Eddsworld, oh Eddsworld.
Who's world is it?
Eddsworld.
We set our scene and begin our tale with a street.
'Twas a simple street...
well, only at first glance at least.
You'll figure out what I mean by that soon enough.
But as I was saying, we begin on said street hearing an obnoxiously loud-

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEECH

A rickety yellow car announced, coming to a stop and disturbing the once peaceful, conveniently quiet road.
The miserable yellow car was your own, and you pushed on the brakes causing it to jerk to a halt in front of a little blue house that at this moment, was now considered your home.

"Welp I finally made it," You exclaimed to yourself as you stepped outside the vehicle. You sized up the small building and placed your fists firmly on your hips, taking in a deep breath and calmly exhaling to take it all in.

"Now to unpack."

You went around to the back of the car and unlocked the trunk. The rusty and overused hinges forcing you to use an excessive amount of force to pry it open completely.

"What a hunk of junk." you protested, giving the bumper a good kick. Only this caused it to detach and drop to the ground as if being a snarky comeback from the insulted car itself.

You just deadpanned at the horrid thing and focused back on getting out your boxes.

You scanned the inside of the trunk picking a smaller box to start with.
Gently picking it up, you made your way to the door but could barely reach for your key before noticing a sound.

Meow

You thought you were going crazy until there it was again.

Meooow

You whipped your head around.
There, on top of the hood of your car sat a fluffy orange cat.

"Oh hoho, hello there! Where did you come from?"

You looked at its neck.

"Hmm, no collar."

The cat hopped off the hood and trotted across the road. It stopped once it reached the other side, giving you one last glance before disappearing into the backyard of the house across the street.

"Wait come back!" You called, deciding to follow the mysterious furry friend. You put down the box on your doorstep and followed its path.

Meanwhile,

"Yeahhh, am I the only one who realizes how ridiculous this is?"

"C'mon Tom, it's only gathering a bunch of stray cats to form a cat army and training them to infiltrate every cola factory in the city!
It's completely reasonable."

"Yeeaah sure."

In the backyard stood three friends.
There was Edd in his green hoodie and tan cargo pants, chipper and fun-loving, obviously obsessed with cola, and currently conversing with Tom, blue hoodie. He was the more stern one, the guy with attitude, usually questioning everything his friends did, yet still always willing to go along for the ride. Legend says this guys parents were a pineapple and a bowling ball, giving him his tall spiked hair and black voids for eyes.
And just across the yard was Matt in his purple hoodie paired with a green overcoat. He was never the sharpest tool in the shed, though if there was anything Matt knew it was how beautifully handsome his chiseled face was...but that's about it.

About a hundred cats were in their yard, running through multiple rag-tag obstacle courses they very obviously made themselves. Some more of the determined fluff balls could also be seen on the sidelines attempting to lift weights with their tiny paws.
Tom could see Matt monitoring one larger cat in particular who had just run through one of the courses.

"Listen up soldier, you're not going to outrun security going that slow. You have to get faster, STRONGER!"

"Meow-"

"No buts! Now drop and give me twenty, recruit!"

With that, the cat started doing little push-ups.

Tom turned back to Edd.
"This seems like it's bordering on animal cruelty."

"Don't worry, I made a deal with the cats. I provide the treats, they provide the service. I asked Matt to grab A LOT at the store. Ringo needed some more anyway.
We can give them some in a bit, they deserve to take a break."

In the meantime, you were creeping down the side of the house. You could hear quite a bit of noise. Mainly a large amount of cat meows and talking as you more closely approached the back. A bit confused but still eager to see what was going on, you sneakily peaked your head around the corner, keeping your body positioned behind a bush. Unfortunately, your clumsy legs betrayed you, causing you to quickly lose your balance and fall into the bush.

Edd and Tom were startled by the sudden rustling and looked over to see you brushing yourself off of little twigs and leaves.

You quickly noticed their staring, feeling quite embarrassed.

"Heh heh, hello. I didn't mean to intrude, I heard some noise coming from your yard and I guess I just got curious."

"No worries," Edd said kindly.

