Lyndis angrily threw everything in the sink. The food was left untouched. She couldn't get them to eat. She couldn't get them to leave the room. She couldn't get them to do anything.

Lyndis took a slow breath as she leaned forward with her hands planted firmly on the edge of the sink. She closed her eyes and tried to gain control of her own emotions. Unshed tears stung behind her eyelids, and the tightness in her throat was making it hard to breathe. She wouldn't let herself break down, no matter how much she wanted to.

She couldn't.

Lyndis straightened and glanced to the living room. At least Adalyn and Sophie had eaten and seemed in better spirits. The two toddlers were back to playing with the toys Gaius had brought them.

Lyndis ran a hand back through her hair, and despite how worn down she felt, she moved over to scoop them both up and take them to bed. It was late, far beyond their bedtime. Gaius had not returned.

Lyn moved slowly up the stairs. She was physically unable to go any faster. She felt like her feet were made of lead, and the two small bundles in her arms weighed far more than they did. Each step was a struggle, but she pushed on.

Finally, Lyndis stopped outside the room where Ilyana, Aurelia and Sylvie were still crying quietly. She stared at the door before she slowly glanced down at the two small faces who were watching her.

Their expressions were falling being so close to the others, and she could see the glistening in Adalyn's eyes. Their pack sister's moods were affecting them. Lyndis grit her teeth and turned to continue down the hallway to the next set of rooms. She couldn't let the two little ones fall back into despair.

Lyndis moved several doors down, about to open the door when a light breeze filtering through the hallway made her pause. She glanced further down to the room closest to the master bedroom.

It was strange how she didn't even consider it hers anymore... her feeling of betrayal ran that deep.

The door was open. Lyndis frowned. She hadn't opened it. That particular room was one of the empty ones, it was meant to be a nursery with the proximity to the master.

Only several of their guest rooms were furnished, Lyndis hadn't felt the need to fill their house with useless furniture... in her newly mated bliss, she had assumed they would decorate each room as their pups were born.

Lyndis felt a pang in her chest as that thought just sent another spike of despair through her. She took a slow breath as she concentrated on her breathing.

She wouldn't fall apart...

Despite the fact that they hadn't seen much of each other, she'd heard Gaius come and go after she'd haul herself up for the night. She knew he had been doing something, but until then, she hadn't cared.

Now, she couldn't help her curiosity.

Lyndis gently set the two girls down. She was unable to hold their weight any longer. She took each of their small hands and started walking them slowly toward the open door.

Their steps were small and careful still, they were both in the ungraceful stages of walking, particularly when sleepy. Lyndis went slow for their sake and finally came to a stop in front of the open door. A light breeze ruffled her hair.

The glass upper wall paneling was open. The cooler night air flowed through. Lyn stared at the two small toddler beds that lined the right wall. A wooden dresser was along the opposite wall. A crate of toys was set in the corner, and diapers were set atop the dresser that had a changing pad.

Lyndis stood there and let the mixture of emotions wash over her.

Anger.

Gratefulness..

Hate.

Love...

She didn't know if she wanted to hit him or hug him. Tears brimmed her eyes. She knew he knew how much they were suffering. She knew he was trying to make this bearable, to give them something they'd never had.

Lyndis glanced down at the two girls when they broke away from her and wandered into the room.

Neither had known any kind of stability in their year and a half of life, they'd never had a room. They'd never had a bed. Lyn took an unsteady breath as she wiped away the tears that unwittingly broke free.

But... she couldn't forget. Even if she was grateful at the gesture, the fact he was preparing for their stay as permanent stirred the rage inside her again.

Lyn was immediately sent back down into the pits of anger and misery, and she had every intention of gathering both girls up and slamming the door, but as she stepped toward them, Adalyn began to clumsily crawl into the bed closest to the door over the railing.

Lyndis glanced to Sophie. She was standing in front of the other and was running her little hands over the railing on the side. She glanced over at Lyndis, and what she did next shocked her into stillness. Sophia smiled and pointed her tiny finger.

