A piece of the past…

She was back to school and she was aware of the curious glances her classmates threw at her direction every now and then. Though Jackie and George never told her anything about any rumors about her, she was certain there were at least two.

She was not obliged to explain her domestic problems anyway, she thought.

But her friends were also affected in a way and they probably had a lot of questions they wanted to ask, things they wanted to be clear. George, for one, was someone who wanted things in place. Dannie would bet anything she was itching to find out what was happening with her so she could finally put the matter at rest and go on without wondering about things people only talked about behind Dannie’s back.

During lunchtime, on her first day back at school, Dannie finally decided to tell Jackie and George.

“I know it’s not a secret that I have some family issues at home,” she started.

Jackie immediately stopped moving and George just looked at her as she munched her food. Neither of her friends blinked an eye.

“And I know that the two of you have a lot of questions so I decided I better just tell you myself. My parents are not like yours. They chose different things, most of them wrong, and they do things in a different way.”

It seemed that her openness finally gave way for George to speak her mind and her friend said, “Like beating you and Tessa up.”

Dannie’s lips thinned. She nodded her head.

Jackie was nearly in tears.

“You should do something about it,” George said strongly.

“They feed us. They try to find work for a living. They give us roof over our heads. They have a lot of frustrations,” she reasoned. When she met George’s eyes, she immediately had to look away. There was a curious, knowing look in them that she didn’t want to face at the moment. George’s always imagined things far beyond what normal people would go for and most often, they were justifiable. She would think worse of the bad and expect something bad from something good. And at that moment, Dannie knew her friend was doing just that.

“Dannie,” George started but Dannie stopped her with a smile.

“I hope you can understand my situation. Don’t worry so much about me. I can handle everything.”

George opened her mouth to argue but closed it when Dannie continued eating.

She didn’t want to answer what her friend had in mind. Maybe in the future, she’d face that question. But not right now.

Some more horrible things were better kept locked up from other people.

PRESENT DAY

I said Troy was going to do something awesome, right?

Well, it actually happened while we went out of town to Cadiz to attend the Dinagsa Festival which is kind of a big thing every January in Negros. Like the Masskara, it comprises of a lot of street parties. But it has its own twists. You see, people who’d come for the Dinagsa Festival have to be ready to get dirty. You will not survive the day without being smeared with different colors of latex paint all over your face and body. People would go home looking like walking canvases who met a two-year-old painter wannabe.

I didn’t know how I felt about the festival, actually. For most vehicles, it is a nightmare. Imagine the horror of being smeared with paint, though water-based, and you couldn’t even lift a freaking door to ward off your attackers.

But thankfully, Troy had a friend who lived in Cadiz and all of us—Beatle, Tata, Vicky and me—were safely parked away from the main streets of Cadiz. It was the first time I saw him after he dropped Dannie the day after Christmas, actually. I thought the two of them would be okay. They were in a good mood the last time they met, right? But no, they were awkward around each other. Was it because they had not seen each other for weeks? I just knew it was not good! But I had to bear with it, right?

While Dannie, Troy and the rest of their friends, including Miguel and Lee, went out to roam around the streets and get dirty with paint with nothing but Troy’s camera in hand, I got to talking with Tata and Beatle. We had some catching up to do, you know. I had to beg for mercy for not talking to them because of leaving me behind last New Year’s Eve. Vicky was the first to forgive me. Beatle said he didn’t really care and that he just kept quiet because the two vics would burn his engines if he as much as talked to me. Tata was not an easy vic to please so I had to work on her a little bit more. When I finally said I wanted Troy to end up with Dannie, she finally gave in. She had been worried lately, she said. Troy had been acting weird. He met up with Jordan and Dean alone quite a few times but he never went to the boys’ apartment. Vicky said he was probably avoiding Dannie.

But why? The last time I saw them they were really okay!

Beatle said they may have looked okay but all of us should know better. My buddy was right, I guess. Maybe the awkward tension between Dannie baby and Troy had grown during the days they had not seen each other.

To distract me from that worry, I asked them about the details for the wedding I must have missed while being with Dannie almost every day. Tata said the groom was not having cold feet but the bride was.

