A piece of the past...

College was good to her. As a matter of fact, things went well from the moment she left home.

Though she may have had more responsibilities than her friends, she was not against it. She liked helping the sisters when they needed help. She joined their activities, those that she was allowed to participate it. They had also taken her to different places around the country whenever they had to do some work. At school, her friends were her family. At home, she had more than that. She had the sisters and she had God.

College may have been good, but it was also challenging. There were papers to finish, projects and exams to pass, activities to attend and friends who were fun but distracting at the same time.

Lee, Miguel and Troy were one of those friends. They had been a constant itch in Dannie, George and Jackie's lives. But they were the kind of nuisance that the girls welcomed and even missed sometimes. The girls did some of their papers for them and though they all took different courses, they would often find ways to be able to get together.

Dannie found herself enjoying some of the things college life had offered as well. She went to bars and clubs with her friends. She had had her first beer with them.

Sometimes, she would find herself being alone with Troy. He would always insist to take her home because no one else would dare answer the sisters' questions why she did not go home as promised. And in those times that they were alone, their bantering would lessen. They would revert to a different kind of relationship that they never showed their friends whenever they were together with them. It was as if they kept that healthy side of their friendship from everyone in a mutual way. And it was during those moments that she was alone with them that she could get a glimpse of who Troy Brady really was without the goofy boy façade. It was during those moments as well that she would find herself seeing him as a man, not as a friend. And it was during those times that she would consider that maybe, just maybe, she would like someone like him in her life to stay for good.

But then reality would always strike back. No man would want her after they learned of her past.

So Troy Brady stayed as her friend for a very long time. Nothing more, nothing less.

PRESENT DAY

We drove the couple to their hotel. I was not really used to being a bridal car, since it was my first time, but I was pretty certain it was unusual to have your two best friends drive you and your husband to your hotel after the wedding.

Though no one questioned the situation, I knew everyone else was thinking the same thing except the bride and groom who seemed oblivious of the situation.

Jackie girl drove me while Dannie baby rode shotgun. She had been very silent since we left The Ruins and I didn't really think much about it. Maybe the wedding gave her some things to ponder as a wedding always would to those who attended one.

"You know, I just realized that we did not throw the bouquet," Georgie said when they finally managed to climb out of me.

"And the garter," Jordan added, yawning as he said so.

"Well, I know who I'd like to give it to," Georgie said, smiling at Jackie.

Jackie girl beamed widely as she held out her hand to receive the bouquet from Georgie. "Don't worry, I'll tell Dean I caught it because Dannie wouldn't. Should I also give him the garter?" she asked Jordan.

The guy laughed and fished for the garter from his pocket and threw it toward Dannie baby. She gaped at him wide eyed. "What would I do with this?"

Jordan just shrugged. "Do whatever you want with it. It can be a very good headband," he said with a wink. "Shall we go?" he asked Georgie who turned to her friends to give them both a hug.

"Thank you so much for everything, you two. Are you sure you are going to be alright driving home alone?"

"Of course!" Dannie baby and Jackie girl said in unison, shooing the couple away. "Enjoy Machu Picchu!" Jackie added as the couple entered the hotel.

And as if she forgot something REALLY important, Georgie stopped and ran back toward us and threw her hand around me—well, as much as she could anyway.

Aww, Georgie, please don't make me cry.

"I will miss you so much, Toto. Thank you for taking me to my wedding," she whispered.

"Okay, wife, I think this getting a bit creepy," Jordan jested from a few feet away.

Shut up, Ledesma! I cried out as I relished on Georgie's hug. She finally stepped back and gave Jackie and Dannie one more hug . "You sure you're okay driving home?" she asked them again.

"Of course, George," Jackie said dryly.

"We'll see you tomorrow, okay? We'll go to the airport," Dannie said.

Georgie nodded and walked back to her husband.

Five minutes later, we were driving back to the apartment in utter silence. Until Jackie spoke and broke the silence. "Oh gosh, I don't think I'm okay."

Dannie was already choking in her words as she said, "Me too."

Oh, my boys, me too! Jackie girl, pull over. I wanna cry for a minute, please.

She did just that as if she heard me. And she and Dannie cried together. And I did too. I think the three of us were afraid to go home just yet. We'd be going back to the apartment knowing Georgie would be coming back there only as a guest. I had never seen what the three of them did inside that place, but I heard stories of their lives there. It had been their place for years and now one room was vacant. For a moment, I felt the great impact of the changes in their lives.

Would we ever get used to this?

*****

Dannie and Jackie entered the apartment and burst out in tears again. Everything inside the place had a lot of George's imprint on them. He had done most of their wall paintings, their photo frames, fixed their plumbing and even the door locks.

"She never got to fix the chair. She told me last week she'd fix it," Jackie sobbed, dropping on the carpet floor in her gown and heels. Dannie joined her and they hugged each other for comfort.

