter's face lighting up in the most delighted ways when he came to see you standing in your dress that you knew he would adore, it made your heart fill with serenity. Tonight was about letting go and settling in, allowing yourself to come face to face with Peter and get to know him for the person he really was. You wanted to read every page of his book, word for word, not miss a single detail. You wanted every chapter and more, even the sequels, and you hoped he'd like to hear your own too. After all the time you had spend together there had been doors you had opened, corridors you'd seeked out together, but under the sheets it was rather dark and secluded. Tonight, everything was going to be on the table, laid out for you to pick and choose and prod at all evening. Tonight you were really going to get to know Peter Parker.

The night dragged on slower than you would have hoped for, excitement eating away at your chest. To try and pry the time along a little you decided to start getting ready two hours early, which gave you time to shower, shave, all in all pamper yourself to the ultimatum. You did two face masks, brushed your teeth twice, curled your hair once dried and spent the most obnoxious amount of time standing by the mirror as you ran through your face care step by step, carefully and tenderly caressing every crevice of your jaw and around your eyes, making sure to reach every spot. There was nothing you were leaving unattended, for this night was going to be perfect, the meal and the afterparty which had planned for Peter.

Once you were finally set and ready you slipped into your dress, tights coating your legs and feet sliding into your new heels before standing in front of the mirror to admire your work. There were times you had faced the same reflection and felt so much hatred, so much despise and corruption, often drowning in the tears of the girl that had been shielded behind walls of hatred her entire life. But standing, looking yourself up and down in the slim black dress, counting out every curve and what you once would have called your imperfections you suddenly felt so at home in your own skin. Instead of clawing away trying to tear away the imperfect seal you caressed the length of your arms with your fingertips, gliding them along your jaw and smiling sweetly with joy and completion. It was as though a holed inside your heart had been filled.

In the midst of your standing, eyes floating up and down your frame your head jolted at the sudden sound of a gentle knock coming from your doorway. You knew you weren't expecting anyone, there was no one in your apartment building that you spoke to apart from Peter, which brought you to a panic. Grasping a comforter blanket from your couch you covered yourself and the dress before heading to the doorway. You flicked the lock with ease and swung open the frame with a smile spreading across your lips, until you saw a girl standing in your doorway, holding a bottle of Prosecco.

"Molly... What can I do for you?" you swallowed lightly, dropping the blanket to your side as your excitement wore off.

"Sorry to bother you on such short notice, I was just wondering if you had two wine glasses I could borrow? I don't really have all of my stuff moved into my new apartment yet and you're the only person I thought I could ask," she smiled sweetly, bringing your beating heart to a calm. There was something about Molly that didn't seem quite right, as though one of her puzzle pieces belonged to a different box completely. But, you weren't one to judge a book by it's cover at the best of times, so nodded softly, "wait right here."

Collecting two wine glasses from your cabinet and clasping them in each hand you turned on your heels when your breath hitched in your throat suddenly, seeing Molly standing right behind you, eyes gazing around your apartment.

"Come on in..." you spoke softly, taking a steady step back as you kept your eyes on her.

"I love your deco," she smirked softly, "it's so..." eyes darting away from your finely painted walls, they fell to you, "you."

"I'll take that as a compliment," you nodded softly, turning your lips inward and handing her the wine glasses with force.

"You look stunning, night out with the girls?" she tilted her head softly, widening her eyes as she curled her fingers around the stand of the glasses and holding them by her side as she looked you up and down.

"Thank you and actually I have a date," you nodded, swallowing lightly feeling the slightly tension that had spawned between the space between you, "so if that's all then if you don't mind-"

"That's such a coincidence, I have a date tonight too!" the shriek in her voice made your ears ring and an upturned uncomfortable expression fell upon your face.

"Really, wow, interesting, I'm kinda busy right now so is that all you need?" you didn't mean to come across as rude or bitter, which you concluded had passed on as Molly's expression changed from intuitive to rather stone faced as you ushered her out of your kitchen.

"So are you and Peter like a thing?" she asked suddenly as she backed up towards your door, causing your brow to raise, pausing you in your tracks.

"Yeah it's pretty serious," you nodded, tone subtle and stiff, retaining from giving any emotion away. You weren't honestly and truly sure if what you and Peter had was considered serious, but if it meant keeping Molly and any other prying female away from what you wanted to stay yours then you did what you had to do.

"Serious, huh? Wow, you must feel so lucky to have someone so hot as a boyfriend."

"...Undeniably," you smiled with a hint of sarcasm in your tone as you finally crossed her over the boundary and back out into the hallway, hand clasping the door ready to slam it closed, "so is that everything?"

"Pretty sure, you're a doll, we should get together some time, you don't seem like you have many girl friends. Do you get out much? You look like you could use some sunlight-"

"Goodbye Molly." Slamming the door closed you finally felt rid of the demon woman who had moved into your apartment complex, sighing deeply as you planted your hands against the door frame. As the silence started to settle, you were suddenly cut off guard by the sound of your phone buzzing, but this time it was a phone call. Taking a deep breath you stepped away from the frame, looking back one last time before flicking the lock.

Peter's name shone across your phone screen as you picked up your phone, bringing butterflies flying into your stomach. You answered with pride, a smile shining over your face as you pressed the phone to your ear and mumbling a gentle "hello."

"Hey, u-uh look I'm really sorry but I need to cancel our date tonight."

Your heart sunk as you stood by your kitchen counter, smile falling from your face and smashing like a china pot on the ground beside your feet.

"I'm really sorry, Y/N, I have Spider-Man stuff and- fuck, really, I'm so sorry, I thought I could make it but-"

"It's fine, Peter, really it's fine."

"A-are you sure?"

Where you sure? You had been so looking forward to this you wanted Peter to know you were saddened, let him know how much you wanted to spend time with him tonight.

"I'm sure, but promise you'll make it up to me? I bought a dress just for you and now I don't have any excuse to wear it." your tone altered lightly, dipping into more lustrous waters as you tilted your hands danced along the kitchen counter anxiously awaiting his reply.

"Trust me, I'll give you an excuse to wear it," he chuckled behind the line bringing a smile to your lips, "listen I really gotta go but I'll call you tonight, okay? I'll be home pretty late, maybe if you're awake I could drop by?"

"You better, tiger," you smirked, "hey, stay safe. I want you home in one piece and nothing less."

"Yes miss."

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Sorry for such a short chapter. I've been having some major issues with saving my work so I've started using Google docs which can equally be as much of a nightmare at times. Thanks for reading, working on a new chapter as we speak so hopefully won't take as long to come out as this one did. Got all the time in the world to be updating these days just been sucked dry of all my motivation 😭