I was horrified. Wasn’t she the one who wanted the wedding?

Beatle said it was only natural for a woman to get cold feet.

But the wedding is still on, right? Dannie’s almost done with all the preparations!

Vicky almost roared her engines saying the wedding was definitely on. Beatle agreed, saying he had overheard the groom tell his friends he wouldn’t let the bride walk out on him after everything they had been through.

Well, good for the both of them. I had already embraced the fact that I would lose her over him so he better drag her down that aisle!

We spent the rest of the day talking and praying no one would enter the gates and start pouring latex paints on us. Georgie would raise hell if that would ever happen to me!

The amazing thing Troy did happened when we had to leave Cadiz.

*****

Dannie was sure Troy was trying to avoid her all day. Or maybe he had been for weeks. She had not seen him since after Christmas. And she had thought they were okay after he dragged her to his parents’ house. She even expected him to drop by a few days after the New Year but he did not. She was afraid to ask Dean and Jordan and she was not ready to ask Jackie and George either in fear that they would make such a big issue out of it.

He did not insist that she ride to Cadiz with him, Miguel and Lee. And he didn’t complain when she insisted she take Toto with her and not ride Beatle and Victor.

Everyone was sort of okay with that, actually, and that kind of surprised her. Normally, Jackie and George would argue to leave at least one car behind. But none of them did that. Maybe they thought she needed her own space?

Troy led the convoy to Cadiz and when they got there, he did not even talk to her like he normally would. He did not even make an effort to piss her off like he used to. It seemed that she was just there but not really. He never talked to her directly, nor did he call her by her name and she would not be human if that did not bother her at all.

She wasn’t sure if Jackie and George noticed Troy’s act of ignorance. Her two friends were busy with their own boyfriends to even notice anything else that day. They had lunch at his friend’s house and then they were off to the streets wearing old shirts and pants.

She was dragged along the crowded street by Jackie and George for the first few hours they were there. They did random stopovers in different booths where they bought drinks and talked and took pictures. Troy spent most of his time talking to the guys if he was not taking shots for his blog. And since he was quite famous among the female population back in Bacolod, he would usually stop to chat with some of them. He’d talk and laugh with them over the loud music like he usually did.

Seeing him like that, acting like the old Troy toward other people, was bittersweet. She had to at least admit that. If he was trying to return to being his normal cocky self, then she’d let him. If it was the only way he could deal with whatever he was feeling toward her, she was okay with that. She had to be okay with that.

After two stopovers, they dived into the crowded street again and continued walking. Troy fell behind when a group of ladies shouted for him. Dannie looked back and checked where he was.

“Hey, Dannie! You okay back there?” George asked, looking over her shoulder. She had her hand on Jordan’s shoulders, guiding the guy through the crowd. It was his first time and George had to take care of him. Jackie and Dean were right ahead of them, Jackie dragging her boyfriend through the crowd they were almost stumbling. Miguel and Lee were nowhere to be seen, but they would eventually show up like they usually did.

“Yeah! Don’t worry about me!” she called back and before she knew it, a group of excited and squealing teenagers walked right in front of her, separating her from her friends, and they were holding cans of paints. They held up their hands and Dannie barely had time to react when they reached up to her face and smeared her different colors of paints. “Happy Dinagsa!” they shouted, turned and ran away, squeezing through the crowd. Dannie tried to wipe away the dripping paint from her chin and wiped her hand with her shirt. She looked around to find her friends and they were nowhere in sight.

She thought she heard George’s voice shouting her name and she turned. George was nowhere in sight. She decided to walk ahead. Surely, her friends would have stopped somewhere to wait for her like they talked about earlier. But walking on was like walking through a warzone on her own. She had to fight back some more kids who wanted to smear her skin with more paint. She did not complain loudly because that was what the festival was all about and she came here expecting paint. But when a group of men with wet paint covering their entire arms and face stepped right in front of her with their arms open wide, she said, “No, please!” But they were not listening. They just grinned at her, their white teeth highlighted through their paint-covered faces, and stepped forward to embrace her, shouting, “FREE HUGS!” intending to share the paint on their arms. “No!” she squealed, her arms defensively covering her chest and her head bent for the attack. But the attack did not come.

