Taehyung's POV-

They don't fucking get it.

I do have feelings for him, I always have, but I've dulled them down and buried them deep inside. I had to work so hard to separate my love for my friend from romantic love and they want to undo it just like that!

As if it were a switch that can be flipped on and off at will.

They aren't thinking this through. They can't be because they don't seem to be taking into account the fact that when he remembers Yoongi is who he made these memories with, the one who was there that day, the one who saved him, he is going to want to be with him, not me.

They are setting me up for heartbreak and Koo up for confusion along with inevitable heartbreak.

We have to work together to come up with something else.

Between the six of us someone has to have some sort of idea that can at least temporarily help straighten out this mess.

A plan that would be better than this one Chanyeol and Chim are suggesting.

I've thought up a few alternative ideas on my own in just the past few minutes since stepping out with these two, but I haven't had time to think of anything solid or that wouldn't likely hurt Koo or myself.

I had a brief thought that maybe I could tell him we broke up before the day he came to the hospital, but that would require answering a lot of follow up questions and I don't want to have to lie.

I might bend the truth, keep a secret or two, but I don't flat out lie to my friends.

I've also thought about just telling him that he is mistaking memories with his real love for memories with me, but the Doctor advised that forcing memories could do more damage.

The last thing I want is to cause him more pain just so I can save myself from coping with his confusion myself.

He doesn't deserve to be forced to remember he loves Yoongi because then we'll have to explain why Yoongi isn't there, which will hurt him more.

Yoongi probably wouldn't even agree to coming even if he did know Koo was awake...

He's just so fucking deep under Irene's spell.

It's both infuriating and saddening.

This powerful, confident, outspoken man I spent so long admiring and respecting has become someone completely different from who I thought he was.

But, I digress. This isn't about my opinion of Yoongi. This is about what we are going to do with Koo. What is best for him.

The last idea I'd had, what infortunately may be the best option I've thought of, will be to take him home with me and try to get him to fall back in love with Yoongi.

I know- I fucking know my heart will suffer because he will be clinging onto me, expecting me to love him, while I try to push him out of my arms and back into Yoongi's.

My heart is already breaking at the thought.

None of this would be nearly as heart wrenching to think about if it was a guaranteed short term thing, but it isn't. No one knows how long it could take to get him to remember Yoongi in a way that doesn't hurt or push him into it.

Which brings me back to the problem of Yoongi.

I'm fairly certain I could help Koo fall back in love with Yoongi, but not this Yoongi.

Not this lifeless, robotic man who's tucked tightly in Irene's back pocket.

Fuck- I didn't think about- what if-

What if it takes months to snap Yoongi out of her spell?

Chanyeol's said it has taken that much time at least in the past. If that's the case this time as well than this plan will surely fail because I know I can't keep Koo away that long.

My heart won't allow it.

I will fall back in love with him and if that were the case I would never willingly let him go again.

Additionally, if we do go with this plan of me playing into his false memory he isn't going understand why I am acting the way I am.

I will have to keep him at a certain distance emotionally– physically too if he kept kissing, hugging and touching me the way he did earlier– until he remembers who he is actually in love but he isn't going to know that.

He is only going to see that I'm keeping him at arms length. He isn't going to understand that I am only doing it to keep our hearts from breaking.

And I know how Koo thinks. If I'm distant he's automatically going to blame himself and this accident. He is going to think I resent him for something he didn't even choose to go through.

Fuck, this is a mess. A goddamn mess.

They are asking me to play into his mis-remembered past months that we have been, that we are, together.

I can and have pretended to feel and be a lot of things in the past but I don't think I can pretend to fall out of love with him.

"I can't do this. This isn't fair to him or to me. You can't expect me to go along with this! He is going to get hurt and so am I."

"I understand your hesitation-"

"My hesitation?!" I raise my voice, words sounding every bit as angry as I feel. "And no, you don't understand. Neither you or Chim do."

"Okay, maybe I don't," he speaks in a calmer tone, "But from my perspective, Jungkook deserves to be happy and Yoongi is in no state to make him anything but heartbroken. I can try to work with Yoongs as fast as I can, but Jungkook deserves to be happy in the meantime instead of waiting around for Yoongi to come to his senses-"

"What about me?!" I cut in, "What about my heartbreak? Because that is what's going to happen. I am going to fall in love with him all over again just for him to be taken away from me when he realizes I'm not the one he remembers loving.

"I've thought about it and I can't think of a scenario that won't result in his confusion and ultimate unhappiness for both of us." My eyes begin to tear up as I try to get him to understand. "This- this isn't fair to either of us."

"You've pretended to be in love before, Tae. Hell you're doing it with Seulgi right now. How is this different?"

My anger intensifies ten fold. How the fuck can he think this is the same in any way, shape or form?!

"I don't love Seulgi! She and I both know that. This is a symbiotic relationship. She gets to tote me around to all of her stuck up idol friends and she thinks I just get out of her new clothes and gifts. It's different because I have not and will not have feelings for her. That isn't the case with him.

