I FORGOT TO UPDATE HNNNGH

long chapter as an apology!

COMMENT!!! AND VOTE!!

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"Alright, miss clingy" Zac tried to peel me off him, "Feel likes the old days"

I pulled back, the scowl from earlier returned to my face. I shoved an accusing finger to his chest, "You can't say all those nice things then not expect me to hug you!"

He brought his hand up to the top of my head, patting it, "It's fine, I missed this you"

"Oh, so you don't like me now?"

"I didn't like you with Max"

Just at his name a lump formed in his throat but I attempted to hide that, trying to pretend it didn't affect me. Instead I smiled up at him, "I think you just miss young Hollie looking up to you as if you were her idol"

"I am your idol"

"You had your chance with me. You snooze, you lose"

He hesitated, seemingly thinking about what I just said. I cocked an eyebrow when he didn't respond for a second before a small smile formed on his face, "Pack your bags then"

"I need to call my parents first"

"You're coming home with me"

"I'm not moving in with you"

"I'm not going to try anything"

"I don't care" Why was I being like this? It was like one part of me still wanted to stay loyal to Max even though he had just cheated on me. I hadn't necessarily told him we were breaking up, and I didn't want to stoop to his level and seem like a cheater too.

That probably didn't make any sense but it sort of did in my head and that was all I needed.

"Why? What's your reason?" He sat down onto the bed. Although I turned my back and began taking down my clothes, I knew he was watching me. It honestly felt like his gaze was going to drill through me.

"I just can't"

"For what reason?"

"I don't want to be around a male right now"

"You're with me right now, and it's not awkward"

"I tried to kick you out and you didn't leave"

"Okay if your really want me to leave, I'll go"

I hesitated, my fingers curling around the hanger tighter. Would he actually leave...

"That's fine"

"You hesitated... a lot"

"So?"

"If you wanted me gone, you'd tell me right off the bat. I'm not dumb. Now what's the real reason? I said you don't need to be near me, you'll have your own bathroom, bedroom and I'll be up before you so we won't see each other in the morning"

I stayed silent, "It just doesn't feel right"

"Do I make you uncomfortable?"

"No. You know you don't, why are you even asking that?"

"I'm hoping that's the reason" When he said that I spun around in surprise, my brow furrowing. He wanted me to feel uncomfortable around me?

When I saw the dull dark look on his face, I hesitated. Just his gaze caught me off guard and I had to clear my throat to be able to speak, "Uhm... why?"

"There's only one other reason I can think of you not wanting to come and it's not making me happy"

My lips formed a straight line. I turned away once more, continuing to fold up the clothes, "Hollie"

"Hm?"

"Do you feel guilty..?"

"For what?"

"If you moved in with me, would you feel bad for Max? Or guilty?"

I didn't want to lie to him. I couldn't say no because whenever I lied, it came back to bite me in the butt. An example was not telling Max about mine and Zac's past relationship, our one night stand.

Was he that hurt over it...?

"You do..." He said it slowly, "Hollie, are you an idiot?"

I felt tears well up in my eyes but I didn't turn to him, instead I stayed silent.

"You feel guilty?! He just cheated on you with your boss, in your bed! The bed you sleep together in, the apartment you bought together, with the woman that made your life living he-"

"I GET THAT ZAC, REALLY. THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME, IT MAKES ME FEEL SO MUCH BETTER" I shouted back.

"Then why? Why the hell do you feel bad for coming home with me, we aren't even doing anything!"

"Because I'm in love with him"

"He broke your heart"

"I KNOW AND IT HURTS LIKE HELL BUT I JUST CAN'T THINK OF LEAVING HIM. I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE AGAIN"

I turned to glare at him and he only now noticed I was crying again. I was so god damn emotional but I had fair reason to be. If the man you loved, the man you thought you'd marry cheated on you, it was a feeling that no one deserved.

"You won't be alone"

"Yes I will. You think I'll ever trust another man after what he did?"