"We get that a lot," Tom added
"Wait, I don't think I've seen you around here before." He then remarked, seemingly analyzing your appearance.

"OHHHH wait" Edd exclaimed, "you must be our new neighbor! Are you the one who bought that house across the street?"

"Yep, that's me!" You responded, "Oh, as a matter of fact, let me properly introduce myself.
My name's Y/N."

"Nice to meet you Y/N! I'm Edd, and this is Tom." Edd motioned to Tom, who gave a little wave and an "Ey'"

Edd then turned towards his other friend across the yard.

"Hey Matt, come meet our new neighbor!"

"Ooo new neighbor?! I'll come back to check on you soldier!" Matt said to the struggling cat before making his way over.

"Matt, This is our new neighbor
Y/N."

"Hello Y/N, pleased you meet you!"

"Pleased to meet you too!" You said politely as you shook his hand. "So do all of you live on this street?"

"Actually we're roommates. We've been friends for as long as I can remember, so we decided to just stick together and share a house." Said Edd.

"Wow, that's really cool! Must be fun."

"Yes, but living in a cramped house with three other idiots is not easy...aaand can start to drive you insane," Tom replied. Edd and Matt gave him unimpressed looks.

"Wait there's four of you?"

"Yeah, our friend Tord is the fourth. I wish you could meet him but he's currently out grocery shopping." Edd answered.

"Only 'cause you demanded he gets more bacon," Tom said, shoving his hands in his hoodie pockets.

"He's the one who decided to sneak into the kitchen last night and eat it all. Now HE has to replace it."

Your eyes shifted behind the guys.
"By the way, what exactly is uh-" you motioned at the yard of cats.

"Oh this, Edd here decided to build a cat army," Tom said carelessly.

"Heh, nice. No one can resist cats, they make the perfect soldiers."

"EXACTLY! See Tom, Y/N gets it." Edd proudly spoke, folding his arms.

"Look I don't care who gets it, but I'm not going to be the one cleaning the litter box," Tom added sternly, shuddering at the thought.

Edd looked at the cats still training.
"I think the cats can stop now. Matt, would you mind grabbing the cat treats."

"Cat...treats?"

"Yeah, the ones I asked you to grab at the store. I remember making it very clear that we needed those treats, Matt."

Matt just stood there confused, trying to recap what happened.

FLAAAASHBAAACK

"Matt don't forget, you HAVE to pick up those treats for the cats we're getting." Edd's voice sounded through the phone as Matt strolled through the store's isles.

"That one hundred dollars I gave you should be enough to get a good amount of treats."

"Don't worry about it Edd, my memory is impeccable. I'll be home with the treats in no time!"

Matt hung up the phone, shoving it into his coat pocket.

Then suddenly, he was drawn to a particular sales clerk.

"MIRRORS, MIRRORS, GET YOURSELF A NICE NEW MIRROR! ONLY ONE-HUNDRED DOLLARS EACH. ONLY UGLY PEOPLE DON'T SPEND ONE-HUNDRED DOLLARS ON A SINGLE MIRROR!"

Matt was offended by the statement and decided to prove him wrong.

"Well, I'm no ugly person!" He proclaimed as he approached the clerk. "I'll take your finest Mirror please!"

Matt was handed an elaborate gold framed mirror by the clerk and headed to the checkout.

He had his mirror rung in and nonchalantly handed over the hundred-dollar bill to the woman.

He was then kindly told to have a nice day and had his expensive mirror handed back to him.

He started to leave until-

"WAIT! I forgot something!" Matt said stopping right in his tracks.

"...my receipt." He added, cheerfully ripping the receipt out the machine and heading on his way.

Edd's frustrated and raging stare broke Matt out of his flashback and he looked towards him guiltily.

"Heh heh, oops."

"So you're telling me we have no treats for these cats Matt?!" Edd yelled just a little too loud.

All at once, the cats came to a halt, instantly stopping what they were doing and whipping their heads around, giving death glair to the four of you.

MEOW
meaoooow
Meeeeerw
Meerrrr
HISSSS

Tom heard the malicious growls of cats and turned to see the angry mob of felines slowly creeping towards them

"UH EDD." Tom let out, his voice full of concern.

