My eyes flashed open, my nostrils flaring when the scent of heaven appeared. Well, it was just food but it was my heaven and sanctuary.

My eyes landed on Zac putting out breakfast on the table near us. I pushed myself up, rubbing my sensitive eyes.

"Where did you get that?"

He turned back to me, "Only you would wake up because the smell of this"

"Aren't we supposed to go down for breakfast?" I swung my legs over the bed. He just shrugged, "I got it delivered to our room"

"I didn't know that was a thing" I mumbled, although I low-key knew why he could get it up here. It was because he was Isaac Hawke.

He nodded to the chair and I made my way over, planting myself in it while he sat across from me. It was a full breakfast and my stomach growled at me, warning me to eat it.

I wasn't going to argue, I was famished. The food was hot but I didn't care, I scarfed it down, barely even tasting it. Even though I ate quick, Zac finished only a minute after me.

"You're a pig" he commented and I scowled.

"You finished just as quick"

He wiggled his eyebrows, a sly smile appearing upon his face and I rolled my eyes.

Then he popped into my head.

I felt sick.

Max.

The thought of him and Barbara appeared and my stomach turned over. I felt my whole body shudder but I held back tears now, I only wanted to cry when I was alone from now on.

"Hollie, it's going to be okay" Zac reached out, seeing through me easily. I offered him a grateful smile, that I had to force on. Every time Max came into my mind, I just... hurt. Everything hurt.

It had been only a day though, so it wasn't weird.

Yesterday, I didn't feel anything though. When I had Snake trapped, when Noir threatened me, I forgot all about Max. Instead my veins were on fire and my heart pounded.

It was terrifying but also thrilling. It made my brain forget everything I was stressing about. "What are you thinking?" My eyes flickered up to Zac.

"Shouldn't you be at work? Real work?"

"I took the day off"

"You didn't need too"

"I did" He said slowly, "Jamie can handle it alone today, she's well experienced"

"I'm sure you know just how experienced she is" I commented and he just arched an eyebrow but said nothing else on the matter. I moved the plate out of the way so I could rest my head on the table, "How many girls have you slept with?"

"Not as many as you think"

"Don't you ever want to settle down? Aren't you tired of humping and dumping, you must have hurt some girls along the way"

"I did... and still do" He nodded, "I have to relieve myself someway though"

"Gross" I scrunched up my face, "Don't say it like that"

"My hand can't always do the job"

I pushed myself up, "I said I don't need to know that stuff!"

"Did I make you feel good?" He grinned, "That night?"

"No, like I said, that was a mistake"

"But you told me after it was your first orgasm"

"ISAAC!" I blocked my ears, "I said that to make you feel good about yourself"

"No need to lie, your reaction was enough. If that was fake, you'd win an oscar for it. Didn't you beg for more at one stag-"

"I think you're mixing up your dreams with reality, Zac" I stood from my chair, "I'm getting dressed" I noticed I was in the same clothes from yesterday. I needed a shower, I felt so dirty from it.

I usually undressed in the bedroom but seeing as Zac was here and well it was a hotel, I only removed the clothes when I was in the bathroom.

Once I made sure the shower was at the perfect temperature, I hopped inside, closing the curtain over. I raised my head to the water, washing my face first. I told myself that was why.

It was to hide the tears.

The tears I had been holding back were washed away by the water. I bit my lip, to hold back any loud sobs, only letting out small whimpers. The noise of the shower blocked them out.

This was like a sanctuary right now. I didn't like crying in front of Zac, he didn't understand what it was like. To love someone that much, to see your life with them only for them to break your heart and leave you.

The thought of kissing Max appeared in my head which only caused more tears to fall. Why did he have to do that? Why did he have to ruin everything we had together?

I pressed myself against the wet wall, small sobs coming from me. My life was messed up right now.

Due to the heart-break I had momentarily thought about going back with Noir, to see the dangerous life he lived. I could never trust another man apart from Zac.

With his looks and money, he'd find a girl in no time and then he wouldn't be able to baby-sit me anymore. I'd be alone. Again.

I dreaded that moment but I didn't want to make it obvious. I didn't want to interrupt Zac's life just for him to help me, after all I had done to him.

I allowed myself to continue to cry until I fully washed myself, my hair and then the water was turned off. I grabbed the two towels, wrapping my hair up in one and the other around my body.

I wiped my eyes, even though I didn't need to. My face was wet from the shower, that was a good enough excuse.

I left the room with a small sigh, before putting on a quick smile, "Their shampoo is decent"

"Is it?"

"Not good, only decent. I forgot I brought my own, I'm dumb" I groaned and sat on the double bed. He lay down on the other side, his eyes focused up on the television.