"You're saying stuff as if she died. Stop it." She shook Jackie as she said it. "She's just gone away to another home in the same city."

"But she'd have her hand full. She has other priorities now. And when do we get to see her? Do we still go to Art? Would she still be able to fix our faucets or even Toto?"

Dannie didn't have any answer to that. She didn't want to think about those things when she was not even sure if she was staying here for good.

Minutes later, they were lying on the carpet without any desire to change their clothes. Jackie had fallen asleep, crying. Dannie, on the other hand, couldn't.

Things had been running around her mind since they left the party.

During the wedding, a thought came to her mind. Had her parents been through a wedding with as much love as George and Jordan? Had they ever planned on doing the things they did when they gave their vows?

Wondering about those things was pointless, she thought. They did what they did and no one could change that, not even her. And that was probably the reason why she couldn't forgive them until now.

Yes, she could not forgive her them. She just couldn't. Not for now, Dannie thought.

Admitting that fact to herself gave her relief. She couldn't forgive her parents, especially her mother, now. Maybe if time would permit it, she'd eventually learn to do so, but not now. She couldn't find it in her heart no matter how much she wanted to. She had the will, but she had been damaged in more ways than one to easily do what she wanted.

She was just human, after all. And humans could harbor hate as much as they could harbor love. It was just a matter of which you valued the most. The hate and the pain were still there, yet she chose to ignore them and focus on things that she wanted in her life right now. The dark part of her would be a constant presence. She had learned to ignore it for years but she never learned to embrace its presence. Now she was ready to do that because it was a part of her. She was who she was because of it. But it would not live her life for her.

She remembered what Stephanie had told her in Dumaguete and agreed with the lady. She'd lock the pain and hatred at the darkest corners of her heart and keep the key instead of throwing it away.

Her temporary phone beeped, indicating a text message. She took it from her handbag.

It was Troy.

Troy: Still awake?

She just stared at the message for a while before she decided to send a reply.

Dannie: No.

She smiled when his reply came fast.

Troy: Funny, Danica. Why are you still up?

Dannie: Because someone just texted me and I have to reply. I don't want to be rude.

Troy: Are you okay?

Dannie: Why are you asking?

Troy: George got married. I'm sure you boys are sort of brokenhearted.

Dannie: Jackie cried herself to sleep on the carpet floor.

Troy: Don't tell her I slept there drunk last time.

Dannie: Why are you still up?

Troy: About to go to sleep. Just wanted to make sure you're okay.

Dannie: I'm fine.

Troy: Then why are you not sleeping?

Dannie: Because you keep on texting.

Instead of a text reply, her phone rang in her hand. She rolled her eyes though she couldn't keep herself from smiling. She hastily stood up and walked out of the apartment to answer the call. She didn't want to wake Jackie. Her friend would just start crying again.

"Why did you call?" she asked as greeting when she answered Troy's call.

"You said I keep on texting so I called." He sounded tired and Dannie wondered why he was still up.

"You did not go out with Lee and Miguel? I heard they were planning to go out tonight," she asked casually, sitting on the chair right beside the front door.

"I'm tired. Can't you hear my voice? I'm tired."

"Yeah, I can very well tell. Then get some sleep."

"I can't."

Dannie was almost afraid to ask why. "Why?" she asked anyway.

There was a pause from his end. "You know why," he answered with a husky chuckle. "Don't press it, Danica. You may not like my answer."

"I am not pressing. You're the one who called."

"Why are you still up?" he asked again.

"You know why."

"No, I honestly don't."

"Because you called." He did not answer. And when she thought he had fallen asleep, she said, "Troy."

"Yeah?"

"Are you playing a game with me? What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Then why the sudden call?"

"You know the answer to that."

This time, it was her turn to keep quiet.

She heard him sigh. "It's just that you're still the one I think of when I am not busy on something and even when I am, you still cross my mind."

"I thought you already decided to like step back or something."

"You can't possibly expect me to do that every freaking time, right?" he asked with bitterness. "Like cancer patients or drug addicts, I also get a relapse."

Dannie chuckled. "What a pun."

"A good pun. Women usually find it romantic."

"To be compared to an incurable disease and drugs? No, not really romantic."

He gave another sigh. "What have you been doing awake? You said Jackie's already asleep," he asked, changing the subject.

"Thinking," she answered. She heard some plastic being ripped or moved from his head. "What are you doing?"

"I'm eating. Thinking about what?"

"Stuff about my past. What are you eating?"

He was munching something now. "Piatos. About your past? What about it?" His voice had turned grim at the last question.

"It's nothing. Just stuff that I've been thinking about lately. What flavor?"

"Cheese," he answered then grew quiet. "Do you want me to come over?" he asked after a few seconds.

"No, I'm fine. I am not even crying about it. I just had to decide on something."

She heard him gulp. "Decide?"

Dannie nodded. "Yes. I decided to finally face her and talk to her."

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