A piece of the past...

"Stop it, Brady!" Dannie shouted at him, surprising everyone in the bus. They were on an out-of-town trip for a school activity and he could not leave her alone.

Jackie and George were already on their feet, reaching for his shirt as the bus rolled down the road back to Bacolod. "Stop it!" George shouted at him, finally managing to grab enough of his shirt to pull him toward her that half of his body was over the backseat. Lee and Miguel pulled him back by the back of his shirt.

"Ow, ow, ow...George! Let go!" he said, choking and grabbing George's hand.

"We told you to stop pissing Dannie off!" Jackie said with frustration as she grabbed a handful of his hair and tugged. "Say you'll never talk to her again!"

"What? No way-" the two girls pulled with their hands and he yelled, "Okay! Okay! Let go! Let go!"

"Let go of him, boys!" Miguel ordered.

"Just let him go!" Lee added, looking over his shoulder. "The teacher will see us!"

"I don't care!" George shouted, pushing Troy back toward Lee and Miguel with full force. She then lifted one finger in front of him and said, "One more prank on Dannie and you're dead. You're going to be the first mummy to be displayed in the Negros Museum."

"Gosh, George, calm down. It was just a freaking joke!" Troy whined, secretly throwing Dannie a glance. She was no longer paying attention to whatever was happening around her. Her eyes were fixed on the side of the road, looking at the passing sugarcane plantation. She was once again lost in her own world. "Fine. Whatever. Just forget about it if you don't know how to have fun." He returned to his seat, pulling Lee and Miguel with him.

PRESENT DAY

But that almost-wonderful feeling did not linger for long because when Troy started moving his lips against hers, deepening the kiss, a wall came crashing inside her mind and the memories from her past came crashing down on her that even the comfort of being in Troy's arms dissipated into tiny particles. The coldness of the water came up her spine and she froze.

And the moment he felt it, he stopped and stepped back.

Dannie's eyes were wide with disbelief and tears. His were wary.

"Danica, I'm-"

Dannie did her best to keep calm and push him as gently as she could. She stepped away and struggled with the current back to the riverbank. She could feel his presence behind her, guarding her steps, but he did not touch her. He knew her enough to try to touch her at that point. She scrambled back on dry land, found her slippers and hastily climbed the stairs back to the streets above. Troy lagged behind for a few seconds as he gathered his camera and other things.

"Danica!" he called after her a while later.

Her steps had slowed down due to exhaustion. The steps back up were not easy, but she had to go back to where Toto was. She had to get go back to the resort as fast as she could.

She wiped away tears with her hands, conscious not to touch her lips. She felt like she should not touch it for reasons she could not understand. A whimper escaped from her when she finally reached the top. The back of her hand wiped more tears as her feet carried her across the street to where Toto was parked, Troy not far behind her.

*****

My 'HOLY GAS MOMENT' came when our tour was nearly over.

We went to the famous balete tree which had been living for centuries. Troy took a lot of pictures and Dannie enjoyed the free fish foot spa with the gentle heat of the sun kissing our skin. Well, my metallic skin. They had silently made up. I knew they silently fought. I had sensed it earlier. It was kind of fun, driving around and it was easy to forget the problems that we had left behind in Bacolod.

After the balete tree, they went to do the famous Tarzan Jump at one of the famous waterfalls there only I didn't witness that because I was parked across the street. I couldn't climb down the steps toward the place so it was only natural that the car be parked. I could only imagine what the two of them did there, but I didn't have to have such a wild imagination to know.

But I was wrong. What happened there was the HOLY GAS MOMENT I was talking about. I didn't know about it until they came back to me.

I was innocently waiting for them while watching the coconut vendor beside the street opening a coconut for himself when they got back, both dripping wet, and Dannie baby was crying. The two of them had always been Tom and Jerry so fighting and making up was part of their relationship. BUT Dannie rarely cried during those useless fights unless it was something serious. So what the hell happened?

Wait, wait, wait! You're both wet! Come on, guys! My seats! My precious seats!

No one had ever listened to me but I had to try, right? My precious seats!

She ran the remaining steps toward me and Troy caught up with her and blocked her entrance to my door. He made a move to touch her but stopped when she took a step back, her body going statue-rigid.

Uh...guys, care to tell me what happened? Brady, why is my Dannie baby crying?

"I'm sorry, Danica. I'm really sorry," Troy said in a low voice.

Dannie baby was shaking, her hands balled into fists at her sides.

"Danica, I'm sorry you feel terrible. But," he swallowed as he stood his ground and continued, "but I'm not sorry about the kiss."

My eyeballs went crazy and my exhaust almost went Majimbo-crazy. HOLY GAS, BRADY! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?! I'M GONNA KILL YOU TEN TIMES!!!

*****

"Danica," Troy called out to her but she did not stop walking. She had kept her silence during their drive back to the resort and she immediately hopped out of Toto the moment he turned off the engine.

Desperate to be alone, she walked to the direction of the farthest part of the resort. Troy did not follow her and she was at least thankful for that. She burst out in tears once more as she remembered what she had let happen back in that waterfall. It should not have happened. She should not have let it happen.