I pulled out the hair-dryer from the drawer and plugged it in. I let down my hair from the now soaked towel and began drying it.

My hair was thick, I needed to get it thinned soon enough. I wanted to keep the length though. Using my fingers instead of a brush, I glided them through my hair.

With my own hair-dryer it would usually only take five minutes to dry but this horrible one literally took fifteen to get it partially dry. I returned it to the drawer when I finished.

"Sorry"

"Hm?"

"For interrupting your show with that loud hair-dryer" I said, "I'm shocked you didn't make a sexual comment about my attire. Maybe you're learning"

I brought my legs up onto the bed and lay back next to him.

"Why won't you cry in front of me?"

"What?" I turned to him slowly.

"You were crying in the shower"

"How did you hear me?! The shower sounded so loud"

"I didn't hear you. I just know you, Hollie" he said the words low, he almost seemed upset or mad.

"Then I wasn't crying"

"It's too late, now I know you definitely were"

"What do you want from me? Obviously I can't help but cry, my boyfriend of two years just cheated on me"

"I didn't ask why you're crying, I asked you why don't you cry in front of me? I heard you crying quietly last night and now in the shower..."

"It's embarrassing. You hated Max, so you don't know how hurt I am over him"

"I do know how much it hurts, I loved some-"

"No you don't, Isaac. You've never had a long lasting relationship, so you don't know what it's like. You don't know what it's like to love someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with them, only for them to break your heart into a million pieces"

"Yes, I do"

"GROW UP, ISAAC! You don't. Just because some high-"

"No, you grow up Hollie" He snapped, "I know you're hurt now, but I was hurt too so I know what it's like, don't act like you're the only one in the world that knows the pain"

"Okay, share your story then. Share your long tale" I spat out the words, focusing to catch him out on this lie.

"There was a girl"

"Mhm"

"Can I say it without being interrupted?" He glared at me.

I held up my hands and nodded.

"A girl who liked me. And I liked her but I saw it as wrong"

"Why?"

"Hollie!"

"Okay" I said quietly, realizing I had interrupted him again.

"Because she was younger than me when she loved me. I thought it was wrong, until I grew up and as I grew up, so did she. I learned that some couples had ten year gaps or more between them, so I thought I had a chance"

I bit my tongue.

"She... when we were younger. I rejected her constantly but she didn't give up. So when I began realizing we had a chance, I assumed she'd never give up. But she did, as was expected, it was just a child's crush"

I didn't know what to say.

"Then she got a boyfriend but I knew it wouldn't last because it was a high-school romance and surely it ended. And she came crying to me, and we became closer. I rejected all serious relationships, waiting for her to realize she loved me. She was the only girl that actually listened to my stories and was there for me"

Another silence.

"Then we had sex, I expected she'd love me again after, thinking we had a connection. You know some dumb special moment but instead she was embarrassed and never wanted to speak of it. She called it a mistake and I realized it..." He blinked, "The girl I loved and waited for for years, didn't love me and wouldn't"

He looked over to me, "Then some guy came in who didn't even try win her love or reward her in anyway, and she fell head over heels for him. I was jealous and hated that man because I didn't know what he had that I didn't. I tried to always be there for you, I tried to flirt with you but you didn't even realize"

I was crying now. I was dumb, but not dumb enough to not know who he was talking about.

"So, Hollie. You were in love with Max for two years who broke your heart. I was in love with this girl for ten years who broke mine, so I think I know what you're going through"

I had been the one who hurt him. I broke his heart.

"I didn't know" I whimpered quietly, wiping my cheeks.

"I didn't tell you" He shrugged, "But don't cry. I've over it all, I moved on. I even forgave the guy who you fell for until I noticed he didn't treat you the way you deserved so before you get weirded out, I'm not in love with you anymore" He chuckled, "I'm long over it babes"

WHY DIDN'T HE TELL ME?

IT WASN'T A CHILD'S CRUSH!

I LOVED HIM I LOVED HIM SO MUCH BUT HE NEVER SHOWED ME IT BACK. HE TREATED ME LIKE A LITTLE SISTER!

"You.... you can't be upset" I snapped and this time he was surprised.

"You didn't tell me, you didn't let me know. You treated me like a child even as we grew so how would I know?"

"I said it wasn't your fault. I'm just saying I know pain"

I wanted to shout at him that I had loved him with every bit of my heart. That I always wanted to be with him but now I couldn't. He had loved me once, but not anymore. I had hurt him.

And I had been hurt. I didn't want a relationship ever again, heart break sucks.

"I'm sorry, even though it's not my fault"

"I'm sorry for getting annoyed. I'll always be here for you, what are best friends for?"

Friend.