"After I moved in school my heart was broken too. I lost my love too, but we agreed that we didn't want to have a relationship. I have worked so hard to push those feelings down and now you are asking me to put all of that in jeopardy to keep him happy until he remembers Yoongi.

"To help keep him in this fantasy world I used to wish for where the two of us are in love until he remembers that his real fantasy doesn't exist with me. What about my happiness?! Are either of you even thinking about me?!"

Just then alarms and chirping machines could be heard ringing out wildly from the Koo's room. Just as I turn and reach for the door Chim pushes it open harshly.

"Find Yuna! He's having a seizure and it's a bad one." He rushes out.

Chanyeol rushes past me into the room and I turn around as I frantically search for Yuna, the Doctor, anyone.

"Yuna?! Doctor Yang! Someone! Please help. Jungkook is having a seizure!" I yell as I run up the hallway, head swiveling from left to right, searching for someone who can help.

Suddenly is see Doctor Yang, Yuna and two more nurses hurrying around the corner in my direction with panicked faces.

I immediately turn back towards the room when I see them. They catch up to me quickly as we get to the room.

The three nurses rush inside, brushing Chim and Hoseok away from the bed to replace where the two were holding Koo's arms as Chanyeol steps away from where he is stood by Koo as well.

Doctor Yang raises his voice from the doorway, telling all of us to wait outside.

Chim, Hoseok and Chanyeol turn towards where I'm stood in the doorway and I move out of the way as they walk out into the hall before I shut the door behind us.

I step to the side, leaning my back against the wall to the right of the door, sinking to the floor as I start to sob.

Chim comes to sit by my side, wrapping his arms around my shoulders as we both cry together.

Between my choked cruise I manage to mumble out, "It's not fair. None of this is fair."

.......

"Is he still asleep?" Chim asks as he and Hoseok walk up to me with their cafeteria coffee in hand.

"Yeah. His temperature was starting to rise but he was shivering uncontrollably so they asked me to step out while they do a few assessments but he's still asleep." I look down at my watch before I stand up to stretch.

It's been a quite a while since he had his seizure. They had gotten it under control pretty quickly, thank God, and gave him some medication to help him calm down. A sedative. A strong one too it seems as he's been passed out ever since.

"I will probably be staying here again tonight. Yuna said that once the sedative wore off, which could be any time now, he would wake up pretty confused so it would be good to have a familiar face with him. I don't want him to wake up by himself." I answer, letting out a yawn.

"Do you want us to stay with you?" Hoseok asks with a kind smile and noticeable bags under his eyes.

Hoseok doesn't do well with no sleep and I don't want to send Chim home with a grumpy boyfriend come morning.

I smile at his gesture but tell them they are okay to go. They grin back, wishing me a good night before heading home.

A few minutes after Chim and Hoseok leave the nurses comes out, telling me I am good to go back in.

When I walk through the door I see that Koo is still asleep but doesn't seem to be shivering anymore. He has also been tucked into his blanket snuggly like a child.

The white blanket has been pulled all the way up to his chin and he has his fingers curled around the edge of the blanket by his face, so just his nose and fingertips are peaking out.

I giggle softly at the site as I continue walking to the couch that is against the far wall.

The nurses were kind enough to have left a pillow and a blanket for me there but I have no intention to sleep on this uncomfortable, pleather thing.

Instead I opt for the softer arm chair with the footrest that comes out, which is what I usually sleep in when I stay the night.

I've slept on the bed before, but it is just so small. Plus with all of the wires and things that can't really be moved or messed with, I didn't do it often. Only when I just really really needed to be closer to my friend.

Over the last several weeks trying both pieces of furniture in the room I've decided it's better to sleep upright in this chair rather than on the hard couch.

I pick up the bedding before moving to the chair, pushing it closer to the bed so that I'm right next to where Koo has his head on his pillow.

I fluff my pillow before placing it against the back of the chair as I sit, spreading the blanket over me in the process. I snuggle back into the pillow as my mind begins thinking about that uncomfortable couch again.

You'd think hospital couches would be more comfortable. It's actually rather ironic that they're not because I'm sure the number of people that stay with their loved ones through the night during their stay at the facility is quite high.

In theory, they should want the visitors to be comfortable but apparently not.

I smile to myself as I think of how ridiculous a thing this is to be annoyed about. Then I smile even more as I think about how Koo would probably have the same opinion as I do on this topic.

He and I could probably discuss and speculate the thought process of whoever picked the terrible furniture for hours, but I definitely don't have the energy to dwell on it now.

It's almost a quarter past ten so it's best I just focus on watching an episode or two of Hwarang then getting some sleep before my mind runs rampant on even more ridiculous tangents.

Or, heaven forbid I start thinking of how to deal with this whole playing along with the false memories of our relationship or trying to get him to fall in love with Yoongi shit show of a situation.

That can wait until tomorrow when I have had a good night sleep and a clear head.

Its not like the issue will vanish overnight anyway. The chance of Koo waking up in the morning to a clear head and a full recollection of everything that's happened, of his relationship with Yoongi, is slim. The doctor said so. But, it would almost be a blessing.

If he were to wake up in love with Yoongi so I wouldn't have to let myself fall again.

Wouldn't have to hurt him or myself.