Edd just continued angrily confronting Matt.

"EEEDDDD." You also warned, quickly noticing them as well.

"EDD!" Tom tried again.

"Give me a second Tom!" Edd snapped in return.

"BUT EDD!" You quivered.

The cats grew even closer. You could practically see the yellows and greens of their eyes. Their now slimmed pupils reflecting their oddly adorable rage.

Tom then got a look on his face like he had an idea.

"Hey look free cola!!" Tom exclaimed in an overly exaggerated cheery voice.

Edd's tone changed in an instant and he finally turned excitedly.

"Where?!"
But to Edds dismay, there was no cola, only impending doom.
"Ohhh"

The cats stopped only a few inches away from your feet and a particular black and white cat in front looked up at the four of you innocently.

"Awww there's nothing to worry about. They're just a little cranky." You said, leaning down to smile at the cat.

Then to your shock, the cat whipped a switchblade OUT OF NOWHERE and said what was presumably a cat version of

CHARGE!!!

"...Maybe not. RUN!!" You screamed, and all four of you darted away towards the front of the house, the cats charging after.

"What do we do?!!" You asked Edd in a panic.

"Uhh, maybe we'll tire them out if we just keep running! That should work!"

Spoiler alert, it didn't.

About five minutes passed and you peeked over your shoulder, the cats were still going strong. In fact, they were also nearly in arms reach. Their clawed paws just grazing your legs.

"How are they so fast?!" Matt cried, sounding very out of breath.

"BECAUSE WE TRAINED THEM TO BE!!" Tom shouted back.

After doing at least twenty loops around the house you couldn't take anymore and the four of you came to an exhausted halt.

"Geeze I'm really out of shape!" You puffed out, grabbing at your aching chest.

"W-we all are" Tom breathed, wiping some sweat off his forehead.

"Well-HUFF PUFF- I'm far too beautiful to have to-PUFF-exercise" Matt confidently affirmed.

The cats caught up and surrounded you four, slowly closing in on you, pushing your backs up against the rough brick of the side of the house.

For a moment you thought this could still be escapable until you noticed Matt attempting to lift a leg only to have one of the cats nearly slice it in half with their razor-sharp claws.

You sorrowfully looked at each one of your new neighbors.
Matt was fearfully shielding his face, Tom was tearfully writing his will, and Edd was clinging dearly onto an empty cola can on a chain.

These guys are certainly strange, you thought to yourself, But I have seen more action in these past twenty minutes than I have in my entire life.

Appreciative of this, you decided to voice your last words.

"Hey guys, I know we just met but I just wanted to say...
it was an honor to meet you!"

"Thanks Y/N, it was an honor to meet you too!" Edd said wearily

The cats were ready to pounce,
Growing closer!
And closer!
AND CLOSER UNTIL-

DING DINGALING DING DING DING DING DINGALING DING DING

"Is that an ice-cream truck?" You asked aloud.

"FISH TRUCK! FISH TRUCK! GET YOUR FRESH FISH HERE!"

To your surprise (and slight disappointment) it was not an ice cream truck, but rather a little truck labeled "Joe's Conveniently Placed Fish Truck" that was slowly coasting down the street.

The cats went completely still and silent, shifting their eyes in the direction of the musical vehicle.

The same cat with the switchblade popped his head out from the crowd.

"MEOW, MEOW MEOW!" He commanded pointing his blade. And he lead the cats in a charge towards the truck.

"Fish! Get your fresh- AHHHHHHH!"
The fish man screamed, noticing the cat stampede.

You and the guys, still bewildered, slowly stepped from the wall and watched as the fish man floored it down the road with the cat army running swiftly behind.

The truck and the cats both disappearing into the distance.

Gone without a trace.

The four of you stood in silence for a moment, still absorbing what had just happened.

. . .

Without anyone noticing, Edd grew a sly smile on his face.

"Heh...

Well Y/N,

as for meeting us, I would call this a

PURR-fect introduction."

Tom slowly turned his head, glaring at the still smiling Edd.

"I hate you"