"Bed." She said. Lyndis felt her throat tighten. They were smart enough to understand these little beds were meant for them. Lyn hadn't the heart to take them from them now. She smiled despite the tears leaking down her cheeks, for their sake.

"Yes. Do you like them?" Lyndis asked shakily. Adalyn buried her face in the pillow and tucked her small legs beneath her and emitted a small muffled giggle that warmed Lyndis' heart.

She glanced toward the drawers. She thought of his words earlier of wanting the girl's sizes. He must have already got the babies' clothes at some point. Lyndis took a slow breath and moved toward the drawers to start going through them.

"Let's get you ready for bed," Lyndis said shakily.

~

An hour later, Lyndis was sitting on the ground between the two beds. Gently, she ran her fingers through both of their soft tufts of hair as she sang a quiet lullaby in French. They had both been asleep for some time now, but she couldn't make herself get up.

Her head rested back against the wall as she stared out at the rustling jungle trees. Tears escaped her eyes every once in a while. She couldn't help it; the lullaby was her mother's.

It made her heartache.

Finally, with a shaky breath, she forced herself to stand. Carefully she adjusted both canopies that hung over each of the little beds to keep the bugs off. The air was still hot, but the breeze was pleasant. She was going to leave the window open.

Lyndis stepped out into the hall. She felt numb. Lyndis didn't glance up; she stood there for a time. She had planned to go check on the others, but she couldn't make her feet move. It hardly mattered anyway, she heard no crying. Their breathing was even in sleep.

Lyndis didn't know how long she stood there in the hallway, unable to force herself to do anything.

Finally, her eyes were drawn to the master bedroom. The door was slightly open. She hadn't been back in there since that horrible day.

As if on their own accord, her feet drew her in that direction. Lyn gently pushed the door open; it creaked slightly. The room was dark and warm; the paneled windows were only partially open. Lyn frowned when her eyes fell upon their bed.

The moonlight streaming in from the windows illuminated the rumpled sheets that hadn't been changed, her scent was still heavily on them.

Lyndis took a slow breath and felt the tightness in her gut wind into further knots. He had likely done that on purpose, because the moment his scent hit her, it hit her hard and washed over her like a comforting blanket in her current state of misery.

Lyndis couldn't stop the choked sob that escaped her as her eyes fell upon his discarded clothes on the bed. She moved toward it, her fingers carefully picking up his shirt. She brought it to her face and breathed in.

The emotion it sent through her made her sink to the floor beside the bed. She rested her back against it as she buried her face in the comforting scent of the fabric.

She tucked her legs against herself and finally let herself break down into sobs.

Lyndis wanted to get up and shut the door. She didn't want her sisters to hear this moment of weakness from her, or worse, see her like this, but she couldn't make herself move. She had finally reached her breaking point, and her sobs were uncontrollable. She couldn't stop herself. Her chest hurt.

She wanted him so badly.

The door clicking shut barely registered in her current state of unrestrained misery. It wasn't until she felt his hands gently tug the shirt away and cup her face that she physically jumped at the contact as if she'd been burned.

Lyndis snapped her wet swollen eyes to his in surprise. The look of pain on Gaius's face reflected her own. Lyndis emitted another sob as he sunk down onto the floor before her and pulled her tightly into his arms. She didn't resist. She didn't want to.

She wanted him to hold her. She wanted his comfort. The tortured wolf inside her was finally placated by being enveloped in his arms.

Lyn buried her face in his neck as she sobbed hysterically and wrapped her arms tightly around him. He said nothing, he just held her. She didn't know how long they stayed like that, it felt like hours, but when she'd finally calmed herself enough, she tried to pull away.

His grip on her tightened, his form tensed, and Lyndis realized he thought she was going to shove away from him. She lifted her head to gaze at his face. His expression was panicked. Lyn frowned and couldn't stop herself.

She crushed her lips against his.

He needed no further coaxing than that. His mouth devoured hers as he lifted them easily from the floor. Lyn was suddenly pushed back against the bed as he emitted a possessive growl against her mouth. She arched against him and moaned against his mouth as he shoved her oversized shirt up over her breasts to give him access. The fabric of her underwear was torn away, and a moment later, he was inside her.