"One experience can't change your way of thinking about every man, Hols"

"Yes it can. I trusted him more than anyone! I loved him with all my heart, I thought he would always be loyal to me and I was so wrong"

"You trust him more than me?"

"No, I trust you too but I'm talking relationship wise. You're my friend" I wiped my eyes. They were becoming sore from the friction of my sleeve.

He didn't respond for a moment, "You'll find someone who will treat you the way you deserve"

"It doesn't matter. I won't be able to trust him, I'll never feel safe. I'm going to die a crazy cat lady"

"I'll always be there for you"

"I know you will but when you get married, you can't baby me around. Then I'll be alone when some girl comes along and takes you too. I deserve it though, with how I treated you when I was with Max"

"If it makes you feel better, I won't settle down anytime soon"

"That makes me feel worse. What if your dream girl comes into your life and you don't go for her because I'm standing in the way?" I fell back onto the bed in complete dismay.

"It's not you who stood in the way of my dream girl" He chuckled, lying back next to me. I turned over to face him, cocking an eyebrow, "was that the one?"

"What?"

"The dream girl. Was she the one who broke your heart?"

"You could say that"

"Well, I'm sorry"

"It's not your fault" I looked over to him but his eyes were shut. I glanced around us, noting the messed up bed. My stomach turned over when I remembered why it was so messed up. I jumped up from the bed as if it was acid.

This made Zac's eyes flash open and he studied me. He pushed himself into a sitting position and glanced back at the bed. "I can't, you feel bad"

"I don't anymore" I grumbled. Why was I feeling guilty about moving in with Zac when what Max did was one hundred times worse. So, I was still in love with the guy but it didn't mean I should feel bad.

In fact... revenge would be nice.

Revenge.

I didn't know where the streak just came from, but I suddenly felt some sort of evil wash over me. I was a pure-bred idiot. I was literally feeling guilty when he was the one who just fucked my horrible boss.

I reached over to Zac and slipped his phone from his pocket. I dialed in Max's number on it, knowing it off by heart. After all, mine was broken.

"Who are you calling?"

"Max"

"No. No, Hollie. Why?"

"To break up with him"

"Oh. Then go ahead" He put his hand away that was reaching for my phone. I paced back and forth, my heart beginning to race now. My palms were growing sweaty just at the thought.

"Hello?" Max's voice sounded dull, almost tired. Then I heard another voice in the background, Barbara's. HE WAS STILL WITH HER?!

When I heard his voice, I felt sick and almost hung up but now I felt angry. Pure anger and hatred, "hi"

Silence.

"Hollie? Oh my god, Hollie. Baby, how are you?"

"Max, if you call me baby one more time, I will castrate you"

Silence.

I saw Zac grin from the corner of my eye.

"Hollie, I'm so sorry. So sorry. It was a pure accident, it just happened. It was horrible, it was wrong and I'll never do it again, ever"

"Come home so we can talk about it"

"Really?" He sounded hopeful and for a moment I felt bad for him. That was until I heard Barbara shout at him in the background. My grip tightened on Zac's phone, was I going to break this one too.

I saw Zac stare at me as if I had fifty heads. "What the hell are you doing?" He mouthed at me but once again I turned away.

"Yeah" I said quietly in response to Max's question.

"Oh my god, thank you. I'll be right over, baby!" and with that I hung up. With a small sigh I threw Zac's phone back onto the bed and climbed around to lie in the bed.

Of course on Max's side, not the side Barbara was on. This bed would probably have to be burned now. Zac climbed up next to me, but I noticed he wasn't happy.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"What?"

"Don't 'what' me. You just invited Max 'home'. You said you're going to talk things out"

"I told you I'm breaking up with him"

"You could have done it over the phone"

"I hate people who break up over the phone"

"He cheated on you! He deserves a phone break up if anything"

"It's for me, not him"

I could see he still didn't agree with the whole idea but he didn't say anything else on the matter. Instead he rolled onto his back, resting his head on the pillow, staring up at the ceiling, "Drama always follows you"

"Of course there's going to be drama if I get cheated on" I spoke about it so freely as if it didn't affect me but whenever I said it, I just wanted to cry.