Dannie was not angry at Troy. She was angrier at herself. He was driven with his own emotions and his feelings for her. He had always been motivated by his passion for things. The one who should have had the presence of mind was her.

This trip is a bad idea from the very start, she thought, wiping away tears. She faced the sea and the looked at the horizon. The sun was starting to set and her tears were blurring her vision of the sky's gradation.

As she sat on the sand, looking out into nothing, Dannie tried to calm herself. Her body's reaction earlier should have proven that she was not capable of loving Troy or any other men the way she may have wanted to. The kiss might have started good, but she was not able to control the memories from creeping in and shatter that moment.

She shook her head. That kiss should not have happened in the first place. It was a great betrayal to her vows. The feeling of guilt washed over her once more and she sobbed, burying her face in her arms as she hugged her legs closer to her chests. Her shirt was still damp and she wanted to go back to their room and change. But Troy was there. How could she face him? What should she say?

She was a whirlwind of different emotions. The thought that her friendship with Troy had finally met its doom was not helping either. But then, maybe this was meant to be. Maybe it would be easier for the both of them to deal with. She was familiar with pain. She could deal with that.

But what about Troy? Would it be easier for him if he just thought she felt indifferent about the kiss? She was guilty about it, but it was not close to indifference.

Why couldn't she be like any normal girls? Why couldn't she just know her own mind and heart? Why did everything have to be complicated?

The sudden urge to go drive back to Bacolod and enter the convent hit her. She'd be safe there. There would be rules. There would be routines to help her with her daily life. There won't be any Troy Brady to confuse her and keep her head spinning and her heart racing. There would be peace.

*****

I was angry as hell. I trusted that bastard and he did not only disappoint me, he betrayed me!

I should have stayed on my initial impression of him: he was nothing but a player who only went for what he wanted without care of the consequences!

And now he was walking toward me looking all worried. He should be! Because I was about ready to bring abomination upon him and his sorry Fil-Am ass! He would be Brady to me again. We could never be on a first-name-basis kind of relationship ever again! I swore that in the name of all Volkswagen who came upon this world!

Don't you even dare touch me, Brady! I warned as he walked closer, phone in hand. Don't touch me!!! I shouted when he leaned against my hood as he dialed a number.

"Lee, I have a problem," he uttered the moment his friend picked up the call. "Yes, it's about Danica. I think I made a very terrible mistake." He pushed away from me and started pacing. "I think she hates me now. I am so stupid!"

Did you just figure that out?!

"I kissed her. I kissed her and scared her away." I could hear Lee's cry from the other line and I thought I heard the very word I wanted to shout at Brady: MORON! "I know! But I...it just happened, okay? I was so happy and so in that moment that I...I don't know what got into me," he finished with exasperation. "What do you think I should do?" He listened to Lee's words and he started to shake his head. "I am not telling the boys what I did! Are you crazy? Do you want me dead?" Lee said more and Brady stopped pacing. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes, probably fighting off a headache. He deserved more than a headache, the moron! "Yeah, I think that's what I should do. I don't want her to think the worst of me."

You deserve it if she does, you twit!

"Yeah, I'll do it."

*****

Dannie finally composed herself and braved the unavoidable. She had to go back to their room and face Troy.

The prayer she had silently said earlier during her walk back must have been heard because Troy was already waiting for her at the balcony. He slowly stood up and met her ascent. Their eyes met and he said, "I think it's best if we go home."

Dannie was quite startled that he suggested it. Though she had prayed for it, she did not expect him to initiate it. He did not look sad or remorseful. Sure, he looked worried. But he was not happy either. And that brought a pang in her chest. She was the main reason for the Troy Brady standing before her. This was not him. She wished she could tell him that. She wished she could say he had to do his best to move on and live his life like he used to years before-be the Troy Brady she once knew.

But they were both dealing with things neither of them wanted to discuss at that moment so she just nodded and walked inside their room. She stopped before closing the door. "What time are we leaving?" she asked.

"The first trip out of the island."

She nodded and closed the door, leaving him to stand alone in the balcony. She had to clean herself up and then maybe the memories of her past would be washed away as well.

*****

The next morning, I was only happy to leave the island. I wanted to go back to Bacolod as fast we could. But before that could happen, I had to endure Brady's feet on my pedals and his hands on my steering wheel. I had to bear his unbelievable weight on my seats. I had to tolerate his very smell, his very shadow. I was in hell-or hell was in me, whichever way it was.

The trip back to Larena was very quiet. Brady's usual comic relief whenever things went awkward was gone. There was just silence. Dannie was lost in her own world. Brady was unbelievably too focused on driving me insane down the road.

I said goodbye to the beautiful island with a promise that the next time I came back, I'd be having the best time of my life without the drama and other stupid things humans tend to love to do.

I didn't know who started talking because I was not really paying attention as I was trying to revert into my own engine world where there were no human complications. Before I knew it, Troy was talking to Dannie about why the trip was a mistake from the very beginning.