Lyndis arched her hips against him and threw her head back against the bed and groaned in pleasure.

He didn't waste even a moment. Each thrust between her thighs felt almost angry, the soft grunts of pleasure against her ear sounded primal and desperate. They were pressed so close against each other; it felt as if nothing between them wasn't touching.

She could feel him so wholly through their bond, his need for her. She felt it too. She knew her eyes were glazed; she had no doubt his were as well. This was meeting a need that both of them desperately needed to soothe.

Both their animals in them were fully present.

Fighting the mating bond was wearing them both down, and it accumulated in a violent burst of need and want. Their rutting was rough and quick. He bit into her neck hard as her muscles squeezed out every drop of his heat as they came together.

When she came back to her senses, Lyndis lay panting beneath him as he lightly brushed his teeth and tongue against her neck where he'd left his temporary mark. He seemed reluctant to disconnect from her.

Lyndis did not encourage him either way, she just closed her eyes and soaked in the feeling of his warmth, his hardened body pressed so firmly against her pliant one.

It wasn't until he started to thrust his hips again, with a slower and more controlled pace, that she realized he wasn't done. She arched her hips in approval and submitted to him.

She wanted this. A brief break from reality. The pleasure numbed the other feelings.

Again they enjoyed each other, neither speaking, just meeting each other's needs. When finally he pulled out and lay beside her, Lyndis stared at the ceiling. She felt strangely sated and complete on the surface, despite the raging torrent of emotions that boiled below.

She hated that she had needed this and that she didn't regret it.

He was her mate, and she wanted him, even if she felt horribly betrayed by him. She hated it even more that she felt guilty for wanting her mate. Lyndis turned away onto her side facing away from him when he reached to brush his fingers through her hair. She felt the hurt throb through their bond.

He moved closer to her regardless and pressed firmly against her back to spoon her. She let him do what he wanted, but she wasn't going to encourage him.

A tense silence followed before she heard him emit a slow breath.

"Please... don't do this." Gaius voice sounded broken as he rested his forehead between her shoulders. Lyndis felt a single tear break free and trail down her cheek. She couldn't take this; he had no right to feel sadness.

He had done this to her, to her pack sisters.

Lyndis pushed up with every intention of returning to the pups' room when his arms wrapped around her and pulled her back tightly against him.

Desperately.

"No... you're staying with me tonight. We both need this." Gaius growled as he nuzzled forcefully into her neck from behind. Lyndis shivered and though she wanted so badly to resist him, she just couldn't. His hand slid up higher to just below her breasts, his fingers caressing the sensitive skin of her belly.

She felt so receptive to his touch right now, even places she never thought would turn her on was setting her core alight with tingles. Lyndis pressed her wet thighs together. She felt the warmth begin to pool in her lower belly again. A low rumbling growl emitted from him, and she knew he could feel her receptiveness.

"Please just... let me take care of you." Gaius begged. Lyndis closed her eyes and tried hard not to cry, to not fall apart in his arms again. Why did he have to be so tender? Why couldn't she just hate him? Why did her body have to react to him this way?

He was involved, he had known about it.. and did nothing to try to stop it. Lyndis felt more tears slip free just as he gently turned her head to face him. She met his green eyes full of guilt. It just made her feel worse, especially as his warm lips covered hers again.

Lyndis just let herself give in.

She didn't have any fight left in her at that moment. He broke the kiss as he pulled her flush against him in their spooning position. He tucked his other arm beneath her and pulled her closer by crossing his arm over her chest and gripped her breast possessively. Lyn took a slow breath as he took hold of her hip and gently pushed inside her from behind.

Lyn closed her eyes as he softly rocked his hips, his mouth warm loving as he nipped along her neck and shoulder. His hand kept her hips firmly in place. Lyndis reached back and ran her fingers through his hair as he made gentle love to her.

When both were sated again, they laid still for a time. Lyndis stared at the dark jungle trees swaying in moonlight outside the large windows of their bedroom. The gentle creak of the ceiling fan and their combined heavy breathing the only noise within the room.