I knew Max wouldn't be too far so he'd be here soon enough. After lying there for another minute, I began pulling off my top

Zac stared at me as if I was an insane patient who escaped the asylum and stopped me before I could take it off, "Hollie! What the hell are you doing?"

"I need to change" I lied.

"What's going on? You don't change in front of me"

"I had a boyfriend back then"

"And when you didn't, you didn't even like me looking at you in booty shorts"

I scowled at his quick responses, only freezing up when the front door clicked open.

"Hollie?" I heard Max call for me. He must have gone to the sitting room first before I heard him coming toward the bedroom so I took this as my chance.

I dived onto Zac, catching him off guard. I locked my lips to his, wrapping my legs between his own. My top was only half way up but it would do because his hand was still on it.

"WHAT THE HELL HOLLIE?!" When I heard Max shout a smile crept onto my lips and knew he had entered the room. I heard running now, "I'll kill you, Isaac!!"

Isaac pushed me off him just in time to dodge Max's punch. He jumped up from the bed and grabbed Max, "calm down little man"

"NO YOU'RE KISSING MY GIRL!"

"She's kissing me. Last time I checked, she's not your girl"

"We were going to talk things out"

"She played you"

Max stopped trying to swing at Zac and turned to me. There was honest pain in his eyes, "He's joking right?"

"It's over, Max. You cheated on me with someone I hate, let alone just cheated. I'm done with you, you broke my trust and I never want to see you again"

"Hol-"

"You can keep this place, don't worry. I'm moving out"

"No, Hollie. No you're not. Baby, I love you with all my heart, don't leave me"

"You did this to yourself" Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, "Get out so I can pack the rest of my things... and finish what you interrupted" I purposely eyed Zac up.

This caused Max to yell and go in for a punch. Zac was ready and ducked out of the way before wrapping his hand around Max's throat and slamming him up to the wall, "Get out of this place before I kill you. Look at me and tell me I'm not serious"

The anger in his voice sent shivers down my spine and Max saw it too. He just glared at Zac, his eyes were watering before peeling his hands off and storming off. I knew he didn't want to us to see him cry.

It didn't make me feel as good as I thought it would, in fact I felt worse.

"I hate confronting things..." I sighed.

"You hate confronting things?" Zac's voice was low, "You called him here, Hollie. You did, no one else so don't you dare complain about it"

My eyes widened at Zac's reaction. He turned to me and... he was angry.

"Zac..."

"Don't Zac me! You used me, Hollie"

"No, I didn't mean it like that"

"You didn't even ask! That's why you were getting undressed, to make him jealous, you could have told or asked me. Instead you jumped on me out of nowhere just to get him mad, he tried to hit me"

"I knew you'd dodge it"

"You knew nothing! You can't just play like that, this isn't a game. You push me off all the time, you shut me down all the time so now that you're heartbroken doesn't make it okay to use me just to make him feel jealous"

"I didn't think-"

"Yeah, you didn't think. I saw that smug look on your face, don't even say you feel bad. Calling him here to break up, you lied straight to my face, this was all for your benefit. I offered to let you move in with me, I'm here for you after everything and you don't even have the decency to fill me in on your spiteful little plan"

I felt myself crying again.

Not because of Max, not because I was being shouted at, not because he was mad at me but because I had hurt him.

As he told me off, I realized everything he said was true. I was so mad at Max I wanted to get back at him and Zac was here. So I took advantage of him.

He was here for me, even after everything I put him through, even after my mood swings and that's all I did to him. I wiped my eyes, trying to hide the tears, I didn't want to act as if I was playing the sympathy act.

"I just... I was so mad and I wanted to make him feel like he made me feel..."

"Good for you, Hollie. Next time maybe fill me in instead of using me for your own benefit" he snapped and without another word stormed out there door, shutting it behind him.

I messed up, I messed up bad.