When they reached his car, George pulled her hand away from Jordan and stared at him like he was crazy. “Do you realize what you just did? You could have started a family feud there!”

“Well, you’d like that very much, wouldn’t you?” he snapped at her, opening his car door.

“I can’t believe you just did that,” she huffed out as she climbed inside beside him. “That might have gotten you in trouble!”

“They won’t do anything. For those people, personal problems are not business problems. They will not be that shallow as to ruin their business because of angry words.” He maneuvered the car out of the parking lot.

“Still, you should not have done that,” she said more quietly now, slipping out of her heels and back into her slippers.

“What? Let them talk down on your work?”

“No, let me handle it. I was about to do that when you decided to speak up.”

“Well, I was offended too. I am also a volunteer.”

“Still, you should have let me handle it.”

He did not answer and drove on.

A moment later he threw her a glance and asked, “Does he always talk down on your work like that?”

“It’s not new.” She tried to sound casual about it, but there was a catch on her throat she was not able to stop. When Jordan opened his mouth to speak, she cut him off by saying, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Do you want to go home now?” he asked instead.

She shook her head as her eyes started to well with tears. She was feeling a lot of emotions right now and after that momentary composure at the party, everything inside her was starting to crumble down.

“Should we go home to Ayala?”

She turned to the window and nodded, a tear finally rolling down her cheek. She hastily wiped it away as Jordan sped down the road toward Ayala.

*****

“Is there something to eat?” she asked when they finally arrived at his place.

“I figured you’d be looking for food,” he muttered, walking to the kitchen.

George followed him and watched as he looked for something in the fridge. “Just bacon, ham, hotdog…all the bad stuff,” he said with a frown. He had loosened his tie and was taking off his jacket which he threw on the high stool beside her.

“Bacon,” George answered. “And rice.”

“Cook the rice, I’ll cook the bacon.”

Her eyes went to the bread and she said, “I guess I can pass up the rice. Let’s go for bacon and cheese sandwich.”

“You’re such a lazy cook.”

“I hate cooking.”

“Yeah, right,” he said, throwing the freezing bacon in the microwave to defrost. While waiting, he looked at her and asked, “You okay?”

“Of course. Just hungry and tired.”

He was looking at her with concern and she wanted to wipe it off. She didn’t like it when people looked at her that way. It was very close to pity and she didn’t need that.

“You are angry?”

“With you. You shouldn’t have done what you did.”

“You mean I should have just let them fry you?”

“No. I meant you should have stepped back and let me handle it my own way. Like I had always done.”

“Oh, I see…” Jordan said slowly, peering at her with a glint of anger in his eyes. “You don’t like it when people have your back. You think you can handle yourself on your own. Is that it?”

“Exactly,” she answered while looking at him straight in the eyes.

“That’s bullshit, Georgina.”

“Yes, right, call me Georgina. It puts you at the right place in my book.”

“What the hell do you mean by that?”

“Only those who call me George really know me. You’re one of them. You think you know me but you really don’t.”

“Oh, no, you’re wrong,” he said, arching an eyebrow, hands on hips. His eyes were alight with more anger now and that anger was focused on her. She suddenly felt uncomfortable. She wanted to escape and hide in her room. “I know you very well, George. I know you think you hate your parents, especially your dad, but you really don’t. You hate what they do to you, how they control your life, but you cannot leave them easily. And don’t tell me it is about your sister. I know about your sister.”

“Shut up. You don’t know anything about my life!” She started to get up and leave but he blocked her path. The microwave dinged but none of them made a move toward it.

“Let me pass,” she said through clenched teeth.

“This is what you do, right? You run away. You get up and leave and do stupid things so you could escape.”

“Shut up!”

“You let people think you are strong and could live alone without needing anyone, but that’s a total bullshit. You are the one who needs people the most, George. You have your friends’ back, but who got yours? No one, right? Because you won’t let them. Your friends are exceptions because they need you more than you need them. But what about others? What about your family? Me? You don’t let people get too close enough and when they do, you panic.”

The tears started pooling her eyes and she let them roll down her cheeks, probably because she did not feel them because of her anger. “That’s bullshit. Get out of my way, Jordan! Don’t make me push you—”

“What? You’re going to get physical now? You will replace whatever emotional strain you are feeling by inflicting physical pain? That’s why you go around seeking for and doing dangerous stuff. You think they give you the thrill, but the truth is that those are the only moments you allow yourself to be completely vulnerable. And when you surpass them, you go back to you strong façade. You are so hard-headed you don’t recognize the good things right in front of you and if you do, you filter them and accept only those you think is safe, those that are within your comfort zone. The others you feel uncomfortable with, you keep at a distance. You judge things and people too fast you let that judgment cloud the good stuff. You find it hard to accept that your family can offer you something good, something you believe they can never give. I know I can’t judge them because I don’t know them like I do know you. But they are people who, in their own ways, gave you what you have now, George. And all of the things and the people you keep at bay are starting to inch their way toward you and you don’t know what to do. So, tell me, did I miss something?”

“I hate you!” she cried out, her voice shaking, her tears flowing.

“No, you don’t. You just want to believe that you do,” he said more gently. He stepped in front of her. She made a move to slap him but he caught her hand and the other one who made another attempt. “You should let people in, George. Your family will not affect you as much as they do if you just also give them the chance without being hard on them. You are very much like your father, you know. You don’t just see it. The two of you don’t know how to express whatever it is you feel.”

“I don’t hate him. I just can’t stand him.”

“Why? Because he is not like Troy’s dad? Or other normal fathers out there? You think he doesn’t know how to love people as much as he does his business? Is that it? He controls your family? But he’s not doing a lot to stop you, right? You’ve been living on your own without him getting in your way for years. That says a lot for the man you think you can’t stand. There are worse fathers out there.”

“He’s forcing me to do something I don’t want to do. He is forcing me to marry you!”

Something flashed across his face for a few seconds before they completely disappeared. And he said, “Well, he’s not doing it with a gun pointing at your head, is he?” When she did not say anything, Jordan continued, “Your father is doing something he thinks is right. Like you and other people out there. But that doesn’t mean he’s doing it to purposely hurt you. Can’t you see things in that perspective instead of just assuming he just doesn’t care?”

“Says the man who just defended me from my father’s harsh words,” she scoffed.

“I understand where he is coming from as much as I understand where you’re coming from.”

Her eyes snapped toward him. “You don’t understand what I am going through.”

“Yeah? And you do? You are confused about a lot of things. Add the burdens of your friends and your own and you’re a total wreck.”

She pulled at her hands but he wouldn’t let go. She could kick him and escape, but she didn’t do that. She wondered why.

“I can’t tell you what you should do or what you should think. You are your own self. You can do whatever the hell you want. You have been focused on judging people with your eyes wide open because you fear and think too much—you’re overly practical and critical. But relationships are just like jumping off a cliff. You close your eyes and jump, not knowing whether you’ll come out of the water alive. And if you can’t do that, you either stay safe and sound on the cliff and miss the thrill or you let someone push you off the cliff and let yourself fall. It’s all about taking the fall in whichever way possible, most often with your eyes closed. As what most adventurous people like yourself say, you experience the best things with your eyes closed and your other senses open.” He held her eyes and his lips lifted to form a small smile. “Don’t deny yourself of the things that could potentially make you happy, George.”

After he said that, he leaned over to kiss her forehead, his lips lingering a few seconds longer before he stepped back and freed her hands.

“Think about it while you make yourself a sandwich,” he said before he turned to walk out the kitchen.

She stood motionless for a few seconds, letting his words sink in.

Was he right? Was she denying herself a lot of things?