Lyndis didn't expect to be able to fall asleep so easily but wrapped warm and safe in his arms; she fell into a deep sleep for the first time in over a week.

_

Lyndis awoke to the slant of the sun across her eyes. She squinted and groaned, about to turn over and attempt to sink back into sleep again, when a faint giggle snapped her out of her sleepful haze.

Lyn pushed up as she glanced to the open door.

Gaius was no longer in the bed, and she smelled the sweet scent of banana cooking. For a moment, she thought she must have imagined the sound, but there was a second giggle a moment later, followed by Gaius's laughter. Lyn took a slow breath when she realized the second floor was nearly devoid of heartbeats.

All but one was downstairs.

Lyndis quickly dressed and moved out into the hallway. The nursery was empty. She moved to the last door on the left and pushed it open. The dark room had only one form laying atop it. Iyana.

Lyndis frowned, she knew it was no use to get her up. Lyndis bound down the stairs and took the last few steps slower as the scene in the kitchen came into view.

The youngest pups were seated in high chairs eating cut up bits of pancakes, but what shocked her the most was the eruption of giggles coming out of Aurelia and Sylvie as Gaius flipped a banana pancake in the air and made goofy noises. She was even more stunned at seeing two empty plates coated in syrup in front of them both.

Gaius's eyes briefly met hers, before he turned his charming smile on both little girls sitting on the counter stools.

"Who wants this one?" He spoke in French.

"Sylvie can have it." Aurelia's small voice spoke up. Lyndis felt the brimming of tears. It felt like so long since she'd heard any of them speak.

"Hmm... I think maybe Lyn should get this one." Gaius spoke warmly. Lyn made her way slowly over to the counter. She glanced to her two small cousins who were now watching her. Lyndis forced the emotion off her face and smiled at them.

"It smells good," Lyndis commented as she struggled to keep it together. She stared at her mate with a look of gratefulness. Gaius just grinned at her as he set a plate in front of her. Lyndis ate in silence as she watched Gaius interact with the young ones. He kept making pancakes until none of them could eat any more.

"Those were yummy," Sylvie commented. Lyndis stared at the smiling six-year-old and was barely able to keep a handle on her emotions.

"I'll make them whenever you want," Gaius spoke warmly. Lyndis looked to him next. He just grinned at her. It gave Lyndis a strange mix of feelings. She quickly looked away, but not before seeing his smile fade slightly at her aloofness.

"I'll be home all day today... so how about we do something fun. Wanna go for a run? There is a lake not far from here. We can go swimming. It's supposed to be extra hot today." Gaius said.

Both Aurelia and Sylvie's expressions fell somewhat.

Their small eyes trailed over to the expanse of paneled windows along the front of the house. Lyndis followed their gaze knowing what they were looking at. She could smell them.

Lua Crianca Enforcers.

"Ignore them. They won't interfere with us." Gaius said. Both girl's eyes turned to Lyndis.

"How about some cartoons? We'll open the wall so you can get some fresh air." Lyndis said. Without a word, they slipped off their stools and walked to the living room. Lyndis sighed as she moved over to wipe down the two youngest of syrup and take them out of their high chairs. She set them on the ground so they could join the other two.

She felt Gaius's eyes on her the whole time.

"They need to go outside." He spoke lowly once all the girls were in the living room in front of the TV.

"You got them out of the room... it's a start. Thank you." Lyndis said as she turned from him. Gaius caught her wrist.

"Lyn I-" Gaius's tone instantly made her uncomfortable.

"Don't. Not now." Lyndis said firmly. She already felt emotion welling in her throat. She glanced to the living room. She couldn't do this here, not in front of them.

"Please... let me be alone with them for a while. I'll make lunch in a few hours... come back then." Lyndis said.

She felt the crushing disappointment through their bond, and she hated herself a little more. He released her wrist, and he left without a word.

Lyndis took a few deep breaths. She couldn't let herself be around him for long periods of time right now. Her emotions were all mixed up. She couldn't forgive him, she wouldn't let herself... but she needed him in her life. As much as she wanted to push him away, she knew she couldn't.

She didn't think she could survive that if she did.