“She’s mine, guys,” Troy’s voice said before her. Dannie’s breath caught in her throat as she slowly opened her eyes. Troy’s broad back was in front of her. His white shirt was smeared with paint like everyone else. “You don’t wanna mess with her,” he was saying to the men who were about to attack her with their embrace a few seconds about.

One of them held up his hands in surrender and they backed off saying, “It’s cool, man.” And then they were off to take their free-paint-free-hug attack somewhere.

Dannie slowly let go of her breath in relief.

Troy turned around to look down at her with a serious look on his face, one she rarely saw. His brows were furrowed to a line and his jaw twitched. “What the hell are you doing here alone? Where are the others? Do you know what could happen if you walk this street alone? You’re lucky those guys were cool and were just having harmless fun. What would you have done if they were some psycho who—”

He stopped talking when she broke eye contact and bent her head down.

His large camera was hanging around his neck. He let out an angry sigh and placed his hands on his hips as he calmed himself down. “Forget it. Let’s go.”

His hand, which was covered with dried yellow and blue paint, grabbed hers. He gently gave it a tug and led her down the street. He fought more onslaughts of paint attackers with his other hand while his other was holding hers. “She’s allergic to paint!” he even shouted when a persistent male attacker kept chasing them. “She’s having an allergic reaction and I’m taking her to the hospital!” he added when the man did not back off. That did the trick and the guy walked off crying, “Why come here if she’s allergic?!”

Troy’s hand gripped hers strongly and fought their way out of the crowd and to one side of the street where a kiosk was standing, selling drinks.

“You okay?” he asked in a low voice as they stood beside the kiosk away from the crowd.

Dannie just nodded.

“Where the hell are the others?” he asked no one in particular as he fished for his phone inside his pocket. “They shouldn’t have left you behind like that,” he muttered as he started tapping with his thumb. His other hand was still holding hers like a leash.

“I was lost,” she murmured.

“What?” he absently asked, his brows frowning down his phone.

“I was lost. I didn’t mean to happen. They were there in front of me and the next thing I knew a bunch of teens came up to me and attacked me. I tried to find them but they were gone by then and then there were more people coming up to me with paints and I was alone and then those guys—” Her eyes had started to water. What was happening to her? Why was she crying? She didn’t feel that lost a few minutes ago. But where were all these emotions coming from?

Troy had stopped whatever he was doing with his phone and was looking down at her with concern. “Danica,” he started but did not continue as she sniffled a cry. She heard his frustrated breath before she found herself in his arms. “It’s okay. I’m sorry about what I said. Nothing could have happened to you. People are just having fun here, okay? You are safe.”

“I was lost.”

“Yes, I know. Stop crying. It’s okay.”

But the more he comforted her and the more he soothed her, the more tears flowed out.

He finally leaned away to look at her but his arms kept their hold around her. His chin touched his throat as he looked down and he asked,” What are you crying about?”

“You have been avoiding me.” The words came rushing out before she could stop them. She held her gaze locked on his paint-stained shirt, holding her breath. Another tear fell from her eyes.

“What?” he asked again, this time his voice gentle. The Troy Brady kind of gentle.

“Ever since you dropped me off at church after Christmas. You never showed up after that.”

“Dannie—”

“It’s okay. I’m okay. I just thought I’d want to spend more time with you and our friends before I go back to the convent. I don’t know how long I’d have to be gone again and I just want to spend more time with you guys. I just…I think I am not just used to you treating me like I’m not there.” She pushed away from him and maintained a good distance between them. “Can’t we just go back to the way things were before last year? Can we just be friends again and fight and piss each other off?”

His face was blank and she didn’t know how to read it. He was one of the few people she knew who couldn’t keep their emotions from showing on their faces but now he was just staring down at her with that blank expression. She looked away and stared at the crowd.

“I think I am ready to dive back in that river of hands and paints,” she said.

“Danica,” he started and she looked up to him expectantly, forcing a smile on her face. He was frowning. “You know I’m doing my best, right?”

“By staying away?”

“By dealing with this thing on my own. That’s different.”

