I gave you a letter 9 years ago. A letter I wrote without giving much meaning; a letter I never thought worth keeping until now but you did anyway. I am bombarded with mixed emotions as I still remember the 8-year-old me running towards you and threw the letter while feeling so embarrassed about it. It was a thank you letter. Going through your stuff was never easy but it gave me comfort. I laughed while reading my own letter because it was literally what the 8-year-old me would write to her elder sister. I'd be lying if I said I moved on. Time flies so fast and your presence still lingers. There are still a lot of what ifs and questions I could never find answers to. What's more frustrating is that at times I try to recall our memories together, I could only count a few. It was hard. An 8 year gap felt different. You are my role model, my idol, and my angel. I want the people to know that you're one of the reasons for the things I am capable of doing. I've always admired your passion in photography, your love for dance and art, your skills in writing and everything else. I think I could never be good in anything without you because the thought of you just makes me want to do more. Writing my thoughts about you on paper consoled me and if there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that I know you were always happy and I know you still are. I love you. 

07.24.20