A piece of the past...

"Brady, give it back!" Dannie cried after him.

"No way!" he said, looking over his shoulder. He held up his hand and did a fanning motion with the photo he just stole from her. "I'll use this to scare the rats from home!"

"Brady!" she indignantly cried out.

"Just let it go, Dannie," George said dryly. "It's just one photo."

"Yeah, and he took one from us a while ago." Jackie said, looking at her own set of photos. Their graduation shots just came and Brady stole one from each of them.

Graduation day was approaching and she wondered if she'd ever step into college.

PRESENT DAY

A very long moment passed in silence. The only proof that time did not freeze on its own was the rustling sound of the sugarcane leaves. And my own whirring engine, of course. There was stillness between the two of them that I almost thought they were having a telepathic communication going on there.

Troy was looking at Dannie baby's eyes. I was really praying he wouldn't kiss her because that would be very gross considering what came out of his mouth just a few minutes ago. They stayed like that for a long time but Dannie baby broke the spell. Her eyes blinked and she stepped away from Troy's embrace.

"Danica..." Troy stuttered. She held up her hand.

"Forget what I just said. It was nothing," she hurriedly said. "It was nothing. Just...just forget it. Let's go."

Honestly, I expected Troy to transform into his usual excited self. I expected him to jump with joy at the thought that Dannie baby was confused. He had a chance, right? Just a bit more pushing and pulling and he'd have his happy ending. What he did next surprised me though. He just stared at her and nodded his head.

What the hell is wrong with you? Shouldn't you talk about it more? You know, dig a bit further and urge her to confess or something?

Dannie baby almost ran to my side and sat behind the steering wheel, gripping it tightly with both hands. I could feel the rush of blood through her fingers. She took a deep breath and shook her head. Troy followed, climbing inside the passenger seat without a word. He stole a look at her before he leaned his head back to rest on my seat.

You know, this could very well be your true last chance and you blew it away. She might be back to her old self in no time and you will not get another chance.

The drive back home was tiring as hell. And should I say dangerous? The road was okay by construction but we had to go through some zigzags. Dannie baby was a good driver though so I knew we were safe. The last time I went through this road, Georgie almost threw us off a cliff, that accident-prone lady!

Troy slept for at least an hour or so. When he woke up, he told Dannie baby they should swap and she should get some rest. She said no, of course. He might be a good driver, but he did drink back in Dumaguete, right?

By the time we reached Bacolod, it was almost midnight.

And by the time we reached the apartment, Jackie and Georgie were already standing by the doorway, their arms crossed over their chests and their eyes darting toward Troy.

"Let me explain—" Troy started in a tired voice.

"We don't want your explanations. The two of you, get inside," Georgie ordered before turning around to go back inside the apartment.

Jackie made a motion of slicing her neck with her finger as she looked at Troy.

Troy just rolled his eyes and allowed Dannie baby to enter the apartment first. Jackie slapped his arm before pushing him inside and closed the door behind them.

There went my evening drama marathon, I uttered to myself.

*****

Troy had to go home. There was no question there. George was a bit disappointed that they got home so late. After a lot of scolding and more apologies from Troy, he was released to go home.

"I'll get going," he said to Dannie, standing up.

"You can sleep here—" she began but Jackie cut in saying, "No, he's going home because we have a lot to talk about."

"Okay," Dannie nodded and gave Troy a nod. He left and George immediately locked the door.

"What the hell happened?" Jackie asked, her voice etched with a bit of excitement which she immediately erased by clearing her throat and repeating, "What the hell happened, Dannie?"

"We told you what happened. And we've been on the phone with you guys while we were there. Nothing really happened," Dannie insisted.

George crossed her arms across her chest and looked down at her. "I know that look. Something happened."

Jackie's eyes widened and she could no longer contain her excitement. "Oh my God. Something really happened?"

Dannie was never a good liar, especially in front of her two friends. "It's nothing, really." She started to get up from the chair she was sitting on but George held up her hand and motioned for her to sit back.

"We're not done yet. Do you know how worried we were? You said you were on your way home but you got here almost midnight!"

She frowned. "That's why we answered your calls. We called whenever we could. And I thought you guys were cool with it after Troy talked to you? I was cool with it, wasn't I?"

George and Jackie looked surprised. Her voice rose in pitch as she talked. Dannie was surprised as well at how she sounded.

"We're just saying...you could have just—" George said but did not continue. "Forget it. This is all Troy's fault anyway. You were just dragged into—"

"I had let him take me there. I agreed to his plan. It was not his fault so why were you being hard on him?" This time, she stood up, her voice shaking. She could feel blood rushing up her face and it was a rare feeling for her. "I came on my own, okay? So just give it a rest!"

George looked shock and Jackie's mouth fell open.

She almost ran toward her room and almost slammed the door behind her. The tears automatically fell from her eyes as she blindly made her way to her bed and curled up in a ball. She wanted to hide under the covers and remain in the darkness until she was brave enough to face what was outside her door.

Her two friends, the only people who had been with her for the longest time, were outside and she just yelled at them in anger. Outside were the people she cared for and hated the most—Jackie. George. The sisters. The children. Troy. Her mother. Her father.

She closed her eyes as hard as she could as if the darkness of the room was not enough. She wanted them to go away. The memories and the feelings that came with them. She wanted them to be gone. They had been lingering inside her for too long. It was time for them to go away! But why couldn't they?

"Why?" she whispered brokenly.