She smiled at him. “I know this is selfish but can you deal with it after the wedding?”

“What?”

“As I’ve said, I want to spend more time with my friends. You are the only family I know and I want to just spend more time with all of you before I go back after the wedding without this awkwardness between us. But if you want to keep the distance, I’ll try to deal with that. I can’t force you to do what you don’t want to do.” How ironic, she thought.

He opened his mouth to say something but he chose not to. Slowly, he nodded and shrugged. He smiled at her but it did that reach his eyes. “Well, then, let’s go find our friends, my friend.”

Troy took her hand in his and she let him lead her through the crowd of face-painted people again.

*****

“You look tired, Danica. Let me drive,” Troy was saying. Everyone was still coated with paint and none of them even bothered to wash up when they decided it was time to go home. It was a nightmare for us vehicles!

Yes, let him drive, Danny baby! I urged. She looked like hell and I didn’t want to have another accident on the road. Paint smear on my seats would be better than a wrecked bumper or worse!

“What about Tata?”

You can leave her here like you left me last New Year! I shouted. Tata almost fumed out her exhaust at me. Just joking, girl. Don’t be overdramatic.

“I’ll drive,” Lee offered, his hand in the air, ready to take Tata’s keys.

Without a hint of hesitation, Troy threw the set of keys to Lee and walked toward me. “The keys, Danica,” he ordered.

Dannie baby hesitated.

“Just give him the keys, Dannie,” George said, already climbing inside Vicky, Jordan already behind the wheel.

“We’ll be more at ease knowing Troy’s driving. You look like you’ve been to war,” Jackie added, her head popping out of Beatle’s open window.

Troy’s brows were raised, his palm up and waiting for Dannie to give him the keys to my engines. Dannie finally sighed and dropped the keys in his hand.

“Just so you know, I’ve really been to war,” Dannie said to Jackie. “After you guys left me behind to get lost.”

“We’re sorry!” Jackie said with a grin. “We won’t do it again, I promise.”

Dannie rolled her eyes with a smile and walked to climb inside my passenger seat as Troy adjusted himself behind my wheels. Man, I forgot how big you are!

“We’ll go right ahead,” said Miguel, climbing inside Tata to join Lee.

They were followed by Beatle and then Vicky. Troy honked to say goodbye to his friend who was already back inside his home and we were back on the road.

Don’t you dare throw a splatter at me! I shouted at almost everyone with a can of paint in their hands as we passed by them on the street.

“Take a nap, Danica,” Troy ordered as we were leaving Cadiz. “It’s going to be a long drive.”

“I’m okay.”

“Suit yourself,” he said. And before we knew it, she was snoozing against my headrest five minutes out of the city.

Troy kept throwing glances at her sleeping form and I’d pay for what he had in mind. What are you thinking, my boy?

He did not drive me as fast as he would Tata and he was exaggeratingly very careful when we encountered humps on the road. She won’t break because of a freaking hump, man!

It was not for long before the others were out of sight and we were leisurely driving down the road with Dannie baby deep in sleep.

I was surprised when Troy guided me to the side of the road and we stopped.

What now? What’s wrong?

Troy turned to look at Dannie, his face looking like a man who had to take a difficult Calculus test. Dannie had not stirred even when we had stopped moving.

My boys just watched her sleep for a few quiet minutes. He kept reaching out with his still paint-stained hand to lift her hair away from her face in an awkward kind of way so he didn’t have to make skin contact and wake her up.

What are you thinking, my boy? I asked.

His eyes told me he was in deep thought and it was very rare for me to see Troy Brady thinking.

“The hell with it,” he finally muttered in haste as he put me back in gear.

What the—where are we going, Troy? I asked, my engines quivering with anxiety.

He did not guide me back to the same direction as we were taking before. The others were on their way south back to Bacolod. That was where we should be heading too!

But we were on our way north to…Troy, where are we going, buddy? Surely you know this is the wrong way, right? This side of the road will take us to Sagay, not Bacolod! Is this another kidnapping? It is, isn’t it? Come on, tell me what you are planning to do!

“I’m taking my last chance,” he muttered to himself as he stepped on my gas toward north, putting a growing distance between us and home.