"I was hoping it would have at least given me the chance I wanted but I blew it all up. I am sorry for that."

"But you're not sorry you kissed me."

Okay, I had to admit that it took my engines to a complete halt. Well, I was on halt because I was on the barge and my engines were off. Neither of them got off to go up the deck with the other passengers. And Brady was also shocked.

Dannie baby, why do you have to bring that up? It makes me sick to my engines! I want to vomit gas right now! If only my wipers could erase the picture out of my metallic brains...

"Yes, I'm not," Brady said with a sigh. He then turned his head to look at her as she stared straight through my windshield (trust me, there was no good sight there), "Because that might just be the very last kiss I'd get to share with you 100%. It was one of the very few moments I got to relish 100%. No cameras to distract me or capture it. It's all stored in organic memory." He tapped his temple with his finger as he said it.

Dannie baby did not say a word for quite a while and when she did, her words struck me. "I feel guilty, Troy. I don't think I should be, but I am terribly guilty." Her voice started to break again and my engines almost crumbled down with her. Her lips shook as she wiped the tears off her face, her head pointing straight forward. I knew Brady wanted to reach out for her but he was keeping his distance. Yeah, keep those hands to yourself, Brady! "I have decided to live my life for the Lord and the moment I got out of the convent, I kissed a man. How could I live up to the standards set for me?"

Brady closed his eyes and leaned back against my seat. He took a lungful of air and slowly let it out. "So I am just the other guy after all," he quietly said. Dannie sniffed and fought back a whimper. I hated to admit it, because I hated Brady at that moment, but I wanted to cry with them too. The pain they both felt was just immensely excruciating for me to witness.

Why do humans have to feel a lot of complicated feelings? Why do you live your lives with sets of standards that cannot justify a lot of things such as your happiness? Why does happiness have to be that difficult to achieve? I asked my questions aloud. As someone who had been the prime witness of the boys' lives, I wanted to give them a piece of my metallic, awesome mind.

I wanted to tell them that the only things that had been keeping them away from their dreams and their happiness were their very own selves and how they thought of those around them. Jackie had almost lost Dean because of her own fears and lies. She thought less of Dean, judging what he would do before he even found out the truth of what she had done. Georgie was too consumed by her own freedom and prejudice toward her own family that she nearly let go of the man capable of loving her. She may come out brave, but she was afraid and weak inside that it almost robbed her of the chance of happiness. And now here was Dannie. Too consumed by her past, by what she thought was right and wrong. There was one thing she didn't have that her two other friends had though. Dannie baby never experienced a normal childhood, never had support from what you would call a family member apart from her sickly sister, Tessa. She had it rough and she had it hard. Who could blame her twisted and confusing thoughts right now? But she had to see that what she had now was not what she had years ago. What she had now could be a foundation of the kind of happiness she truly deserved. And the one person who could show her that blew it all freaking away by a kiss!

Okay, I rambled on for a bit there. I was pissed, okay? I had to deal with my own vehicular thoughts and these humans' overly thought lives. Because, really, from a vehicle's point of view, humans could just live their lives the way we did. Turn on engine; roll fast and slow; run in reverse, forward or make turns; get lost; be controlled or lose control; reach the destination; and ultimately come into terms with their demise. I don't know about humans, but for a car like me, the destination is as important as the journey, not just the destination or not just the journey-it had to be both. They just needed to know how to navigate and that's the problem with most of them. Their navigation relies on a lot of complicated and unimportant things as societal standards and judgment. My engine could only sigh in frustration. If I could write a book about my thoughts, I would. I should have been a machine in a printing press or something. That way, I'd give all humans the scolding they deserved.

Emotions are great factors of being humans, I knew that. But so was logic and reason, dude! At that moment, I didn't know if Dannie baby had logic or reason. She was just a big emotional wreck.

*****

By the time we reached Dumaguete, it was scorching hot. It was the middle of the day and I needed a break. Brady was in no mood to do more stopovers though. Lunch was necessary though so they had to grab one at a local restaurant across the Boulevard. They settled outdoor, their table right beside a couple who seemed to have enjoyed their vacation somewhere as evidenced by their sun-kissed skin. The lady had on a wide-brim hat with the same color as me. She had on a dress and she looked happy as her partner talked about something. I wondered then how they were a polar opposite to my two companions just sitting a few feet away from them.

Brady and Dannie were not talking and if they did, it was just something about more food or drinks. She was busy looking blankly ahead as she chewed on her food; he was busy with his tablet.

When they were ready to go, I was already hot. Like really hot. Not the normal kind.

I knew then that we'd be in trouble. I already felt the symptoms even before Brady tried to start my engine.

It didn't even make a single groan.

Oh holy Volks, I feel so hot. I need rest. Take me to my kind of hospital!

"What's wrong?" Dannie baby asked.

Brady was frowning down at my keys. He turned it again but my metallic body was not making any reaction. "Toto won't start."

No, Toto is sick, Brady! I need immediate mechanical attention!