*****

"Dannie," Jackie's voice said outside the door.

She opened her eyes. She didn't know how long she had been sleeping—or if she had been sleeping at all.

When Jackie spoke again, her voice was just a few inches away from her.

Dannie shot up in bed in surprise. "Jackie! What are you doing here? You almost gave me a heart attack!" She wanted to tell her friend that she was shaking. For normal people, having your bedroom invaded by friends in secret was okay. But for her, any kind of surprise invasion made her jumpy. Ten years ago, she would have dropped down in a panic attack. Though she had managed them well through the years, such things still unnerved her.

"Well, I'm sorry, but we need to talk. We hope you're done crying."

And at the mention of we, George came in looking all worried.

Dannie sighed. "What time is it?"

"Time to talk," Jackie uttered in reply.

"I'm serious."

"Almost two," George answered.

"PM?"

"Am."

"You woke me up at this hour because of what happened earlier, right? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout at—"

"You can shout all you want. You can cry all you want," George cut in, gripping her arm with her hand. "In fact, that's what we want you to do." George's powerful gaze held hers.

"We want you to tell us everything that's bothering you. We want to know what's going on inside your head. You know we care so much for you. We don't want you to get hurt or confused. We want you to be okay," Jackie said, her eyes already brimming with tears.

Dannie was about to open her mouth to say she was okay—that she was doing just fine. But she couldn't do it.

"You're holding a lot of things inside you. We're your friends and we know you're having a tough time. Let us help you. We can listen. We don't have to say anything if you don't want us to. But just say something—anything," George almost begged her.

"I don't want to ruin the wedding. I don't want to—"

"The wedding's not about you," Jackie answered. "It will happen and it is happening. But we can't just ignore you just because we have plans."

"Fuck the wedding," George said. "It can happen anytime, anywhere. And you're one of the bridesmaids, remember?"

"The entourage will be better if we know that everyone walking down the aisle is okay. And as we can see, you're not okay," Jackie added. "Dannie, just say something. What are you thinking of?"

Dannie closed her eyes, trying to fight the tears. But they came anyway. She hastily brushed the one that ran down her cheek. "That's the problem. I don't know what I am thinking. I...I don't know what I want."

She repeated the same words she told Troy that evening.

"I don't know what I want."

Her friends were quiet for a while, probably mentally composing their own sentences.

"You're confused," Jackie said with certainty.

"Okay, I think it's about time someone says this," George finally said when Dannie kept her silence. "Dannie, do you really want to be a nun because you want to or you have to?"

Dannie looked at George, barely seeing her friend's face in the darkness of her room. She was confused with her friend's question.

"Let me rephrase it: Do you really want to be a nun because it is your choice or because you have no other choice?"

"What?" she asked despite knowing what George was really asking. It was the very same question she had been avoiding to answer herself.

"If your answer is the first, then we won't stop you from going back in the convent. But if it is the latter, you know you're making things harder for you," George added gently.

"Dannie, I have to agree with George," Jackie spoke, taking her hand in hers. "We want you to know happiness and if you are trying to avoid the possibility of having that because of your own fears by locking yourself in a convent, we don't think you'll ever be happy."

"If entering the convent is your way to escape from the bad things, you're also escaping from the best possible things that can happen to you as well. You're locking us and everything else out not because it is what you want but because you are afraid," George said.

Dannie opened her mouth to object but thought not to say anything and closed it once more.

"Or maybe it is also your way of punishing yourself," George added slowly.

Dannie's head snapped at her friend's words. The tears started to flow once again and her shoulders started to shake.

"Was I right?" George asked. Jackie gasped beside her.

"Dannie, you did not do anything wrong," Jackie said.

"I can't forgive her," she gasped in between tears. "I don't think I can ever forgive them for what they did...I know it's wrong for me to feel this way after many years. But I still hate them!" The pain was too much now and she clenched her fist over her heart. The tingling current of pain radiated throughout her body and she started to shake. George's arms circled her, as did Jackie's.

The three of them sat on her bed, crying for her pain.

*****

"What time is it?" Dannie asked later. The three of them were sitting across her bed, their backs on the wall and their legs stretched out before them. Dannie was at the center, George and Jackie at both sides. They were looking at nothing in particular at the wall across from them, their gazes blank—almost in a trance.

"It's time for us to sleep," Jackie answered tiredly.

"What do you plan to do?" asked George.

"I need to sort myself out first, I guess," she answered. "I don't know a lot of things anymore."

Jackie took her hand and squeezed it. "We're here for you."

"No pressure, Dannie. Don't put yourself in a lot of pressure. No one is expecting you to do the right thing here. But we do expect you to be happy with what you do," George told her.

She nodded her head and smiled. "Thanks. I'll try."

*****

Troy was back the very next morning. The apartment was quiet so I figured the boys were still sleeping. What the hell was he doing here at this time of day?

Hey, Tata, what's wrong with him?

My friend said he had been restless since last night. He woke up very early and had been coming in and out of the garage since four in the morning until he finally decided to drive to the apartment at six.

Great. Just when I thought I had enough drama yesterday, I said dryly.

Troy just stood outside the apartment without knocking on the door. And he stayed like that for five or so minutes.

And then the lady appeared.

My engine almost started on its own. Oh my gas! No, not again...please!

Troy identified her as fast as I did. He turned around to face her even before she saw him. She stopped in her tracks and Troy walked the remaining distance between them.

Oh holy gases...

I had to admit. It was going to be a very interesting encounter.